Before And After the Divorce - 2. Leading a Double Life

After that first tryst with Zach, we started seeing each other outside of work pretty much once a week. Every so often he or I would have enough going on that we'd have to skip. It took a couple more months before it got sexual again. Otherwise, when we'd separate for the night, we'd share a kiss, but that was the extent of it. As I'd indicated before, we became friends, so we were comfortable with each other. We didn't always go out for drinks, my budget wouldn't allow that, so sometimes we just hung out at his place, in the living room, watching the Phillies or some other thing. We'd also keep up with a couple series on Prime or Peacock. The first couple we watched weren't current, but not having seen them before, we enjoyed them. Lacy wasn't into cop and lawyer shows, so that wasn't something she and I did together. But Zach and I watched Reacher, Bosch, Goliath, Mr. Mercedes, and the occasional movie. We were comfortable with each other and neither of us needed the sexual aspect of the relationship. That was until my first argument with Lacy happened.

We'd lost track of time one Friday night. It was after midnight when I left his apartment. It was usually around 10, maybe 10:30 when we ended the night. This night happened to be Zach's birthday. He was a little moody about his previous relationship, so I stayed longer to keep him company, let him vent a little. It wasn't a very clean breakup. Zach had discovered his boyfriend was stealing money from him. Even though Zach thought they could have had a future together, the stealing was a little more than he could stand. So I got home at almost 12:30 that night.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"At Zach's. It was his birthday, and he was upset about a previous relationship."

"Is there really a Zach? Or are you fooling around with another woman?"

"No. There's nobody else. I spend these nights out with Zach. You're the one that told me to do it."

"I told you to get a hobby, go out with friends occasionally. I don't think that's exactly what you've been doing. Who is she?"

"There is no she. I'm telling you; I just hang out with Zach. Most of the time we stay at his place and watch things on TV that you wouldn't be interested in anyway."

At this point, we'd gotten a little loud and woke Dominic.

"Great. Now I'll be up all night trying to calm him down. Get out. Go out with your bimbo while I take care of our child."

"Lacy, you're..."

"GO! I don't want to look at you tonight."

I was so pissed off that she wouldn't believe me, I turned around and left. I called Zach. Fortunately, he hadn't gone to sleep yet. I explained what happened and he said to come over, that I could spend the night there. So, I did. Unfortunately, Zach's furniture wasn't very conducive to sleeping on. He had a couple lay-z-boy chairs and a love seat in his living room. The chairs were OK for watching TV, but I wouldn't have been comfortable trying to sleep on one. Zach said I should sleep in the bed with him. Of course, I left with just the clothes on my back, so I had nothing to sleep in. And that's exactly what I slept in - nothing. Zach joined me in sleeping in the buff and both of us were upset. So, like the first time, holding each other led to kissing, which led to more. But this time we didn't stop at sucking each other's cocks. Zach took out a tube of lube and asked me to make love to him. I was both attracted to him and totally pissed off at Lacy for not trusting me. Ironic as it was, I ended up cheating on Lacy like she accused me. Except it wasn't a woman that I made love to that night.

I went home the next morning to a wife who had turned around 180 degrees overnight. She said she was so sorry she didn't trust me. She asked me where I spent the night. I told her Zach's. There was no hesitation in her believing me. Once again, we were OK. Life went on. I again hung out with Zach about once a week. We again got into a routine of doing no more together than a goodnight kiss. We both seemed to be content with that level of relationship. Or so I thought.

March rolled around and Dominic turned three. The company was growing, and I had been promoted to foreman at work a few months before, so money wasn't nearly as tight. We had a little party for him, invited a few of our friends, plus a few couples that Lacy got friendly with that had kids in the same daycare/preschool. I didn't work alongside Zach anymore, but we kept up the weekly hanging out.

I invited Zach since I didn't really know the other parents too well. I was surprised when he showed up with another guy. This happened to be a week that I had skipped going to visit him. He said he had plans that week, he was taking a class. I believed him. When he showed up with someone else, it hurt. I know we weren't dating, and he was free to see someone else. I just wasn't expecting it. At least I thought he would have told me. I faked like I wasn't feeling well, and Lacy was cool about it, she told me to go lie down, and as long as I promised to help her clean up later it would be OK. She later told me Zach left pretty much right after.

Zach called a few days later, asking if we could get together one night soon. I was jealous, so in a snarky voice I asked why he wasn't going to be busy with Larry.

"What? I can't have more than one friend?"

"Is that all Larry is? A friend."

"Well, no. We started dating a couple weeks ago. Why? It's not like you and me are boyfriends or anything. We only hooked up twice. I needed something more. You have Lacy, I can't have somebody?"

"You're right, I'm sorry. When do you want to hang out?"

"You know what? Forget it. Have a nice marriage."

"Zach..."

But he'd already hung up. We never spoke again. I tried calling a few times, but he wouldn't answer.

As time went by, Lacy realized I wasn't going out anymore. I told her Zach didn't have the time anymore, he was too hung up on his new boyfriend. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized that I fucked up.

"You never told me he was gay."

"I didn't think it mattered."

"Were you fooling around with him all this time? It wasn't another woman?"

"No. And we don't need to go down that road again, do we?"

"I think we do. Were you having sex with him every week? Is that why you kept going over there?"

"No. Lacy, you're nuts. Why would you think that?"

I realized at that moment that she probably was nuts. She had started a fight about the littlest things a few times recently. Of course, those were only little fights.

"I think that because you're always with him."

"One day a week, and not even every week is always?"

"Shut up. I won't have a man cheating on me. Especially not with another man. You can sleep on the couch from now on."

"Lacy, why are you acting like this?"

"I'm acting like this because you're a lying cheat."

"I'm not, and you have no reason to believe that."

"I can read the writing on the wall. Go on. Go sleep with Zach tonight. I don't want to look at you."

"But Lacy..."

"GET OUT!!!"

I had no choice, so I left. I obviously couldn't go to Zach's. It hurt the budget a little, but I went to a cheap motel, at least the budget pain was minimized. I went home the next morning to get ready for work, and Lacy was all apologetic again. This was confusing the shit out of me. I almost suggested she go see a doctor or something but decided against it for the time being. I think that decision saved a couple more years of our marriage.

But something was missing. I needed to stay with Lacy for Dominic's sake, but as more time went by, I realized more and more that I didn't love Lacy anymore. I wasn't even sure I ever did; not the first time I had that doubt. I started visiting the adult video stores in the area. Initially, I'd just jerk off in one of the private booths. After a while, that wasn't enough. I'd occasionally go in one with a glory hole. Sometimes just to have someone else jerk me off, other times I'd do more, but never more than oral sex. After a while, I was joining the other guy in the booth, as opposed to using the glory hole. That finally caught up with me.

One Friday night, Lacy and I got a babysitter so we could have a nice romantic night out for her 25th birthday. We still had the occasional argument over the tiniest things, but overall, we got along. It seemed like a good idea at the time. And in truth, it was. We just happened to go to the wrong restaurant. Our waiter was a guy I'd been with on some of my trips to the video store. We'd actually made plans to hook up a number of times. When he came up to our table, it all fell apart.

"Hi honey, who's this, your sister?"

"Dylan, why is he calling you honey?"

"Mike is one of my regular hookups. Who's Dylan?"

"He is. My husband. You've been hooking up with him?"

"Oh, I don't think I should say anymore."

The waiter walked away.

"Dylan, what's going on?"

"I, um..."

"He's telling the truth? You've been fucking him?"

"No. I've never fucked him."

I put too much emphasis on 'him' and Lacy caught it.

"You've fucked some other guy?"

"I..."

"Don't bother coming home. Go get some boxes or suitcases or something. All your stuff will be in the garage by Monday evening. You can come by and pick it up then."

With that, she got up and walked out. Everybody at the closest tables were looking at me with disgust. Since we hadn't even gotten water yet, I saw no reason to stick around. I caught an Uber home, picked up my truck, stopped at Taco Bell for some food, and parked in the nearby strip mall to sleep for the night. Actually, it turned out to be the whole weekend I slept in the truck. It wasn't pleasant. Zach's lay-z-boy would have been more comfortable. But I didn't want to spend the money for even a cheap motel. One of my smartest decisions recently, it turned out.

I stopped by the apartment on Monday after work to try to do something to fix this, but Lacy and Dominic weren't there. I went to our garage and started packing my things into boxes to put into my truck. A few boxes in, I came across an envelope. I didn't have to open it to know what it was. But I opened it anyway. As I expected, it was divorce papers. She wanted everything. All the possessions left in the apartment, alimony, child support. I was surprised she didn't want my left testicle. I knew she was going to get it all too. I fucked up bad.

Tuesday, on a break, I looked up divorce lawyers. I was hoping maybe I'd get a break on something she wanted. I got hold of one who had evening hours on Wednesdays, so I made an appointment to meet with him the next day. It didn't go well. He pretty much told me I was fucked; any judge would give her everything she wanted after he or she heard my side of things. None of which could dispute what Lacy was claiming.

A few weeks later, all my fears were realized. Lacy got it all. I went back to the Home Depot I worked at when I first got married, but all I could get there was a few hours a night a couple times a week. I went to the 24-hour supermarket next. I was able to get something from 6:30 PM to 12 AM Tuesday through Saturday, stocking shelves and getting things ready for the overnight guys. I was also able to stay later Friday and Saturday nights to work 8 hours. I got 32.5 hours every week. I was able to afford a run-down one-bedroom apartment and pay Lacy almost as much as she asked for. The trade-off there was I only got to visit Dominic every other Saturday, at the apartment, supervised by a social worker. After just a bit shy of seven years of marriage, the marriage was over, and my life was a mess. The worst part was not being there for Dominic. He was only six and couldn't understand why daddy wasn't there anymore.

Next up - "Year 1 AD (After Divorce)"