Trash Polka - 5. Chapter 5

The next few days passed without incident. I was on my very best behavior. I didn’t even let dealing with other humans ruin my mood. I broke my back tattooing and went home alone at night like a good boy. Hopefully that would quiet some of my friends’ worries. I was making a conscious effort to be more considerate. If I was honest, they were right. I’d begun putting myself in increasingly dangerous situations recently. If any of my friends did the same, I’d be freaked out. My first clue to how far I had fallen should’ve been Cameron sounding the alarm. He’d let me make a fool of myself, but when he stepped in, that was when I’d gone too far. He was secretly a good friend. Underneath the dirty looks and stupid jokes, he was actually a sweet person. That was just how he’d learned to defend himself from the rest of the world. Everyone around me deserved the same effort they gave me. Which meant turning back the dial on my crazy.

It was Saturday and I’d taken the day off. As I normally did when I was setting up new pictures or a stream. Today was the day my content would go live and it always filled me with a little bit of anxiety. I got jittery and would be bouncing off the walls all day until I inevitably crashed. There was a lot to do, so maybe that energy wouldn’t be a bad thing. It’d be a busy day. I yawned and rubbed my sleeve against my eye. My hair was sticking up every which way and the sweatshirt I was wearing was easily two sizes too big. There were smears of old eyeliner on my sweats and I knew I should get rid of them, but nothing was more comfortable.

I clicked around, trying to make sure everything would go smoothly later on my site. I always monitored the drop, but I liked being able to sit and watch as people (hopefully) gobbled up my content and showered me with money. It was validating but made me feel a little strange too. When I was young, I’d never have been comfortable with my body enough to do this. I was proud of myself. What was the point of life if it wasn’t to make awkward, teenage you proud? I’d only ever wanted to be someone 16-year-old River would’ve looked up to. Still, the thought that people paid to see me in various stages of undress made me question our society as a whole.

In the distance, my front door opened. I was huddled in the small office I had set up in my spare room. The space served many purposes, but for right now, it was usually where I edited and uploaded. After a minute, Alec appeared in my doorway. He looked like he hadn’t slept well. I frowned as he rubbed his eyes. He settled into the fold out chair next to me and yawned.

“It’s amazing that you go from this to that.” He mumbled, glancing between me and the screen.

“Thank you?” I chuckled and finalized everything before looking at him, “August said we could use his place for the pictures this time.”

“I know. I’ve already been over there to set up a little.”

“Oh fantastic. I really should pay you two for how much you help me.” I said.

I kept my voice casual as my eyes darted over my friend. He looked disheveled. In a not good way. I kicked myself. No wonder my friends were irritated with me. They wanted me safe and happy. The feeling was mutual, but I acted like they had no right to voice concerns. Then I went and almost gave Alec the same treatment. It should be okay for them to check up on me if I expected to be able to do the same.

You need to get it together Riv, ma boy.

“Alec, you been sleeping?”

“Not well.” He sighed, rubbing his neck, “I either fall asleep quick and wake up, or I can’t fall asleep at all.”

“You have much work right now?” I stood, holding the back of my hand to his forehead. He tried to swat me away, sending a glower up at me.

I didn’t care. My friends had the right idea. If we weren’t looking out for each other, who the hell would? Plus, I had a brutal protective streak when it came to Alec. I still remembered when he was a scrawny kid, beaten down by his horrible parents and downright desperate for someone to show him a shred of love. I’d seen him go through things no kid should have to. Even now, I saw how much it hurt him that he had no contact with his family. Not that I was much better.

“I’m working. Enough to get out of the house at least.” He mumbled.

“I'm glad you're getting out of the house. Not good for you to hole yourself up there. Good, and you told your therapist about the sleeping?”

He rolled his eyes but nodded. Running my fingers through my hair, I sighed. Alec wasn’t a child. He knew I cared, but maybe I was pushing this a bit far. He was an adult. He knew when he should tell his therapist things. God knew they would take care of him better than his mentally ill, emotionally scarred friend would. He trusted them, so should I.

“August said you saw that customer again when the two of you went out? The rude hot one?” He asked. Alec crossed his arms and when our eyes met, one of his eyebrows rose.

“Across the room. We didn’t talk or anything and it’s not like I planned it.” I pouted.

Alec followed close behind, “Well, of course not. Was it weird?”

“Why would it have been weird? It was across the room. We didn’t even interact.”

I pulled out a bag, double checking that the black full body harness was inside and looking around at the top of my dresser. I would not describe myself as overly feminine in my day-to-day life. That being said, I was starting to acquire a frankly shocking amount of makeup. I dug through my various eyeliners, placing a ridiculous amount of highlighter and body glitters to the side. They had become mainstay when I’d see how much better they made my skin look on camera.

“Because I know you. What level did your brain ratchet up to on the obsession scale?”

Laughing, I shoved everything in a bag and threw it over my shoulder. Then, I thought about it. I wouldn’t say that my obsession levels had really changed. I was intrigued still, but I seemed fine. Or I thought I did? Was Alec seeing things I wasn’t? Maybe my friend just knew me better than I knew myself. Walking to the front door, I toed on my slippers and hummed softly. I ran through a mental list and checked things off.

“You’re going like that?”

“What?” I pouted as I looked down at myself. I was, admittedly, a bit of a mess. I rolled my eyes, “We’re just getting in a car and going to August’s.”

“The slippers?” Alec chuckled.

I splayed my hand over my chest, clutching at nonexistent pearls in outrage, “What, pray tell, is wrong with my cat slippers Alec?”

*

I'm the serpent here to test you with

forbidden fruit

I love the look on your face when I'm tempting you

This is a part of me you begged to let

you see

A part of me that'll do anything to get

what I need

Pressing hard I opened my mouth wider, looking in the mirror to make sure that the fangs weren’t lopsided. It was a bit harder as I swayed to the music blasting from the little speaker to my left. Once I was sure they looked good, I grinned. It was a little foreign, having long fangs in my mouth. A hand gipped my chin tightly, stopping my movement. Alec leaned closer, adding a significant amount of black eyeshadow. He threw the brush behind him. It made me cringe. There had to be black powder all over August’s pristine white couch now. I didn’t have much time to think about it. Alec was back, brandishing a thin, long brush coated in what I assumed was red liner.

“Close your eyes chompy.”

“Dey look bad?” I grimaced, earning a shoulder slap. I had a weird lisp thing going on. Alec couldn’t be bothered. I closed my eyes at his impatient look and a minute later I felt something cool glide along my eyelid right above my eyelashes.

“Maybe you mished your callin?” The snake themed version of my voice suggested, earning another smack.

“I will admit, you wouldn’t look half as good without me. You can open.” Alec sounded smug, which was good for me. I wasn’t sure how we’d started this, but he always did my makeup when I needed it. I’d always run my concepts by him, but in the last few months he’d become more and more involved. He had just started taking pictures too, so my friend had become vital to my success.

I stood up and stretched. There was vegan leather crisscrossing my whole body which made my normal movements feel so different, more restricted. Nothing was uncomfortable. In fact, having the light pressure on my skin was soothing in a way I hadn’t experienced before I started wearing harnesses. This was my first full body one, however, and I was still getting used to it. I’d ordered it specifically for these pictures and I was excited for the end result. Straps crossed over my chest and connected to a collar that was secured around my neck. Under the pieces across my chest sat an ‘O’ ring that was attached to a wider part under my pecs. There were straps across my thighs and a thicker band just above my hips too. Throw in some barely there underwear and it was a look.

When I’d received it, Alec and I had been of one mind. I got requests some time through private messaging on my page and a common request was vampire. This was the perfect set for it. I’d ordered some fangs and August had come in clutch with something he’d called “hair paste”. My hair was a fire engine red color and it made me think of my tattoo work, which made my geeky little heart happy.

“Bro! You look sick!” August gasped as he came in. He held bags in his hands and I smirked at him. He stopped short, smacking his hands to either side of his face, “The fangs? What? You look unreal! Are your collarbones…sparkly?”

Alec shook his head and started to clean up all the beauty products. He looked down and I heard his sharp intake of breath. There was, in fact, black powder all over Aug’s couch. Alec met my eyes and his widened, “Shit. Auggie, hey I’m sorry.”

August was too busy jerking my head back and getting his face creepily close to my mouth, “For why friend?”

“I got black all over your couch.”

August waved a hand in Alec’s general direction, “No worries. Black eyes River? You really committed!”

Laughing, I motioned to the bags in his hand, “That the stuff for the bed?”

“Yeah! I’ll go get ready!” August announced, handing the bags over to Alec as he darted away.

The actual set up was going to be simple. All of August’s bedding was black. We were pale and colorful. The contrast was going to be absolutely sublime. Sure, I was peddling porn, erotic content, whatever you wanted to call it. With the pictures I took, I'd discovered another creative outlet. I wanted them to be beautiful even if people were mostly just there to see my bits.

Don’t get me wrong, they were nice bits. I could probably provide references saying so if prompted. That wasn’t the point for me though. It'd quickly become more than just a way to earn money. This was fun. Setting up the whole theme was something I enjoyed. It was oddly relaxing. Disappearing into a “character” for a few hours was a release. I could be anything I wanted. It was just a different medium and the canvas happened to be my body.

Alec and I stood in the bedroom waiting patiently. We’d gone a little cliché. Red and white rose petals covered the bed. The room was dark, black battery-operated candles placed around strategically. We had a big ring light too, but I was hoping for super moody vibes. So far, it looked like we were headed in the right direction. August bounced into the room, now scantily clad and I looked between us. Yeah, this shoot was going to be a hit. Even though he hadn’t originally been a part of the plan, this was going to be awesome.

“So, where do y’all want me? I don’t know what to do with my hands. Or, you know, the rest of my body.” Auggie grinned and Alec hooked a finger in the part of his harness that went over his chest, tugging him toward the bed.

“Let’s do some of you guys together, then I want some of just River since he’s the one that gets fully naked. Maybe more of you both at the end. Kind of like a progression.” Alec said, shoving August onto the bed, "We'll have to try some different angles to keep your whole face out of the pictures August."

“So like, we’re all cute at first then it gets progressively more filthy?” August clarified, stretching out.

“Oh yeah. I’ve got fake blood too.” Alec nodded, adjusting the big light.

“Seriously, why isn’t this your job friend?” I asked as Alec pulled me forward and arranged me against August. He was stretched a bit, putting impressive abs on display.

“I couldn’t do this with anyone but you.” Alec sniffed and pointed, “River, yeah, put your hand there.”

I moved as directed and grinned at August when Alec made him tilt my chin up, “Come here often?”

August laughed until Alec yelled at us both and we got serious again. I had been hesitant to do this with partners, luckily between Alec and August, they managed to make me far more comfortable than I ever would have been with strangers. I felt the same way as Alec. I started this by myself and would have continued to do so if I didn’t trust Alec so much. He didn’t make me feel weird no matter how much of my body he saw. Truth be told, we’d been friends so long, there wasn’t much he hadn’t seen. The only difference was I tried not to be covered in blood in my day-to-day life.

*

Posing and taking pictures took far more energy than I would’ve ever expected. I had showered and scrubbed my skin nearly raw to be free of the copious amounts of glitter and makeup. My hair was up in an awkward little ponytail on top of my head, and I was wearing the glasses I tried to ignore most days. After the heavy eyeshadow, my eyeballs could not handle contacts right now. I was clicking through the photos we’d taken today, monitoring the other ones that'd been posted a few minutes ago.

They were selling well. It was a far simpler shoot. Who would’ve known that so many people wanted to fuck a Pokémon? Creepy, but oh well. The messaging and comments section was only open as long as I wanted it to be and thus far, there wasn’t much that drew my interest. Various comments about how hot I was. Comments requesting things for future shoots. Then of course, there was the bar at the bottom giving me a rundown of everyone who’d purchased in real time and my totals. Like a weird, sexual stock market ticker.

I was distracted by how amazing the pictures had turned out today. August had been a last-minute addition. We'd planned to do pictures, but not this session specifically. Luckily, we were similar sizes, and I had a white harness that fit his chest and shoulders. His bright ass blue hair was a great contrast for my red. He also had more muscle than me so I looked…softer in comparison. People were going to absolutely eat it up when I got around to uploading them. They had last time he’d joined me, and this shoot’s production had been levels above last time.

I think it would be strange to some people-modeling half naked with your friend-but it wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. If Cameron wasn’t so self-conscious and Lukas wouldn’t spend the entire time bright red, I might ask them to join me for a shoot. In truth, I couldn’t imagine either of them relaxing enough to make the experience less uncomfortable. Which was fine. Not everyone was as settled in their skin as August and me.

Even Alec had given me a hard no. That shouldn’t have surprised me either. Alec was gorgeous, but I don’t think he’d ever accept that. I’d even put together a whole candy themed project based on our hair. I had ended up doing it alone while Alec stayed firmly behind the camera. Part of me still hoped I’d be able to break him down one day. The world deserved to admire his bone structure. At least his shit parents had given him something.

I stretched my arms out in front of me, twisting them slowly. Both of my elbows popped, and I grimaced at the pain settled in my lower back. Tattooing was a huge part of my life, but I don’t think anyone had warned me just how much my body would hurt. It made sense, hunching over someone. For the most part, I sat like a curled-up shrimp. Posture nowhere to be found. Then I’d stand up and almost fall over as my back screamed in protest. Exercise helped, movement in general really. But it was times like these, sitting in front of my computer that I noticed most. I twisted from side to side, groaning when I popped again. Then I gripped my jaw lightly and jerked, cracking my neck. My vision blurred for a couple seconds, and I knew I should worry about that. No luck though, I had far more important things on my plate. Who needed health?

I was excitedly projecting what the numbers might be for these new pics, when something caught my eye. It was a private message. Not unusual, but there was barely anything in the message itself. Normally people rambled at me when they reached out privately. People were a lot braver on the internet and even more so in a private chat. I normally ignored them unless they were persistent. This one was different.

[user853739: I thought you looked familiar.]