No going back - 30. State Visit

"Fuck, I'm sweating like a pig."

Colin was, understandably, nervous and it was showing in all the dark, damp patches on his rather smart new t-shirt.

"Look. Change into one of those boring white ones that we bought for you to leave here, put a shirt on over it but leave it loose, unbuttoned. By all means wipe yourself down first, but don't use any more spray-on deodorant, you'll kill flies at 30 paces otherwise."

Colin pulled a face at me but grinned and went upstairs. Always self-conscious about his bulk and his tendency to sweat, he was overly fond of spray deodorant. I'd not yet managed to convince him that there were other, better means.

He came downstairs five minutes later, looking far less stressed because the white t-shirt didn't easily show sweat whilst the loose shirt covered a multitude of sins but also looked good. It was a rather loud stripe that we had compromised on, less boring than Colin's safe choices and less alarming than my livelier ideas.

We were at my house, expectantly awaiting the state visit. Then the car, a fairly utilitarian Ford Focus, pulled up. Doors opened and a voice said sharply, 'Girls' but we were greeted first by two lively nine-year-olds. Charmers - dark hair to their shoulders, dark eyes and big smiles.

"Uncle Colin, we've arrived."

"Did you see us coming?"

"Hello, I'm Maria."

"And I'm Bella."

I shook their hands and introduced myself, then saw a petite, dark-haired woman, presumably Annalisa, looking at me with intelligent eyes, assessing. At my side I heard Colin say 'Mother' and give an older woman a stiff hug. Introductions were made.

All I can say is that Colin's Father must have been a big man because Colin's Mother was tiny. Once blond, she wasn't quite grey, and she had a surprisingly quiet, reticent manner. We shook hands and didn't hug, thank goodness, though I noticed that Annalisa gave Colin a big hug that he clearly hadn't expected.

They'd driven straight down, so we offered tea and cake first, guided tour after. But the girls were restless. "Uncle Colin, can we look round, please?"

He looked at me and I shrugged, so he agreed. Annalisa tartly added, "Girls, don't open any doors that are closed."

"No Mamma."

We sat in the new conservatory and inevitably we started talking about it, with Annalisa leading. She was a surprise, she looked pure Italian but had a Manchester accent. I found out later that her grandparents came over to the UK after the war. She had a great sense of style, her top and slacks were plain but looked good. The twins were both dressed similarly yet different, carefully calibrated to be equivalent, I suspected.

"I bought the house as a project. I wasn't sure whether returning to Netherwich would work, and the new house was going to be something to keep me busy. I planned to live in it, but there was no rush."

Annalisa wrinkled her brow, "But you grew up around here?"

I paused, "I did. But it's rather complicated. My parents were members of an Evangelical sect, the Brethren of Jerusalem. My Father found out that I was gay whilst I was still in my last year at school. I was thrown out of the house the day I finished my exams. I never saw them again."

Both Annalisa and Colin's mother started at me, clearly shocked. It was Annalisa who broke the silence, "They made no attempt to contact you?"

"Not one. I always sent them my address, but the rules of their religion were more important. I did start correspondence, on Facebook, with my sister some five or six years ago. But the first time I met her since I was 18 was at Father's funeral."

"At the church?"

"Yes. I'd not entered it for 20 years. I was surprised nothing happened", I shrugged. "I have had nightmares about returning there, the very stones hissing at the touch of my feet, the entire congregation staring at me."

I found all three of them looking at me, I laughed, embarrassed. "Sorry, when you are brought up in a strict hell-fire and damnation Evangelical sect by parents who cleave to every commandment, it does rather rub off. At least in your nightmares."

Colin patted my arm, "We've got rather a long way from the house."

I shook my head, "Sorry, I said it was complicated. Can we show you round, it's all Colin's work."

He gave a depreciating smile, Annalisa looked at him nodding, his Mother simply frowned. Then the twins came in chattering about the house and the things they'd seen, till one asked the artless question, "Uncle Colin, where do you sleep when you stay because the spare room has no mattress."

I smiled at him. No, the room didn't have a mattress; that was on order, arriving in the week in time for Joe. Until Joe, the spare room had been a dumping ground. Colin seized up, I leaned over and deliberately patted his arm. I hoped he remembered my advice, never invent, never lie but whatever he said, I knew that I'd back him up. Colin's Mother and Annalisa spoke simultaneously.

"I don't think…"

"Girls!"

But Colin came out of his trance, "With Owain", and the inflection in his voice added an unspoken 'of course'.

"So, are you his boyfriend?"

"Maria!"

But Colin simply smiled, "Yes, I am."

"Oh good."

"You have a nice house, Uncle Owain."

"Can we come again?" I laughed and agreed.

Standing up to show them round broke the mood, but I seemed to have turned instantly into Uncle Owain. I caught Annalisa's eyes by accident, and she rolled them and mouthed ‘sorry’, but there was a smile too. Colin's Mother followed us round the house, saying nothing.

Both women paid close attention, however, and I sensed Colin's Mother's eyes on me whilst he was talking. Annalisa was looking around the kitchen whilst the rest of us stood by the doorway.

"And the interiors, it is amazing you have had time to do so much decoration, Owain."

I laughed, "I didn't, it is all Colin. I got seriously ill doing too much humping boxes from the self-storage I’d rented in London and was laid up for nearly two weeks. He organised his guys and my teenage nephew to work evenings and weekends."

"But who chose the colours and designed it", this was the first real question Colin's Mother had asked.

"Oh, Colin did. I pointed at various things in catalogues, but really, I have no idea about interiors. He's the one who loves visiting IKEA. I've told him that he needs to add gussying up to his portfolio." The two women turned to me, and I shrugged, "His term, not mine. But he has put some photos on the firm's website and has a couple of jobs planned where he is looking after the interiors too."

Annalisa smiled, "Well done."

Colin's Mother nodded, staring at her younger son, "And the garden?" With that, she steered Colin outside and the twins followed, chattering about the garden, leaving Annalisa and I alone.

She sighed, "Thank you for this."

"It's not me. Colin was shitting bricks this morning."

"I would imagine", her mouth pulled into a narrow line, "I always knew that Miles was a bit of a bully. I learned how to manage him, early on, make him think that everything was his idea. The twins weren't exactly planned, they took it out of me and when I managed to lift my head over the parapet, there was Colin, still in the same place he'd been in his teens. I tried talking to Miles, but he still sees Colin as his fat little brother who needed help against the world, he doesn't see the man."

"And his Mother?"

"Connie? It suits her. To have one of them at her beck and call, step into his Father's shoes. I didn't try very hard, and I sort of imagined that when Colin found a regular girlfriend, things would change". She gave a dry laugh, "Got that one wrong, didn't I?"

"What about this visit?"

"And Miles, you mean?" I nodded. "He's not happy, but he's not stupid. He can't forbid me to come, it's not the 19th century for God's sake, and the girls have been bending his ear. Unprompted by me, I may say."

"About seeing Colin."

"Yeah, they like him and moan when they don't see him that much. And well, Connie was dropping hints, the sort of hesitant wondering she does. 'I wonder if the bus journey would be too much for me?' That kind of thing."

"It's not far, and she looks hale and hearty."

"Oh, Connie'll outlive the lot of us. But she has a role to play", she shrugged, "so, I thought to myself, go for it, girl. Miles will moan, but we’ll get there." She turned to look at me, "It'll be a slow business, but I'm not having the twins growing up around toxic attitudes, and he knows that. I asked him the other day, if Colin popped in to see Connie regularly then what was the problem if he was gay and brought his boyfriend."

"And the answer?"

She gave another dry laugh, "He didn't have one."

"Mummy, Gran has been telling Uncle Colin all the plants that will grow in the garden."

"It's going to look lovely. Do you like gardens, uncle Owain?"

"There's going to be a terrace".

"And may be a pool."

"And a rockery."

"Or raised beds with lots of smelly plants."

"And lavender."

"And lilac."

"And…"

Annalisa laughed, "That's enough girls."

I smiled, and looked down at them, "Would you like to help me get tea ready, there's things in the fridge?"

So, the two happily came along and helped me unpack the various deli delicacies we'd acquired. It proved quite a hit with the two girls. Maria was the more adventurous, but both gave everything a go and whilst some things, olives for one, did not go well, they grazed round everything. And both Annalisa and Connie ate more than politely.

Connie looked at me, "Thank you, Owain, you have gone to a lot of trouble."

"It wasn't much trouble, and frankly, Colin did most of it. He sorted out the food, that's why it has an Italian flavour. The first time we…", bugger, what to say.

"I messed up and went to apologise. He was a client after all, even if I did like him in other ways. And well, he invited me in for a drink and was going to go for a take-away, but we went to Sainsbury’s, and I cooked."

"Italian. Pasta with prawns and chili. It was very tasty." We grinned at each other, and momentarily Colin forgot about his Mother.

"Do you do a lot of Italian cooking, Colin?", Annalisa smiled.

"I didn't know you cooked fancy, son."

"Hardly fancy, it's simple stuff that I've taught myself. I enjoyed the food on my trip to Italy, and when we were in London, Owain took us to a terrific Italian restaurant still run by an Italian family."

"Where abouts?"

"Near London Bridge."

Annalisa nodded, "My grandparents knew plenty of people down there, but I don't know whether Papa does", she smiled at Colin. "You and Owain will have to come over and we can swap recipes. All mine are from Mamma and Nonna." Colin froze and looked panic stricken, Annalisa continued, determinedly as if nothing was wrong, "I can fetch your Mother. Miles is often away during the week so we can be quiet. You understand?"

She saw that the girls had finished and sent them into the garden.

"I phoned him the other day."

Connie said sharply, "He didn't tell me."

Annalisa gave a dry laugh, "Perhaps because it didn't go so well. Colin?"

"I tried to tell him what my life was like; I wouldn't let him just tell me what I was supposed to do." He turned to his Mother, "I'm 32 Mum, I've got my own business, my own hobbies and now I've got a boyfriend, and we do stuff together. I want to be seeing you and everyone as well. But not if I get lectured and told what to do. If Miles doesn't like that I'm gay, fine; I don't like that he's a bully. But he's my brother and we should be able to jog along."

"He came over last weekend, tried to help me in the garden", Connie sniffed, "he's a dead loss."

Annalisa laughed, "Don't look at me. I don't know the first thing about gardening and ours is full of the girls' climbing frame and the rabbit hutch. He never said. Interesting…"

"Takes some getting used to", Connie said it apropos of nothing at all, but it was clear what she was talking about.

I decided to put my oar in, "How about if we come over one Sunday afternoon, the two of us, and we can both help. Colin knows what to do in the garden and I'm happy to be told."

Connie nodded, "I'll think about it. Thank you."

That was as far as we got. Once they'd gone, Colin said that in the garden they had mainly talked about gardening and his Mother's final injunction to him had been that he'd forget everything she'd said, and she would write it down and send him, with a list of plants.

"If she's talking to you about plants, then at least she and you are talking."

"That's a good thing?"

"It is a good thing. You can't expect her to change her attitudes overnight. So, keep chatting about gardens and offer to go over one Sunday."

"You don't mind?"

"I can live with it. We don't need to do lunch, just turn up about two and stay for a couple of hours or so. If Annalisa and Miles want to drop in, fine, it's a short enough time that she might be able to keep him under control."

"You reckon?"

"Twins are fucking hard work. A guy at work and his wife had them, and her parents ended up paying for a nanny to help her as the poor woman just wasn't coping. I think Annalisa's quite feisty, and I bet she didn't let Miles get away with much when they first met."

"Yeah, they used to fight a lot."

"Fight?"

"Oh, not ding-dong battles. But she'd give him what for about stuff. Yeah, didn't let him get away with things." He was thoughtful, "I reckon you are right. She wasn't well, after they were born and then life seemed to be about them."

"No time to rein in a recalcitrant husband."

"Yeah. So…"

"Take what we can, right?", and I grasped his hand.