Loving Fiercely: How I Resist - 3. Chapter 3: The Personals and I Envision Myself

The pairing of the two makes a great contrast.

The second one reminds me instantly of The Naked Civil Servant, Quintin Crisp's autobiography. He decided to transition to a gender-bending aesthete in the early 1930s (when he was still a teenager) for the reasons expressed in your poem. Many wonderful passages in the book recount when his stratagem failed and people took him for more than his clothes, makeup and mannerisms. Your verse reminds me of that  

The first one strikes me right now as more a challenge, and perhaps is hinges on one word. I wonder why these checklist-carrying, DL types are not homophobes (d***-sucking homophobes, the worse kind) and not racists? They'd accept a lot in the sheets they'd slander in the streets....

Provocative work here. Thanks for challenging us   

3 hours ago, Fae Briona said:

The pairing of the two makes a great contrast.

Thank you! While I had no issue ending on an angry tone, I noticed that my audience responded well to my starting off harshly (Poem 1) and switching to a calmer tone (Poem 2). And I think it worked out. It'd be cool to hear how folks interpreted this contrast.

I appreciate your response :).

3 hours ago, AC Benus said:

The second one reminds me instantly of The Naked Civil Servant, Quintin Crisp's autobiography. He decided to transition to a gender-bending aesthete in the early 1930s (when he was still a teenager) for the reasons expressed in your poem. Many wonderful passages in the book recount when his stratagem failed and people took him for more than his clothes, makeup and mannerisms. Your verse reminds me of that  

 

The first one strikes me right now as more a challenge, and perhaps is hinges on one word. I wonder why these checklist-carrying, DL types are not homophobes (d***-sucking homophobes, the worse kind) and not racists? They'd accept a lot in the sheets they'd slander in the streets....

 

Provocative work here. Thanks for challenging us   

 

 

This is the first time I'm hearing of this person. I was so fascinated by the description of the autobiography, I put it on my "For Later" list on my city library's website! Lol, you want to call what he's doing courageous, yet the man only wanted to be true to himself. It's revealing how dressing contrary to our gender expectations creates such an upset with people, then and now. While it wasn't easy, it was nice to perform this to an audience (straight and gay) and push back on this idea that we have to conform to others' ideas on how men and women should express themselves.

YES! I wrote this as a call-out to those who claim they're "preferences" aren't without some really messed up ideas on being a man. And while the poem does bring light to the way that society (gay men in this instance) can have this dismissive and sometimes violent reaction to femininity, it was also speaking to mainstream culture's expectations of what a black man is supposed to be. I couldn't tell you how many times it was assumed that I would speak differently, dress differently, or have preferred ways of expressing myself sexually, not because of anything I've said on my dating profiles, but because of stereotypes and erotic fantasies of who black men are, regardless of their sexual preferences. 

These were not easy to say to an audience, and even sharing these with you all was anxiety provoking. I appreciate you reading and allowing me to make me these risks :).

2 hours ago, BDANR said:

This is the first time I'm hearing of this person. I was so fascinated by the description of the autobiography, I put it on my "For Later" list on my city library's website! Lol, you want to call what he's doing courageous, yet the man only wanted to be true to himself. It's revealing how dressing contrary to our gender expectations creates such an upset with people, then and now. While it wasn't easy, it was nice to perform this to an audience (straight and gay) and push back on this idea that we have to conform to others' ideas on how men and women should express themselves.

 

YES! I wrote this as a call-out to those who claim they're "preferences" aren't without some really messed up ideas on being a man. And while the poem does bring light to the way that society (gay men in this instance) can have this dismissive and sometimes violent reaction to femininity, it was also speaking to mainstream culture's expectations of what a black man is supposed to be. I couldn't tell you how many times it was assumed that I would speak differently, dress differently, or have preferred ways of expressing myself sexually, not because of anything I've said on my dating profiles, but because of stereotypes and erotic fantasies of who black men are, regardless of their sexual preferences. 

 

These were not easy to say to an audience, and even sharing these with you all was anxiety provoking. I appreciate you reading and allowing me to make me these risks :).

This is why I'm so intrigued by your work. My friends and family is like the United Nations.

 What you described about speech drives me insane.

 Stereotyping one must be a thug and ghetto has to be so absolutely demeaning. When an African-American is well-spoken, then they're articulate... the biggest slap in the face.

 For centuries people turn their head to injustice. This community held to impossible standards. Even in their community, with hair texture or shade of skin.

I continue to find your work interesting, engaging, and provoking. You explore the question - more than merely rhetorical - why not be exactly who you think you are? In so doing, you give us all both courage and food for thought. 

11 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

This is why I'm so intrigued by your work. My friends and family is like the United Nations.

 What you described about speech drives me insane.

 Stereotyping one must be a thug and ghetto has to be so absolutely demeaning. When an African-American is well-spoken, then they're articulate... the biggest slap in the face.

 For centuries people turn their head to injustice. This community held to impossible standards. Even in their community, with hair texture or shade of skin.

Yes, you can't win for losing and ideas like this persist to this day. Hearing these things while I was young caused a great deal of distress for me, and I was fortunate to surround myself with good people, and have writing as form of expression, to vent and find contentment with who I am.

4 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

I continue to find your work interesting, engaging, and provoking. You explore the question - more than merely rhetorical - why not be exactly who you think you are? In so doing, you give us all both courage and food for thought. 

Thank you Parker! I'm very happy that you're continuing to follow my writings. While it can sometimes feel scary, I'm fortunate to have your support and others so that I may continue to share my work and thoughts :).

19 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

This is why I'm so intrigued by your work. My friends and family is like the United Nations.

 What you described about speech drives me insane.

 Stereotyping one must be a thug and ghetto has to be so absolutely demeaning. When an African-American is well-spoken, then they're articulate... the biggest slap in the face.

 For centuries people turn their head to injustice. This community held to impossible standards. Even in their community, with hair texture or shade of skin.

I have a very good friend who is young, black, and "articulate" -- and who was told (by his mother, of all people) that he "wasn't black enough" because of the way he spoke.

We had a long conversation one day about his often feeling like he didn't have a group he belonged to. Most of his friends were white, but he often still felt like "the black guy" and he didn't really feel at home in the black community either, in part because of statements like the one his mother made and in part because of his sexuality. What Du Bois referred to as "double consciousness."