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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Summer - 13. No Surrender

Friday, 31 May 2013

“Hey dude, what’s up? Where’s Chatri?” CJ arrived at Yates on Friday, wearing a light gray Georgetown t-shirt, to find Landon standing by himself at the front entrance.

“Morning, CJ. The stinker decided to skip lifting this morning. He’s trying to get the place ready for his girl’s arrival. Since I’m using a guest pass, I have to be escorted inside by a member.”

“That’s cool. You’ll be my guest. Let’s get in there and work up a sweat.”

“Thanks for offering to play tour guide later, bud. My brother’s schedule is so screwed up I would have been alone all day. At least he’s off tomorrow. I'll get to spend the day with him.”

“Did you bring clothes to change into after we shower?”

“Yep, that’s what’s in the backpack.”

Typical of teenage boys, their workout turned into a game of one-upmanship. They pushed each other to cycle longer, to make each dumbbell lift as perfect as possible, and to squeeze out as many chin-ups as they could. Tired and sweaty, they headed back to their lockers to shower and change. They barely talked as they left the gym floor, concentrating instead on slowing down their breathing and doing a few last stretches. They stripped, grabbed a towel, and headed towards the showers with CJ leading the way. Landon took the opportunity to check out his new friend’s backside. Neither boy appeared to be shy about their body, but both tried to keep a conversation going while still sneaking peeks at each other.

Even though Landon was a bit older, they were both about the same height and had similar muscular development. CJ had more body hair, his skin tone was a bit darker, but their equipment was similar in size. The one obvious difference was CJ had not been butchered after birth and still had his foreskin. There was plumpness in their cargo shorts as they stepped out of the locker room.

“Let’s drop the bags off at my place, Landon. We don’t need to carry all this stinky crap with us all day. We’ll put them in the garage; I’ll get one of the rents to give you a ride home if we get back late.”

“Chatri mentioned your family lives real close to the university.”

“See the brick house at the end of the block? That’s home.”

“Wow, it’s beautiful!”

“It’s a pretty cool place. I’ll give you a tour when we get back this afternoon. We’ll go in through to the garage.”

“Fuck! Two Harleys? Do you ride?”

“Not yet, but I plan on it as soon as I get my license. Those belong to my dads. I ride behind one of them whenever we take them out.”

They jogged down the Exorcist Steps on their way to M Street. CJ explained how the ninety-seven steps became famous and earned their current nickname. Running up and down them was a popular part of many a cardio routine for Hoya sports teams and area residents.

“Where are we going to lunch?

“I’m taking you to Rogo’s. It’s less than a mile away, so we’ll just walk there. Great bar that serves good food and it’s owned by Uncle Danno so I get treated right. He’s not really my uncle; he’s one of my dads’ best friends and they all want me to call them uncle. About a dozen gay men and I’m the only kid, so they all treat me as if I was their son. Which is pretty cool.”

“Dude, I want to ask you a personal question. The other day you mentioned something about how you turned your parents’ life upside down when you got here. I asked Chatri about it, but he said to ask you.”

CJ recounted the events in Miami and how they led to his move to Washington. How he had decided to write off his step-father as stupid and useless and how he was still pissed at his mother and hurt by how she abandoned him.

“Shit, man, if I had gone through all that I’m not sure I’d be acting as normal as you are.”

“Oh I still have my bad moments; there are nights I end up crying some. To use a line my Marine dad says all the time: no surrender is allowed. I’m not letting the bastard who kicked me out get me down. Dad and Papa have gone overboard trying to make me feel welcome and their friends are doing the same. One of those dudes is a social worker and deals with abused children all the time. Whenever we’ve been together, he keeps an eye on me as if I was an expensive piece of art or something. He was the first one to call me on my phone, he was the first one to invite me over to his place, and he was the first one to try and help me last weekend when I had a little disagreement with some jerk at a biker’s thing. They all treat me real good. They let me do what I think is right, but they’re always there if I need them.”

“That’s great, dude. It’s good to have adults who keep an eye on you without trying to just run your life.”

When they got to Rogo’s, Danno greeted them and had the staff treat them like royalty. He introduced them to a very hot man wearing a t-shirt, split at the sides, revealing a massive chest and sculpted abs. It was Montana, his cabinetmaker. The hug he gave the boys before he left them to go inspect the man’s work at his place next door, could have crushed bones with just a bit more strength behind it. Landon was almost drooling and CJ snickered promising him more eye candy at dinner on Sunday.

After learning about CJ’s dads' circle of friends, Landon, a bit subdued, explained how jealous he was. He admitted he was completely closeted at home, had decided to come out to his brother, and was planning to do so before he left town.

“Bud, anything I can do to help you out, you let me know. If Chatri likes him, I’m sure he’s a good guy and will be cool. Just remember to be yourself, whatever happens, happens. If you need a place to chill, you call me, and I’ll come get you.”

 

They decided to spend the afternoon visiting the War Memorials down by the Mall. The half-hour walk to the Constitution Gardens area was enjoyable and spent in comfortable conversation; both teens feeling very at ease with each other.

Their first stop was the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, honoring those who died or disappeared during the fighting in South East Asia. Brett had talked at large about it on the Sunday of the Ride to the Wall so CJ was very familiar with its history. He explained to Landon the Vietnam Wall, the best-known part of the memorial, had been designed by American architect Maya Lin when she was twenty-one years old, and completed in 1982. Since then the Three Soldiers statue and the Vietnam Women's Memorial have been added. Both teens, although too young to remember the actual conflict, were deeply moved and stared at the wall and names in somber silence. The magnitude of such a structure, inscribed with almost sixty thousand names, evoked similar strong emotions in most who saw it.

“You should have seen this place over Memorial Day Weekend, Landon, it was crazy!”

“Crowded?”

“That’s an understatement. The Rolling Thunder organization holds a motorcycle rally that Sunday and there were tens of thousands of bikes and hundreds of thousands of people. The actual ride portion is called the Ride to the Wall; it starts at the Pentagon and ends here at the memorial.”

“So you got to see it?

“Bro I rode in it! It was epic! Both my dads, two other guys who are part of their inner circle of friends, myself, and this cool guy we met that day named Elliot, rode together. Not sure when I’ll do it again, it gets a little too crazy. But it was one of the first things I did after getting thrown out by my step-father and I’m never going to forget it.”

“Hey, can we go to the Korean War Memorial next? My great-grandfather was a doctor and served in Korea, he died in a helicopter accident near the end of the war.”

“You mean he was like those guys in the old TV show M*A*S*H?

“Yeah, we have pictures of him with a bunch of other soldiers in front of those types of tents and stuff. We have his old uniform, medals, and a bunch of other things of his back home. It’s pretty cool, especially the letters he wrote. Some of what he wrote about is pretty sad.”

“I bet.”

“He’s become like this family hero. Because of him my grandfather and my father became doctors, and now my brother is studying medicine.”

“That’s cool, nice tradition.”

Just south of the Vietnam Wall they entered the Korean War Veterans Memorial. The main section of the memorial was in the form of a triangle intersecting a circle. There were shiny black granite walls with a large number of sandblasted images representing all troops who supported the actual fighters.

Within the walled triangle were nineteen large, stainless steel statues of soldiers. The boys read in the National Park Service brochure the statutes had been designed by Frank Gaylord; they represent a squad, with members from each military branch, on patrol, dressed in full combat gear. Strips of granite and juniper bushes, where the statues were placed, represented the rugged terrain of Korea.

The new friends were impressed by the detail of the sandblasted images and the various expressions on the faces of the cast figure. To them, the Vietnam wall was a passive reminder of the country’s losses, while the statues and sandblasted images seemed more dynamic.

In a somewhat somber mood, remembering Landon’s family loss in Korea, the boys walked towards the National World War II Memorial, located on the eastern side of the reflecting pool, across from the Lincoln Memorial. Dedicated to Americans who served in the armed forces and as civilians during World War II, it consisted of fifty-six pillars and a pair of arches surrounding a plaza and fountain.

Each pillar was inscribed with the name of one of the forty-eight states of 1945, as well as the District of Columbia, the Alaska Territory, the Territory of Hawaii, the Commonwealths of the Philippines, Puerto Rico, Guam, American Samoa, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. The northern arch was inscribed with 'Atlantic', the southern with 'Pacific'.

“Dude, I have learned more about the history of our country and our participation in all these wars today than I have in all my life! Thanks for inviting me to tag along, bro!”

“My pleasure, buddy. I don’t think I would have enjoyed this afternoon as much if I had been by myself. Having a hunky boy as an exploration partner is the way to go.”

“Hunky boy? Are you flirting with a senior, you little sophomore?” asked Landon while smirking.

“Maybe…”

CJ splurged on a cab back to Georgetown and the teens hugged and said goodbye promising to talk to each other the next day and looking forward to Sunday dinner.

 

Saturday, 1 June 2013

The first Saturday in June was similar to the last one in May for CJ and his dads: a nice long jog together, some hoops in the back patio, lunch, and then a lazy afternoon. The housekeeper, who came twice a week to clean, did not change linens or do laundry, so each one of them was responsible for their own. Brett also did his usual cleaning and detailing on the Harley; he rode it to work almost every day and the dirt was quick to accumulate. The teen enjoyed helping him with the project and could not wait until he had his license and could ride on his own.

In the evening, at CJ’s insistence, they went to Rogo’s for dinner. The kid enjoyed the fact he was treated as an adult there. The crowd was lively with a nice mix of gay and straight people. When he purchased the place, Danno posted a sign outside, next to the front door, informing prospective customers the patrons inside were mixed as to race, gender, sexual orientation, and nationality. It warned any comments or actions deemed offensive to any group would not be tolerated; any offenders would be ejected and banned from the premises.

On a Sunday night, with an NBA Eastern Conference Finals game on TV, the only woman in the place was the assistant manager. Danno, along with Montana the cabinet-maker, sat with them for a bit before excusing themselves to go check on some of the work done that afternoon in the loft space. Smiling, Brett and César gave each other a raised eyebrow look, and their kid started to giggle.

“What’s so funny, kiddo?” asked César.

“Oh, nothing much. I met Monty yesterday when I had lunch here with Landon. He’s walking a little funny today.”

All three burst out laughing, attracting looks from several patrons. The loss by the Miami HEAT was not enjoyable for CJ, or his dads, who had to listen to his bitching all the way home.

 

“Did you notice the way our boy almost drooled over that Monty guy? We’re gonna have to get him laid sometime soon.”

“Don’t go meddling in that shit, Brett; I’m sure it’ll happen soon enough. And remember, he has his first sleepover tomorrow night.”

“Stop laughing, you silly man, I have a feeling that sleepover is not going to be about reading comic books under the blankets with a flashlight.”

 

Sunday, 2 June 2013

“So guys, what do we do about Chip?” César poured himself a glass of wine and sat next to Brett at the kitchen counter. Potus and Pope, invited to come over in the early afternoon, arrived bearing half a case of chilled Coldstream Hills Chardonnay from Australia’s Yarra Valley.

“Cut his balls off and dump them in the Potomac?”

“I like your way of thinking, Detective Kennedy. But as a cop, you should know that’s illegal. Damn, this shit’s good! You may just turn me into a foo-foo wine drinker, JP.”

“Sure, Jarhead, sure―glad you like it. Back to the important shit; I think we need to confront Chip and we need to support Doc big time.”

“Guys, I’ve known Doc the longest out of this group,” said César. “He’s going to hurt a lot when all this comes to a head, but he’s one tough fucker. He’ll be fine long-term; I just think the whole scenario shouldn't drag out much longer.”

“How about we do an intervention next Saturday?” asked Tommy. “We’re all going to Rogo’s on Saturday after the Capital Pride Festival. Let’s ask Danno to borrow his place next door so we can talk to Chip and Doc.”

 

“Grandma?”

“Hi, CJ!”

“Hey, bro! This is a nice surprise, how come you’re calling me direct? What are you doing at Grandma’s?

“Mom and dad had some dinner to go to so I’m sleeping over here tonight. Grandma said it was okay to call you.”

“Cool! I just talked to her and Grandpa yesterday. How you doing, baby brother?”

“Fine. Missing you. Hey! I start those boxing lessons next Saturday. Dad took me to the gym and we talked to the trainer. He wants me to gain weight. Dad told him we had protein powder at home, the stuff you left behind, and I’m supposed to drink two shakes a day. Stuff tastes lousy.”

“You’ll get used to it. I’ll email you a couple of my recipes, and a list you can give Mom so she can buy the ingredients. I’ve got Dad and Papa hooked on them. You need to exercise a lot though, so you build muscle and not fat.”

“I know. He had dad buy me a jump rope and I’m doing a zillion of those every day.”

“That’s great exercise. How’s Mom?”

“She’s fine. Still has all those charity meetings all the time. Mom told Dad you and I talked last week during dinner. Afterward, I heard them arguing, and she just kept saying he had agreed to the deal. You know what she was talking about?”

“I’m not sure of all the details but I know they agreed you and I could stay in touch.”

“Why would that be a problem?”

“Who knows bro, grownups are weird.”

“I know. The two of them seem to be arguing all the time and a lot of it's over money. Dad’s always complaining about how much Mom spends.”

“You stay out of their way whenever it happens, buddy. Just go to your room and read or listen to music. It’s their problem, not yours.”

“I know, but they’re so loud. Oh, gotta go, Grandma's got dinner ready. Bye, CJ.”

“Bye, Ritchie. I’ll email you this week.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is all my fault. But if Rich lays one finger on my brother I swear I’ll kill him.

 

The remaining invitees arrived minutes apart from each other; after introductions all around, César began pouring cocktails. Brett gave a house tour to the first-time visitors while Landon and CJ scurried up to the second floor.

“This is quite an art collection you and your partner have here, Captain,” said Mrs. Edwards as they entered the master suite on the top floor of the townhouse. “The Britto hanging above your bed is superb. Not many individuals can boast of having an original oil by Romero in their homes.”

“Thank you, ma’am. That piece was a housewarming present from César’s parents when we moved here. They’ve known the artist from his early days in Miami after he moved there from Brazil.”

“Tell me about the exquisite metal sculpture on the table by the window.”

“That one is called Warrior and is by Randy Barney, also a Miami artist. César acquired it at a charity auction years ago.”

“Edward! Where are you? I’m sure his eyes glazed over as soon as we began discussing art.” The Colonel had been exploring the bathroom area on his own while Martha inspected the artwork. Brett provided comments on each piece while Chatri and his girlfriend Helen just stared at the entire space in awe. Chatri had seen the room before but hadn’t paid much attention to it.

“Captain, that shower enclosure is so large it could fit half a dozen people.” The Colonel had been inspecting a series of controls on the wall outside the glass enclosure with the multiple showerheads. “Is it also a steam room?”

“Yes, Sir, it is. That is the reason for the floor-to-ceiling glass front. And the most it’s ever held is three. The kid joined us for a steam one time after a Sunday morning run but ran out after five minutes complaining about the heat. He didn’t even bother to dry off, his running shorts dripped water all the way down to his bathroom.”

When the group returned to the second floor they were greeted by the sound of explosions and shouting. The former came from a large television screen mounted on the wall while the latter came from the two teenagers sprawled on the bed with game controllers in their hands. Pausing the game momentarily, the two boys waved at the adults standing at the door before returning their attention to the battle on the screen.

“We never envisioned having a teenager living with us full time when we gutted this old house and had the interiors rebuilt. I can just imagine the noise once he starts school, makes friends and they have sleepovers.” Brett said as they all backed away from CJ’s room and he directed the visitors towards the room at the front of the house. “This is our remaining guest room now that CJ has taken over the other one. They're mirror images of each other and having both closets back up to each other in the middle was the idea of the architect, I’m happy we did it since it will provide some soundproofing from a noisy teen if we have friends or family staying here.”

“I noticed your son’s room has artwork on the walls instead of posters as most boys his age would have. Did he just keep items you already have there?” This was the first time Helen had spoken since they began walking through the house. She was a pretty girl with dirty blonde hair and light brown eyes, the color of caramel. Those eyes had been wide open from the moment she entered the elegant townhouse, absorbing the sight of so many wonderful items and the beauty of the home.

“No, Helen, CJ made us remove what was hanging on the walls previously and selected what he wanted in his room. The two David Hockney’s originally hung in the hallway but he had fallen in love with them the first time he visited us a few summers ago. They were part of my parents’ collection I inherited when they died.”

The evening’s chef had prepared a simple meal: Arroz con Pollo, sliced tomatoes and sweet onions, boiled ripe plantains, and Cuban bread, which Brett had picked up at a Cuban bakery in Arlington. Dessert was homemade flan and the Colonel had seconds, his wife complaining about his sweet tooth and his weight. Both the food and the wine received high praise and everyone seemed to enjoy the meal.

The two ladies were at the center of every conversation. Towards the end of the evening, they exchanged contact information and planned on meeting sometime in the coming week. Martha promised to take Helen shopping and to take time to clue the newcomer in about all things Washington. Aware of what type of school CJ attended in Miami, Mrs. Edwards assumed the boy would be attending either Gonzaga or St. Albans, two of the top boys’ prep schools in the District, despite her previous pitch to the teen about School Without Walls. When told by César the choice of school was CJ’s decision and the boy did not want to be at a private school preferring a public one, she once again went into her sales pitch and extracted a promise from the boy to visit her at Walls within the next couple of weeks.

Helen turned out to be not only pretty and extremely smart. The guys were going to hook her up with Doc so he could help with the job search and Brett promised to call her about some places he knew were reasonable to rent by the young couple. They planned on getting their own place as soon as they found something they could afford. She had no way of knowing the properties would be amongst those owned by the marine and his partner or that they would not be paying market rate. César and Brett liked the couple and wanted to help them out in a discreet way, this was another of their frequent acts of random kindness.

 

“Hey, guys, are you sharing a room or should I check the guest room to make sure it’s okay?” Brett asked, causing both boys to blush brightly. Landon had been invited to spend the night since they planned on further explorations of the National Mall the next day.

“Papa!”

“What? It’s a fair question. We have no issues with you having an overnight guest, we already had this conversation. I’ll remind you once again, your Dad and I were teenagers ourselves not so long ago.”

“Fine,” muttered CJ. “No need for the guest room. Night.” Both boys ran up the stairs while the adults looked at them and chuckled.

 

“I think you were very lucky to meet and befriend CJ, Chatri.” They were holding hands while they walked home after the wonderful evening.

“Why do you say that, babe?”

“I think he’s a smart, wonderful kid and his dads are the most real people I’ve met in a long time. You could feel how much they cared about their guests and how much they love their son. Oh, and they went out of their way to make Landon feel welcome. He was very subdued at first but by the end of the night he was cracking jokes with César.”

“Yeah, you’re right―those three are special. I loved the crowd around the table: African Americans, Hispanics, and an Amerasian, gay male couples and straight ones, teenagers and middle-aged individuals made for an eclectic group.”

“I think we’re going to enjoy making Washington our home. It felt kinda scary at first, but my fears are quickly disappearing. Less than forty-eight hours after my arrival, I have new start-up friendships with a wonderful group of people whom I think we’ll be great to spend time with.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, babe. Now let’s hurry home, we have the apartment to ourselves tonight.”

 

“That was a great evening, Jarhead. Good food and good people.”

“You think they’re gonna fuck?”

“WHAT?”

“CJ and Landon. Do you think they’re going to fuck?”

“I can’t believe you asked that. Didn’t we just get on our boy’s case for asking the same thing about us?”

“Yeah, but we’re grownups and we’re his dads, so we’re allowed to ask.”

“The grownup part is open to discussion. Look, Brett, we have a smart and very mature son, we’ve had several conversations with him about sex and what we think is best, we’ve stocked his nightstand with condoms and lube. Not much else we can do unless you want to be a hypocrite.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I may still have nightmares about it! Goodnight, César; I love you.”

“Love you too, Jarhead.”

Lucky 13! Let me know what you thought of the chapter.
Copyright © 2015 Carlos Hazday; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Story Discussion Topic

Welcome to the discussion thread for CJ’s series. All things CJ are fair game, I simply ask you be respectful of others. I will actively participate in the discussion. Ask questions, speculate about what’s coming, or bitch about what happened. We’re now open for business!    
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Chapter Comments



On 02/23/2015 04:30 AM, Terry P said:
What happened to Chapters 10, 11 and 12. It seems we're missing something in this story?
Screw up. 13 was not supposed to post yet!
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On 03/20/2015 08:37 PM, Bucket1 said:
Well that was a packed chapter. So much squeezed into a lunch and a dinner. I'm guessing the nights activities will keep poor Papa fretting :P

I bet Monty is a happy lad :gikkle:

Very nice setup for the next chapter. And presumably you have left hints and clues to future chapters. But all in all we got a good glimpse into the people that Cesar and Brett are.

Bring on 14

If you're asking for 14 I guess that means you liked 13 :D

 

You're one of my sharpest readers when it comes to this story. I'm not as bad as you make me out to be, but nothing is set in stone until the fat lady sings. (mixing metaphors is fun!)

 

No matter how open parents may be about their kids sexuality, and gay parents I think are more so than most straight ones, I think they'd be scared when they realize it's probably happening.

 

Cesar and Brett have laid the groundwork for respect and responsibility now all they can do is hope!

 

And they way Monty looks, I'd do my best to make him happy too! :rofl:

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On 03/20/2015 10:49 PM, EagleIsaac said:
Seems to be trouble brewing in Miami. Hopefully Ritchie won't get caught in the middle of his parents' fight, but those two are selfish and self serving so I can see them dragging the kid into it if they think it will help them.

 

So CJ is having a "sleepover"? It looks like Brett is going to be the more over protective of the two dads and there may be some questions/grilling in the morning. :P

LMFAO

 

Miami's going to be interesting, CJ will be there at the end of November...

 

I think Cesar is a bit more 'rational' than Brett a lot of the time. Damn CPAs and their logical minds. The question is whether CJ will lose his cherry or not.

 

Now you have me wondering about Brett and Cesar and their first time. Maybe I'll have to get them liquored up so they can tell me about who, when, and where! :D

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On 03/21/2015 01:44 AM, LitLover said:
Hey I can comment on this chapter now :P

Haha I think poor Brett is going to have a stroke before CJ turns 18, but its cute to watch him fret. :)

I love that CJ is making friends. I know Landon doesn't live in the area, but maybe they can have the Summer together to hang out and get to know each other.

I am actually looking forward to the confrontation with Chip. I want to know what the heck is going on. Chapter 14 please B)

Brett may have problems before then! A good looking horny 15-year-old who doesn't have to hide he's gay can be trouble! :lol:

 

Did the chapter make more sense no? All my chapter build on each other so I know 13 without the previous two had to be confusing.

 

About 14? It's set to post next Friday but I know some people...

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On 03/21/2015 03:35 AM, Timothy M. said:
CJ is not butchered after birth - what a wonderful phrase. :worship:

That means CJ's mom scores a BIG plus in my book, since she made the decision not to have him cut. And she's telling her husband to live up to the deal and let the brothers keep in touch.

I have trust in CJ - he'll start up with something easier than anal sex. But probably progress fast if they enjoy fooling around.

Unless it's done for religious reasons or a REAL medical need it's butchering in my opinion. The US is slowly admitting that and CJ was born at a time where the automatic snip after birth was in decline (A doctor got sued for snipping without asking!)

 

Maybe Brett was projecting based on his own experience? Hmmm another reason to think about a flashback scene...

 

Chapter 14 will answer the question in everyone's mind. Did he or did he not? :D

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On 03/21/2015 05:07 AM, dughlas said:
Just gonna say that I find this story thoroughly entertaining. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Thanks, buddy!

 

Glad you're enjoying it. It's really a lot of fun to write. Even whan I have to research details so I don't screw up references or when I have to balance conversation between a handful of characters.

 

I hope you stick around, I think the story gets a bit better with each chapter.

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Just now finding this (system didn't send me a notice, and I missed it when ya posted it!).

Nicely done....enjoying the character; your description of the memorials is both realistic and moving (and yeah, they grab your heart in real life just like you describe); the conversation flows well.

Really interested in where you're taking this story--it's an enjoyable ride!

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On 03/21/2015 08:34 AM, Robert Rex said:
Just now finding this (system didn't send me a notice, and I missed it when ya posted it!).

Nicely done....enjoying the character; your description of the memorials is both realistic and moving (and yeah, they grab your heart in real life just like you describe); the conversation flows well.

Really interested in where you're taking this story--it's an enjoyable ride!

My previous screw-up publishing and then unpublising this chapter caused the hiccup. My fault, not the system's.

 

My initial tour of the war memorial was a long, boring narration. I re wrote it about four times and brought it down to a realistic size. Then, my wonderful editor insisted I use dialogue, make it interactive and thanks to him the end product was much better.

 

I'm taking this story, where no man has gone before-oh, no, wait. The next couple of chapters will start to make some things clearer. I think :rofl:

 

Nah, I want to develop CJ a bit more over the next 2 or 3 chapters and show what kind of man he is. Everything else will slowly fall into place.

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On 03/22/2015 12:30 AM, Jaro_423 said:
As Helen commented: such an eclectic bunch of folk at the dìnner. Am reminded of a line from a poem describing the folk at a pub - "a lovely load of human litter". I love it and it seems Rodo is the same. How delightful! CJ is receiving a wonderfully broad education regardless of the school he attends.
So damn glad you picked up on that line! I've been lucky in my life to be surrounded by people from many nations, different races and different beliefs. That experience has made me a better man.

 

One of the reasons I placed the story in DC was because the diversity there would a great background for the story. I've tried to reflect that in his dads' group of friends.

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On 07/13/2015 02:26 PM, AceKebabs said:

**raises hand** I enjoyed it! :P

You get a gold star for class participation! :rofl:

 

Next couple of chapters pick up the pace of the story a bit...

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@Dmrman

 

I don't take my self too seriously and treat my writing the same. It's not meant to be high literature but an enjoyable way for readers to pass some time so humor is very important. Even when I eventually deal with some very serious issues, there'll be a few laughs thrown in for good measure.

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