Rivers of the Dead - 23. 3-2 - You Think You Know

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Ethan had stopped visiting Liz and Jake. He didn't want to see either of them ever again, not until he'd succeeded at bringing Caleb back, anyway. They didn't understand anymore. They didn't live in his world, they lived in the world of the living, a world Ethan felt he had transcended long ago.

He spent a month outside the city cemetery, watching the patterns of those who worked in and around the place. He paid careful attention to the movements of law enforcement in the area, using a couple of spells he'd learned from Jake to make himself seem more inconspicuous.

After he was sure he'd found a window of time that he wouldn't be disturbed, shortly before dusk when the caretaker of the cemetery went home for the evening, Ethan sneaked into the cemetery, shovel in hand. He knew that, somewhere in the rearrangement of history after Caleb switched places with him, a grave marker with Caleb's name had been inserted into the graveyard. What Ethan had been surprised to learn was that it rested in the same spot where his own body had once been interred.

Ethan felt a strange sense of romance, thinking that he had lain where Caleb now rested, as if it connected them in yet another mystical way, adding an extra layer of nuance to their already complicated existence together. Hopefully, Ethan mused, within the next few days, neither Ethan nor Caleb would have to worry about laying there again for a long time to come.

He spied a familiar form standing atop a nearby hill and slowed his approach. A flick of a lighter illuminated Jake's face as he lit the joint hanging between his lips. Ethan stopped at the base of the hill, shovel in hand, staring up at his former friend. "What are you doing here, Jake?" Ethan called.

Jake nodded upward in acknowledgement, and blew out a large cloud of pot-infused smoke. He bent down and picked up a 4-compartment cup holder with two occupied slots. "I've been tracking you through a scrying pool I made out of a kiddie pool a while back, waiting to see when you came to dig up Caleb's body," Jake said as he descended the hill. "I thought you might want some coffee if you're going to be staying up all night digging a hole."

At the bottom of the hill, Jake pulled one of the white cups from the holder and handed it to Ethan, taking the other one for himself, dropping the cup holder to the ground. Ethan looked at the cup, then took a sip. It was sweet, but strong, just the way he liked it. He took a second sip then gestured with the cup, asking, "You're not going to try and stop me?"

"And let you do to me what you did to Liz?" Jake asked, shaking his head firmly. "Hardly." He laughed and added, "I did consider calling the cops, though, but I realized that would be a bad idea."

Ethan rolled his eyes, taking another sip of coffee. After swallowing it, he asked, "You, of all people, almost called the cops on me?"

"Yeah, but I realized you weren't going to be dissuaded, and even if I'm not too fond of local law enforcement, it's not like I want them dead." Jake sighed and shrugged. "I admit, I'm a bit afraid of you. Lately you've been, uh, shit . . . unpredictable?"

"You should be afraid," Ethan said. He took another sip and then put his back to Jake, walking toward the grave. He stopped, planting the shovel in the ground and placing the coffee in the grass next to it. When he straightened, he crossed his arms over his chest and asked, "Why are you really here?"

Jake took another long drag on his joint before answering. "Because, even though I'm afraid, I have to let you know . . ." He paused to meet Ethan's eyes. "There's a lot of pain coming your way if you continue down this road. Not from me, not from Liz, and not from anyone else but you."

Ethan let out an exasperated sigh. "Why can't you just let me do this in peace?"

"My old man, he was the real deal, like you," Jake said. He took another drag. "He had a knack for magic like few have ever had. He could think and it would be done. That didn't protect him from being stupid one day and getting shot. The thing about death, it's going to happen either way. You can't live forever, and no one should."

"Eternal youth," Ethan said. "Why'd you take it?"

"Because I was young and stupid. Shit, dude, I'm still young and stupid," Jake laughed, but the laughter quickly faded to coughing on pot-smoke. He took another drag anyway, and after he released it, he continued. "Liz makes me want to be smarter though. Did you know she convinced me to enroll in college? I'm starting in the spring semester next year . . ." He shook his head with wonder. "Shit, dude, I'm a thirty-year-old druggie who dropped out of high school fifteen years ago, and then again seven years ago, and then again four years ago. I keep going back, but I hate school, and yet, now I'm finally going to college. It's the first time I've gone to college, man . . ." He took another drag and then dropped the joint to the ground, crushing it beneath his heel. "It's my first time, and I'm fucking terrified, you know?"

Ethan sighed. If Jake's plan was to distract him from digging up the grave by talking all night, he was about to find out just how impatient Ethan was. "Why'd you take eternal youth, Jake?" He asked.

"You think you know what life is, you think it's so simple," Jake replied. Ethan realized Jake was referring to both of them in that statement and listened intently. "It's all just give and take, the natural order of things, survival of the fittest. Who wouldn't want to be young forever, right? But then you realize that everyone else is aging and you can't relate. Everyone else is growing up, and you're just an old man in a young man's body, and you think you somehow have a handle on the world because of it." Jake shook his head, then met Ethan's eyes, and he seemed more lucid than he ever had before. "But you don't know, and you don't have a handle on it."

"I don't, huh?" Ethan asked. "What makes you think you and I are the same?"

Jake smirked. "Come on, I'll help you dig," he said. "I brought an extra shovel, but I left it up by the tree. Give me a sec."

Ethan raised an eyebrow and asked, "What makes you think I'll accept your help?"

"Because it sucks to dig a hole all by yourself, especially when you'll have to fill it right back up," Jake replied, grinning. "I've dug enough holes in my life to know." He walked away without waiting for another word from Ethan.

Ethan shrugged to himself and picked up the coffee, taking another sip before moving it out of the way, then picked up the shovel and started to dig at the grave. He only managed to move a few shovelfuls of tough sod before Jake came down the hill and planted a shovel in the dirt.

They dug together in silence, moving at an almost feverish pace. The great thing about the eternal youth both had gained was that their bodies could endure a great deal more exertion than other's could. They were in their prime, and with a little nudge from caffeine, they managed to get down to the top of the coffin in no time at all.

Ethan's shovel scraped against the wood, and he looked up at the sound, seeing Jake standing over his shovel, watching him expectantly. Ethan bent down and removed a couple more shovelfuls of dirt before turning to look at Jake again. Jake remained unmoving.

"Do you want to know what really pisses me off?" Ethan asked.

"Sure," Jake replied immediately.

"It pisses me off that Liz has moved on," Ethan says. "It's like she's forgotten Caleb."

Jake shook his head and moved a few shovelfuls of dirt away from the top of the coffin, then started digging at the side to free up the lid. "No. She hasn't. In fact—"

"What?" Ethan snapped. "What can you possibly tell me that—"

"Let me finish, dude," Jake said, holding up his hand. He dug around the lid some more as he talked. "I promised I wouldn't say anything, but . . . she's pregnant, Ethan. We're going to have a baby."

This immediately stopped Ethan from digging, earning his full attention. "Holy shit, why didn't she say anything?"

"She wanted to, but she didn't want to . . ." Jake sighed and looked at Ethan. Ethan saw the anger in Jake's eyes, but he also saw empathy, and he hung his head in shame. Jake had every right to be angry, after what Ethan had done to Liz, but despite that, here was Jake, helping him dig the hole his girlfriend had been against digging. "She didn't want to pull you away from what was important to you. She cares about you, more than you may ever realize."

"But . . ." Ethan punched the dirt wall in front of him. "Fuck, I feel like such an asshole. I threw her against the wall. Is the baby all right?" he risked a look up to Jake, who seemed pleased by this question.

"Yeah," Jake said softly. "He's doing fine."

"He?" Ethan asked. "It'll be a boy then?"

"Yeah," Jake laughed. He wiggled his eyebrows and added, "We're more certain than the doctors are. Did a little divination."

"And?"

"We're going to name him Caleb," Jake said gently.

Ethan bit his lip uncertainly. "Why?"

"Because moving on doesn't mean forgetting," Jake replied. "It just means things are different, because that's what life is."

Ethan looked away, tears threatening to escape his eyes. He hadn't cried in months, it seemed. He'd been too angry to, too obsessed. But Jake was trying to put Ethan in touch with his humanity, to make him feel something other than his obsession. Ethan couldn't allow that, and so he distracted Jake the best way he knew how. "She doesn't know you're here, does she?"

"How'd you figure that out?" Jake asked, smirking.

"Because once she let me go, she moved on," Ethan replied. "You should, too."

Jake stared at Ethan for a long time, so long it seemed the world stopped to witness it. And then he nodded, smiling sadly. He put a hand on Ethan's shoulder and clasped it gently, then threw his shovel out of the hole. He climbed out after it, and Ethan returned his attention to the coffin.

Opening it proved to be more difficult than he expected, but he finally managed to find the leverage just as Jake picked up his shovel and turned to go. Before Jake had even taken a step, he stopped as Ethan said, "Fuck."

"What?"

Ethan peered down into a completely unused coffin, his eyes misting over completely as tears streamed down his face. He wiped his face with the back of his sleeve. "It's empty," he whispered. "The goddamn thing is empty."

"Ethan?" Jake said.

"Yes?" Ethan sniffled.

"I know you're going to go forward anyway, so let me save you some trouble."

Ethan looked up at Jake, despite meaning showing his emotional state. "What do you know?"

"From what I understand, Liz summoned Orpheus, right?" Jake asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm a bit rusty on my Greek, but I believe Orpheus walked physically into The Underworld. Caleb probably did, too. Finding his body is going to be a dead end."

Ethan snorted derisively and closed the lid of the coffin with a resounding thud. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Ethan. I mean it," Jake said. Ethan looked up and saw that he did indeed mean it. There was nothing but sincerity in Jake's eyes. "You need to look elsewhere, bro." He nodded when Ethan remained silent, and then turned to go.

"Jake?" Ethan called after him.

Jake turned back once more. "Yeah?"

Ethan smiled sincerely for the first time in months and nodded. "Thanks."

Jake laughed awkwardly and said, "You know, maybe I'm going to be a lowlife forever, but I have hope for the future."

"You're going to have a kid. I think that comes with the territory," Ethan replied.

"Yeah, and you know what?" Jake asked. "Liz chose his middle name, too." He paused for effect and then said, "Caleb Ethan Sanders." Ethan looked away, not wanting Jake to see how the name affected him. "She loves you, Ethan. I hope, even as you continue to distance yourself from us, you'll see that."

"You're not as tough as you think," Ethan said, forcing his voice to remain steady. "You're getting soft, family man."

"No," Jake confirmed. "Never was as tough as I thought I was. We never are." He turned to go again, but once more Ethan stopped him.

"Aren't you going to stay and help me fill in the hole?" Ethan asked.

"No," Jake replied. "But I think it'll do you some good to do it the manual way. You should get home and warm after that, though. It's getting cold."

"Goodnight, Jake," Ethan said, nodding his appreciation once more.

Jake inclined his head in response. "G'night, Ethan."

And then he was gone, and shovelful by shovelful Ethan covered the grave once more.

Don't forget to comment and react to this chapter! Also, special thanks to my Patreon Supporters: Michael, Bill, Charles, Amr, Don, James, Joe, Jos, Mark, Mark, Paul, Steve, John, Frank, Sam, Matthieu, and Ben. Couldn't have done it without them. Email me at Samuel.D.Roe@gmail.com to be put on my mailing list!