The English Year - 44. First

In relationships, there is a first for everything. A first date. A first kiss. A first fight. And a first fuck.

As Pete led me into his bedroom, I remember my heart beating a mile a minute as we geared up for the first fuck of our long growing relationship.

After kissing me against the wall for a minute, Pete physically lifted me up as if I weighed five pounds, and threw me onto his bed. I landed on a heap of his clothes, indicating that he hadn’t yet fully prepared his space for the inevitable. But here we were regardless. And I couldn’t have been more ready.

We were supposed to go on a romantic date the following night, our first as a pair officially trying to make our relationship a thing. The first date after our last DTR in which we decided we needed each other. We were intertwined, and while we’d been fighting it back and forth for six months, it was time to take the plunge.

But fate had other plans. And so I landed on his unmade bed, and felt him dive onto me, his lips hitting mine like a ton of bricks, and his body melding onto mine like we belonged. There wouldn’t be a date first. There would just be this first fuck. Who cared what followed?

It was perfect. He felt perfect. For the first time in my life, I felt like everything was perfect.

There wasn’t Chip and his social machinations looming. There wasn’t my impending feud with one of my closest friends and his senior allies. There wasn’t drama with my little who was disappointed in me for the time being. There wasn’t a VMI cadet stuck in lockdown because of the choices I’d made. There were none of those things. There was only this perfect moment with the perfect man perfectly aligned on top of me.

As soon as his body landed on me, I felt his hardness brush up against mine. I strained in my pants as I felt him glide back and forth against me, creating a friction that was so erotic, if I hadn’t been listening to the sound of his ceiling fan and concentrating on my breath against his, I would have shot my load right away.

For a conservative Brit, the speed and veracity of his grinding surprised me. I bit down on his tongue lightly, and dug one hand into the skin on his back, and pulled his hair with my other. His hands roamed my body like he was desperately looking for something.

I matched his grinding with my own upward motion, not wanting to separate from him for even a second.

But separate we did. After a while, Pete stood up and pulled me to the edge of his bed. He undid my belt, then my button and zipper. In the sexiest thing I’d ever seen, he pulled my shoes and pants off and threw them over his shoulder with a thud. I smiled up at him with nothing but sheer lust while he undid his own pants. He pulled his slacks and underwear off in one fell swoop and kicked them to the side. Watching him pull his wife beater over his head made me involuntarily lick my lips.

Through all of the guys I'd been with, especially those I’d used as place holders since I met Pete, I don’t remember ever wanting anyone more. I remember biting my bottom lip as he slid his body back onto mine, this time our skin touching, inch for inch.

Again, he ground into me for what felt like an eternity. His cock was so hard, and I felt the warm stickiness of his pre-cum rub against my own. I reached down to pull on his dick, eliciting a big moan. He bit down on my tongue ever so slightly, causing me to gyrate with the horniness of a teenage boy discovering sex for the first time.

“I want you to fuck me,” I cooed, running my fingers through his hair.

“Yeah?” he panted.

“Yes,” I almost begged. “I want you inside me.”

It felt like the right thing to say. We could have laid like that forever, kissing for eternity, feeling each other for the rest of our lives. But I wanted more. I wanted Pete.

He rose again, this time taking a second to light two candles, one on his dresser and one on his end table. He flicked off his lights, and turned to give me a wicked smile, made infinitely sexier by the dim glow and shadows.

I looked Pete up and down, and admired every nook and cranny of the body I had admired so many times before. Seeing it in all its glory was almost more than I could take. His legs were muscular from years of rowing. His arms were strong, but not overly big. His torso was tight if not overly chiseled. He didn’t have abs, but he did have that distinctive V that forms at the base of a pelvis that is accustomed to working out. His back and shoulder muscles belonged in a men’s magazine, I decided. As he turned, rummaging through his dresser drawer for a condom and lube, I noticed how sexy his ass actually was. Tight and high, perfectly formed to his perfect body.

He turned, pulled the condom over his rock hard uncut cock which poked out from his body in the perfect length, resting on two medium sized balls that were already drawing up close to his body. His cock wasn’t the longest or girthiest I’d ever seen. It curved upwards and to the left just slightly. In its current form, it seemed harder than I could have ever imagined, and it looked perfect. I knew I was breathing heavily, as was he. I wondered if he could believe this was finally happening, as I was. I didn’t care. I wanted him to hurry and pull that condom on, so I could feel him on top of me again.

It felt like it took forever, but eventually, I felt his left arm rest against my right side, and his right arm slowly drew my leg up. I knew the position, pulling my leg over his shoulder. I felt a finger on my ass, and then a cool gel being massaged into me. I took a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded. He smiled down at me.

“Let me know what you need.”

It was the kind of rare safety that you don’t always feel with guys. His eyes told me he meant it. This was for us, but he was here for me. My pleasure. My comfort.

I scooted forward an inch and immediately felt his hardness against my hole. I was ready for him, waiting for him. Eager for him.

“Push it in,” I whispered. I knew my eyes were begging for it, and so I whispered exactly what I wanted. Pete leaned in, pushed forward, and as his torso pulled closer to me, his face an inch from mine, I felt him enter my ass as if it belonged to him.

I let out a deep uncontrollable moan. I pulled his head even closer to mine, resting against my side. I licked his ear, bit down slightly, and felt him continue the assault.

It felt like it took a minute for him to bottom out, and when he did, when I felt his pubes and balls against my ass, I couldn’t help myself.

“Oh god,” I cried out. “Oh my fucking god.”

I heard Pete pant like a tired dog right next to my ear. I dug my fingers deeper into his back, deeper into his hair. I pulled him in closer, as close as two people can possibly be.

He pulled out, his body leaving mine for a brief second. I say brief because I barely had time to take a breath before he plunged back in, this time in one motion, all the way in.

I felt him find a rhythm as we both moaned into each other. I pulled him into a kiss, feeling him slide in and out of me. His cock found my prostate, and unable to control myself, I screamed out.

“Yes! Fuck yes!” I was hardly breathing. I was barely articulate. I was moaning like a bitch in heat, and Pete was barely any quieter.

“Oh god, Corbin. Oh fucking god this feel so good,” he panted. “You feel so fucking good.”

All reservations were off. All pretext. All apprehension. Everything we’d been through was fucked away in that moment.

As his pace increased, Pete rose from my grasp. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He grabbed both my ankles as he stood up off the bed, and pulled me to the very edge. He didn’t once leave my ass as we repositioned. I wouldn’t have let him. I didn’t ever want to feel what it felt to not have him inside of me.

Standing, he held my ankles so that my legs made a wide V. Panting, unable to articulate anything, I told him with nothing but a glance of the eyes that I was ready.

And so was Pete. He drove in forcefully. I bucked my head back and my hips pulled closer to him, until he was buried all the way in. Balls deep. We were as connected as two people can possibly be, and I never wanted us to separate.

“Uhhhh,” he moaned loudly.

It was then that Pete really went to work. I felt every stroke as if it was the first. They got faster, harder and impossibly more pleasurable as he stroked my ass with his rock hard cock. In and out like a professional. A lover. I closed my eyes and enjoyed myself as if it was the first time I’d ever been fucked.

I felt my orgasm rise after a few minutes of the constant berating against my prostate. I felt like my g-spot was on actual fire as Pete fucked me, showing no signs of relenting. I arched my back, feeling every single nerve ending in my body attempt to explode.

Pete drove in, and instead of pulling out like the piston he had been, he released my legs and collapsed on top of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him in impossibly close. Impossibly deep.

“Are you ready, killer?” he asked between labored breaths. “Are you ready for us to cum?”

I couldn’t formulate words. Just a moan, an ‘uh huh’ and a nod, to tell him that I was ready.

“I want us to cum together.”

It wasn’t a suggestion. It was a command. Pete’s breathing matched mine, his chest against mine. I felt every gyration of his cock, buried deep, as he whispered in my ear.

“Tell me you’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” I shouted. My cock pulsed between our torsos. “I’m fucking ready.”

Pete heard that and grunted.

“Let’s go,” he shouted in my ear. “Fuck!”

Another thrust. One more grunt, and I felt his cock expand and contract deep inside of me. It pulled me so far over the edge, I shot what felt like an entire gallon of cum between our two bodies. As we moved together, the cum cemented between us, sticking us together.

I couldn’t catch my breath. Pete released us, pulled himself off me, and collapsed at my side, pulling my face around for a deep sweaty kiss.

We were spent, the both of us. I can’t speak for Pete, but it took me forever to gain any sort of mental cognizance as we lay there panting, cuddling, kissing.

As I gained consciousness, I reveled in what had just happened. What was currently happening. Pete and I were making love. For the first time.

Without bothering to clean up, Pete pulled a sheet over us, and pulled in close to me, his big spoon to my little. I snuggled in close to him, finally able to breathe. I could have passed out right then with his arm around me, his body pressed up on me, his cock finding its home for the night right on my back.

“Mmmm that felt amazing,” I cooed.

“Yeah, we’ll definitely be doing that again.”

I laughed.

“Fuck a first date,” Pete laughed in my ear. I cracked a smile as I nuzzled in closer to him. I could have lay like that forever, I thought. Fuck any date.

As the afterglow wore off, and I got used to Pete’s breathing, his touch and body around me, the dimness of the room, his scent mixed in with the warm vanilla from the candle’s he’d lit, I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering.

It was here. The moment I’d waited on since I met him all those months ago in Amanda’s kitchen. And as my mind involuntarily wandered, something I’d been thinking since the moment Pete penetrated my ass, crept in.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked. I felt Pete yawn into my ear.

“Sure.”

“That wasn’t… that wasn’t your first time.”

It wasn’t a question, and I knew that. It wasn’t an accusation, at least how I meant it. It was a soft inquiry. An observation.

“You didn’t think I was a virgin, did you?” he asked, his voice low and measured. It was me he was talking to, after all, and I was sure he was tempering his tone because he had no idea where my line of questioning was going.

“No, no, not at all,” I answered quickly. “I just meant with a guy. That couldn’t have been your first time having sex with another guy.”

I felt Pete shift behind me, creating a bit of space between us. I used the gulf he’d created to shift my entire body around and face him.

“Corbin, what are you asking me exactly?”

“I guess I just… that was amazing,” I replied. “Better than I imagined when I, you know, imagined what it would be like.”

“Okay.”

“And I just assumed when it took you so long to… decide,” I chose my words wisely. “I assumed it was because this would be new to you.”

I chose my words carefully, and watched them penetrate, and Pete’s understanding of what I was asking etched across his face. I watched him read my insecurities like a book. And I watched him decide exactly how he was going to answer.

“I went to boarding school, Corbin,” he answered finally. “Everything you’ve ever heard about boarding school is pretty much true. I’ve done stuff like this before.”

It was a cold rush, realizing that the rejection I’d felt for half a year went deeper than Pete simply not being as gay as I thought, or as comfortable in that side of his sexuality as I thought. I’d spent so much time thinking it was him. That I needed to convince him. That in order to get to where we were, I needed to change him.

It was a dagger realizing that wasn’t the case. He’d been intimate with guys before. Made love to guys before. And his hesitation to do something with me was because of me, not him. That pinched, if it didn’t outright hurt.

“Corbin-”

“Anyone here?” I asked, my voice more aggressive than I intended, my gaze more penetrative. He knew I wanted more of an answer than a simple ‘boarding school, it’s what guys do.’ I wanted to know why it took so long if crossing swords with his mates back home was something he’d been comfortable with then.

“Here as in?”

“In Clifton Hill?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“I’m just curious,” I answered.

“Bull shit.”

“I’m just… I’m trying to understand why.”

“Why what?”

“Why it took us so long to do this,” I replied honestly. “Seriously Pete. I’ve known I’ve wanted this since last September, and we’re barely here. And I assumed it had something to do with your sexuality, and now I’m thinking it has everything to do with me. Like it took this long because, I don’t know… I didn’t seem good enough until now.”

Pete took a deep breath, kissed me on the lips for a second, and then pulled back with a smirk. He looked me deep in the eye, and kissed my forehead reassuringly.

“Killer, I messed around with some mates in boarding school. I never fell for any one of them. I didn’t think it was possible to fall for a guy until I started falling for you. It was more than being about a wank and a swallow with you. This is way more than that.”

I let the words wash over me, looking Pete in the eye and believing everything he said. Maybe this was different. Maybe I had to trust him. Maybe I wasn’t the first, I’d be stupid to think that, but maybe there was a different first that I’d tapped into for him.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked when I didn’t respond to what he’d just said.

“Sure,” I replied. “Go ahead.”

“What was your first time like?”

I leaned my head back and chuckled.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” I smirked.

“Fair enough,” he replied. “Maybe we can save that conversation for the next time.”

I smiled as he leaned in for another kiss.

“Don’t Corbin this situation,” Pete whispered as I relaxed into his arms, allowing myself to feel comfort in him.

“Huh?”

“Don’t overthink it. Don’t question it. I love you,” he said softly. “Don’t Corbin your way out of this.”

At that moment, I wanted to feel offended by that. I wanted to question it. I wanted to challenge what he’d said. But instead, I took his advice, put my head as deep into his nook as it would go, and I went to sleep next to the English man I’d been trying to sleep with all year long.

I was on a complete cloud nine the next day. When I woke up, Pete and I showered together in the shower he shared with his suitemate, trying our damndest not to make too much noise, but failing miserably. We washed each other’s backs, and before we left the stream of the water, Pete deposited a load of his cum so deep inside of me, I knew I’d feel it for the rest of the day.

We got dressed, me borrowing one of his rowing sweatshirts, and walked down to campus together.

“I’ll see you tonight?” he asked when we parted ways at the business school entrance.

“See you tonight,” I responded. “I wouldn’t miss our first official date for anything in the world.”

I wanted to lean in for a kiss, but thought better of it in the moment. Things were new. Pete wasn’t out, regardless of how our relationship had looked for months. I didn’t want to push too hard. I didn’t want to push at all. This was his pace, and so we said our goodbyes, Pete gave me a side hug, and went in to class.

When I returned to the frat house for lunch, I was met with the usual crew, all of whom were wondering where I’d been all night.

“According to Adam, someone here made it very difficult for him to sleep in this morning,” Brian commented as we made our way through the lunch buffet and took our seats where Hutch, Roberto, and Austin were already seated. Newby and Adam were with them at the end of the table, and I made a conscious effort to avoid eye contact with Pete’s roommate, who surely heard the plethora of moans, yells, and screams for Pete to ‘fuck my ass like he owns it’ coming from their shared bathroom this morning.

“No clue what Adam would be talking about,” I responded, sitting down at the opposite end, and diving into my taco salad. I should have skipped lunch at the frat house, and gone to Srat Lunch instead. If only I wasn’t still on the outs with Amanda, I could have made that call and been eating inside the comfort of Pi Phi, and away from these prying eyes.

“No one believes that,” Austin said. I simply shrugged.

“So it finally happened? I thought you all had that hot date tonight,” Brian said.

“Yeah, what happened to the hot date?” Roberto chimed in.

“Things.. Change,” I answered coyly.

“So you gave it up before he wined and dined you? You slut,” Roberto joked, poking me in the side. Again, I shrugged coyly. I ate my food, hoping the subject would change quickly. I was a fool for thinking that it would. I was the main topic of the afternoon, and my brothers continued their verbal assault.

“Okay, so how was it?”

“Worth the wait?”

“Was it everything you anticipated? And more?”

“It was… it was intense. And amazing,” I replied to their questions slowly.

“From what I could hear, intense is an understatement,” Adam said across the table.

“Well technically you weren’t supposed to hear anything,” I shot back. “So maybe put on some tunes next time. Maybe try that.”

“To be fair, I’m sure Pete has listened to many late nights with you and Tony, so…” Newby came to my defense.

“You’re not wrong,” Adam replied.

“Okay, so tell us everything. Seriously. We’ve been on this journey with you all year. We need to know,” Roberto continued to push. He rested his chin on my shoulder, having finished his lunch.

“Honestly, you guys are worse than Srat Lunch with all of this,” I replied.

“If you tell us, we’ll leave you alone,” Austin added.

I sighed. “Fine.”

As I began to tell them how I’d gone over there in a rush of horniness, unable to wait for our first date, I decided it best to skip the part about that rush being a result of my take down of Chip Wallace. And Chip’s promise to get me on the Executive Council.

Before I had the chance, however, I looked up to see Dominic coming down the stairs into the dining room.

“Hey Corbin, you have a visitor upstairs,” he called out. He sounded annoyed with me for some reason, but in those days Dom was always annoyed with me, so I shook it off.

“Saved by the bell,” I shot up, pushed my chair back, and bound out of the dining room.

“Oh come on!” Brain shouted.

“Someone toss my tray,” I called back as I skipped past Dom, up the stairs, and into the Great Hall to see who was waiting for me. The hall was empty, so I assumed the guest was waiting in my bedroom. I crossed the space in a few steps and made my way up the stairs before I heard Dom’s voice one more time.

“What is a Kappa Sigma doing calling on you during pledgeship?” he asked. I stopped and turned.

“Excuse me?”

“It shows lack of loyalty to be fraternizing with guys in different houses. You know that.”

“I’m not allowed to have friends that aren’t Chi Beta?”

“It’s not that…”

“Then what is it?”

“It sends a question about your loyalty. To the pledges. To the brotherhood.”

I turned around.

“Are you kidding right now?” I took a step towards Dom. “I stayed in line during rush. You expect me not to see anyone from a different house all through pledgeship too? If it were someone from a sorority coming over would that be an issue?”

Dom swallowed, but didn’t respond. I took another step forward.

“Can I give you some friendly advice?” my voice was low and measured, without an ounce of inflection. I knew it cut through like a razor. I leaned in close to the Russian’s ear. “You only have a few months left here. Let’s pick and choose our battles, shall we? This isn’t one, I assure you.”

I turned and walked away.

“Don’t poke the hornet’s nest for no reason, Dom,” I called back as I bounded up the stairs.

From Dom saying it was a Kappa Sig, I knew before I walked into my room that it was Chip waiting for me on the other side. I walked in cautiously and greeted him. He was standing at the window by my bed, holding Mister, who was squirming in his arms as he pet her head. As soon as I walked in, Mister jumped, clawing at Chip’s sleeve as he did, and ran right to me. I picked her up, and held her close to my chest. She relaxed instantly as I walked closer into the bedroom. I stopped short on this side of my couch, a barrier between Chip and I.

“To what do I owe this visit?” I asked, keeping my voice low and soft, but trying my best not to lace it with any aggression or tone that could be adversely perceived.

“I just wanted to chat through what we began to discuss yesterday,” Chip replied, squaring away towards me. “Things are moving rapidly.”

I took a deep breath, thinking about his announcement from the day before that the Executive Council of ODU was looking for two replacement members.

My mind was racing at how I fit into this equation, but I tried my best to stay measured and focused.

“Before you start, I just want to say,” I said after a deep breath. “I’m really really sorry for the things I said last night. I shouldn’t have called you pathetic.”

I let the word linger in the air for a second. Mister leapt off my chest as I folded my arms. He settled in on the couch between Chip and I. Chip looked down at Mister and took a step towards me.

“You have a cute cat,” he replied.

“Chip, I-”

“It’s a cute cat, Corbin. What is his name?”

I looked Chip in the eye and thought I saw a hint of a tear forming in the corner. I swallowed what guilt I could muster, holding eye contact as firmly as I could.

“Her name is Mister.”

Chip raised an eyebrow.

“I know. It’s a long story.”

Chip reached down and pet Mister again. This time my cat didn’t move, but instead buried her head in the cushion and blinked slowly.

“Well she’s beautiful. And thank you for saying that,” Chip paused. “I agree with one thing you said to me. You’re not a force to underestimate, and I did that when I pressured you. So… the Executive Council.”

“The Executive Council,” I replied quickly.

“How much do you know about it?”

“Just what everyone on the student body would know,” I replied. “There are nine members. Chosen by the faculty for two year terms.”

“Kind of,” he cut in. “Everyone is put up for vetting by the person who currently holds their seat. Once you’re nominated by a council member, your name is circulated between the deans of each of the five colleges, the dean of the law school, the deans of students, greek life, alumni affairs, the provost, and the president of the university. Between those people, you are vetted, most times without even knowing it, and eventually a vote is taken. If you fail the vote, your name is removed and someone else is nominated.”

I took a deep breath, and swallowed, pretty sure Chip could see my Adam’s apple dip all the way down into my chest. The idea of Dean Watson seeing my name come across her desk gave me a mini-heart attack, and my mind already moved on to how I could maneuver back into her good graces.

“Here’s the thing. This isn’t a traditional nomination. The guys leaving the council are leaving for behavior, so they aren’t being given the opportunity to nominate. That means it falls to the senior ranking members, of which my pledge brother happens to be one. And it’s in his interest to bring on someone who he can trust, the administration can trust, and isn’t a traditional pick.”

As Chip spoke, I wondered exactly what these other members could have done to get themselves taken off the Council, and furthermore, who they even were. Guys like me weren’t your typical EC pick. They were almost exclusively Big 4 members, or guys with a high public cache. Class presidents, student athletes, legacies of big donors, or just your popular well pedigreed ilk. I wrote for the paper, was on the Fancy Ball committee, and just now included in the IFC, but besides that, I was nothing more than a staple at Srat Lunch and some big mixers, and that was it. I was known to work my way around campus, but we were talking about a next level of influence here. I listened to every word that came out of Chip’s mouth as if he was describing the inaugural ball.

“So here’s why my pledge brother is keen on you after I brought you up,” Chip continued. “The reason these members are leaving the Council is… tricky. And with your connections to one of the major papers on campus, he thinks it would be advantageous to partner with someone who can help land this plane when everything goes public.”

“What exactly would I be helping land?” I asked before thinking about it.

“I’ll tell you eventually, but like I said, this is moving pretty quickly, so I want to get through logistics first, gauge whether or not we can work together on this, and then talk about specifics.”

“Should we sit?” I asked. Chip and I sat on either side of Mister on the couch. I tucked one leg in under the other, put my elbow on the back of the couch, and looked Chip right in the eye as he continued.

“So in exchange for being included in the Council, my brother would like to work very closely with you on how all of this is packaged. It won’t be pretty when the news comes out, but a few strategic op-eds during the process that paints the council, and our house, in a better light will be necessary.”

“Hold on, if I write articles about the situation, and then my name is presented as the replacement, won’t that look shady?”

“That’s something you and your editor will need to work out, Corbin,” Chip said. “But that is the main reason you’re even being considered. I’m just being transparent. You check both boxes. But only if you’re prepared to be the mouthpiece for all of this. However you decide to do it is up to you.”

It was at that point that my mind began racing. All of this seemed so clandestine and insane. In just the two weeks I’d known Chip, I’d gone from being your standard beat gossip with a substantial amount of influence, to being asked to not only join the Executive Council, but to also represent their interest to the media.

The thing about the EC was that there wasn’t a ton known about how they operated. A lot it was done in the shadows, however what was known was intense. There was the Student Faculty Hearing Committee, and those members were voted on every year by the students. They represented the general issues and complaints that came up on campus. Disagreements were usually settled there, and everyone moved on.

The EC handled two very specific topics, and they were notably appointed, not elected. They handled honor violations, or anything that couldn’t be settled within the SFHC. They also handled every single club’s budget and charter.

What I knew from the EC was having to pitch the budget of The Signature to them alongside Alexandria. Even the Fancy Ball committee went before the EC begging for money every year. They decided who got what, and how much. They could squeeze your club off campus if they didn’t like you, or if you rubbed one of them the wrong way. They had ultimate student governance power, were overseen by no one, and even though the how’s were a mystery, the who’s and what’s were put on a pedestal like none other.

I’d figure things out with Alexandria on how to make the council and Kappa Sig come out of this unscathed, I decided in that moment. It was a no brainer. My mind immediately went to a Federalist Paper style anonymous posting. Something I could stay removed from, but also be involved in just enough to reassure Chip and his house. This was the kind of appointment you moved mountains for, and I wasn’t going to let a small conflict of interest get in my way, especially when it was that very interest that the council wanted.

“What’s the timeline for all of this?” I asked.

“The announcement about who is leaving will come out on this Monday,” Chip replied. “Which means when the paper comes out, we would need our first article to… how do I put this? Lube the truth, so to speak. Get ahead of things.”

“This week’s article?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, Crowley,” he replied. “As in I’d need you to get to work on it tonight. You and Alexandria would need to figure out how you want to play this asap. When the story drops, we want to be ahead of it, and I'm sure you guys would like to be ahead of the other publications.”

I didn’t know how to respond.

“Obviously, some members of the council and my house would want to see what you’ve put together before it goes to print.”

Again, my mind raced. Monday. Sunday deadline. Talk to Alexandria as soon as possible. Do a write up. Figure out who to put on the by-line and how.

And then my mind stopped.

The date. Tonight. With Pete.

As my mind circled through ideas, I thought about how I’d pull that off. Would I even be able to? Even if i had time to go to a fancy dinner, and have back breaking mind numbing sex with my new boyfriend, would I be able to concentrate? Would I be able to focus on our budding relationship long enough to cum together? Or would I have one hand on my keyboard already typing away?

“Chip, that’s quick,” I said. “I don’t even know if I could get to Alexandria today.”

“Are you fucking joking right now?” he shifted in his seat. “You’re the one who gave me that big speech yesterday about how you’re Corbin fucking Crowley. Be Corbin Fucking Crowley. Unless I misjudged you from the start.”

He wanted mountains moved, I thought. I could move mountains. I’d have to. I had no choice.

I was already brainstorming, and with that, I was already simultaneously thinking about what to tell my new boyfriend about why I couldn’t go on the romantic first date he’d spent all week planning. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes for an extended blink, and then looked back at Chip.

“Okay,” I said finally. “I’m in.”

“That’s more like it. I was beginning to think you were… pathetic. Is that the word?”

I let out a chuckle with a brief smirk.

“Again, I-” I started.

“I think I’m in love with your cat,” Chip cut me off, petting Mister again. I looked at him as he averted his gaze down to my kitty. I felt another pang of guilt make its way down my chest. I watched Chip compose himself, take a deep breath, and then look at me again.

“Are you going to tell me what truth I need to lube now?” I asked. Chip stood up suddenly without answering.

“Talk to Alexandria about how you want to play this,” he said, looking at the door and not at me. “And let me know when you have a plan so I can give you the details of exactly what happened.”

“It would help me come up with a plan if I knew what I was up against,” I countered.

“Nice try,” Chip responded. He turned to me slowly. “Listen, Corbin. This is a big deal, and you’re being extended a huge opportunity here. I wasn’t lying when I said I saw something different in you when you approached me at the IFC. You and I live our lives differently here, and yesterday aside, I'm still willing to set you up for the most epic year of your life. The IFC, the Executive Council. These are doors most students don’t even dream of. I’m not pathetic for not walking through them myself, remember that. Remember that I’m the one opening them for you.”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t need to. Chip’s final call was as clear as a bell. I regretted what I’d said in that moment, and his ability to make me while rising himself above not only made me feel that much smaller, but also showed me in that moment that I still had a long way to go. He was still privy to levers of power I was just now being exposed to, and that somehow thrilled me, scared me, and excited me about what was to come.

I watched him leave, took a deep breath, and collapsed next to Mister for a brief moment, before I pulled myself up.

It was time to get to work. But I had one thing I needed to do first, and unfortunately I didn’t have time to think about it, go back on it, or question the decision. This was bigger than I’d thought it would be a day ago. What was required was more involved, more intense, and would require more focus and fluidity than I'd anticipated when Chip first mentioned it.

If I was going to take on this new role, if I was going to be a part of the upper most echelon of students on this campus, if I was going to paint my way into heights even I hadn’t considered until that moment, I had to do so without any distractions. I had to do so without worrying about anyone else’s feelings. I had to do so without prioritizing anyone else but myself.

I had to do so without a boyfriend standing by my side.

And so as one side of my mind raced, wondering what Alexandria and I would come up with, I decided to make the call. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I scrolled to Pete's number, and I dialed.

And after 24 hours of being in a committed relationship, I made the decision.

If I was going to do this, I needed to do so without Pete.