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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.

Live, Love, Lose - 40. Chapter 40

He went out for a long stroll.

He needed to try to forget about what had happened earlier, although it was easier said than done.

He was confused more than anything else. Well, this kiss had been like anything he had ever experienced before. Explosive, dizzying, electrifying, wild yet soft and chaste, unsettling yet so familiar…

He still felt light-headed yet unable to bear the overwhelming weight of culpability slowly eating him up. He blinked back the tears that threatened to fall, his gaze fixed on the ground.

He thought about that time he had accidentally wounded Karl. It was true. He hadn’t meant to try to kill himself again, although the circumstances had been against him…. He had only wanted to scar his skin, but with shallow cuts. Not a clever thing to do, yeah he knew that. But it seemed that good sense had already left his brain a long time ago. He sighed several times on his way.

There was something about the Danish boy which he couldn’t grasp, and not understanding got on his nerves against his will.

He…Well…He hadn’t been expected him for him to try to comfort him. But showing so much vulnerability had him clench his jaw.

Should he really let his walls fall? It had never brought anything good in the past.

He felt he couldn’t make any good decisions any longer.

He went back to the Hopkins’s when it got dark. He sighed before he went upstairs and entered the bedroom.

There he was. Looking lost and distressed. He sighed again.

Had it been that awful?

He felt so stupid for doing such a thing.

“I’m sorry…I should have known you weren’t into this… I won’t do it again.”

His cheeks burnt from sudden embarrassment.

There was a long and awkward moment of silence during which Karl barely glanced at him.

“I can understand if you don’t want me to stay. It’s natural.”

He couldn’t bear that heavy silence. He left without taking a last look at him. He hadn’t meant to ruin things that way. He really hadn’t.

What if he hated him now?

As he went back downstairs, Margaret was waiting for him, her eyes reflecting worry.

“Is everything alright, dear?”

He sighed.

“Nothing worse than what has already happened I guess.”

Her look of worry turned into one of sympathy.

George. You can talk to me. You know I will never judge you no matter what. We only want to help you.”

“I know that, Margaret. And I’ll never be thankful enough for it.”

As he finished speaking, he saw his uncle approach his wife.

He sighed again before biting his lower lip, glancing down.

“I’m sorry I caused you so much trouble and worrying. But I’ve learnt my lesson now. I don’t want to be a coward. I should stop bemoaning my fate.”

He could realise many things once he had become aware once again of his environment.

“There are so many men around my age who have been dying at war, and here I am, trying to kill myself while I’m given the chance to live. I still need to work on myself. And even if it’ll take time, I don’t want you to worry any longer.”

“Please, there is no need for you to apologise, George. Besides, parents can’t help worrying even when there is no apparent reason to.”

George tried to smile a bit, although it was clumsy.

“I have to go. I can’t stay any more.”

“Why not? What has happened, George.”

He tried to swallow the knot forming in his throat but was having trouble with it. He couldn’t tell them about this…

“I’ve made a terrible mistake. Done something I shouldn’t have.” He deliberately said the last part in a low tone.

They didn’t say anything, and he thought it definitely wasn’t needed in this context. It seemed they instantly understood. Or maybe he was becoming a bit too paranoid…

“George…” Margaret kept talking, and the silence on his uncle’s part was unsettling. He felt there was buried deep in him a feeling of disappointment he would never unseal. He had seen too many horrors in the great war to show how really felt about some things. “There are no mistakes that are unforgivable. I am sure you can make things up.”

“Thanks Margaret. But I’ll be staying at Paul’s for a while. I need to let some time pass before coming back. But I’ll stay in touch with you.”

Margaret looked sad and disappointed while his uncle looked more like anxious.

He hugged her and she hugged him back with a mother’s warmth.

Then, once they pulled back he stared at his uncle, waiting for him to react. He shifted uncomfortably the weight from one foot to the otheras he couldn’t look away from his burning gaze.

“You know I trust Paul, but please come back as soon as possible. I tend to get quite anxious when you stay away from me for too long.”

George didn’t know how to deal with it. The rush of emotions bubbling in his stomach, his heart pounding a bit too loud in his chest, his eyes becoming watery.

His uncle ended up wrapping his arms around his frail body, but he was too shocked to hug him back.

Could there be anything better and unswerving than a fatherly love?

His heart skipped a beat as he blinked his tears away.

A sweet kiss and display of affection from a certain blue-eyed boy.

“Thank you.”


Hey! :)

So, I've decided to add this chapter at the last minute. It wasn't planned but I felt it was needed after the kiss scene. But I'm afraid it doesn't sound good as I imagined it to be in my head...So I'll leave you judge ;)

Have a good day/night and take care ❤️


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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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Chapter Comments

Ugh……I actually felt sorry for George in this chapter.  I still hate him of course, but dang it I do feel something towards him now lol.

Our sweet Karl….so upset and confused.  I wish he could have appreciated his first kiss.  But, unfortunately he seems to be straight, much to my disappointment.  I hope he can recover and move on and somehow forgive George. 

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“There are so many men around my age who have been dying at war, and here I am, trying to kill myself while I’m given the chance to live. I still need to work on myself. And even if it’ll take time, I don’t want you to worry any longer.”


You helped us better understand George's motivations and reasoning. He needs a break really from Karl.  Karl powerfully interests him and he dreams of Karl showing him affection. George doesn't see that happening and  he doesn't want to hurt Karl. He seems to misinterpreted Karl's attention, but it is not the first time a signal is misintrepretated so he could simply state he was sorry and ask Karl to forgive him again when he  omes back. 

We need a chapter from Karl's perspective to be able to better gauge what might happen next when George returns.  Karl is on uncharted romantic ground.  He seems to sincerely want to help heal George as he promised JoJo. He is offering his friendship.  He did not promise to be anyone's boy friend and he does not even know what that means.

When George returns and talks with Karl they can hopefully redefine their relationship to one of being friendly and not hostile. Without any encouragement from Karl, then George might be friendly but not touchy and maybe even help him out learning English. George wants to work on his mental health and eventually could go back to college to become a doctor . George could volunteer for the military if college is not an option. I expect after Dunkirk Britain will recruit lots more people to help defend the country and fight overseas.

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I am thinking Karl is having some hot flashes after the kiss from George.  If Karl has never been close to anyong other than his family, I can understand how this makes him feel uncomfortable with hiimself.  I still thing that Karl's feelings and the emotions he is experienceing are his hormones that are getting awakened.  George I ahead of Karl in the hormone department, and even he may not understand what he has awakened within Karl. 

When we can get the view from Karl's perspective, we may learn even more about his thoughts of George.  He may even begin to miss George while staying with Paul.  I feel Karl is slowly becoming more in tune with his feelings and what has happened by being kissed by George.  I wonder if Margaret already has an understanding of what is happening with George?  She probably knows him best.  

I am ready to read on and discover more about the two men.. 

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Bravo! You have made me happy with this huge jump in your writing.  This last minute, unplanned chapter was a powerful and needed transition.  I demonstrates your growing ability to allow your characters to write their own story.  That is something only the very best writers have accomplished.  Now I can believe there might be a little hope for Karl and George.  Before, I felt that them becoming a couple was like a fantasy fanfic coupling Tom Riddle with Harry Potter. Yuck.  

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