Live, Love, Lose - 49. Chapter 49

Back to Karl's POV  

Karl woke up with a terrible headache.

He wasn’t sure where he was and what had happened. It took him quite a while to become fully aware of his surroundings. It was dark, but he still could see. He was in a room all alone, lying in bed. He tried to sit up, but his body ached too much at the intense effort; it was unbearable.

He remembered all at once. How he had woken up already once, seen George and what had happened, the bombing in the city centre while he had been out for an errand and how he had found the little girl in the chaos…how he had tried to protect them both but had failed.

He realised George still hadn’t come back to give him news of Rosemary. If he had, he could remember it, right?

It couldn’t mean anything good…

His heart and whole body were hurting, and he knew it wasn’t because of what had happened to him…

No…as long as he hadn’t come back yet, he refused to think about the worst.

There was a loud noise in the distance that caught his attention. It sounded strangely familiar… It seemed that it was coming from the outside. He had to stand up to check it out. He ignored the agonising pain, and how much effort it took him. He did it and made his way toward the window slowly.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

The city was on fire, drawing a sharp contrast with the dark sky.

His whole body started shaking uncontrollably. He knew what it meant. It was happening again.

Instead of remaining frozen in his spot, he crossed the room as fast as he could manage, ignoring his headache and the pain in his limbs once again. He left it and meandered through the deserted corridors. He was desperately trying to find a way out, but couldn’t. This hospital was a real maze.

Next thing he knew, a bomb was exploding near him, behind him to be more precise. It propelled him forward, making him tumble to the ground harshly. He couldn’t stand up. He didn’t have the strength anymore. Even though he knew he was in great danger, this wasn’t enough this time. The shock was too great.

He could hear other bombs exploding nearby but still couldn’t move. He was trembling in both fear and disbelief. Everyone who was present there…they were going to be hurt, some of them probably already were…and there was nothing he could do to prevent this…he started feeling nauseous.

He knew that if he didn’t stand up he would certainly be hit by one of these explosive things. He had never really known what death was, had never thought much about it. But now that he could realise he was so close to it, his perception of the world completely changed. He could suddenly see his life flash before his eyes, from his most distant memory until now. His family…

He couldn’t die before seeing them again…he couldn’t…

The noises around him seemed to become fainter and fainter. And his body was becoming strangely light, almost as if the pain had left his whole body, even his head.

Maybe this was really the end this time.

He really wished he could have gone back home one last time…

“Carl! Carl! Carl! Carl!”

He could hear his name being called, but it was too vague for him to recognise the voice. Could it be George? Or maybe Paul? Or Mr. Hopkins. He was sure it was a male voice.

He wasn’t sure about what happened then. It seemed he was being lifted off the floor, but his vision was all blurry.

“Hold onto me! We cannot stay here!”

The voice sounded panicked, and the words seemed to be coming from so far away.

He wanted to tell him: leave me here, that’s no use. Run and save your own life while you can.

But his lips were too dry, glued to each other, and it felt like his head was empty.

He didn’t have the notion of space and time anymore. He could just sense vaguely the man was trying to have him walk, but his legs were too weak. He couldn’t even walk anymore. So maybe he was going to try carrying him. Otherwise, he would have to leave him here.

He didn’t know how much time passed. All he could remember was being pressed against someone’s side. He turned his head with much difficulty, but after a while of adaptation, he could see more or less clearly again. And realisation hit him.

It was the doctor. He had been the one to speak to him and help him stand up, just like he had done with Rosemary. He tried to speak but realised he still couldn’t. His lips were still as dry, and he was feeling much too weak to even try to do anything else other than moving his head like he just had.

The only thing that could leave his throat was a weird sound, a kind of hoarse groan that wasn’t nice at all. It made him sound like an animal. But it caught the doctor’s attention.

He gave him a small smile, a smile that seemed forced because he could see he was afraid. The way he was trembling against him but was trying to stop it. It was the same kind of smile he had offered to the little girl, wanting her to believe everything would be alright while he was fully aware it probably wouldn’t.

“It will be okay. It’s just a rough patch. It will pass. I won’t let you die anyway.”

He could feel his body being pressed closer. He wasn’t really sure whether it was his own body moving on its own or the doctor’s doing.

He just knew that he really needed it.

Once again, he thought about Mr. Hopkins and Mrs. Hopkins, Paul and George, and Emma. What if something happened to them this time?

He still didn’t want to consider this possibility. But he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t one. Especially not after this had already happened once.

His stomach was hurting again, but he was so used to it by now that he just considered it as something casual.

If only he had thought this would happen a few months back, he would have never wanted to believe it. This was just a real nightmare. Yeah, a nightmare. He was certainly only dreaming this and would eventually wake up. That was it. All his pain and all this suffering…it was too much to be true. He could only be hallucinating.

Maybe he had never really left home. That it was all in his head. He would wake up when he expected it the least, in his bed with the strong smell of manure invading his nostrils. He had never missed it so much as he did at that moment. That was stunning.

Another bomb exploded near them, projecting him in the distance. His head ended crashing against something hard and flat. A wall probably, or the floor.

He realised the doctor wasn’t near him anymore. Goosebumps seized him. He was feeling nauseous again.

It was happening exactly again like the previous time. Well not exactly actually, because he hadn’t been sent flying away with his head hitting something hard. It was even worse than that.

He could feel his whole body starting to go numb. He scanned the room, or rather what was left of it, and looked for the doctor, but couldn’t find him. He could only see darkness. He wanted to move but only noticed he still couldn’t. But he needed to. He couldn’t remain still. Not in such a dangerous situation.

He could suddenly hear someone shout his name. It took him a little while but he realised he had already heard this voice. It was the doctor again. He felt a kind of relief wash over him. At least he was still conscious.

They couldn’t stay here. He was certain another bomb was about to explode. It just seemed to take more time this time, as if it were only a way to distract them, and then it would hit when they expected it the least. Or maybe it was just his mind that had become too slow. He didn’t know. No. What was he saying? Was it making any sense? Probably not.

His head was aching too much. He couldn’t think straight any longer.

All of a sudden, he could feel his body being shifted and see the doctor again. He tried to carry him but seemed to struggle a lot. He seemed to already have trouble standing the weight of his own body… But this didn’t make him stop.

He wasn’t sure they actually moved.

Next thing he knew there was a loud bang. He didn’t know what happened. Everything went far too quickly for his hazy mind. He didn’t have the impression he had been badly hurt. Neither did he have the impression he had been projected in the air. This time he wouldn’t remain still. By that time, he knew the pain well enough to put up with it. He forced himself to move, but he could only crawl. His legs were far too weak to enable him to stand up.

He realised the doctor wasn’t near him any longer once again. He searched for him, but couldn’t find him immediately. His eyes caught sight of him after a short while. His heart skipped a beat. He was lying on the floor and looked unconscious. The time it took him to make his way towards him seemed to be endless. It was really frustrating.

His whole body froze once he finally reached him. His arms started shaking badly, and if he didn’t try to stop it, he was sure he would collapse on the other man’s body. He was covered in blood, and probably wouldn’t be able to move any longer this time. He, himself, couldn’t move or speak.

There was no one who could possibly help them. He only realised it as he looked around him, it wasn’t just the two of them. There were other bodies laying on the ground. But how couldn’t have he noticed it before? He felt like he couldn’t breathe any longer. He needed air.

“Carl…”

He started at the sound of the voice. It was hardly audible and so weak… He focused his attention back on the doctor.

“Move…You…you mustn’t…stay here…I can’t help you…any more…but…you need…to..do it…”

It was becoming much harder to breathe, and to lean on his hands.

Blood was leaving his mouth as he spoke. It took him everything he had in him not to collapse. But he had to look away from the man’s face.

“Carl…leave…now…do…your best…to…move…”

No… He wouldn’t move.

He wouldn’t leave his side. Even if it meant he could die.

Hey!  
Poor Karl...🤧😢😭
Take care ❤️