Live, Love, Lose - 45. Chapter 45

“Are you sure you boys are going to be okay on your own? I mean there is quite a lot of food supplies to bring back home and you won’t be able to have the car…”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine,” George assured her.

Here’s the context. Mr. and Mrs. Hopkins needed more food supplies as the living conditions in London were getting tougher and tougher, and they knew some people that lived outside London, who could provide them the food they needed. And George volunteered to go and bring it back, with the help of Karl of course, so they wouldn’t have to go.

Karl agreed to go because he was more than glad to help. But he didn’t like to see Mrs. Hopkins so concerned and worried.

“But it is not a one-hour-walk… and we won’t be able to get in touch until you come back—”

“Margaret, what could possibly happen to them on the road?” Her husband interfered. “They are old enough to go on their own, and if they could not do it, George would not have offered to go. There is nothing better than a trip in the outdoors for their bodies and minds, especially in the summer.”

“Yes, exactly,” George agreed.

Even with that, Mrs. Hopkins still looked somewhat reluctant and skeptical.

“I can go with them if you wish.”

This time it was Paul’s turn to interfere. Mrs. Hopkins turned her attention to him, as did everyone else.

“I thought you were too busy working.”

“They can keep working without me just for one day.”

“No, it’s okay, whether we are three or not if something happens to us we won’t be able to get anymore in touch with you, so it’s pointless. You’ll be much more useful at work,” George objected, somewhat getting impatient.

Paul didn’t seem to have a good answer to that, neither did his mother.

“We should get going now if we don’t want to get there too late,” he was quick to add.

It was silent for a few seconds afterwards.

“Mind yourselves, boys,” Mrs. Hopkins said with a small smile.

“We will.”

They departed not long after, once they had exchanged the usual “see you’s”. It took them practically the whole day to get there, but it was alright. They weren’t in a hurry anyway. The air was hot, and the sky blue so it was really nice to have such a long walk.

The sun was still high in the sky when they arrived, and they had no trouble finding the house. Well, it wasn’t just a house actually. It was a farm. They were greeted by a woman who was probably in her late forties or early fifties. She had a big smile plastered on her face and was really nice, as nice as Mrs. Hopkins.

“You can stay here with us for dinner tonight and spend the night here. You will have a long way to go to get back home.”

She was talking to George rather than Karl who was too busy taking a look at his surroundings. He let them talk as he deemed his presence wasn’t needed and made his way back outside.

He had a good walk around the main house and its surroundings. It was so different from London. It reminded him so much of home. The green pastures, the strong smell of manure. He was really feeling at home. His eyes fell on the huge barn, and he headed towards it. The big doors were already opened, so he just entered it and explored it. It was pretty much like the one they had home. Well, a barn was a barn after all. Seeing it made him realise how much he had missed all this.

He noticed the ladder in the back and went near it. Of course, he climbed. It led to a small wooden floor where hay was stocked. He sat down and shortly after he let his back fall against it. He grabbed a handful of hay and brought it to his nose, and inhaled deeply. He smiled. He enjoyed greatly the smell and the feeling of it in the palm of his hand. It’s been a while since he had last been handling hay. He just loved the smell. He kept holding it for a while until he finally let it fall next to him.

He slid one hand behind his head because of the floor that was a bit too hard for it. And he just kept laying there, his eyes glued to the ceiling, thinking about home and his family. It seemed to him that he hadn’t thought about them in forever. It felt weird for him that he still couldn’t go back home. It could mean nothing good…That familiar feeling settled again in his stomach. He really hoped they were all fine.

He thought about the time when he had been just a small child. When everything had seemed to be so much simpler. He really missed that time. He used to be so much happier and lively. He missed that old him.

Suddenly the visions he had had during the previous nights interfered with his current thoughts. He frowned slightly at the memories of them. He still couldn’t help finding this even more worrisome. At first, they had only been brief flashes but they had become more precise. Not what dreams were supposed to be like…hmm…?

That boy…Mimír…he was a Viking.

How funny.

His father had often told him stories about the Vikings and legends of the Norse mythology for bedtime as a child. He would always get too excited about it, and it would always leave him wanting for more rather than getting him to sleep.

“I’d really like to be a Viking, it’d be so awesome!”

“You, a Viking? No way!”

“You don’t think I could have been a good Viking?” He started pouting as he understood his father was making fun of him.

He turned his back to him as he was sitting cross-legged on the bed, his arms crossed as well. But his father suddenly embraced him from behind.

“You know what I really think? I think you’d be very good at anything you’d really want to do."

He turned his head to look at him, but it wasn’t that easy. His father’s grip on him was tight.

“You really mean it?”

“Do you really think I could lie to you about something so important?”

There was a moment of hesitation.

“Yes, to protect me and not hurt my feelings,” he replied dead serious.

His father let go of him after a few seconds or maybe minutes, and he shifted his position to kneel down on the bed right before him. He took a hold of his shoulders as he stared straight into his impassive eyes.

“I don’t need to lie to spare your feelings about this, trust me. I know what I’m saying. You are my son. You definitely could have been a Viking. But not a ‘good’ Viking, because it has never existed. But I prefer you to be your daddy’s little boy,” he said, smirking, letting go of his shoulders and ruffling his hair instead.

Karl started whining.

“Stop it, Daddy! Vikings aren’t Daddy’s boooys!”

“Them being bloodthirsty warriors and conquerors doesn’t mean that they didn’t love their families, you know.”

He smiled at the thought. Men with their families going on boats to get to a new land, and massacre the local populations there before they besieged it.

The memory itself had him smile, almost laugh, even though it didn’t last that long.

But he had never had these particular visions until now, so why only now? It had begun not long after George had tried to kill himself, and he saw a boy looking like him in his visions as well, so it could definitely not be a mere coincidence…

Or maybe quite simply he was starting to lose his mind…no, maybe it was just because of all the blood he had seen. This, associated with George’s attempt to kill himself, and his wish to be a Viking as a child, maybe his mind had just made all this up due to the circumstances, that’s all. He shouldn’t be panicking too much about it. It wouldn’t help him understand the meaning of all this any better anyway.

There was just one thing that was intriguing him. Did George have the same kind of visions as him? In which he could see his own death like he had seen it?

All of a sudden, he could hear footsteps near him, causing him to look away from the ceiling.

Well… Speaking of the devil…

George stood still on his side, observing him silently. He wondered what was so interesting in it. He was doing nothing special. After a few moments, he sat down next to him as he was still being silent. Karl kept staring at him as he was now looking ahead of him, in the distance, his legs bent and his arms wrapped around his shins.

He felt that there was something on his mind, something that was bothering him. He could see it in the look he had on his face. But he would probably tell him to piss off if he tried to ask him about it…

He wasn’t sure he could talk about his visions even to him.

“I don’t know if you heard, but they invited us to spend the night here,” George broke the long silence.

Karl only hummed faintly in response as he looked away from him.

Neither of them did or said anything afterwards, and it remained that way for a long while.

“Dinner will soon be ready. We should go join them.”

Again, George was the one to break the silence.

But Karl just didn’t feel like moving at all.

“No. I’m not hungry.”

His voice sounded completely monotonous as he said that, and it wasn’t that loud. He didn’t even look at George once. He didn’t hear him talk back. A few more moments passed before he finally stood up and climbed down the ladder, leaving the barn, leaving Karl all alone with his thoughts.

Overthinking until his head hurt, feeling ready to burst.

***

George came back after one hour or so; he didn’t know. He sat back down next to him, once again in silence.

“I told them you weren’t feeling so well, that you were exhausted after such a long trip.”

Karl only glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

“They still gave me this for you.”

He wasn’t really sure why, but he turned his head slowly and slightly. He was holding a thick loaf of bread with some cheese. But he still wasn’t feeling that hungry.

“I won’t force you to eat it. But at least you know it’s there.”

He looked away. It ended up with George straddling him once again, unzipping his trousers in a flash, struggling to lower them along with his underwear, but somehow managing to do so after a few moments. Then he used his mouth to give him some relief, and it was just enough to make Karl forget about everything. But he stopped before he could get his release. And Karl needed more now that he had started. They both undressed simultaneously and rapidly, and started kissing afterwards, but George had them stop shortly after.

“It won’t be too comfortable on a wooden floor…” he noted.

They both looked at each other, before George glanced down at the floor and so did Karl. They looked at each other again. They seemed to have the same idea on their minds. They rushed to take the hay and spread it all over the floor, and then they kissed over and over again. Karl lied back on his back with George on top of him, but then he did something Karl hadn’t expected him to do. Something that made him shudder. He was inside him without having to do anything. George started making slow movements which gradually became faster and faster. Karl couldn’t believe it. He didn’t have to do anything, and he wasn’t the one being penetrated. It sounded almost magical. And it was just…he moaned…as good. He grabbed his hips with trembling hands as it was becoming more and more intense, his eyes closed and his mouth opened.

Once it was finally over, George stayed still in that position for a while. He really wondered why he liked it so much.

It's normal for a bloke your age to get an eager interest in this kind of stuff. We've all gone that far, he could remember Paul telling this to him. I'm sure there are plenty of birds who'd like to have you for their first time. As long as you don't get them pregnant with future bastards, the rest doesn't matter.

When he eventually pulled out, he let his hands drop on his sides. George was the one to lay on him this time. There was something sticky against their skins, he realised after a few instants. The white liquid. What else could it be?

They both remained still and silent. And Karl soon started getting lost in thought again. But he didn’t think about home, he didn’t think about his family, nor did he think about the Vikings and his visions. He thought about George’s mother.

“Do you not like your mor…mo…ther,” he struggled to pronounce the word.

George looked quite taken back by his sudden question, but who wouldn’t?

He stared at him silently for a while, and Karl knew he should have stayed quiet.

“Why are you interested in it?” he said with a calm and flat tone.

He had expected a worse reaction.

“Why do you not want to go back home to her?”

The same thing happened again.

“It’s none of your business. Do I ask you questions about your family?”

“You can.”

It seemed his answer caught him by surprise too. George avoided his gaze as he was clearly upset. But Karl really needed to know.

“It’s complicated. You can’t understand,” George ended up saying after a long while.

Karl didn’t say anything more. Maybe he shouldn’t insist. They hadn’t reached that level of closeness yet, and maybe never would.

“I won’t go back as long as he’ll stay there,” George spoke again after a few more moments of silence.

He…? Who was he talking about exactly?

“Who?”

George was silent again for a short while.

“My stepfather,” he paused before he proceeded. “Uncle Robb probably already told you about my father.”

He didn’t reply.

“I was seven when she met that bloke. He intruded into our life with his newborn baby. We were perfectly doing well on our own, just me and her,” he paused again, longer this time. “I know most kids who are like me would give anything to have a father, even if they aren’t related by blood. But not me. I realised I was just fine growing up without a Dad. I can’t miss or crave what I’ve never known.”

Whoah. He should have really shut up.

He knew he was hurting inside, even if he feigned indifference. He could sense it. And his silence was enough as proof of it. He wrapped his arms around him suddenly. George looked surprised by it, but kept quiet. He didn’t move either, and just seemed to be soothed by the close contact. It was peaceful. And that’s just the way things should always remain. He shivered as he felt George's hot breath on his skin.

"Teach me some Danish. Tell me about your home and family."

He said it so low that Karl hardly caught the words. That was...unexpected, but quite welcome. Karl smiled as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Alt for dig."

Anything for you.

***

“What’s that?”

“A pasture.”

“And that?”

“A barn.”

“And that?”

“Manure.”

“And that?”

“Cows.”

“And that?”

“Hay. Can you stop now?”

George was clearly annoyed by his incessant questioning. But he didn’t know the farm vocabulary, so he wanted to learn it.

“It won’t be useful to you anyway once you go back home.”

They were currently outside, not that far from the barn they had spent the night in.

But when would it be?

He chose to shrug it off as he made his way towards one of the pastures.

“Hey! Where are you going now?” George called after him, but he didn’t stop or look back at him. He fetched a rope on his way there. He approached one of the cows and started petting her.

“Smuk pige, du er den valgte.”

Beautiful girl, you’re the chosen one.

He put the rope around her neck and tied it the way he knew to do so well.

“Komme.”

He took her inside the barn, and fetched an empty bucket nearby which he put under her. He knelt down and started milking her. It just felt so nice to do it again after so long.

“What the heck are you doing?” He heard George say after a little while.

He glanced up at him but was too focused on his task to even reply. He didn’t need to anyway. The answer to his question was pretty obvious.

He remained still for a few moments before he came near him, and just watched him. It was silent, except for the noise of the milk that fell directly into the bucket.

“Is this supposed to suggest what I’m thinking about?”

Karl only looked at him from the corner of his eye and shrugged.

“That milk is much bitter,” came his answer after a long moment of silence.

George didn’t reply immediately.

“Here you are, boys!”

He glanced up to see the woman.

“Oh! My…you know how to milk a cow!”

She was definitely surprised, but not in a bad way. She got near them in no time.

“That is amazing! Never had I thought that Margaret would send someone who knows about farm work!”

Why couldn’t his mother be like that?

Once he was done with that they got ready to leave so they wouldn’t get back to London too late. They hadn’t planned on staying for a small holiday.

“It's such a shame that you can't stay here with us. One more person would have really helped us.”

She really looked and sounded disappointed, which made his stomach drop slightly.

“But that is okay. We will make it through as we have always had. Look, here is some extra food for your trip back home.”

“Thank you. That’s really nice of you.”

“It’s only natural. Have a safe trip, boys.”

After bidding their goodbyes to her, they quickly left. They walked in silence. He noticed how George was lagging behind.

“Hey! Wait! How can you go so fast when what we carry is so heavy?” He complained.

He was definitely not a country boy.

Karl slowed down his pace and just stopped walking a few seconds later so he could catch up.

“You proposed to go,” he reminded him once he was beside him.

As expected, he didn’t look happy.

“Shut up and just keep walking!”

Karl just watched him as he seemed to be still struggling to walk faster. He smiled.

They had a break after a long while, stopping near a river. At some point, before he knew what was happening to him, he found himself underwater. He realised George had just pushed him as he had been observing the water a bit too close.

He came up for air and stared at George with a look that was silently asking: “Why did you do that?”

George just shrugged casually.

“It’s hot so I thought you’d like to cool off."

He really wanted to play again.

He moved closer to the river bank swiftly and grabbed George’s ankle, pulled on it making him lose his balance and fall into the water. But so he wouldn’t fall on him he had to move backwards in a flash, which he did successfully.

Of course, he had anticipated his reaction, which made it all the more amusing.

“I swear you’re gonna regret what you’ve just done!”

But Karl moved out of the water quickly enough before he could do anything against him.

“You bloody bastard! Come back here!”

Karl shrugged casually.

“You started it.”

A wide smile grew on his face as George was seething. Then he removed his clothes that were completely soaked and let them dry in the sun. Afterwards, he went back into the water, because it was even nicer with this weather without clothes.

George imitated him and joined him into the water. They ended up fighting playfully, which only left them breathless. But it was worth it.

They needed a bit of fun in the chaos of the war.

George wrapped his arms around his waist, bringing their bodies together. And he kissed him. He already knew where this was going to lead.

But once again, they weren’t in a hurry.

Hey! 
So...about this character who looks just like Karl...Mímir... What are your thoughts about him? 
Have a good day/night  and take care ❤️