Live, Love, Lose - 52. Chapter 52

One evening, Karl and George went to the pub. It had been a long while since the last time they had gone there. Paul wasn’t with them because he was too busy working.

Emma looked so happy to see them. She had a big smile plastered on her face as they approached the counter. He had missed her warm smile.

“Carl! George! It’s been a while! Welcome back! What would you like to drink? It’s all on me.”

“Some booze, if you still have some left.”

“I’m afraid not…things have been so complicated lately. Nothing good for business…”

“It’s alright. Give us what you can. Or nothing is fine too. We can spend one evening in a pub without drinking.”

“No… I can’t let you go back home without drinking anything. This is not done.”

“You’re the boss here.”

Emma smiled at George before she disappeared from their view. Karl thought back on the first time they had come there with Paul. His attitude had shifted from night to day, it was quite impressive. Just with the way he spoke, it was obvious. He sounded much more like Paul.

But after all since they were related he shouldn’t be that surprised.

Did the way their relation had been evolving have something to do with that change? Probably not. He shouldn’t give himself so much credit and self-importance.

Emma soon came back with two glasses that she put down on the counter. He instantly recognised the colour of the liquid. Wait a minute. It wasn’t fizzing.

“I only have some hard liquor left,” she stated.

“That’s perfect. Thank you.”

Emma smiled at them.

He noticed how the glasses were different; they were smaller. He frowned slightly as he stared at the brown liquid. He took it and examined it thoroughly before he brought it to his nose to smell it. But the small was unfamiliar.

“Just taste it. One swallow won’t kill you.”

He looked at George and then back at the glass. He hesitated for some more time before he finally made up his mind to taste it.

He choked on it and coughed a bit. It burned his throat and lips. He preferred much better that yellow thing with the white foam; what was it called again? He couldn’t remember.

“Easy, easy, just breathe.”

Emma was tapping on his upper back. He hadn’t even seen her make her way to the other side. He put the glass back down on the counter a bit too briskly.

The burning sensation lingered.

“Let me get you some water.”

Emma quickly left.

“You need to get used to it. It’s like being penetrated.”

Huh? Being what?

He just decided to shrug it off.

“Here’s your water.” Emma looked so worried that she had apparently been in a haste. But he was alright now.

“Thanks.”

He gulped it without waiting.

“Don’t force yourself to finish it if you don’t like it. George will drink it for you.”

“Naturally.”

Emma tried to start a conversation, but it seemed impossible to have a normal conversation any more with what had been happening.

They didn’t go back home too late anyway.

“I really hope I’ll see you again soon,” Emma sounded and looked almost desperate, as if she were expecting for the worse to happen.

“Let’s keep our fingers crossed.”

Emma gave them both what looked like a sympathetic look.

“Oh, by the way, if you could give this to Paul when you see him, that’d be nice.”

She handed George a bit of paper that looked stained with coffee or something similar.

“A love letter, seriously?”

“It’s not a love letter!” Emma was quick to defend herself. “It’s just…a small note.”

Karl swore he could see a faint blush colour her cheeks. She was even prettier like this.

George gave her that look that said he didn’t believe her, and then all of a sudden he smirked.

“I’ll give it to him,” he said as he took it.

He started unfolding it, but Emma protested.

“No! Don’t read it! It’s personal! Please.”

George raised one eyebrow at her.

“What can be so personal? Are you telling him about how you like to suck him?”

Karl’s body twitched in sheer surprise and slight fear as Emma suddenly slapped George.

Erm…well…it seemed George hadn’t changed that much….

But she looked like she was feeling somehow guilty a few instants later.

“This is not a proper way to speak to a lady," she looked like she was pouting as she said that.

George just rubbed slightly the cheek that had been hit as he didn’t look away from her.

“Let me give it to Carl. I don’t know why I didn’t think about it first.”

“Yes, give it to Carl. He’s so perfect.”

There were times like this when George could really get on his nerves. With this shitty behaviour. At first, he had never really cared about it, but since they had started to become more than…he still didn’t know what word would fit…well, anyway, he didn’t like it.

Why couldn’t have he just kept his mouth shut?

“Thanks Emma.”

He couldn’t be happy because of him. He stood up swiftly and made his way towards the exit. But before he could get out, some young woman blocked the way.

“Hello.”

Was she really talking to him?

He tried to look behind him to see if it couldn’t be someone else, but next thing he knew she put her hands on his face and forced him to look at her.

“I’ve been observing you for a while, you know. I’m Maisie, short for Margaret. And you?”

He could feel some kind of unpleasant heat rose in his face. The girl was really pretty. She had nice brown wavy hair that was rolled so her face was perfectly cleared and that reached past her shoulders as well as blue eyes. And she had a nice dress. She looked like she was in her late teens, early twenties at most. And she was so much smaller than him, he also noticed. He wasn’t used to that.

Oh. How funny. Her name was Margaret too. She looked and sounded as nice as her. He was too taken aback to even think about giving any kind of reply.

“I’m sorry… I don’t mean to appear too forward. But I told myself I couldn’t miss my chance, for if I did I would regret it for the rest of my life. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to get you to have a one night stand with me or anything lewd. I’m not the kind of loose woman.”

Erm…he couldn’t understand most of what she said.

“I really wish I could have made a better first impression… I don’t want you to label me as a madwoman either.”

What was he supposed to do now? He had no clue…

“It’s just that…With the war going on, we may not be here any more tomorrow, or in a few days, who knows. That’s why I prefer to live each day as if it were my last day on this earth. And that’s what pushed me to be so forward with you right now.”

His whole body tensed at the mention of the word ‘war’…and he started shivering as well.

“I’d like to try to get to know you while I can. But I totally understand if you don’t feel the same way about me. I don’t want to insist and force you if you don’t want to…even though I’d like you to give me a chance to prove to you that it would be worth it.”

She looked so vulnerable, almost desperate. It made his stomach ache slightly.

“You’re so silent. I’ve been scaring you, haven’t I? I only need you to answer the following question. The choice is up to you. And if the answer is negative, then I’ll leave you alone. You’ll never hear of me again. So…will you accept to see me again?”

Karl was clearly at a loss for words. She sounded so sincere when she spoke. But…what should he say…? She really seemed to be a good person, and—

“No, he won’t!”

He started at the unexpected interference. He didn’t even have time to turn around. Next thing he knew, George was dragging him out of the pub. He probably shoved the girl out of the way. But he was too shocked to even pay attention.

But rather quickly his shock and confusion turned into renewed annoyance. As they were out on some street, he abruptly stopped, not wanting to follow him. He wanted to do what he would decide.

“Let me!”

He forcibly jerked his extended arm towards himself so George would let go of his wrist. That’s what he did, seemingly too shocked to resist and get into some kind of fight with him.

They stared at each other in silence for a short while.

“It’s a pity you couldn’t watch yourself, because you should’ve seen how pathetic you were!”

Of course, he wouldn’t apologise for his behaviour. That was too much to ask from him.

“She can find someone much better than you anyway. She’ll thank me once she stops being so blind.”

What he said didn’t matter; just the tone he used was enough to make him walk away as far away from him as he could.

“Hey! Come back! Come back!”

Karl didn’t look back at him. He just kept walking. But then suddenly a curious thought to say the least crossed his mind, which made him stop in his tracks. He walked the few steps he had just taken the other way around. He needed to check it out.

“Du er jaloux.”

You're jealous

Another word his brother had taught him. His brother had always taught him interesting words.

George looked at him as if he had just said something he shouldn’t have.

“Me? Jealous of you? Seriously? Only in your dreams.”

His reaction only confirmed it. He had understood how he worked by that time.

“The Danes can’t even use a word in their own tongue, really? They have to borrow the French one instead. Why don’t you make one in your language?”

“Danes are not jaloux.”

It was the exact same look again.

“I’m not jealous!”

With that, he was the one to start walking away this time.

Karl couldn’t help the wicked grin that formed on his lips. He just loved teasing him.

Wait…

Was it normal that he was shifting from one emotion to another so easily? He didn’t know what was supposed to be normal with him any more.

He decided to catch up with him before he could outrun him too much. As he got near him he wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. But George only tried to struggle free from his grip. He let go of him before he attacked him like a wild animal.

George took him into a deserted alley and pushed him against the wall. Karl still had that wicked grin plastered on his face.

“I hate you.”

He only kissed him in response as he wrapped his arms around his neck. And George didn’t need to be begged to kiss him back. They made out for a while in the cool air of the coming night. It was pure passion, it was delirious, almost like dreaming awake.

He had got used to it by that time; it wasn’t awkward any more or weird. It had become like a kind of addiction, an obsession. He hadn’t forgotten that George wasn’t a girl, wasn’t pretty or beautiful. But he overlooked this. The addiction was too strong.

As they kept kissing, he ran his hands through George’s hair and dishevelled him. He wasn’t really sure why, but he liked dishevelling his perfectly styled hair, ruining in only a matter of seconds all the effort he had put in it. But it didn’t even seem to annoy George.

They eventually broke the lingering contact for some needed fresh air.

“Jaloux,” Karl couldn’t help teasing him.

“Shut your bloody mouth!”

He started walking away again.

“And we say "jealous" in English!” He shouted from a distance.

Karl kept grinning for a while, but it soon vanished.

There was a question that had been bothering him for weeks now.

Did George like males like men and boys were supposed to like women and girls. Was he attracted to them? Did he find them handsome? Had he already been attracted to a girl once in his life?

He couldn’t help wondering. He was confused about all this stuff.

Of course, he wouldn’t dare ask him.

Did it mean it was the same for girls? That girls could be attracted to other girls? It sounded crazy when he thought about it.

This was way too complicated for him. He was only a poor farm boy. He only knew he had never been attracted to boys.

But then why was this desire and addiction for George so strong?

Hey!  
Here you go with another chapter! 
Take care ❤️