Poor Man's Son - 41. Chapter 40

August 26, 2000

Escorial

Palo Alto, CA

Will

“Is John here tonight?” Dad asked me. I gave him a dirty look. I couldn’t believe he’d bring John up when I was in the middle of partying with Tony.

“He’s at a lacrosse camp. He’ll be back next week, after I’m gone.”

“You don’t sound too upset about that?” he asked, digging.

“Are you going to do that shot, or am I going to have to do it for you?” I asked, pointing at the shot of Jaegermeister Gathan had just given him. He looked at me, with that expression that said if I didn’t answer his question he’d just read more into it than there was. “Look, we’re fine. We’re friends. We’re just at different places in our lives.”

He did the shot. “Different places? You mean because you’re hanging out with college guys and stripping in gay clubs, and he’s not?”

“Aren’t you a fucking riot tonight.”

I got up to leave and go talk to someone pleasant, but he stopped me. “Will, I was joking. Relax.”

“You usually smile when you joke. You seemed pretty serious to me.” I sighed. “When I hang out with him and his friends, I feel like I’m 11.”

“Do you think you’ll run into this problem at Harvard-Westlake?” He paused to let me think about that. “You won’t go to the upper level school until 10^th grade.”

“Jason and a couple of other friends will be there, and they’re more like me,” I said.

“More like you?”

“Yeah, more mature,” I said. “It’s not like we counted out who has more pubes, but you just know.” That made him chuckle.

“Tony seems like a nice guy,” he said.

“We’re just friends,” I said firmly. I didn’t want to delve into this with him. “I’ll be back.” I got up and went outside and ended up smoking a joint with Gathan and Kristin. “You’re smoking tonight?” I teased her.

“I smoke sometimes,” she said coquettishly.

“So how are you doing with Tony?” Gathan asked.

“Dude, all I got so far was a kiss. Now, granted, it was the most amazing kiss of my life, but that’s it.”

“Maybe he’s just not into you,” Kristin said, giving me shit.

“Like that would happen,” I said, being all cocky.

Gathan looked around, acting all secretive, and then poured me a shot of Jaeger. I took it, and almost puked it back up again. “That is some nasty shit.”

“It is. See, you shouldn’t be drinking,” he said.

I slammed the shot glass on the table, demanding another one. I did it, but it didn’t taste any better. Fortified with two shots and some weed, I went back inside to track down Tony. I found him hanging out with Darius. I just watched them as they interacted; it was so natural. Watching Tony talk to Darius was just like watching Darius talk to any of his straight friends. I walked up and joined their conversation.

“Hey,” Tony said to me enthusiastically. “Where you been?”

“Doing shots and getting high.”

“What the fuck are we doing here?” Darius asked.

“I’m gonna take a piss, then I’ll meet you on the patio,” Tony said.

I waited until he was out of earshot to corner Darius. “Dude, what’s his deal? Is he straight?”

“How the fuck should I know?” Darius replied. “It’s not like he tried to suck my dick.”

“If he did, would you let him?” I joked.

“See, that’s what those conservative whack jobs are talking about. You fags are always trying to co-opt straight guys.”

“Always.” We laughed.

“Dude, seriously, I don’t know. Why do you care? Just go with it. If he’s into you, he’ll make a move. If not, then he won’t.”

“Maybe I should make a move,” I said.

He thought about that, and shook his head. “No, he’s the kind of guy who makes the moves when he’s ready. You do it, you won’t get anywhere.”

“How the fuck would you know that?” I asked, laughing.

He didn’t laugh. “The dude’s a dude. I have friends like him, and that’s how they are with women. They make the moves. It’s like a macho thing or something.”

“That makes sense,” I agreed. Every time I’d tried to initiate something with Tony, it had only made him uncomfortable. We went out to the patio, did some more shots, and smoked some more weed.

As the night went on, some people got more fucked up, and some got more sober. I stayed pretty much the same, copping a good buzz and keeping it going. Gathan and Tony got totally hammered, which was pretty funny until Gathan remembered that Kristin was leaving in the morning. Then he got all sad, and started crying, so Kristin dragged him back to their room.

“Dude, that was a buzz-kill,” Darius said after they left.

“You were like that when you were leaving,” Ella reminded him.

“You were that big of a pussy?” I asked. I never missed a chance to give Darius shit.

“Fuck you.”

“When it comes to me, he says that, or ‘fuck off’, more than any other words,” I said to Ella.

“You should be nicer to Will,” Ella teased Darius, just to keep him from getting too pissed off at me.

“Yeah, but I use those words more with JJ than with you,” he said.

“That’s true,” I agreed, laughing. “I have to work at pissing you off. He seems to do it naturally.”

“Someone’s about to pass out,” Ella said, gesturing to Tony. He was sitting in a chair, swaying back and forth.

I smiled and walked over to him. He looked up at me, trying to focus his eyes. I held out my hand and he just looked at it. “Come on big guy. I’ll help you get back to your room.” I sensed that Darius was about to make some smart ass remark about that, so I shot him an evil glare. It was one of those things brothers could do: I could tell him with a simple look that this was not the time to fuck around with me. He could tell that I was serious, and that if he did, the consequences would be dire.

“Night,” he said. He and Ella got up and left.

“You gonna let me help you, or are you gonna stay out here all night?” I asked Tony.

“Oh yeah,” he slurred, and grabbed my hand. I pulled him up and then put my arm around his waist, guiding him along. I felt his arm fall across my shoulder, and that was how we walked down the long hallways of Escorial. His room was inconveniently at the opposite end of the hall from mine, and mine was closer, but I remembered Darius’ words: Let him make the moves. We’d make it.

We bumped into the walls along the way, laughing as we did, but finally made it to his door. He looked at me nervously as I opened it and helped him through it. “I gotta pee,” he said.

I led him to the bathroom and left him alone while he peed, even though I so wanted to look and see his dick. He came stumbling out a few minutes later. He almost fell, but I caught him.

“I can handle it from here,” he said unsteadily.

“It’s OK dude. I’ll get you in bed and leave you alone.”

“No really, I’m fine,” he said authoritatively.

“You worried I’ll rape you?” I joked.

“No, I’m worried I’ll rape you,” he said, and his whole demeanor changed. The drunken idiot was replaced by a guy who had the unmistakable look of lust in his eyes. He grabbed me roughly and pulled me to him, so we were literally nose to nose.

“It wouldn’t be rape,” I said, as I looked into his eyes. “I’d have to be an unwilling partner for that to happen.”

He gave out an almost guttural moan and grabbed the back of my head, pulling me to him. Then we were kissing, and even though he tasted like weed and alcohol, it was as amazing as it had been on the boat. I pulled him along with me over to his bed and collapsed back onto it, pulling him on top of me.

He broke off our kiss and nuzzled my ear. “I want you so bad. You’re driving me crazy,” I heard myself whimper as I wrapped my legs around him. He started thrusting against me, dry humping me since we both still had our shorts on.

“I want you too,” I said, the next time he broke off our kiss. He pulled my shirt up and over my head, then started working his way down my body with his mouth. All I could do was lie there and moan, reveling in the attention he was giving me. His tongue flicked my nipple and I reflexively arched my back and thrust into him. He looked up at me and smiled as he worked his way lower, down to my belly button. His eyes were locked on mine the whole time he did, and then he got to my pants. I reached down and undid the button and zipper for him, and then he slid them off, taking my boxers with them.

“Damn, you are hung,” he said. He grabbed my dick, sending shockwaves through my body. Before I could say anything else he licked the head of my cock. “You like that?”

“Yeah,” I gasped. “More.” He lowered his mouth on my dick slowly, giving me time to focus on how good his lips felt, how exciting the feel of his tongue was. I finally felt myself lodge in the back of his throat, and he made a swallowing motion. I almost blew my load on the spot. I pushed him off of me. “My turn,” I said.

He pulled his shirt off, then helped me get his pants and boxers off, until he was lying on his back, stark naked. I did the same thing that he had done, exploring his body with my hands and my mouth. He had dark red nipples that went so well with his olive skin. They got really small and pert when I sucked on them. He really liked that. Then I moved down his chest to his abs. He tensed them for me to show off his washboard, so I took some time to run my hands over them and worship them.

I found his sexy treasure trail, a thin ribbon of dark brown hair, and followed it down to his trimmed pubes, working my way down to his dick. He was a big boy. His dick was a lot like Gathan’s in that it was pretty thick, but it was longer. “Nice,” I said. He liked that. I lowered my mouth down onto his cock just like he’d done to me, and I got moans to encourage me.

“Oh yeah, oh yeah!” he said. “That is so good. God, that’s good.” I felt him pulling at my body. “Turn around. I want to do you too.”

I lay on top of him in a 69 position, then went back to work on his cock. I expected him to start sucking me, but instead I felt his hands on my ass, grabbing it firmly. Then he ran his fingers down my crack and across my hole. I moaned into his cock and ground my dick into his chest. I took a split second to contrast this to how I’d felt when John had done it. When he’d played with my ass, I’d closed up and gone rigid. When Tony did it, it just turned me on. “You like that, eh?”

“Mmm hmmm,” I hummed while I was sucking his cock.

“Then I think you’re really gonna like this,” he said. I felt something warm and moist on my ass; it took me a few seconds to get that he was rimming me.

“Ahhh,” I said, pulling myself off of his dick so I could moan. God, that was wonderful.

“You have an amazing ass,” he said. “Just amazing.”

“Feels so good,” I heard myself say. He fumbled for something, and I didn’t know what it was until I felt something cool on my hole: lube.

He pushed a finger into me, and did it so gently it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. “Is this OK?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “Go for it.” I kept sucking and licking on his dick while he probed my ass with his finger. He pulled out and I felt another finger join the first one, and I knew then that he was going to fuck me. I stared at his dick as he fingered me, knowing that in just a few minutes, that monster would be jammed up my ass. The thought of that didn’t bother me at all, it just excited me more. I’d never wanted anyone more than I wanted him now.

I let him work me open, and then I turned around to face him. He sat up in the bed and kissed me as he pulled me to him. I was kneeling over him, lowering myself down slowly. I felt his hand lining his dick up, making sure it was aimed right at my hole, as I lowered myself down more and more.

“You sure you want to do this?” he asked.

“I have never wanted anything this much before,” I said to him. He smiled, and then kissed me again. His muscular arms were lodged against my back, holding me close to him, while his hands were wrapped around each of my shoulders, as if pushing me down onto his dick.

I felt his dick pressing at my hole and I willed myself to open up and let him in. I was shocked when it worked. It was a little painful, but nothing like I’d expected. I felt his big dick forcing its way inside me, but it was just uncomfortable. There was no extreme pain like there had been when John tried it. “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” he said. “I’ve never felt anything this good before.”

And that did it. I was so into this guy, I wanted to give him the most pleasure he’d ever had. I forced my body to accept his presence, and responded enthusiastically, riding up and down on his big dick on my own, while he guided me with his muscular arms. “I’ve dreamed of this,” I cooed in his ear. He moaned and thrust into me more deeply, giving me a big clue that he liked it when I talked to him while we were doing it, so I babbled on. “I’ve laid there in bed, jacking off, thinking about how good you’d feel. You feel even better than I imagined.”

He kissed me again, and when he did, he moved me a little bit. When he pushed into me the next time, I saw stars. “Oh God,” I said. “Oh God!”

“You OK?” he asked, concerned.

“Oh yeah,” I whimpered. “So good. So good.” He smiled at me and started to really fuck me. My legs were like springs, as I pushed up and then he used his hands on my shoulders to push me back down again. My dick rubbed across his abdomen as I rode up and down on him, driving me wild. I completely lost control of my body; I simply moaned and cried, alternately saying nasty, erotic things in his ear one minute, and making out with him the next.

“You are un-fucking-believable,” he said in his husky voice. “Un-fucking-believable.”

“You’re totally rocking my world!” I almost screamed. Then I was almost surprised as I felt my orgasm starting. “Fuck, Tony, I’m cumming. Fuck. You’re making me cum.” That was the last coherent thing I said. I felt my body convulse, as spasm after spasm of ecstasy shot through my body, matching the shots that flew out of my dick.

“Me too!” he growled. I was just finishing my own climax when he came. He pushed me down onto his dick and let out this loud guttural yell, one they probably heard on the other side of the house, and started blasting his load into me. It was so intense, and so raw, that he seemed to spur my own orgasm on. It felt like I kept cumming and cumming long after I should have been done. When he was done, he stopped and smiled at me, a huge grin.

“I have never felt anything like that in my entire life,” I told him. He kissed me affectionately.

“You were as amazing as I thought you’d be,” he told me. He collapsed onto his back and I lay on top of him. When his dick fell out of my ass, I felt like part of me was missing. I lay on top of him, my arms wrapped around him, still quivering from that amazing orgasm as I drifted off to sleep.

August 27, 2000

Escorial

Palo Alto, CA

Will

I felt him move underneath me and I sighed, holding him tighter. What an amazing night. Now I knew what those guys who bottomed were talking about. Now I understood why Berto had been so into it. Only this was so much more, because I really liked this guy. We were so good together. He was strong where I was weak, and I had strengths that complemented his weaknesses. We had different interests, but I liked the stuff he was into, and he liked to teach me about it. The same seemed to be true about the stuff I was into. I lay there, floating on a cloud of bliss, feeling his morning hard-on probing at my ass. I adjusted myself to take him inside me. I figured that would be a pretty good way to wake him up. I felt him slide inside me with no pain at all, and felt the waves of sexual euphoria wash over me once again.

I felt his body stiffen, and then got a reaction I wouldn’t have anticipated in a million years. “What the fuck?” he yelled. I looked up at him, amazed, and saw his really pissed off expression. “What the fuck?” he demanded again, only this time he pushed me off and him out of me, and he did it with such force I flew out of the bed and landed on the floor, right on my ass.

When I was hit with really intense problems or situations, I needed time to process them before I reacted, but this time I was scrambling to even figure out what the problem or situation was. One minute this guy I’m totally into is, well, totally into me. The next minute, I’m on the cold floor, sitting on my ass stark naked. “That fucking hurt,” I managed to say.

“What are you doing?” he demanded. “Disgusting! Gross!”

“Disgusting?” I asked calmly. “Gross?” What the fuck was going on? I stood up, rubbing my ass because it was sore from falling on the floor.

He glared at me, his nostrils flared, while I just stood there, feeling numb and confused. “Yeah. You had my dick up your ass. What were you doing? Preying on me? Waiting for a moment of weakness? This is so wrong. Fuck. This is so wrong.”

I was moving from calm to pissed, and I was moving there quickly. “You didn’t think it was so gross last night. You didn’t think it was so wrong then,” I shouted.

“You’re fourteen fucking years old. I can’t believe I did this.” And that did it. I headed toward the door, stark naked, when he grabbed my arm. I was suddenly enraged, more pissed off than I’d ever been, and I lashed out at him. As he pulled me back, I spun around and landed a right hook square in the middle of his stomach. “Fuck!” he yelled, and grabbed his stomach. I’d knocked the wind out of him, and while he was doubled over, trying to catch his breath, I stormed out of his room.

It was only after I did that that I realized that it was morning, a busy morning since everyone was leaving, and that I was stark naked. There was no way I was going back in his room. I put my hands over my dick, and ran down the hall to my room, luckily evading any prying eyes. I locked the door, and actually contemplated barricading myself in. Instead, I went to the bathroom and locked that door too, then hopped into the shower.

The water poured over me, flowing through my hair and across my face, washing away the tears. What the fuck just happened? I went from having the most amazing night of my life, to having the most miserable morning. What was his deal? He thought I preyed on him? I thought I’d shown amazing restraint. I mean, I hadn’t even really hit on him that hard. I’d let him make all the moves. I’d woken up this morning, thinking that I’d just experienced the most awesome thing possible, and he told me I was disgusting and gross. And fourteen.

Water, that force in my life that soothed and restored me, began to work its magic on me. My dad always told me that one of his biggest sources of strength was his pride, and I drew on that same trait to bolster my sagging ego. He was lucky that he got to fuck me. He was lucky that I was willing to sleep with him. He’d figure it out, and be sorry as hell that he didn’t treat me better. No way was some dude going to do this to me and see me sweat.

I felt something trickling out of my ass and I remembered that I’d fucked him without a condom. Shit. I’d been so good up until now. Shit. How could I have been so stupid? He’d only had three girlfriends, but was he safe with them? Were they the only ones he’d had sex with? He certainly knew what he was doing last night. How many guys had he been with? How many guys had he barebacked?

All of this time, people had been telling me that I was out of my league, moving into areas I wasn’t ready for. Up until this moment, I hadn’t believed them. Up until right now, I’d known that even at fourteen, I was as mature as any of the guys I was dealing with. But now I was in way over my head. I’d just been barebacked by a guy who told me I was gross and disgusting. A guy I’d really been into. How do you recover from that? How do you move beyond that?

I got out of the shower and started drying off. I heard someone urgently knocking on my door and knew it would be Tony. I wrapped the towel around my waist and got ready to go out and rip him a new asshole, but stopped myself. If I did that, if I created a big scene, then everyone would know we had this big issue, and I’d get all kinds of pressure to talk about it. There was no way I was going to talk about this. No fucking way. This was too embarrassing. I stayed in the bathroom and ignored him. I didn’t want anything to do with him. He’d convinced me to go back to my safe, Pollyanna 9^th grade world. I’d leave him behind to figure out what the fuck his problem was.

The knocking stopped, and I relaxed. I looked in the mirror and worked on my hair and the rest of my appearance. I practiced my expressions, determined that no one would figure out how upset I was, and how churned up my emotions were. I rehearsed how I’d react when they left. I could hardly say good riddance. Fortunately, Tony wasn’t big on physical affection. I’d simply shake his hand and wish him luck. Everyone would expect me to be sad to see him go. After all, we’d spent damn near the last two weeks together constantly. How would I handle that? The answer was Kristin. I focused on how sad it was that she was leaving, and because I really liked her, that would carry me through. Fortified with my strategy, I dressed quickly, then strode out of my room confidently and headed for the kitchen.

I walked in to find the entire crew there. Dad and Pop sat there giving Darius shit, while Gathan was trying to eat something in between bouts of nausea and tears. I caught Kristin’s eye and winked at her. Stef and JP were there too, chatting away cheerfully with everyone. And there, at the end of the table next to the only open chair, was Tony. He looked at me, his expression laced with guilt, but I just looked through him. “Morning,” I said to them all cheerfully.

“Morning,” they said.

“How are you?” I asked Tony cheerfully, shocking the shit out of him. “Did you sleep well last night?”

“Uh, I’m OK,” he said. Leaving him dazed and confused was the first satisfaction of the morning. I ate a good breakfast, and then followed everyone out to the Great Hall. As we rounded the corner to enter the room, he stayed back and walked next to me. “Can I talk to you?”

“It would be a waste of time. Both yours and mine,” I said coldly.

“I’m sorry, Will,” he said, pleading with me.

“I’m disgusting. I’m gross. I’m fourteen. Don’t demean yourself by apologizing to me,” I snapped.

“Can’t you give me a chance to explain?”

I ignored him, then stopped and made him look at me. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to get on that plane and act sad to leave me, and I’m going to act sad that you’re leaving. You’re not going to say shit to Kristin. Then you’re going to fly out of my life. You got that?”

“Will...”

“You don’t, and I will make your life a living fucking hell,” I said, with so much malice I scared myself. I paused for a minute to get my happy face back on, and then walked away from him.

Gathan was an absolute disaster: He was crying, sobbing, as Kristin left. I think it was only now that all of us realized how important she was to him. I gave her a nice hug. “Take care of yourself.”

“You take care of yourself,” she said to me. “You know you’re my favorite gay boy.”

“And you’re my favorite fag hag,” I joked, getting a laugh from Darius and a fake scowl from Kristin. She moved on and I was faced with my formal goodbye with Tony.

“Thanks for showing me such a good time,” Tony said.

“I enjoyed getting to know you,” I said, and tried not to sound rigid. Then he blew me away by hugging me. He never did that. I had no choice but to hug him back, even though every fiber in my body wanted to rip him apart.

“I’m sorry Will. I really fucked up this morning,” he said. I felt myself weakening, felt myself letting his charm work on me, but then he added one more sentence that blew the mood. “I’d still really like to be your friend.” My friend? He wanted to be my friend? After last night, and how good we were together, all he wanted to be was my friend? Was I that disgusting and gross?

I moved my mouth to his ear, conscious that there were eyes on me, and kissed his cheek as I did. “Fuck off,” I said calmly.

He pulled away from me, gave me a sad look, and then walked out the door. I walked over and put my arm around Gathan, letting him collapse into me, sobbing. I felt guilty for using him to camouflage my own feelings, using his genuine sorrow to feign my own.