Poor Man's Son - 4. Chapter 4

July 7, 2000

New York, NY

Gathan

     

“Gathan, you are going to kill me,” Stef panted as I drove him toward yet another orgasm.

“You want me to stop?” I asked him playfully.

He grinned. “No.” Then I came, blasting into the condom he’d made me wear. I looked down as my dick jammed against his prostate as it spurted out my load, and took a second to smile as I saw how that brought him off too.

“You are amazing,” I said to him honestly, as I leaned in to kiss him. “It’s like you opened up a whole new world to me.” I had fucked him all night long, fucked him like a thirsty man drinks at an oasis.

“Indeed? A whole new world?” he asked, proud of himself and his expertise, as well he should be.

“I’ve been agonizing over how shitty I was, how I was dangerous as a lover, and now you show me that I can actually be good, that I can fuck someone and make them enjoy it too. You’ve shown me that I can get laid.”

“Well, it is not so long that I cannot remember what it was like to be a young man, so that is truly a gift. It was always in you, you just now discovered it.”

“Or maybe it was in you?” I asked as I leered at him, making him giggle.

“In any event, we must get ready or Bradley will get crabby. Do you want to try to sneak across the hall in just your underwear?” he asked joking. The thought of being out there in the hall, almost naked, caused my dick to start swelling. “Oh no you do not,” he said, pushing me toward the door. “I will be sore enough.”

“You sure?” I asked, giving him my slutty look. It was so tight to see him stop and think about it. Instead, I grinned, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and pulled on my clothes. He led me out into the suite where Brad was waiting, giving us a dirty look.

“You slept with him?” he demanded of Stef.

Stef got pretty irritated pretty fast. “I do not appreciate your tone.”

“He’s not even 18 yet,” Brad said, moralizing. Before Stef could say anything else, he turned on me. “How do you think Will’s going to feel when he finds out you slept with his grandfather?”

I hadn’t really thought of that. I didn’t even think that might upset him, but I guess it could. “We’re just friends,” I said lamely.

“I see the way he looks at you. Is that what he thinks?” Brad demanded, pissed off. “He doesn’t need you breezing into his life and hurting him.”

I just stared at him, feeling guilty and stunned. Stefan was pissed off too, although I’m not sure at whom, or why. “Gathan, if I remember correctly, you were on your way over to your room to get cleaned up for the day. I think perhaps you should do that.”

“Sure Stef,” I said sheepishly, and dashed out of the room before Brad could lay any more guilt on me. I fumbled for my key, slid it in the lock, and was eternally grateful to see the green light flash. I went in and locked the door behind me, happy to be in my own sanctuary.

I looked at my watch, and it was already 10am here in New York. It was way earlier than that in California, but there was no way I was going to be able to face Brad or Stef until I talked to Will.

I dialed his number and wondered if he’d answer. He did, after the fifth ring. “’Sup,” he said groggily.

“Dude, sorry to wake you up, but I have to talk to you,” I told him. The tension in my voice, the urgency, woke him up quickly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your dad is hella pissed at me.”

“What did you do?”

“I slept with Stef,” I told him. I waited for him to say something, but there was silence. “I’m worried that, well, that would bother you.”

“Why would it bother me?” he asked, only it did. “We’re just friends.”

“I don’t know, but your dad seems to think it will. That’s why he’s pissed at me, for hurting you.”

“God damn it! He’s always in my shit, butting into my business.” Now he was pissed off, but not at me.

“Look Will, I really like you, we’re friends, and we had fun together. I figured it was the same for you. I mean, you and I both know there’s a whole bunch of reasons why we can’t have any commitments.” I paused for some sort of acknowledgment, but didn’t get one. I realized that he didn’t want to hear my rationalizations on why we couldn’t be a couple; he wanted me to try to make him feel better about this. “I’m sorry I slept with Stef; I really didn’t mean to cause you problems or make you feel bad.”

“Why’d you do it?” he asked.

“You remember all that shit I told you?”

“Yeah,” he answered curiously.

“I told Stef about it, and he told me that I’d just been with inexperienced people, and that if I was with someone who knew what they were doing, I’d probably be just fine.”

“And then he seduced you?” he asked, almost laughing.

“No, actually I seduced him. It was really amazing, Will. It was like all of that time I kept thinking that I was a bum lay, and that I was out of control, and he showed me that I wasn’t, that I could control it, and that I could be good. I was on cloud nine until your dad reminded me that it was fucked up to mess around with a guy and then fuck his grandfather.”

“Most guys don’t have Stef for a grandfather,” he said, chuckling. Then his tone changed. “You didn’t tell him what we did, did you?”

“No,” I said, pissed off. “I told you I wouldn’t say anything, and I won’t. I told him that we’re just friends.”

“Dude, it bugs me that you did that, because it’s just fucked up, but that’s how my family is, and I’m not going to let it bother me. Don’t worry about it,” he said, giving me absolution.

“Thanks. I knew you’d understand, and I knew we’d be cool.” I was so relieved.

“Yeah, but there’s a price for my understanding,” he said, his voice getting all husky. “You’ll have to show me all this new stuff you learned.”

I laughed, trying to make it a joke. “Oh great, then your dad would have me thrown in jail for being a pedophile.”

“I seriously doubt that,” he said, and sounded determined. “Have fun in New York. I gotta run. I’ve got a phone call to make.”

“Thanks, dude,” I said, then we hung up. I went into the bathroom and took a long shower; letting the water soothe me, calm me down. Brad was right, it was wrong of me to get involved with Will in the first place, and it was wrong of me to not even think about him. I started to get ready, putting my clothes on carefully, all the while pondering this situation. I’d let my dick totally rule me, take me to a place I shouldn’t have gone, just like I’d done before. This time, I almost hurt someone again, not physically, but emotionally. I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw a toxic person.

Maybe the problem was that I was hanging around in a world I didn’t belong in. Maybe if I just went back to Claremont and partied with my friends, I wouldn’t have these problems. Then again, this all started with Zach, so that wasn’t true either. Maybe I should just run off and wander the country, fucking random people, people who didn’t care about me, and who I didn’t give a shit about. Maybe that’s what I needed to do to figure out who I was, and why I was this way. I slipped on my jacket and headed back to the suite, the feelings of dread overwhelming me.

The main room was empty, so I wandered over to Stef’s door and knocked softly. “Come in,” he snapped. I peeked in nervously.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“You were not thinking with your head,” he said, smiling at me, and then he got more serious. “I did not know you had a relationship with Will.”

“I don’t have a relationship with Will. We’re friends, we hung out, and I like him.”

“I understand, but I think he has a substantial crush on you,” he said, with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m older than him, and that makes me cool. In a few years, I won’t be. That’s all it is.”

“I am not so sure, but I think he will be fine. He is talking to his father right now.”

“He called Brad?”

“Evidently you called in reinforcements,” he said with an evil grin. “Will is one of the few people who can snap Brad back into line pretty quickly.”

“I don’t get it. I mean, you’d think he’d want me to stay away from his son, since I’m older than he is. Instead, he acts all pissed off like I’m cheating on him.”

“You are most fortunate in that Brad views Will’s age not based on how long he has been on this earth, but as a representation of his maturity.”

“So he’s OK with it if I fly out to Cali and fuck his son?” I asked, joking.

“I am not sure that is quite where he is at,” Stef said, laughing. “Let us go out and see if Will has changed Brad’s attitude.”

We went out and ordered room service for breakfast and then sat there, me reading the paper while Stef looked through some documents.

    

July 7, 2000

Malibu, CA

Will

I hung up the phone, trying not to let the whole situation bother me. Why did every dude I hook up with run off and fuck someone else? I knew Gathan thought of me as nothing more than a friend, but for me it was more than that. How could I not fall for a sexy blond guy like him, with his amazing charm? And his big dick, I thought with a grin. I’d lied to him when I told him it didn’t bother me, that his fucking around with Stef didn’t hurt my feelings, but the hurt I felt over that was nothing compared to how I’d felt when Drew left, or when John fucked Zach. This was the kind of pain I could handle; it would bug me for the rest of the day, then I’d be over it. Besides, he slept with Stef, and didn’t everyone sleep with Stef?

That wasn’t the emotion that consumed me, though. The emotion that was consuming me was anger: anger at my father. I loved him, he was the most important person in the world to me, but it really pissed me off that he’d jumped in and interfered in my life. I was dialing his number even as I thought about that, knowing that I had to nip this in the bud right now.

“Hello,” he said, answering the phone curtly. He was trying to warn me that he was annoyed with me.

“Hello,” I said back, just as curtly, to tell him that he wasn’t the only one who was pissed off. “I heard you created a scene with Gathan.”

“He called you to whine that I was mean to him?” my dad asked.

“No, he called me to make sure my feelings weren’t hurt,” I snapped.

“Were they?”

“I’m just fine,” I said, trying to calm down but failing miserably. “I don’t need you jumping in and interfering with my love life.”

“You’re a 13-year-old boy. I have an obligation and a right to interfere.”

“I’m almost 14, and you’re just trying to control me like you control everyone else,” I told him rudely. I knew that would freak him out, since he’d been called out by Pop and by my mom for doing just that.

“I do not try to control you,” he said. “You’re messing around with a guy who’s almost 18.”

“Who says I’m messing around with him? We’re friends. You trying to tell me that you think you can decide who my friends are?”

“Will, you and I both know he’s more to you than just a friend.”

“Dad, he’s a nice guy, he’s cute, and I like him. The last thing he needs is you jumping all over him for something that isn’t a big deal. You don’t even know the whole story.”

“Maybe that’s because you never tell me anything. You used to talk to me, but ever since you got pissed at John, you’re like a closed book.” That was it, I thought to myself. All of this was his trying to deal with the fact that I didn’t tell him what was going on with John.

“Maybe, that’s because when I tell you something, you try to take over and solve the problem. Maybe if I tell you shit, I know that I won’t be able to handle it my own way. Maybe I’m worried that you’ll fuck things up worse than I already have. Maybe this is an example of how you’d do that.” I was starting to lose my temper, and my voice was getting louder.

“I’m not trying to run your life,” he said, but even he didn’t sound convinced by his statement.

“No?” I challenged. “Sounds like it to me.”

“Well forgive me for caring,” he said. Now he was being bitchy. I knew exactly how this would play out. He’d finally see where I was coming from, but then he’d make me feel guilty for making my point.

“You must think I’m a complete idiot.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You think I’m not smart enough to figure things out, and deal with them. Don’t you think that if I was in over my head, I’d ask you for help?”

“I used to think that you would, but now I’m not so sure.” He was talking about my deal with John.

“If you’re not sure, it’s because you’re convincing me with the way you act that I shouldn’t come to you. Look at what you’re doing right now. Instead of talking to me about this, you just jump all over Gathan and Stef. If I was pissed off, wouldn’t that be my job?”

“You’re telling me it didn’t hurt your feelings when Gathan slept with Stefan?”

“That’s not the point. The point is that it’s my choice to make a big deal about it, not yours.” I knew I had to make sure he got this point. He was a strong person, and if I didn’t get through to him now, he’d be in my shit for the rest of my life.

“I was just watching out for you,” he said sheepishly. When his tone changed like that, I knew I was getting my point across.

“Dad, I know you’re in my corner. But it’s my life, and I have to live it. Not you.”

There was a long pause as he digested that. “Maybe we can talk about this when I get home.”

“As long as you don’t kill Gathan in the meantime,” I said, joking to try and take the edge off.

“Well, it seems it’s not my job to get all pissed off at him,” he said, letting me know that he heard me.

We hung up our phones and I walked over to my window to check out the surf. It was foggy, and that made it look a little dreary, but that was just fine with me. That would keep the Valley assholes away. They were the people that lived in the San Fernando Valley, the ones who would come over here for the day to enjoy the beach. But they were usually loud and obnoxious, their cars would clog up the streets, and they’d spend a lot of time staring at houses and windows, trying to figure out if celebrities lived there. What was more important to me than the dreariness were the waves, and they were looking sweet today. I rushed downstairs to put my wetsuit on, to enjoy my hobby and to forget about all these men in my life that were a big pain in the ass.

    

July 7, 2000

New York, NY

Gathan

Brad came out of his room, not looking pissed, but looking determined. He walked over to the table and sat down across from me. “It’s been explained to me that this is not my issue to interfere in.” I saw Stef try not to chuckle. “We’ll be cool, you and I, with one condition.”

“I get to sleep with you too?” I asked, trying to joke and lighten things up.

He smiled at me, a fake smile, to pretend to lighten up the mood. “No.”

“Alright, what’s this condition?”

“I want you to go see someone when you get to Paly. He’s a psychologist.”

“You want me to go see a shrink?” I demanded, my outrage growing with every word.

“This is a guy who has helped Robbie, and, uh, other, uh, people important to me,” he said softly, trying to calm me down. I wondered who else was going to see the shrink. “I think you could use someone to talk to.”

“You must think I’m really fucked up.”

“Gathan, Brad is asking you to do this for your own good. I happen to agree with him,” Stef said. The concern, the caring in his voice, was like a balm that soothed my initial irritation.

“But I do think you’re really fucked up,” Brad said, joking for real this time.

“Yeah, look who’s talking,” I shot back. “How come you don’t have a shrink?”

“That is a very good question,” Stef said, teasing him.

“I tell Robbie all my problems. That fucks him up so bad; he’s the one who goes to see the shrink.”

Stef chuckled, and then moved in for the kill. “So Will did not appreciate your interference in his life?”

Brad frowned. “I wasn’t interfering.” We both just looked at him. He sighed. “Ever since this thing with John, he’s shut me out. It worries me that I don’t know what’s going on with him.”

“He’s not into drugs, or kinky shit,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“You do not like it when there are secrets you do not know about,” Stef said to him. “I think that is something you will have to deal with now that JJ and Will are getting older. They will break you of that habit, or you will indeed end up in counseling.” Everything Stef said made him seem so smart.

“Did someone control your life when you were younger?” I asked Brad. Stef started laughing and Brad glared at him, which made Stef laugh even harder.

“No.”

“I wonder how you would have reacted if they had?”

“I suspect Bradley would have called that unfortunate individual and given him or her an earful,” Stef said after he finally finished laughing. “Not even Tonto would have been that bold.” I knew that Tonto was Stef’s grandmother; she had a reputation as being a real powerhouse.

Brad gave him a dirty look and changed the subject. “We have to meet with some bankers. Shouldn’t we go over these numbers?” Brad asked.

“I think that you can meet with the bankers,” Stef said. “I would like to do some shopping.”

“Guess that means you’re going shopping,” Brad said to me.

“Guess so,” I told him. “There will be a car out front to take you to the bank. I’ll call and get another one for us,” I said, as I got up and headed to get my file on New York.

“Do we have a deal?” Brad asked me.

I thought about that a little more deeply. It would probably be a good idea for me to talk to someone about all this shit I was dealing with. Maybe he could help me. Besides, I sure as fuck didn’t want to get on Brad’s bad side. The dude just oozed power. “Deal,” I said, holding out my hand. He shook it, and then strode confidently out the door.

“I wish JP could have witnessed that. He would have enjoyed it,” Stef said.

“Why?”

“Bradley likes to challenge his authority, something he has done since he was about Will’s age. It would be fun for JP to see Brad deal with it.”

“Did JP handle things better than Brad?”

Stef smiled. “I think that he handled things better than Brad did so far, but Brad can learn from his miscalculations. I think this will be good for him, and good for Will.”

After that, we finished up our breakfast and headed out on the town. We spent our day shopping, which turned out to be a real boon for me, since Stef bought me all kinds of clothes. That night, the three of us went to see a play on Broadway, and then I talked Stef into letting me fuck him again. And again. And again.

July 7, 2000

Malibu, CA

Will

The whole day had turned out to be kind of a letdown. The waves had been OK at first, but then they’d died in the afternoon when the sun burned through the morning fog. I’d decided to head inside after that and had walked by a bunch of sunbathing Valley dudes. One of them decided that I’d kicked sand on him and had gotten up to start a fight. He was a big guy, and kind of cute, but he backed down pretty fucking fast when my security guard showed up and threatened to pound him into the sand. Sometimes having those guys around was a good thing.

I’d hung around with JJ in the afternoon. He was fun to be around when it was just the two of us, and when he wasn’t being bitchy. He used to be this cheerful, bubbly kid, but ever since he started figure skating and had gotten really good at it, he’d gotten this attitude. It was the same attitude I’d run into when I met a guy or girl my age who was in the movies or on TV. It’s like their egos suddenly grew like a thousand times. That’s why when it was just the two of us it was cool, since JJ knew better than to give me that bullshit diva routine. I kind of expected him to give me shit about Gathan, but I guess he decided not to go there. He’d wait to bring it up until we were with other people and he wanted to piss me off.

I booted up my computer, logged on to the internet, and went to our website: www.escorial.com. My Uncle Jack, John’s dad, had set it up as a place for our family and friends to go and chat with each other, and he’d named it after my grandfather’s estate in Palo Alto. That made sense, since it was kind of like the geographic core of our family. Even though he was this totally serious doctor, Jack was a totally cool guy, kind of like a kid himself, so it was just like him to do something like this, to embrace the modern era of the internet. That and I think he was nervous about us getting into trouble if we tried to interact with each other on some other place, like AOL.

There was a chatroom set up there called “The Lair,” a room that John and I had set up for just the two of us. I looked at the link on my computer and felt the sadness envelop me, the sadness from not being friends with John. I just didn’t get him. I mean, we made a deal, and he broke it. Maybe Gathan was right. Maybe I was overreacting to this whole thing, but I wasn’t so sure. When I made a promise or a commitment, I stuck to it. My dad had always said that a man’s word is his bond, and to me, that’s just the way things were. Sure, it was easy to give in and fuck around with someone, but when you said you wouldn’t, you shouldn’t.

I’d watched Dad and Pop almost ruin their relationship over shit like that, over not handling commitments well, and I determined that I’d never do that. I swore that if I made a promise to someone, I’d keep it. That’s why when Zach hit on me, it just pissed me off. It pissed me off because he knew I wouldn’t do it, because I’d told him that I made that commitment to John, and it pissed me off because he was so fucking cute and so fucking sexy that he’d stretched my willpower to the maximum. But John was that important to me, and I wasn’t going to hurt him like that. I guess I wasn’t that important to John.

I saw the link to The Lair flash to show someone was in there, and when I expanded the listing, I saw that it was John. He was really the only person it could be, since it was our room. I’d seen him there before, and I’d avoided him, but I missed him. Maybe we couldn’t be in love, maybe that wouldn’t work for us, but he was my best friend after my dad. I clicked on the link and entered the room.

JOHN: Hey.

WILL: Hey.

JOHN: What are you doing in here?

WILL: I saw you in here.

JOHN: You talking to me now?

WILL: Why were you in here?

JOHN: I was hoping you’d decide to come in here.

WILL: Your lucky day then. LOL. I did.

JOHN: It is my lucky day. My mom’s heading down to LA on Sunday.

WILL: Cool. She coming here?

JOHN: I don’t know. Maybe.

WILL: You coming with her?

JOHN: She’s going shopping, and to some charity thing. I’d be bored shitless.

WILL: Not to hang with her, dumbshit. To hang out here.

JOHN: I dunno. You want me to?

WILL: Yeah.

JOHN: Really?

WILL: Yeah.

JOHN: K. Cya Sunday.

WILL: Cya.

I logged off of the internet and shut down my computer. I could see my smile reflected back at me from the blank screen. Sometimes people make mistakes. I guess it’s important to forgive them when they do. That’s the thing with John, though. He hadn’t asked me to do that. He hadn’t said he was sorry, or even acted like he was sorry. He’d just gotten pissed at me for interrupting his fuck. The thought of that made my smile fade again. Sunday would be an interesting day.