Red Gold - 18. Chapter 18 - Coming Home

There was something in the way he said it that made both Ben and Gabrielle turn to the road and peer into the distance. It was a full five minutes before they heard the sound of horses and longer still before they came into sight, two horses, riding at full gallop.

Gabrielle and Ben immediately got to their feet and stood at the side of the road, waving their arms. The horses came to a skidding halt, raising a cloud of dust as their riders, not waiting for the horses to be still vaulted from the saddles.

It was a man and a woman, middle aged but still vibrant, still vigorous. The man was strong and stern and Gabrielle felt immediate respect for him. He put a hand on her shoulder briefly, his eyes full of feeling and then he turned away. The woman lingered, torn. Clearly she wanted to go to Cai, why would she not he was her son? But there was immeasurable tenderness in her eyes for Gabrielle and, in the end she set aside her own longing for what she saw in her foster daughter.

“My dear one. It has been so long. You have come home at last.” Gabrielle was wrapped in a warm embrace which smelled of smoke and spice and home. And she wept. “Come now, my dear, be strong. You are home and everything will be alright.”

The woman put her off a little and looked into her face with shining love. “You have grown so tall and so beautiful. I knew you would be beautiful but in my heart you have stayed five years old. How can I believe that this woman so tall and so beautiful could be my own dear one.” Despite herself her eyes were inexorably drawn to where Cai, with the help of his father had drawn himself to his feet and was standing with his back against the tree, a look of fierce love and pride in his eyes. “And my son….. the child of my heart…… is a man.”

“Forgive me. I hadn’t realised how much I missed you until I saw you again. I had forgotten.”

“Of course you had, my dear. Of course. It is only right that it should have been so.” she turned to Ben and frowned. “And who is this fine man? Is he your boy? You should not have brought him here.”

“No, he is just a friend. He is a healer from my….. from the other place. He has helped Cai.”

Her face clearing the woman smiled warmly at Ben and held out her hand to him, clasping his arm warmly. “Then I have nothing but thanks for you. Welcome healer.” Ben smiled shyly.

“We must be getting back, dear. The shadows are lengthening already and we will not all be able to ride.”

“Take Ca’el with you. I will lead Tiama and the children and we will be home before the sun sets.”

“Are you sure, light of my heart? Then make haste, although I suspect there will be others on their way to meet you on the road. It is not every day that hope flares in these dark days and here hope is flaring so brightly that I can barely bear to look.”

With his father’s help Cai managed to get to the horse and was hauled up to sit before him encircled by strong arms which held the reigns so casually they might almost not have been there. Before there was even a chance for Cai and Gabrielle to say goodbye the horse had wheeled in the road and was gone. The last thing she saw was the flying red gold hair of both father and son and then they were gone and she felt suddenly empty.

Fortunately Gabrielle was not given the opportunity to brood as the woman linked arms with her drew her into the road where they began to bustle along at a good place. Whilst they walked the woman kept up a steady stream of questions about Gabrielle’s life, the world she had lived in and brought Ben into the picture as much as she could.

The miles passed under their feet as the sun moved slowly across the sky. Around them the scenery slowly changes as the trees thinned and then fell away to an open plain with mountains in the distance. Across the plain, in the foothills of the mountains the river they had forded the previous day began its meandering course in a thick deep wood and, as they drew closer they saw sunlight sparking on a large lake around the banks of which spirals of smoke rose into the clear air.

“Minarvon.” Gabrielle surprised herself by speaking the word aloud.

“That’s right, my dear. It is very much as you remember it. Little changes here.” There was a note of sadness and regret in her voice even as she spoke encouragingly. “We have sent word to the castle so I would think that your father will be there to meet you or at least will have sent someone to bring you to him.”

“What? No, I… I can’t go anywhere.”

“Don’t be foolish child. Why would you not want to go to your father?”

“I don’t know him. I barely remember YOU but I do, I do remember the time I spent with you. I knew nothing of this place until a few days ago…. at least I remembered nothing of it. My life has been spent somewhere else, in a different place, a different life. I don’t belong here, not yet. I need to be with people I know and trust. I can’t go to someone I don’t know and I can’t…. I can’t…”

Gabrielle had stopped walking and was facing the woman with pleading eyes and anguished face.

“My dear, I understand, of course I do. This is hard for you, it was always going to be. But we are not your family and we never were. Your future, your destiny does not lie with us. It never has.” She gave her a searching look and patted her arm. “It would be better for you in the long term if you went straight back to where you belong. It would be better if you did not come to the village at all.”

“No! No, I can’t do that. Don’t ask that of me? Cai….. I need to be with him. I need to know that he is going to be alright. I…. I…. promised.”

The woman’s look turned hard. “Even more so I think that it would be better if you did not come to the village.”

“But you don’t understand. Please. Don’t do this to me. He said that you might do this. He was so afraid. But I promised. I won’t leave him. You can’t make me, no one can make me. I love him. Do you understand?”

“Stop!” the voice was so cold and sharp, so different to the gentle encouraging tones that she had become used to that it stunned Gabrielle into silence instantly. “This cannot be. I will have words with my daughter that she has allowed this to be. She was expressly instructed that there should be no contact until the time that you should return, that there should be no friendship, no chance for love to grow. I saw it in you even when you were children. He worshipped you and I told her that she must prevent it growing at all costs.”

“Don’t be angry with Lee, it wasn’t her fault. She did try. She really did. She tried very hard and she was very angry with both of us but by the time she found out it was too late.”

“Tell me that my son has not given you his heart. Tell me that this is not so.”

Gabrielle shook her head. “I can’t because it is so. He has given more than his heart, he loves me heart and soul and I love him.”

“Then I despair. You must understand that this was not meant to happen. I trusted my daughter to keep you apart and to teach him his duty and, in particular his obligations and position with regard to you. You are not meant for him. You never were.”

“He said that you would say that, well not you personally but that it would be said. He said that we would be kept apart because I am a princess and too good for him. But that is not true. If anything it is he who is too good for me. I don’t care what our ‘positions’ are. There is only one position I want and that is at his side.”

The angry, cold look melted and an expression of terrible sadness took its place. The woman took Gabrielle’s hands in her own. “My dear, you must put this from your mind and from your heart. This cannot be. You cannot be with him. No…” forestalling the retort she continued. “This whole country has been in thrall for these many years. Your own mother fell to our enemy on the day you were born. For so long it has appeared that there was no hope for us not then, not now, not ever.

“And then, at terrible risk to herself, your mother rode out of Avalonia under a cloud of concealment that cost many people to sicken and some to die in the making. She travelled to Seline, which is a nearby country where they have many sorcerers of their own, an army of trained knights, a chance my dear, a chance for us to fight back and throw off the yoke of oppression for ever, to move out from under this cloud that had sickened us and broken us over the years.

“She went on a diplomatic mission and she succeeded. She bought us hope, a chance of a future for our children, our people. But there was a price.”

“A…. a price?” Gabrielle’s eyes were misty with fear and with love for her mother and what she had felt when she remembered her demise and the feelings she had shared of love for her father and her people.

“Yes, my dear, a price and the price was you. The king of Seline has a son, he is a year or so older than you and the promised alliance was sealed with your betrothal to him. With your marriage to the Prince of Seline you buy a future for your people.”

Gabrielle swayed and would have fallen if Ben had not been at her side supporting her.

“No” the word was whispered.

“I am sorry my dear. So sorry that I had to be the one to tell you in this way.”

“Did Lee know?”

“No, all she knew was the instructions she received that any sign of friendship between her brother and you should be extinguished at all costs and that on no account should any relationship be allowed to flourish. Lee was so convinced that you would betray him she was bitter and angry towards you from the start and I had no doubt that she would keep you apart from her own desires as well as from the instructions she was given.”

“Oh, she did try believe me, she did try. All we have ever had is brief snatches over many years. And then….. in the last few days…. He is ….. “ she bowed her head. “I did betray him. Almost to his death. I gave his name to the enemy.” at the hiss of indrawn breath she jerked her head up again and forced herself to look into the stunned eyes “I swear I didn’t mean to. I had forgotten everything about this place. I had forgotten. Where I come from…. where I was living then names have very little power, they are used carelessly and I didn’t listen, I didn’t believe.

“I betrayed him three times, but in doing that I came to realise that I loved him. I love him beyond anything, beyond my own life, my own soul. My life is nothing without him, I am an empty shell filled with bitterness and I will walk every day of my life mourning what I could have had with him.

“But I know; I have always known that there is something that I love more… that I have always loved more without even knowing that it existed. And that is my land, my people. I would not bring about their demise for selfish reasons even if it means walking away from the one thing that has ever or will ever give my life meaning. I will go to the castle and I will marry the prince and I will be a dutiful wife and he will have everything from me that I am able to give…. but my heart will always reside….. somewhere else.”

Tears were flowing down her cheeks but she held her head high and proud. Pulling her hands away she began to walk towards the village with long purposeful strides.

“This is cruel. She does love him, you should know that. They are not playing at this. It will break both their hearts.”

“This is life here healer man. We all have our duties to perform whether they are pleasant or deadly.” And so saying she clicked her teeth at the horse who had wandered off to find grazing and who now trotted over to her like a dog and strode after Gabrielle leaving Ben with a bitter taste in his mouth and a longing for home.

As the woman had predicted when they reached the outskirts of the village they were met by a large fair haired man leading a pure white horse. Both the man and the horse were bedecked with more gold and fancy embroidery than Gabrielle had ever seen. When he saw her the man strode forwards, tears on his handsome cheeks and enfolded her in a bearlike embrace.

“Sou Shan, my child. You are so like your mother that it tears at my heart to look at you. All these years I feared that I would never see you again. And now you are here, in my arms.” Gabrielle stood stiff in his embrace, her face, tear streaked and expressionless. Seemingly unaware the man turned to her guide and embraced her warmly. “I will never be able to offer enough thanks to your family for what you have done for me. You have taken my daughter to your breast and your children have been companions and protectors to her, keeping her safe all of these years. You will be rewarded. Whatever it is in my power to give shall be yours.”

“All we ask is a future for our children, a life for our land. Our wishes are the same as yours, My Liege; our reward the fulfilment of the covenant.”

“Indeed.” He was grave and solemn now. “And fulfilled it shall be, as was written so shall it be. My wife, the only one who gave my life meaning, gave hers so that the covenant could be forged and in its fulfilment will her life and her sacrifice me given the meaning and honour she deserves.

“The royal party from Seline are already settled at the castle, settled and becoming impatient if the truth be told. There are only so many reassurances that can be given of the existence and the imminent arrival of a princess who disappeared from this world so many years ago. The Prince is almost beside himself. There will be a ball tonight in their honour when the betrothal shall be confirmed and on the day of Sou Shan’s twenty first birthday, as was agreed, the wedding shall take place.

“It shall be a public event and your family shall be guests of honour, honoured in every way. On the following day war shall be declared. There is an army camped beneath the ramparts and already three mages prepare their war spells in the tower. Within the month we shall be free and our wishes shall be granted, our reward received.”

Gabrielle did not listen to the speech, the formality confused her and there was only three things that held her attention, all three tearing to shreds and heart already torn and broken. The Prince of Seline was here, waiting for her. Tonight she would have to sit at a banquet and dance at a ball with a man she didn’t know and didn’t want to know and she would have to amuse him and flirt with him and please him. In less than a week she would be marrying him and Cai’s family, as the heads of the major settlement and orchestrators of her escape and care would be there.

Would Leelany be there, smirking at her with triumph in her eyes, her superiority crushing and her victory worn as a badge of contempt? Would Cai be there? No, that could not be. He would not be. She realised that his mother had been right, very right. It WAS best that she leave immediately for the castle for if she once set eyes on Cai again she would not be able to leave him no matter what the cost, what duty she would be setting aside.

“It would be our honour My Liege.”

“Father...” the word sounded bitter and strange to her ears but she pressed on before her courage deserted her. “I would wish to be taken home now. I have travelled far and I am very tired. If I am to preside at a ball tonight I will need time to prepare.”

“Of course, my child. I am being thoughtless in this. Is there a horse you could lend her Mirabele?”

“But of course, My Liege. It would be my honour if Sou Shan should take Tiama. She is well trained and will let no one fall from her back no matter what their skill.”

“One moment father. I wish to take my leave of my friend. He has travelled far with us and has been a true companion.”

“Of course, take what time you need, I shall retire and speak with Mirabele and when you are ready we shall go home.”

Gabrielle turned to Ben her eyes filled with tears. “Home? Who am I kidding? I have no home now.”

“You will find one Gabrielle. You will make one for yourself. I know that. You are the strongest woman I have ever met. You will be alright.”

“Will you come to the castle with me?”

“No….. I am not a castle person, I never was. I will stay here and I will take care of Cai. I will stay with him until he is well and strong and then I will see. It may be that I, too can make a home here. God that speech cadence is infectious isn’t it. I am already talking like them. No, I mean… on the journey the talks I had with Lee about the medicine in this place. It is not as primitive as I had thought it would be. I think that when I get the opportunity to talk to the healers here we will both find that we have a lot to teach and a lot to learn. I think that the challenge will be greater than any I could find at home.”

“Will you ever go back?”

“Maybe, some day. I don’t know. This is a land of opportunity, or so it seems to me. I have felt more alive since I have been here than I ever have in my life. We’ll see.”

“Will you visit me some time?”

“Try and keep me away.”

“Will you come to the wedding?”

“I doubt I will be invited.”

“I will make sure that you are invited. Please Ben, you are all I have to hold on to, the only familiar face in this place. You are a friend, the only one I have here….. at least the only one I am allowed to have. I don’t think I can go through with it unless there is least one person there who understands.”

“If it means that much to you then of course I will be there.”

“Will you promise me something?”

“It’s about Cai isn’t it?”

“How did you know?”

“I saw it in your eyes. Just don’t ask me to lie to him.”

“Again, you are a mind reader. Ben, if Cai knows I am unhappy, if he realises how much this has cost me, how much I still love him and how much pain I am in because of what is happening then he will keep hoping, he will try to reach me and he will be hurt even more. Tell him that I am happy and excited by my new position. Tell him that I am a silly conceited girl who had her head turned by finery and a handsome prince….at least I hope he is handsome…. Whatever you do don’t tell him that my heart broke right here and right now and can never ever be repaired, that the only man I have ever or will ever love is the one I cannot have. Don’t tell him that losing him killed every iota of joy in my soul. Don’t tell him that Ben.”

“I can promise you that, at least Gabrielle. I suppose I should start calling you Sou Shan now.”

“No, to you I will always be Gabrielle. Gabrielle was happy, even if only for a short time and you can keep her safe for my, maybe one day we can talk about the day you took her for coffee in the grotty hospital canteen and you might even see her smile again although, at this moment I cant believe that you will.”

“Don’t worry, I will see your smile Gabrielle. I will keep it with me and care for it and one day I will return it to you.”

“Thank you. Now, I must go. I have a destiny to face, a prince to meet and a ball to prepare for. Lucky me.”