Red Gold - 20. Chapter 20 - Prince Charming

In other circumstances she might have found it easy to fall in love with Orien. He was beautiful, courteous, gentle, attentive in a kind and interested rather than forced and overbearing way, intelligent and witty. Conversation was easy and he seemed genuinely interested in her life before.

After that first glance the sadness had been efficiently masked and Gabrielle saw no further sign of it. And yet, out of the corner of her eye she often caught a certain pause, a sagging of the shoulder, a glimmer in the eye that spoke of sorrow buried deep but not deep enough. And throughout the evening whenever she happened to glance to her right Princess Serena would be looking at her, the venom in her eyes diminishing not one whit.

Despite her nerves and her acute awareness that every eye in the room was on her Gabrielle found herself having a good time. The food was amazingly good and the company, with her father on one side and Prince Orien on the other, was convivial.

After the meal there was music from live performers which was surprising in that, although much of it was alien there were phrases and styles she almost recognised.

As soon as the music began the floor in front of the dais became a whirl of flying skirts and dancing bodies. Gabrielle knew none of the dances but was content to watch in fascination. Orien amused her by making up stories about the people who flashed past them, none of whom he knew.

“And that one over there, the one with the purple doublet that is almost the same colour as his face. He is having a torrid affair with a serving girl but he does not know that his wife has found out and has purchased a rare and dangerous drug which she is feeding him through his nightly glass of mead and is turning him slowly into a prune.”

Gabrielle thought that her dress would split she laughed so much. Glancing over she was gratified to see that Orien’s eyes were sparkling with laughter and held no trace of their previous sorrow. One day, when she knew him better she would ask him why he was so sad.

The mead that they were drinking from crystal goblets was kept topped up by soft footed and unobtrusive servants so that Gabrielle did not know how much she was drinking. She became more and more animated, the laughter from the floor seemed to be getting louder and louder and suddenly she realised that she was very hot, very flushed and very drunk.

“Am I making a fool of myself?”

“In what way My Lady?”

Orien’s eyes were twinkling with suppressed laughter.

“I think I may be drunk. I am not used to strong drink.”

“I see that My Lady. Would you like to take some air?”

“I’m not sure I can walk. I might fall down.”

“Have no fear. I would never let you fall.”

Giggling like a schoolgirl Gabrielle stood up, with Orien at her elbow and allowed him to help her down from the dais and to put his arm around her waist supporting her as they wove through the whirling dancers. Everything was a whirl of colour and movement which made Gabrielle’s head spin. If it was not for the strong arm around her, supporting her, she would have fallen.

Once outside the hall Orien led her around the passage to the stairs. Underneath the steps, tucked away was a door which he opened and helped her through. They were outside, but not in the courtyard. This was a secluded garden, filled with the scent of roses and the sound of tinkling fountains.

Carefully he led her along a meandering path to where an ornate wrought iron bench was half hidden beneath the boughs of a willow tree next to a pool. The cool evening air had cleared her head a little and she was able to look around her appreciatively as she sank gratefully down onto the bench.

Orien did not sit with her but stood close by, staring out over the water of the pool looking thoughtful.

“Thank you.”

“You have nothing to thank me for, My Lady.”

“You could have let me make an absolute fool of myself in there, or you could have taken me out into the courtyard for everyone to gawk and giggle at.”

“And what kind of repayment would that be for the hospitality and kindness your father has shown to myself and my family since we have been here?”

“I have a feeling that would not have been something that would have occurred to your sister.”

“Serena, I….don’t understand”

“I’ve seen the way she looks at me. She hates me. Why?”

“You mustn’t worry about Serena. She is …… protective of me. We are twins and have always been very close.”

“Does she think that you are marrying beneath you?” Gabrielle was shocked, herself, by the outrageousness of the comment. Orien was looking at her with the strangest expression in his eyes, and then he smiled, the sadness masked again, although there was still a hint of it in his voice.

“No, not at all, quite the reverse in fact. Do not worry about Serena. She is aware of her duty and will fulfil it as will we all.”

Suddenly all the pleasure went out of the evening and Gabrielle felt more lost and alone than she ever had. She was in the middle of a fairy tale with prince charming smiling at her with probably the most kissable lips she had ever seen and looking puzzled with probably the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen and she didn’t want to be here, she didn’t want to be with him, she didn’t want to kiss him because they were the wrong lips, the wrong eyes, he was the wrong man.

“I’m sorry Orien. I have drunk too much mead, that is all. You have been very… dutiful, but I think I would like to go inside now and I don’t think I want to return to the party.”

He had noticed the significant pause, had flinched at it but he didn’t respond to it.

“I think perhaps it would be good for you to sit here a while. It would not do for the guest of honour to slip away from the party too soon. The night is still young and I have not danced with you yet.”

“And you will not. I don’t know a single one of those dances and if I tried then I WOULD make a fool of myself.”

“Nonsense. Come I will show you.”

He turned and held out his hand to her and it seemed that it would be rude to deny him. Surely she could not make too much of a fool of herself here, in the darkness alone.

Facing her he put one arm around her waist and rested the other on her shoulder indicating for her to do the same.

“Close your eyes and listen to the music.”

“What music?”

“The music that is all around you. The wind in the trees, the fountains, the beat of your heart.”

Closing her eyes Gabrielle tried to find the music and it wasn’t too hard. Orien began to sway gently and expertly led her and spun her so that before she knew it they were whirling in the grass, their feet barely touching the blades. She opened her eyes and looked up into his face, laughing with delight at the headiness of the movement.

After a time Gabrielle ran out of breath and pulled away laughing and gasping. Forgetting herself she sank down onto the damp grass and lay back gazing up at the stars. It was strange. She was in a different world but the stars looked the same. Of course the constellations would be different but she had not been able to recognise them anyway so it made little difference.

“Do you think they are the same stars somehow. I mean they look the same. The sun is the same. Ben says some of the plants are different but I wouldn’t know.”

Orien sat down in the grass next to her, his knees drawn up, smiling indulgently. “You mean the world that you were in. I am afraid I do not know where that is. I cannot say if they are the same stars. But if not they are still stars and they are beautiful.”

They sat in silence for a time, staring at the stars feeling no need for conversation.

“Who is Ben?”

“He is someone I knew in the other place. He came with us by accident.”

“Is he here?”

“In the castle? No. He stayed in the village. He is a healer and he wanted to speak with the healers there to learn and to teach.”

“Were you…. close?”

“No. I barely knew him. To be honest I was close to very few. I never really felt I belonged there. I was always searching for something I could never find and now I know why.”

“Was there no one that you….. that you were… close to?”

“Not there, no.”

“Anywhere?” Gabrielle bit her lip. It was tempting to spill out her pain and longing to him. He was so gentle and so beautiful she somehow knew that he would understand but it was because he would understand that she knew she could not tell him. If she told him of her feelings for Cai then not only was she not certain that she would be able to control them and once spoken there was a good chance they would sweep her away and hang duty, but also that it would forever be there between them… the knowledge that it was only duty that held her. Even if love grew, and maybe it would, then neither of them would ever be entirely certain that it was wholeheartedly and unreservedly given.

“No, not really. Not anywhere.” Suddenly she was cold. “Come on, let’s go back in. It’s cold here. We can see if you can keep me from making a fool of myself in a simple dance.”

The rest of the night passed in a blur. Orien was very quiet, unlike his previous gregarious self and Gabrielle was too wrapped up in her pain to notice.

As soon as she could she took her leave and dragged her aching head and aching heart up the stairs to her room. Leaving her clothes in a pile in the middle of the floor she took time to scrub her face clean and tear the pearls from her hair before collapsing onto the bed and crying herself to sleep.

The next day she spent mainly in the company of Queen Farena and Princess Serena. It would have been a pleasant day if Serena had not been so cold, distant and critical of everything Gabrielle said or did. Her mother chided her often but it made no difference and, although she remained icily polite and proper throughout she never missed an opportunity to make Gabrielle feel uncomfortable and unwanted.

At the end of the day she had a small quiet tea with her father and Rehanna and for the first time since she had been alone on the previous day she began to relax. The king was delighted with the reports he had been getting of his daughter’s reception. Everyone who had laid eyes on her were enthralled by her beauty and everyone who had met her were enchanted with her personality.

He had noticed her slip from the ball with Orien and had noted her flushed cheeks and excited mood when she had returned and he was overjoyed at the thought that the marriage would not be a cold and empty one.

Over the next few days Gabrielle spent a lot of time with Prince Orien. He taught her to ride side saddle and they rode together every day. They talked and laughed and found that they had more in common than Gabrielle would ever have thought. He had a charming manner and was deferential and attentive, but, once their initial reserve had dissipated he displayed a wicked sense of humour that was at the least a match for her own so that they spent most of their time together in fits of laughter, usually to the confusion of those who were with them who could not keep up.

And yet there were times…. times when she felt that she would die from the pain in her heart. The more she got to know and to like Orien the more guilt she felt…. that she would never love him as she loved Cai and that she could be happy with him when he was not Cai. It seemed as though, at those times, Orien was more gentle with her, allowing her space and her moments of lonely reflection. And, there were times too when she looked into his eyes and saw her pain reflected there. Whether what she saw was simply an image of her own pain or something he was experiencing for himself she could not gauge.

The whole castle was busy with preparations for the wedding and she often found herself alone in the midst of the bustle. She actively avoided Serena and was horrified one day to find her at the bench in the garden she had begun to think of as her own special place. As soon as she saw her she immediately turned to leave but not quickly enough, Serena had seen her and, knowing they were alone took the opportunity she had been waiting for since her arrival.

Striding across the grass she interspersed herself between Gabrielle and the door.

“Don’t ever believe that you will make him love you. It is duty that holds him here and nothing more. The betrothal was not his idea and he didn’t even know about it until a few months ago. You have broken his heart and I will never forgive you, never. You will have his hand, there is nothing I can do about that, though I would have if I could, but you will never, never have his heart.”

The bitter words and icy look were too much for Gabrielle and with force that surprised even herself she twisted out of the hold and, her eyes spitting fire turned on her tormentor.

“Duty? You dare to speak to me of duty? Until a week ago not only did I not know of the betrothal but I did not know this place existed. I had a life. A very different life a million miles away. I had friends, a future, a….. I had dreams and now…… I have duty.

“Your brother is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful man I have ever met but never…. never believe that if I had the choice I would join myself to him. My heart was broken before he ever laid eyes on me and he is not the one to heal it. Yet I would not hurt him for the world and although it is duty that holds me to him it is friendship that will ensure he will never know that.

“If you wish to hate me for choosing my people over my heart, duty over happiness then go ahead but I have every intention of doing my very best to be a good wife to Orien, to make him happy if I can and if you sabotage that then it is you who will break his heart and not I.”

So that she did not see the tears in her eyes Gabrielle swung away from the stunned princess and was gone before Serena could begin to process what she had said.

Blinded by tears Gabrielle ran and did not stop running until she found herself again outside in the open air. With some surprise she found that she was in the stables. Calling to a stable hand she discovered that the horse Tiena was still there and, although she knew that it would probably be a bad idea she sought her out and stood leaning on the stall door stroking the velvet nose and thinking of the first time she had seen her, where she was and who she was with.

Tears ran down her face and she was glad there was no one there to see her.

Something caused her to turn and she cried out with joy at the appearance of a familiar figure standing in the shadows looking around uncertainly.

“Ben!”

Running across the stable yard Gabrielle flung herself into his arms and hugged him fiercely.

“What are you doing here? Have you decided to come and live in the castle after all? There are healers here too you know. You could learn and teach with them. Please say you will Ben. I am so lonely here…..” her word faltered and she pulled back and saw his face. “What is it? What has happened?”

“I probably shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry Gabrielle. I don’t want to make things harder for you but…. I thought you should know.”

“It’s Cai.” It wasn’t a question. She knew. But he nodded anyway.

“The healers are truly remarkable. They have done so much for him but…… He asked for you so many times. He couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t come. He was convinced that something had happened to you and he wanted to search for you. In the end Leelany told him the truth.”

It was as though he had hit her. Her legs grew weak and she swayed against him. Supporting her he guided her to a place near the wall where a stool had been set for some purpose. She sat down and took her head in her hands careless of the mud that clung to the delicate material of her dress.

“How…… how did he take it?”

“Badly. At first he would not believe it. He raged at her and….. Now he has withdrawn. He won’t eat, he doesn’t sleep and he won’t take his medicine. The healers have done what they can to heal his body but they cannot heal his spirit. He’s slipping away Gabrielle. He’s dying because he doesn’t want to live.”

“No. Ben, isn’t there anything you can do? Can’t you talk to him?”

“I have Gabrielle. I have talked to him until my throat bled but he doesn’t hear. He is lost in his pain. He doesn’t want to hear.”

“After all that….. She was right. Leelany. She was absolutely right. I did betray him to his death. I have.”

“Gabrielle, you can’t blame yourself. None of this is your fault.”

“Fault? No, maybe not. I would never have hurt him deliberately. But it was by doing nevertheless. It may not be my fault but it is my responsibility.” Suddenly she came to a decision. It had not been difficult. In fact it had been inevitable from the moment she had first set eyes on Ben.