Never Too Late To Change - 13. Trying Times

On Tuesday morning, Eric stood at the bus stop in the centre of town trying to make his mind up what to do next. He'd caught the early bus, so determined was he to be at the library when it opened. Now the problem was it meant he had an hour or so to kill. It was far too cold to be hanging around outside – sitting in the town's small park wasn't really an option. He decided instead to treat himself to a cup of tea and a bun, in celebration of him starting his computer course. Of course it wasn't going to be lessons with a proper teacher, but that's how he thought of it.

Eric crossed over the main road to the other side of the High Street and went down a narrow, cobbled lane to an old-fashioned café which he liked. He had no time for the fancy, over-priced, Americanised chains which inhabited the town's main shopping area. They didn't do proper tea, anyway. He opened the door and felt the warm, welcoming fug leaking out. As he went in, he noticed that several of the regulars were already in residence – mostly old codgers like himself. The owner, who wasn't that much younger than him, still greeted him warmly even though he wasn't that frequent a customer.

“Morning, Mr Whitehouse. You're early today. Nice sunny morning, isn't it? 'cept it's still bloody cold. That's December for you. What can I get you?”

Eric looked at the counter display of cakes and other sweet things. He fancied a snack despite having eaten breakfast not that long ago. “Err … Morning, Brian. Ehm … Cup of tea, thanks, and one of those.” He pointed at a large, iced Chelsea bun.

“Giving yourself a treat? Why not?”

Eric paid, then sat down at one of the unoccupied tables with its hard, upright seats. He usually only had a cuppa – good, strong tea with no pretensions and a price tag to match. He took off his cap and gloves, and balanced his stick against one of the other seats. He left his coat on as he was still feeling chilled to the bone.

He felt nervous, and that was after Andy's phone call before he left. The young man had phoned to wish him luck and to give him some much needed encouragement. Andy had made it sound so ordinary, so unthreatening. To him, it was still mildly terrifying, a real journey into the unknown. Not that he was going to change his mind or anything – he was determined to try as hard as he could …

Just as he craved the comfort of a hot cup of tea, the owner came across with his order. As Eric started to thank him, he suddenly felt the urge to share his adventure with someone else.

“Thanks, Brian. That's what I need. Ehm … I'm waiting for the library to open 'cause I'm going to learn how to use a computer. First time ever.”

The other man smiled at him. “Good for you. Once you get the hang of it, you'll wonder how you managed without the internet and everything. It's nothing to be frightened of. Many people regard it as essential to their lives. I do pretty much now.”

Eric immediately thought of Andy, Then he looked at Brian. The other man was very different from Andy. More like him.

Brian looked around for a moment to see if anyone else needed serving, then sat himself down at Eric's table. “One of my daughters has been living in Melbourne for ages now, and she spent forever pestering me to learn. It's been what, six years now? Didn't know one end of a keyboard from the other, or what a mouse was when I started.”

Eric put his cup of tea down in surprise. Someone else who'd been in his position … He was all ears as Brian continued.

“She paid for an Adult Ed. course and a computer – I know I was really lucky in that respect. Anyway, you should see me now. We Skype, email, share photos, post updates – it makes it so much easier to share in her life. We only get to see her and the children every few years. Even the missus learnt, and she was much more reluctant than I was. And it can be used for pretty much anything else you can think of – booking holidays, making friends, watching movies on demand, keeping up with whatever sort of news interests you … That for me means keeping up with the morris men. It even makes it easier for me to keep my accounts.”

Eric knew he was staring. Somehow he found it hard not to. The man opposite had started out as clueless as he was now, and had not only survived to tell the tale, but was clearly enjoying everything about it.

Brian looked round again, checking to see if any customer needed anything. He settled more into his seat. It looked as though he was ready to have a good talk. “Do you have family, Mr Whitehouse?”

Eric shook his head. “No, I've been on my own for most of my life.”

He had some distant cousins, but he could hardly remember their names, never mind where they lived. What should he say? His companion was obviously wondering what his reason was for exploring computers. He decided a version of the truth was probably safest.

“A friend thinks I'd benefit from learning. I enjoy reading and he says that there's much more choice out on the web.” He hurried on, hoping that he wouldn't get asked what kind of reading he was talking about. “And I've been around gardens most of my life ...”

The other man interrupted. “Of course, you've spent most of your working life on one estate or another. You'll be able to look round all sorts of gardens on the web, and not just in this country either.”

He looked as though he was going to continue, but the outside door opened. Two tall, well-muscled lads from the construction site nearby came in, talking loudly. All hi-vis, safety helmets, work boots, they turned most heads, if only for a moment.

The owner got up out of his seat. “Morning, lads. I'll be with you in one moment. Your usual, is it?”

They both nodded and sat down, phones out, eyes glued to screens.

He turned back to Eric. “No rest for the wicked … That new housing development's been a godsend – they don't have the time to go to the other places. I'll need to get cooking – they'll want a bacon and sausage roll each. Right, well, I hope you have a good time. If you need any help with anything, you know where I am.”

Eric looked up at him and smiled. He felt he'd suddenly gained a friend – a most unexpected friend.

“Hmm … I'm not sure a 'good time' will come into it. I think it's going to be hard work, but I'm determined to give it my best. Anyway, thanks for the offer, that's very kind of you. In fact, how about you call me Eric? Mr Whitehouse makes me sound as though I should be dressed in a suit or something.”

“It's been a pleasure, Eric. Now you'll have to excuse me.” The café owner bustled off, and disappeared behind the counter to get the food ready.

Eric looked across to the old-fashioned wall clock behind the serving counter. It was nearly time. He planned on being there when the library opened. The Chelsea bun was still sitting on its plate – he hadn't liked to eat it while he and Brian were having their talk. He wasn't going to waste his money though. Eric ate it as quickly as possible and gulped down the lukewarm tea before he sorted himself for going outside again.

He arrived at the library a little out of breath. After resting on his stick for a moment, he went inside. All the computers already had someone sitting in front of them, staring at the screen or tapping away on the keyboard. That was something he hadn't bargained for. Neither had Andy, otherwise he'd have warned him. Eric stood where he was, wondering what on Earth he should do now? Was it worth waiting? He didn't know if there was a queue or anything.

One of the regular library volunteers saw him and approached, wondering if he needed help. “You OK, Mr Whitehouse? This isn't your usual time of day, is it?”

Him and his bloody routines. Eric sighed inwardly, then concentrated on answering her question. “I … err … Yes, I'm fine. I've ehm … I've come to learn about computers, but they're all in use.”

The woman flashed him a brief smile and rolled her eyes. “We keep telling the management that six computers aren't enough. Sorry. They're only allowed two hours a day, so if you're prepared to wait, it shouldn't be too long. In fact, it might be best if you booked one, just to be sure.”

Eric looked blankly back at her. She turned round and pointed in the direction of the self-service kiosks.

“There – you just need your library card and your PIN. I'd show you, but a class of six year-olds arrived a couple of minutes before you and it's all hands on deck.” She hurried off in the direction of the children's area, leaving him there.

Eric fumbled around in the pockets of his overcoat until he found his library card. What the hell was a PIN? Finally, he dredged up the memory of being given a small piece of paper with a number on it. God, how long ago was that? Again Eric investigated his pockets, both coat and trousers this time. He kept on producing tiny, crumpled balls of paper which he carefully unfolded – with some difficulty – until finally, he found the right one. OK, so now he had it, what was he supposed to do with it?

He'd always managed to avoid using the kiosks up until then – one of the assistants usually took pity on him when he wanted his books issuing. He just hoped they were as straightforward as she'd made them out to be.

A few minutes later, Eric felt like crying in frustration, either that or attacking the wretched kiosk with his walking stick. Why was everything so difficult? He'd finally worked out where to place his library card, but still nothing was happening. He was about to give up in disgust, when a woman around his own age approached, clutching a heap of books. She gave him a nod and a brief smile as she got ready to use the kiosk next to his.

“Can't say I like these machines, but they're easy enough to use, aren't they?”

Eric vented his pent-up feelings with a heartfelt harrumph.

The woman looked at him sideways. “Or perhaps not, if you're using them for the first time … Here, let me help you get started.”

She showed Eric how to get logged in, but she hadn't used a kiosk to book a computer either. Thankfully, she could understand the instructions, and between the two of them, they managed to get him booked in. The screen briefly showed a time and a number before logging him out. Eric stood and stared at the machine. Was that something he should have made a note of? Did it really matter? As long as he was booked …

He didn't know how long he'd have to wait, so he settled down in a chair near to the computer area. The garden plans were something he needed to think about, but instead, his mind returned to Andy's hug, and not for the first time. Although the young man hadn't said much, he guessed that Andy had been disappointed by his own lack of response. Eric sighed. Touching someone was almost alien to him. It wasn't that suprising, really … He wasn't any good at self-analysis or anything, but even he knew that he'd shut part of himself down long ago. Self defence, or just through lack of use and opportunity? Both, probably.

He was staring blankly in the direction of the computers, when it came to him suddenly, what it was that had been nagging away at him since he'd arrived. There wasn't anybody supervising or helping in the computer area. His heart sank. What was the point of him being there if no-one was going to show him what to do? Why else had he waited until one of the days when the buddies were meant to be there? His shoulders slumped in defeat. His heart sank even further.

One of the computer users, a youngish, tired-looking woman with a fretful baby in a pram, stood up and left. Before Eric could even think about getting up, an unkempt youth sat down in her place. He was only there for a few seconds before a large, irate man barrelled up.

“What the fuck? That's my computer. See? My number. Piss off. Get yeh own.” He loomed over the youth, making very plain what he expected to happen.

The youth said something back which Eric couldn't hear. Whatever it was didn't help the situation.

“If yeh don't get off my fuckin' seat right now, I'll fuckin' make yeh.”

The man's shouting was attracting the attention of the other computer users, but soon enough they turned back to their own business. Eric wondered if that sort of thing was common – it scared him. That could've been him. After another minute or so of tense stand-off, the youth gave way.

The man sat down, red in the face and sweaty, and yelled one last insult. “Tosser!”

The woman sitting next to him looked briefly in his direction and got another tirade.

“What the fuck yeh lookin' at? Stupid cow.”

She stared at her screen, ignoring him and eventually he settled down.

Through out all of it, nobody had come to intervene. Eric got up. Whatever his hopes had been for the day, they had gone now. It wasn't worth staying there any longer. At first, he just wanted to go straight home. Then he remembered Brian, his new friend. Perhaps he could help? Eric decided to call in at the café instead.

Andy put the landline phone back in its charger. He couldn't stop himself from smiling broadly as he came back to the sofa.

Adam noticed. “So, what has Eric been up to now?”

They curled up together.

“Well … he's found himself a friend.”

Adam's eyebrows shot up.

Andy grinned. “Yeah, I know. Eric sounded surpised as well.”

They both chuckled.

“It's Brian Metcalfe, the guy who runs that caff next to The Black Swan? Anyway, he came up trumps for Eric. I won't give you the full story, but Eric had a bad time in the library this morning. I think he might've given up on computers if it hadn't been for Brian. Once he'd got the whole tale out of Eric, Brian sent him home and told him to come back on the first bus after the lunchtime rush. Then apparently, he closed up the caff, escorted Eric back to library, and insisted the library staff showed him what he had to do to book and log into one of the computers. After which, to Eric's astonishment, Brian spent a good hour teaching him the absolute basics. 'Very, very patient' was Eric's description.”

“Awesome.” Then Adam looked puzzled. “What about the … computer buddies?”

Andy rolled his eyes. “Yeah … The library staff forgot to tell me that this close to Christmas, the service doesn't operate. Still, Eric got started. That's the main thing. I think he'll continue. I hope he does.”

Adam gave him a kiss. “And who set him off? Who convinced him? You did. You should be proud of yourself. One job down.”

Andy laughed. “And still more than a few to go.”