Walking in Circles - 16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Oh, I have to get moving to get over to Linda’s office. After that there’s a painting class I’d like to sit in. I am really excited about trying it. As I get my things ready, I see myself in the mirror. “You have been acting it up gay boy. Why are you trying to ruin the rest of your life? You got away from the woods, I understood when you were in the woods, but you need to hit the damn reset button and quick, asshole.”

After I got out of the shower and began putting on my clothes, I saw myself in that mirror. “Just leave me alone will you.”

I wished everyone a good morning as I made my way to Linda’s office. I feel pretty good, and I am early enough to get coffee. “Morning darlin, I’m getting coffee and coming right back, do you want anything?”

“You are something else, and you have picked a good day to offer me coffee. I’d love a medium cappuccino, please kind sir.” She winked and I winked back.

Mr personality is working the coffee machine and a lively young African American girl is charming her way through the line of customers. I like this girl. “Hi beautiful, do you have any peppermint syrup?”

“Listen to you buttering me up, I sure do, just what would you like me to do with it?” There’s that crooked smile I love. Hi Sean.

“Well, I was thinking about having you put some in my vanilla. Latte that is.” That was as corny as it gets.

“You’re cute.” She leaned on the counter and looked towards my dick. “How big?”

I smile at the pun, “Medium, I guess.” She giggled.

I looked over at Mr Personality who seemed to be listening. Is that a smile? It is actually scary if it is.

“Oh yeah, I need a medium cappuccino too please.” I offer, Zesta?, my badge for payment.

“Thank you Zach, for bringing me this I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Anytime Charlotte, you’re my girl.”
“Come in Zach, how are you?” Linda’s perky again this morning.

“I have to say I am feeling pretty skippy myself this morning. I found the art room yesterday and am going to try my hand at some of the classes.”

“That’s a great idea. Just remember you’re recovery comes first.” We chatted about the weekend and how many patients have the most problems on those days. I can actually see that’s probably true. I assured her that I would probably fill my time with drawing. “Ok, before you leave, Robert thought you might like his old CD walkman for some music. He even included his pack of CD’s. He said you could toss anything you don’t like. That boy listens to Pandora and YouTube on his phone now. He hasn’t touched these in probably more than a year now. I put new batteries in for you if you want it.”

“I love it, I am sure he’s got something in there that I’ll like. Thank him for me again, will you?”

On my way to the art room I flipped through a couple CD’s and decided to see what this Enigma thing was like. Took me a minute to figure out how to even put it in, Right off the bat I knew I was going to like it, at least some of it anyway. I turned it off as I entered so I could have a chat with the person in charge, he is older than I imagined, I’d say 50ish, but you could tell he was probably a good looking man 20 or 30 years ago. Chuck, he said to call him that because Charles was too stuffy. Funny guy, I like him. We went through supplies people have donated or left behind and got me settled with acrylics. Most people were working on projects they’d had for some time. Some had pictures they’re copying from, others are doing a display someone had arranged. I decided I wanted to do the cove. I put on the CD and found myself working fast and lost in my own world.

I could clearly see the house and beach coming through. Everybody wanted to know where it is, I just said it is my summer home. It’s not completely misleading. Plus, I didn’t want to get all involved in that conversation. Chuck told me that as long as the door is open, I could work on it in the back of the room. I like that. Plus it fit perfectly in my slot.

I did go to lunch, but I went to 3 more class times to continue working on my painting. Another instructor, Karen, gave me a pad of large newsprint paper, she said it’s really good for practicing drawing. She said she also has a life drawing class on Saturday afternoon at 1 o’clock. Not real clear what that is, but I am sure I can find something to do.

I reorganized the CD pack that Robert gave me. I haven’t tossed anything yet, I guess when I’m bored I’ll be willing to try some of the obviously gay stuff, bet his mom never went through these. Anyway, Barbara Streisand, Beaches, and Cher are all in the back of my bus. I even put a note before them, ‘Continue at own risk of becoming gay’. I make myself laugh.

I haven’t listened to very many, so far Enigma has the first slot, followed close behind by Mazzy Star. Maroon 5 is in there with Matchbox 20 and Christina Perry. Right now I’m starting my Saturday off with Mazzy’s Blue Light. I have been sketching through waking up in the woods and to the cove. I am working towards the day the storm hit. Some of these I want to paint, some I want to make better drawings of on better paper. But, they’re all special in my heart. The fire pit in the beginning will be first to paint.

The only reason I took a shower and got dressed today is to go eat lunch and check out this life drawing thing. In my mind I’m going to start my new painting though. Karen was busy organizing the room to make a large circle with easels, chairs, and supply carts for each station. She wanted me to get my supplies from the donation closet. She had me get more newsprint, a few 18x24 white 90# sheets, and a few choice conte’s (charcoal) with a couple erasers. I still wasn’t convinced I would keep interested, but I was willing to try it today. 12 people including myself were getting organized when a guy about 25 years old walked in wearing a robe. Um, What’s that about? Karen introduced him to the group as Ty. “He agreed to sit for us today.” I looked around at the other artists, 3 other guys and the rest women. Pretty much everyone looked pleased. Ty is probably 6’ tall and maybe 180lbs. He has shaggy long dark blonde hair, total surfer brah. I just giggled until the robe came off and he sat on the stool in the center of the room facing me. He put one foot on the floor and one on the rung of the stool. Washboard abs and a killer cut cock, this boy is simply stunning. I know I am turning three shades of red. Good Lord I am starting to sweat. It’s hot in here, probably for Ty since he’s naked as a Jay Bird.

Karen said we are starting with 3 poses of 5 minutes each. We’ll then do two 10 minute poses. There be a short break and we’ll have a 20 minute pose. Good lord, I don’t know if I can survive without having getting completely boned. Karen went to a couple people like myself who are new. She explained that the shorter drawings on the newsprint are supposed to be loose and expressive, she carried an example with her. The point is to get in the grove and ready for the longer poses on the better paper.

As the first pose began all acknowledgment of the naked man went out the window. Everything became recreating the beauty before me. I felt in my element and worked quickly. Karen walked around the room offering tips and ideas. When she got to mine she stood back, I tried not to think about the fact that she hates what I am doing, but I wish she’d just leave. She called for the next pose and continued to watch me for a few seconds. I was so relieved that she moved on and didn’t embarrass me about my obvious beginner style.

After the third pose Karen had us switch to the better paper on the clipboards. She took a moment to suggest erasing techniques and shading suggestions. I prepared my limited supply laid out in an easily accessible way. Ty faced me again, just off center and mostly took his original pose. I let his straight leg drop off the page revealing the foot the rung. I filled the paper with his image letting part of his head to go off the top. I wanted to capture the light around him so I let sections disappear into the white of the paper. But, where there was darkest shadows I pressed harder for darker lines and shading. Overall,
I liked it, but I bet it’s not what we’re supposed to be doing. It doesn’t look like a photograph at all. I decided the next pose to push him back as if he were much further away and I tried to recreate the shades of light and dark around him. I felt like the other one is better, but this was fun too.

Karen asked us to pick one of the two longer poses we did and put it on the easel for everyone to walk around seeing what the others did. The first one I came to a gal literally made it look photographic, I suddenly wanted to run over and take mine down. I didn’t, only because I didn’t want to bring that much attention to myself. There were a couple that I felt looked, well, not good, nice try maybe. These made me feel better anyway, mine isn’t the worst in the room.

I needed to pee and ran across the hall to the men’s room. I stood at one of the two urinals having a wonderful piss, when, yep, Ty came up wearing sweats and released the monster within. “I saw your drawing dude.” Shit.

“It’s my first time.” I hoped that would make him try to be kind.

“Really? Yours is the best, if you ask me. Of course I am not an artist, but I have done about a hundred of these.”

“A hundred? Why?”

“For the money dude, I get $200 a pop. For an hour of sitting naked in front of a group of people checking my shit out. Plus, I really like seeing what you guys come up with. My favorites aren’t photographs of me, some don’t even really look like me, but there’s emotions and expressions that make it hard to walk away from. Yours is doing that right now.”

“What do you mean, right now.”

“Dude, everyone was standing around yours when I walked out.”

Suddenly I had a shiver run down my spine. I don’t think I can walk back in the room. I can’t even zip myself up. I am completely and totally frozen with fear.

“Dude, are you alright?”

I turned and looked at him. He reaches across my chest and turns my shoulders to face him. “I didn’t mean to scare ya. Look, you have a natural talent. You are going to get back in there,” I suddenly realized that while he was talking he had put my manhood back into my underwear and was zipping up my jeans. “and show these people what is inside of you. You need to give your vision to the world, man.” He turned me towards the door, patted my ass and gave me a slight shove.

As I came in people started walking away from my station. I felt like I was walking in water. But, I sat down and prepared myself for the long pose. I put Enigma on and thought I would try something different, I need to make myself busy while we wait for the pose to get set. So I am just covering the entire paper in a dark charcoal, sorry conte. I prepare a series of erasers, even breaking a couple for sharper points. As Karen and Ty decide on the pose I got up and grabbed a couple of paper towels, also saw a couple different cloth pieces in the donation closet. I wanted to not look people in the face but I had to nod at a few on my way to my seat. Apparently the pose is on a pedestal with a pillow to sit on. They placed him on an angle to me, I have a solid profile. Enigma is helping me shut out everything else.

Using the portrait side of the paper and the erasers I draw him with about 3 inches of black under him and 2 inches around the rest. One of the cloth pieces from the closet is very saturated in conte. I use it to move the charcoal around. It’s like a fader, and the erasers are forcing the white to be in complete contrast. It’s like a series of lights making him glow on my paper. I couldn’t believe how fast 20 minutes flew by. The moment of truth came. I had to turn off Enigma and be willing to walk around the room like everyone else. I even felt like I was gonna cry when I saw the traffic jam happening at my picture. I stopped about half way around, frozen again. Karen and Ty came and stood on each side of me.

Karen put an arm across my shoulders. “They love what you do. They aren’t trying to embarrass you or make you feel funny. This should give you pride. Zach, you will get used to it as time goes by. Until then, just keep doing what you’re doing, ok?”

I looked at Karen with a tear in my eye. “Thank you.”

Ty put a hand in the small of my back, “Come on, let’s go see what you’ve done.”

The three of us got by the crowd and the people were so nice. They asked me technical questions which actually calmed my nerves significantly. I shared what was going through my mind, as well as the fear. That got a few laughs and believe it or not, that made me feel better too. Well, I am funny.

One guy gave me a thick pad of 10x12 drawing paper to use whenever I feel inspired. A gal gave me a small tackle box to keep my supplies in. People were giving me eraser pens and all kinds of drawing pencils. I am so touched at the generosity.

All my free time has been drawing and painting. I even drew a series of Linda while at my MRI appointment. Travis came to my room one evening and sat for some drawings. He wound up removing his shirt for a couple. Dudes got a great body, Of course, in order to get in the best poses, I absolutely had to put my hands on him to guide him. He blushed and so did I when the side of my hand ‘accidentally’ brushed against his hard cock. I think we both thought we were going to do something more, but in the end we didn’t. We just talked for a long time, till he had to get home. I certainly rubbed one out in the bathroom though. Doc and Steve have sat for some pictures and are impressed with my art. Doc says that the therapy art has given me is beyond what they normally see. It has given me purpose.

On one of my visits, Doc showed me pictures the investigators took of the house I built. They found it in the northern part of Lake Champlain. He said they will be able to give me a full report soon. I had shared during on of sessions with Doc what happened with Caira and Kevin, he said he was going to share that with the investigators. I have to admit I have my hopes that they will find Sean alive somewhere.

I have created such an abundance of paintings and drawings that I have been giving many away. The staff announced one day that they would be having a showing of my and some others works in the conference rooms. They said that they should be prepared to make offers for the ones they would like to buy. They even made bid sheets people could fill out and see what the latest bids are. I didn’t quite like that part, I would rather focus on the art, but then they did entice me to use some of the money for more art supplies.

My 20th birthday was just 4 days before my big show. Doc called me to his office for a meeting in one of the staff conference rooms. I thought it was to discuss the show, but they had a cake and presents for me. Everyone was so loving and warm. Some would come in on their breaks as others went back to their shifts. I opened so many presents with clothes and music, and of course art supplies. I hugged everyone who came. I don’t remember a better birthday since my parents were alive.

The next day my parents lawyer met me in Doc’s office to discuss what was left of my inheritance. I think I was hoping for at least a couple of thousand to buy a car. Seems the one I had before this whole ordeal had been stolen. When I didn’t pay my rent, they threw everything else away. Like it or not, this is a new start. “Good morning Zach, I am Mr Jeffries. You probably don’t remember me, you were this big the last time I saw you.”

“No, I’m sorry, I do remember talking to you on the phone a few times since then though.”

“Yes, your parents and I were good friends and I had agreed to be your trustee for your inheritance till you turned 20. And, here we are. Are you ready to go over everything?”

“I guess, is there enough to buy a car?”

“Zach, you will get your car. Let’s get right to it shall we?”

We went through how he had used the money for my hospital bills back when my parents died, and for this time. We went through the expenses spent on my apartment and general living expenses. He told me how he had invested some on my behalf and that he would help me with any other investments I might want to make with the remaining $3 million and some change.

“Excuse me? What, did, you, say?”

“You have just over 3 million dollars to try to make do with for awhile.” He sort of had a grin when he said it. “Zach, your parents hoped to be able to see you turn into a man who’d do good things with this money. We had talked about teaching you how to invest wisely which your father was one of the best at doing. They had said many times that if you were to enjoy making people happy, that they would be so proud of you. I’ve talked to the people here and it sounds like they love you. That is the kind of thing I hoped to hear.”

“I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t have to say anything, you do however, need to sign some paperwork to get it all under your name only.”

With a shaking hand, I tried to make my signature look like mine. I even had to take deep breaths before some of them.

“Zach, I will be staying at the Marriott, by the Medical College. I will be available to you for the remainder of this week. We need to get you to the bank to get you their checks and cards. You’ll need to get a copy of your drivers license, I have your birth certificate. ”

We had just completed the process when Doc came in. “Congratulations Zach, your parents would be proud of you.”

“Zach, you have my card and feel free to call any time you want.”

“Thanks again Mr Jeffries.”

A nod and the typical hand up wave and he left us to ourselves. “Zach, your test results came back from the last blood work. You have a chemical imbalance that is easily treated with the right medicine. Alcohol eliminates any benefit they bring you, so I would think twice before you do any drinking.”

Dr Stiene got up and stuck his head out of the door, then he stood aside inviting someone in. “Steve, what are you doing here?”

Steve is all smiles. “Hi Zach, I thought we could be friends now that you’re rich.“ I just punched his arm playfully as he sat next to me.

“Zach, I hope you don’t mind, but Steve and I have been trying to help you continue your therapy here, but it seems you’re outgrowing your current living conditions.”

“Dr Stiene, Mr Jeffries and I rented a Live Work loft space right across the street from my condo. It’s only until you decide what you want to do. We just felt like you should be close to the Center and have enough room for all your art things. This way, I get to see what you’re next creation is before everyone else.” Literally my mouth is hanging open.

“Zach, if this isn’t what you would like, we can stop the movers right now.”

Again, mouth hanging open as I stand. Doc and Steve look nervous as they stand. I threw my arms around Steve and kissed him on the cheek. I made my way around the desk to smoother Doc. “I love all of you so much. Thank you!”

“Do you want to go see your new digs?” Steve held up some keys and jingled them.

“Heck yeah. Thanks again Doc, I love you.”
I couldn’t believe how these guys are so willing to help me. It’s just so heartwarming. Steve took me on about a 5 minute drive. Before pulling up in front of an old factory redone to look modern. “This is awesome.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet.”

My eyes got big. “Well, let’s go.”

He showed me how to put the key against the pad to unlock the main door. Then that key has the same pad to enter the elevator. “ You’re going to be on the fourth floor. In the corner closest to my condo, which is also on the fourth floor. We could literally wave to each other every day.”

As we stepped out of the elevator there were moving guys leaving. “All set boys?” The one guy had Steve sign a paper and they got on the elevator. “This is your door. This is your apartment for as long as you do or do not want it.” He handed me the key and I had to turn it a couple times before I got the hang of it. Inside, man, this is the shit. “I feel like that Ashton Kutcher dude is gonna jump out and say I’m punked. But, I’d feel sorry for him if he did, cause he’d be leaving with a broken nose.”

“For the record. I don’t look anything like that guy!” I leaned back onto Steve, he put his arms around me so naturally. He put his chin on my shoulder, “What do you think?”

I looked at the huge arched windows lining two walls, Steve locked his hands together over mine. I rubbed his hands with mine. “I think Ashton doesn’t have anything over you.”

“Awe, you are incredible, Zach. Do you want to see something cool?”

“Is it your finger trick, cause I’ve already seen it. And, if it’s your dick, well, I’ve seen that too.”

“No,” he spun out of our hug pulling on my hand. He pointed out the kitchen and a loft with a bed, he told me the previous owner was an artist too. The couch is an awesome thick orange velvet. “I love it.”

“That’s not all. Behind the bedroom is a huge bathroom, behind the kitchen is a smaller bathroom, and behind that is a huge staircase. “What’s that for, Steve?”

“Race ya!” And Steve started taking two at a time. At the top is a thick glass door with an off center pivot hinge, so freaking cool. Onto my own patio on the roof. In the corner is a platform with a gazebo around a hot tub. “I cleaned it yesterday, it’s been cooking for the whole day,” Steve wiggled his eye brows. “Wanna get in?”

“We don’t have any trunks..” Steve was already taking off his underwear when I turned around. “Well, if you insist.”

He showed me the filter while we waded through the water. Then we switched to the other side, where he showed me how everything works. “This one changes the lights in the water. And this one turns them off.”

Steve leaned back and I took the other side. The bubbles felt amazing and the temperature was perfect. It’s difficult to admit, but I was turning into a prune and I needed to cool down. So we covered up the hot tub, I shut it off and we ran down the stairs carrying our clothes. When I got near the windows I felt like I was in a fishbowl. We threw on our jeans and ran around shutting the curtains. “Well, do you want help sorting through the boxes? Everybody got together made a box.”
“Let’s see if there are blankets and sheets, I guess if we line up the boxes along the wall and open them all would help.”

Steve is so nice to spend his free time helping me. Frankly, I didn’t mind the way he was running around barefoot and no shirt. He even had the top button of his jeans undone. He smiled when he caught me studying every shadow around that area. “I suppose you want to draw me naked like one of your models.”

“Only if you want to, no pressure.” Pressure, pressure! If he let me really study it, I think I would probably nut right there. “I probably wouldn’t just want to draw you though, I’d want to paint, that might take 4 or 5 live sittings.”

“We’ll see. I’m not saying no, just not right now.”

“Do I look like I am ready for ‘right now’?”

We spent a couple hours pulling things out and sorting them per room. In the end I had bedding with a great comforter. I made sure to log who gave what so I could send out personal thank you’s. “Zach, I am beat, do you think you’re going to be fine for the night? I will come over early with coffee. I hope you don’t mind, but I have a key also.”

“Oh for sure Steve, I want to call Mr Jeffries tomorrow morning to get my drivers license and bank cards. I don’t have a phone yet, so I’ll need to use yours, If you don’t mind. I might even see about getting a cell phone.” I thought about asking Steve to stay. “I am wiped out. I will see you tomorrow.”

Steve had put on the rest of his clothes and gave me a great bear hug, with his buddy pat. And, just like that I was all alone. I refused to make a big deal about it, I just wanted to get some sleep. The bed is a king sized and is a perfect firmness. I laid there listening to the slight hum of traffic. The lights sometimes peeked through the curtains. I wonder if I can get a fireplace put in? I think I will look into it this week. I loved the fires at the cove. “Didn’t we Sean.”