Cid (working title) - 21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

It’d been three weeks since the bastard had gotten ahold of him and did what he did…or rather, what he’d tried to do. Cid had taken to wearing hoodies everywhere he went, just to hide his black eye at first, but then to hide his face, his hair, all of it. He didn’t want to be seen or talked to. By anyone. Not Kellen, not even the professors.

Every day was a struggle just to get out of bed and his paintings had all gone to black.

Death.

It seemed a sensible way to end the pain he was in and the horrors of the past, and now the present. He emailed the dean of students about Kurt bothering him; but he didn’t go into much detail. Why did they need to know about a fight? It was just that. Nope. Nothing else going on there.

Nothing had color, or beauty, or life to it anymore. Even the yellow rose that Kellen had given him had long since wilted and died away. Cid was going with it.

Spring break offered a bit of a reprieve. He grew ill of hearing about beaches and bikinis and orgys and whatever other nonsense these children liked to do on their parent’s dime. He just wanted to run away. Forever.

Even the sight of Billy and Frank struck at him; they sat together in the cafeteria, looking sickeningly sweet together. Their eyes were only for each other now; he’d tossed out that affection as soon as he could. As for Kellen? He’d grow tired of waiting soon and be the next name on the list of failed friendship/romances.

That’s all his life was now. Failure. Violence. Pain. He wanted to bail from school and go back to his hometown where he could hide out.

As the day ended and he ate quietly in his room, there were a knock at the door.

“What?”

“It’s Kellen. Please, let me in for a minute?”

Cid rolled his eyes and let out a huff. He opened the door and allowed Kellen to slip inside.

“Hi.” Kellen started, but his cheeriness fell on deaf ears.

“What do you want?” Cid grumbled.

“I wanted to invite you along on a trip I’m taking. Far from here. Camping, and fishing. Now hear me out…ok?” he hurried along. “Fishing you don’t have to talk, so you can sit there as quiet as you like, ok? I’ll do all the cooking and cleaning and there’s bathrooms on site. You can sit and look at the river all day if you like…but please, Cid. Come with me? You need a change of scenery.”

Cid snorted “I’m going home and not coming back.” He reported very matter-of-factly. “I’m done with this school and this life.”

Kellen’s eyes widened. “If you’re done then please…grant me one trip with you? Just something that might bring you a nice memory? Anything.”

“Aren’t you going home?” Cid countered. “See your family?”

“No, I’ll see them in the summertime. Right now I want to take in the springtime and I want to do it with my friend. I like you a lot, Cid. Please…won’t you come with me?”

He had to admit, getting away from things would be nice, maybe. If Kellen would leave him alone…which he was sure he would…then maybe he could slip away and do what he needed to do. Cid nodded and rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Fine. Whatever. I’ll go fish. I got that camping shit, might as well use it.”

Kellen smiled wide. “You will? Awesome! I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow?”

“Sure. Cool.” Cid replied flatly.

“See you tomorrow then.” Kellen made his way to the door.

“Yep, you will.” Cid responded. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Cid shut and locked the door and let out a sigh. Fuck. Well…what the hell huh? Go out with a bang?

* * * *

Kellen’s POV

The trip was long and they had to stop every couple hours but they made it at last. The sun would set in a few hours, so their tents were pitched and the new cookware was washed out and ready for its first meal.

Kellen prided himself on being a great cook; his mother had spent hours showing and tutoring him. His omelets were great, and he hoped the Cid would allow him to make pan-fried steak; a favorite of his.

The fire roared and the pans were set up over the hot coals. Kellen paid most of his attention to the fire, but his eyes kept floating to Cid; who sat there merely staring at the flames. His purple eyes were black at night, with only hints of their color showing with the light from the dancing jumps of pyre. His posture was slumped and his head was covered with his hoodie. In fact, Kellen hadn’t seen much of Cid’s hair since the attack. That was the only way to describe it…an attack. He’d written the dean himself and reported it. He knew Cid wouldn’t. He knew it intimately. From the emails they’d exchanged, Kurt would be interrogated over spring break and Cid would need to fill out a deposition. But to get him to do that would be difficult.

The night was cool and the stars were visible. After dinner the two sat back and he pointed out a few constellations to his friend. Cid merely mumbled or nodded; he’d barely spoken since it happened. It broke Kellen’s heart to see how he was; but it only confirmed how he felt inside. He loved Cid, and would pound Kurt into dust if he could find him.

“We’d better get to sleep. Fishing is an early morning sport.” Kellen washed up everything and packed it away. “Are you tired?”

Cid shrugged. “Always.” He answered.

Kellen sighed and tried to keep on an even keel. He wished they had one tent, just to keep an eye on his friend.

“Better hit the hay then.” He offered. “Hey, Cid?” he brushed the man’s shoulder lightly and was relieved it was allowed this time.

“Hmm?”

“If you need me at all, I mean anything…I’m just a tent flap away. I’m a light sleeper, so just say my name, ok?”

Cid shrugged. “M’kay.”

Well, he had to try anyway. He waited for Cid to get to his tent and zip it shut before he went to his own and got ready for bed.

The night sounds and worry over Cid made him toss and turn all night. He tried playing word games in his head or writing the code he was learning in school; but nothing worked. He sensed something very dark in Cid; that he was suicidal. That alone made him worry even more.

He had to keep it together and remember how he felt after his ‘date’ had gone so horribly wrong two years ago. He swore off men for the longest time and wanted to end his life then too; but his parents, siblings, and excellent counselors all helped. The cops threw the bastard in jail for a very long time.

The urge to goto Cid’s tent was overwhelming. He wanted to hold him and not let go; to kiss those lips, and look into those eyes. More, he wanted to just be the balm that held him together, inside and out.

* * * *

The next morning came at last and Kellen, at 5 am finally gave up on trying to sleep and keep watch on Cid at the same time. At least in the boat they’d be together. Silent, but he couldn’t run away unless he was one hell of a good swimmer too.

He dressed and climbed out of his tent. “Cid? You ready to learn fishing?” he tried to be upbeat and cautious with every word he spoke. One push and his rabbit would hop away to the forest to do himself in. Life hell he’d allow that!

“Mpf. Early.” Cid whined.

Kellen smiled to himself. “Yeah it is, buddy, but the fish are bitin’ this early.”

“Tell ‘em to find their own worms.”

Was his sense of humor returning? At least the snarkiness. It was a bit of a wait, but Cid finally surfaced and after they both used the bathroom and had something to eat, they headed down to the water.

Fishing was something Kellen’s dad had taught him as a young boy and he’d loved it ever since. It was especially helpful when he needed time away to think and get over a loss of any sort, whether it be a test score, or a horrid attack. He truly hoped this would turn the corner with Cid.

The water was peaceful and you could see quite a few feet straight down. It was cool and calm, and perfect to tempt the fish with homemade bait that he’d brought along. He baited both lures and after a quick tutorial, basically told Cid to sit back and wait for a tug on his line.

“So, I just sit here?”

“Yup.”

Cid faced the other side of the boat so Kellen couldn’t see his face. Kellen ached to see his friend so broken.

“Buddy, if you need to go ashore or feel the need to talk or anything, just say my name, ok?”

“Yeah, cool.” Cid answered.

Kellen sighed and put his line in the water. And waited, and waited. Finally, he got a bite on his line! “Oooh! I’ve got a big ‘ol bass!” he reeled it in and held the flopping fish and checked it over. “Hey, check ‘im out!”

Cid turned and he watched the fish flail and try to free itself. “Nice.” He commented.

“Yup. But guess what? I never keep ‘em.” He tossed the unscathed fish back into the water and it swam away rapidly.

“Wh…why’d you let it go? Isn’t the whole point to catch fish and keep them?”

Kellen shook his head. “No. I learned that early on. I couldn’t keep any of them. Once I saw them struggle to be free I started crying and my dad always put them back. I couldn’t watch them flail around like that. It’s not right.”

Cid didn’t say a word but Kellen could tell he was thinking. His mouth would open then shut, and his eyes kept watch between the water and his friend. Finally, he spoke. “No, it isn’t.” He turned around again. “I…I’m ready to go ashore.”

“Sounds good to me. I’m starved anyway.” Kellen agreed and he fired up the motor on the small boat and they got back to their campsite.