Cid (working title) - 7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The first big rainstorm in a while was about to descend upon the campus. Cid could feel it in his bones; they always creaked a little when the barometer dropped. Ok that and incessant viewing of the weather channel. He saw the huge band of storms that was headed their way and decided to hunker down in his dorm room until they passed.

Once his laptop was opened, he saw an email from Billy asking if he could please come over to talk.

Oh shit. I always hate that ‘we need to talk’

He closed his eyes and steeled himself for what might be an emotional late afternoon and evening. Hopefully he could keep things short and sweet, but Billy kept pressing on him and it was getting harder and harder to just brush him off.

After taking a decent amount of time to drink some coffee, lay out his homework assignments, and change his clothes, Cid finally responded.

“Sure.”

How eloquent, right?

It wasn’t very long before Billy was at his doorstep.

“Hi.” Cid offered plainly as he opened the door.

“Hey.” Billy replied. His blue eyes looked Cid up and down slowly and then flicked over to the coffeemaker. “Mind if I have some java?”

“Uh yeah, help yourself.” Cid waved him over and waited until the coffee was done and Billy cradled the mug in his hands. He hadn’t turned around once or spoken since his initial arrival. “Everything ok?” he knew he ventured into dangerous territory, but it had to happen sometime.

Billy shook his head and faced him. “No. Things suck, Cid.”

Wow, that was direct.

“Classes?” Cid tried to deflect the real reason.

“Nope.” Billy scowled.

“Parents?”

“Negative.”

Well, crap. This was narrowing in on just him. Just like he thought.

“Is it…”?

“Stop!” Billy exclaimed with a hurt tone to his voice. “It’s you, ok? Or us or whatever the fuck we are.”

Cid’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. The words were all stuck in his brain.

“Typical. You clam up again.” Billy growled.

“Let’s sit down.” Cid offered as nicely as he could and motioned to the bed. He took a seat right away.

“I don’t wanna sit down, I wanna stand and get some answers from you, Cid Walker.”

Oh crap. That’s the equivalent of a parent using the whole name.

“Answers on what?”

Billy balled his hands into fists. “Seriously? No…you are either really an asshole, that dumb, or just that obstinate. This is about us, you jerkwad.”

Jerkwad? Did this mellow fellow really just call him that?

“Hey! Enough with the name calling. I’m being perfectly civil here.” He spit back.

His friend drank down the coffee and turned away. “I know.” He mumbled.

“Hey…” he stood and tried to put his hand on Billy’s shoulder. “What do you need to know so badly?”

Billy faced him at last; there were tears in his eyes. “Us, Cid. What are we?”

Damn he cries at the drop of a hat.

“Simmer down, bud…” he offered his friend a tissue for his face. “We’re good friends, right?”

“Fuck. I knew you’d say that.”

Cid cocked his head. “I told you, I take things slow, man. If you want me to speed things up…”

“Dammit. I don’t know what you want. I’ve been trying to be patient with you and wait until you want to be my boyfriend. But you aren’t into it, are you? Not into me?”

He had to think for a long moment before answering; and it had to be one that Billy both understood and could accept.

“Billy…I like you. I really do. I don’t think we’re the right type for each other to be honest, but I’m giving this a chance. You know I move slowly and it’s only been a couple of months, right? Can’t we have a foundation of friendship first before getting too involved?”

“Can’t you even consider calling yourself my boyfriend? Or are we just friends? I like you a lot, Cid. I know you must’ve gotten hurt really badly in the past to be like this…but I’m already too involved, inside. I run to meet up with you, I wait for your emails or to visit for coffee. You’ve gotten under my skin.” Fresh tears slid down his cheeks.

Cid pursed his lips and knew then how much of a jerk he’d been. “I’m sorry, Billy. I don’t know if I can be a boyfriend again right now…and it’s not you.”

“How can it not be me?” he protested.

“Because I’m not the right guy for you. I’ve hurt you already just by going too slow.”

Billy set down the mug and dabbed at his eyes. “But I know I’ve gotten under your skin, I had to have. I saw the painting of the campsite you did; it’s a masterpiece!”

He had to admit, he’d taken extra time creating that painting. He’d intended to give it to Billy at some point; but it seemed to him that the painting might be the only thing left.

“Thank you.”

“Do I mean anything to you at all?” Billy asked, his eyes watery and huge.

“Yes, you do!” Cid sighed. “Look…can you just respect that I like to move slow? That I like to really get to know the men in my life?”

Billy shrugged. “I guess I don’t have a choice.”

Cid tried to keep his cool and corralled his inner strength. “Look. I like you a lot. You’re a sweet guy, too nice for me. You see the type that I attract usually; the hotheads, the jerks, the stalkers. I’ve got that one fool trying to get in my pants and I keep giving him the slip.”

“You haven’t reported him yet?” Billy gasped. “You have to!”

“He’s just a jerk. I’ll report him if he actually tries anything for real.” He brushed it off.

“Quit being the tough guy hardass. Pretend he doesn’t exist. Better yet, hang out with me. At least he’ll see you’re with a witness.”

This kid was relentless. It was flattering in a way though, he was the biggest wallflower in grade and high school until art class. His friends were all girls in the old town. They flocked around him like seagulls sometimes; they protected him as best they could. Well, all except for his ex….but he dared not even speak his name.

“Billy…I’ll hang out with you, but you’ve got to stop pressuring me, ok? I mean it.”

The blue eyes blinked a few times, but the tears stopped. “You mean it? You still wanna hang out?”

Cid nodded. “Hell yeah. You’re a good guy. If anything we’ll be friends for a long time. I know it. Maybe someday I’ll show you my hometown.”

“Really? You mean it?” Billy smiled wide.

“Sure!” Cid grinned, happy that he hit the nail on the head. Billy was desperate to be in his life and world. Besides sex or dating, this was the biggest bone he could think of to throw. “Plus, we’ll goto lunch together, when we can sync up schedules.”

Billy smiled the biggest Cid had ever seen and threw his arms around him and held on tight.

Cid wasn’t a huge hugger, but he took the gesture for once and hung on for a moment.

“Easy now, I’m older than you. Don’t crush my bones.” He teased.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Billy fretted.

“No harm done at all. Relax, ok? We’ll hit the cafeteria tomorrow. Maybe we can convince them to make something edible.”

Billy laughed. “Sounds good to me, my good friend Cid.” His eyes twinkled with mischief. “I’ll get you to call me yours before too long. You wait and see.”

Cid rolled his eyes. “Mr. Persistent aren’t you? Fine. Gimme til springtime, ok? Then you can call me your guy.”

“Are…are you sure? You mean it?”

“I said it, didn’t I? You business types like to win over your clients right? Keep trying with me and I’ll reciprocate as much as I can. Just know it’s tough for me, ok?”

“I promise!” Billy hugged him again and ran his fingers through his lilac locks. “Let me buy you dinner?”

Now that sounded good.

“Deal. We can call it a date-ette.” Cid joked.

“Awesome.” Billy beamed and Cid felt a tiny bit of his bravado melt.

“We’d better hurry before the storms get here.”

They hurried up and ordered just in time before the rains began. Billy stayed all evening and they had a great date-ette.