I think, like most people, I don't take the time to stop and look at my life. Sometimes you have to decide if your life is going where you want it to, taking you to new exciting places, stopping you from growing, or just plain becoming a train wreck. Presently not sure.

Three years ago my life altered. I don't care how old you are, when you lose a parent that changes you and your life. I had been out on my own, living a life, not a great one or a bad one, just a life. I had friends and had hoped to make someone I was seeing something more. In a short period of time I lost focus on my master's degree, my boyfriend decided he was more straight then gay, and my father fell apart without my mother and asked me to move in to help him.

I had a lot to think about. What was I giving up? Could I survive being under the same roof with him again? Would it be a benefit to him and to me? I thought at the time it would.

This past week I have been informed that since I am not able to do as I had been he wants to finish cleaning out the house and put it up on the market this fall. He plans to move into a single bedroom apartment. I am not sure where that leaves me at the moment.

My job is a dead end and I am no longer happy there. Unfortunately. until my back is healed enough that I know I could afford to be without health insurance, I must remain at my current employment. I am also unsure if I could get health insurance at another job now that I have a pre-existing condition. So work remains a problem.

My father is his own little issue. His health isn't the greatest, but that is another whole problem. He is due for surgery sometime within the next year and his doctors place him at 50/50 odds of coming off the table, but if he doesn't he will die from the problem with his arteries.

Then there is that thing called my love life. I had a chance at love. Lets just say it didn't go as planned. I am too slow, too old, and far too much of an idiot to do what I should have. I don't ask what I should, or say what I should, when I should. So instead of having someone as a lover, I have somehow made myself into sort of a confessor figure while he prepares for his boyfriend to now pop the question. I really should just stay in my tower. I have less issues that way. Oh wait, my tower is being sold. Make that a nice cardboard box.

At least I have my friends. Somethings in life come and go, but you find out who you can count on to keep your spirits up and hang on to them.

Sorry, just really trying hard to find something to point to and smile about. Finding out a lot of things lately and very few seem to be good news.

On the bright side, since I have time now I have been writing. My anthology stories are among the longest stories I have ever written for an entry. I have a new story in development that is nearing its finish. Sorry, after Jonas I refuse to put up any story unless it is complete so I don't leave my readers waiting. Now overhauling Seeon so that it can go back up and hopefully won't have any more issues with it. Then, god help me, I plan to go back and fix Accidents Happen. When you learn what you are doing and then go back to look at the mistakes of earlier work, you sort of cringe. The story is basically alright, but lord do I head hop, and include far too much outside work (song lyrics) that would prevent that story from every reaching the people the way it should. It suffered from multiple betas and editors. All of that is my fault, so I do plan to go and fix it.

So I have basically a few things I plan to get done before my life hits another wall. Time will tell if my father is actually planning to do what he says or does he plan to change his mind. All I can do is plan for changes and hope for the best. So you might see a flurry of work from me and then who knows. All I can say is my life isn't boring, though I don't always know where it is going to take me.

Till my next time to unload.

Wayne