Well, there are lots of things one can draw on to write about experiences they aren't familiar with.

I used to be quite scared of spiders; I still am, but I've gotten braver. Many times, I have approached and killed a spider with a heavy book, then picked it up with a wad of paper and threw it in the trash. The first few times I did it were when I started living alone and could not rely on anyone else -- these were the hardest and took the longest. I even bribed my neighbors -- paid them to do it for me a couple of times. Nowadays I see a spider and unless it's incredibly ugly and huge and crawling toward me, trying to eat me up and spit me out, I try to ignore it until it goes away or else kill it quickly. I don't feel nearly as much fear or trepidation.

I use my memories. I remember when I used to dash through the dense forest, running after my friends and suddenly plunge into a mammoth spider web and have the thing crawl all over me. I remember finding eggs underneath someone's couch and poking it, when to my dismay dozens of little spiders came running out. I remember being in the bathroom when I was fourteen, when a spider straight hopped into my underwear as I was putting it on.

I compare that to my experiences in the last few years and whenever I have to write something that the character's are afraid of, something they desperately do not want to do, about something that makes them uncomfortable, about somebody they find who is disgusting, about getting used to their fear and becoming braver, I reflect on my experiences with spiders. It doesn't matter whether I'm writing about a character confessing their love or a character afraid they won't have any ice cream left to gorge on when they get home, I transfer my feelings in one kind of experience to help me write about something I've never experienced before.

So when it comes to gay characters coming out I feel like I have to remember many things. The feeling I've had before when a secret of mine gets found out. How angry I can get when a child in one of the classes I've taught almost puts themselves in danger. The strange emotion I feel when I talk in a group of friends and bring up something important to me and they seem to ignore it, caught up in another conversation. The weird arguments I've seen on the internet where people religiously debate who could beat up the other, Superman or Goku.

All of this comes in handy to me when writing a coming out scene.

I, too, have a fear of spiders. I found myself facing the little bastards down. I've followed the same path as you, as far as, letting them go or getting rid of them. I know I can draw on the fear I still have for them, and write the next major conflict, I have planned for the couple in a few chapters. I'll let you know if I'm able to draw from it and write and excellent chapter filled with fear of a secret being discovered or told by a loved one. I appreciate you taking the time to help me out. Thank you!

Don't be afraid of asking others with experience to help you with ideas you may have problems with.  Let your beta reader read your story and ask him/her to do some fact checking for you (i.e., is this how gay/lesbians really feel?). 

I just remembered one thing....  Gay people don't just come out....  Between what others see as in closet and out of closet, there is a long internal process.  First stage is come out to yourself and then after that, the second stage is coming out to others.  The length of each stage can be long or short, depends on the individual and their surrounding's acceptance level of homosexuality.  Some find first stage to be more difficult and some may have trouble with second stage, while some don't find them to be problems at all!  Just think about it....

That was the predicament I was facing... asking for help. See, none of my family or friends know I'm writing this story, so I couldn't go to any of them. I finally did consult with my beta reader after I found myself wandering. I knew he would be honest with his opinions and suggestions. But with this particular chapter, I was not sure if he would like the way I'd chosen to write the coming out scene, or the scene leading up to it. There were things he liked and didn't but overall he told me I was headed on the right path. He gave me some points to hit on in the story which helped with the transitioning. This allowed me to rework those particular parts of the story, and I ended up with a chapter I'm proud to have written.

I will take the advice you've given me about the stages and will apply them to future stories. I know this community is willing to help each other and I have to learn to reach out, if I'm going to be a better writer. Thank you for the help you've just given me.