Hi Kevin

I'm sorry that I can't help you with the Claire, Pam and Mary triangle. And I'm sorry I can't help with the Kim and Coressa problem. But I can help with the pain in your legs. If your developing shin splints and your knee hurts without any apparent cause, there is only one thing to do. As much as you will hate this, give them a rest for a few days. Oh and take some Tylenol or an equivalent.

After a few days if they don't get better then see a doctor. To keep pushing them now will only cause more problems and it seems that at present, you already have enough to think about.

Just thought that I would repay you for the kindness you have shown to me.

Hope you feel better

Eric

For whatever it's worth, poly arrangements do work for some people, as do open relationships in various forms. (Where one partner or the other, or both, is free to have sex with someone outside their primary relationship) I can't say I quite understand, since it doesn't work for me on a pretty deep level, but I know of people for whom it does work, and who are getting along just fine. I figure as long as everyone involved is a consenting competent adult then I don't much care -- whatever does it for you is fine, I've got plenty of more important things to worry about.

Monogamy does exist. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I have been for what's nearly been 18 years. (21 if you count when I started dating) And hell, I've been married all that time, so if I can manage, I fully expect people in a relationship with a member of the appropriate sex could if they chose. (On the other hand, an awful lot of people do manage monogamy just fine, it's that you don't notice, since it's unexceptional and thus not likely to catch your attention)

The "gay community" has a different view of monogamy (and, honestly, a poorer self-image on average) and ranges between being forgiving of and encouraging infidelity in a lot of places, which can be a problem, but these days it's not like the straight community's much better, unfortunately. People seem to have lower standards overall, which is kind of sad.

Kevin,

Listen to what Eric said....look at the long view. You want your shins and knees to be in good condition forever..so some down time can't hurt. If you are running, then time to invest in good running shoes.

Your supervisor who engaged in homophobic comments in front of you, IMO, also engaged in work place harrassment of you. She created a hostile work environment. I don't know if your state has Laws against Discrimination for such conduct. That would be the kind of conduct that I would report to the Human Resources Department and plus she has disparaged you in front of others by saying she is glad you are no longer at that work site and its better now that you are not.

I feel for your friend. Maybe she can put in for a transfer?

I don't know what to say about Claire but if she is uncomfortable, then maybe its time to tell both Mary and Pam, its time for both of you to go live somewhere else. (If you need to be there for moral support, she can say it in front of you in their presence.)

I agree with Zot. There are all sorts of relationships under the Rainbow. It is what both consenting adults agree upon. Personally, I am with you, I vote for Monogamy. That's just me. However, its whatever works for those involved. So, I leave it at that. I hope Claire is ok....she sounds like a total sweetie who will I am sure be pursued by potential GFs. Maybe she needs her time to heal, space to be and to be Mary and Pam free. Lucky for Claire, she has the best friend in the world...YOU:)

I hope your shins, knees and work place envirnoment improves. Too bad it couldn't be said to the ex boss moron, "Oh I hope there are no kissing scenes too. I hate watching breeders kiss..so gross" But then again you have a lot of class and smarts and wouldn't be so gross and tactless as she clearly is. I know shame on me for typing this...but I read that comment and I want to scream....I was at an end of year party last year at one of my friend's and her friend said the same thing (He didn't know I was Gay) but I was furious. (I said to my friend, his true colors came out...he didn't know I was Gay and he made a homophobic ignorant comment. My friend defended the moron and said "oh, he's not like that" duh..he sure as heck is)

I just looked toward him as I walked away and said loud enough for him to hear "damn Homophobe" and walked away. I avoided him the whole night as he stood next to his wife making smug comments. I was the only Gay Guy at the party and I could see the others eyes on me as he made the comment watching for my reaction (The rest have known me forever) and they knew I was upset (I get very quiet and one of them pointed out how quiet I was....)

I ramble but I do feel your upset and pain regarding your former moronic boss. Is there a cure for homophobic morons? I sometimes wonder.

Hugs Kevin, I hope you are ok:)

Michael

Hi Kevin

 

I'm sorry that I can't help you with the Claire, Pam and Mary triangle. And I'm sorry I can't help with the Kim and Coressa problem. But I can help with the pain in your legs. If your developing shin splints and your knee hurts without any apparent cause, there is only one thing to do. As much as you will hate this, give them a rest for a few days. Oh and take some Tylenol or an equivalent.

 

After a few days if they don't get better then see a doctor. To keep pushing them now will only cause more problems and it seems that at present, you already have enough to think about.

 

Just thought that I would repay you for the kindness you have shown to me.

 

Hope you feel better

 

Eric

Thanks Eric,

I appreciate the advice. And I think you're right too. I did a little research and the consenses seems to be that I do need to take it easy until I've recovered, and then change the habits which got me there in the first place. Which sucks since I was just getting to where I could run a pretty good distance at a clip. I suppose I shouldn't have been running on cement though, and I guess my shoes weren't that great. Anyway thanks again, and I will cut out the running for awhile (I may still try to get in some light walking though). Anyway have an awesome day and thanks!

Kevin

For whatever it's worth, poly arrangements do work for some people, as do open relationships in various forms. (Where one partner or the other, or both, is free to have sex with someone outside their primary relationship) I can't say I quite understand, since it doesn't work for me on a pretty deep level, but I know of people for whom it does work, and who are getting along just fine. I figure as long as everyone involved is a consenting competent adult then I don't much care -- whatever does it for you is fine, I've got plenty of more important things to worry about.

 

Monogamy does exist. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I have been for what's nearly been 18 years. (21 if you count when I started dating) And hell, I've been married all that time, so if I can manage, I fully expect people in a relationship with a member of the appropriate sex could if they chose. (On the other hand, an awful lot of people do manage monogamy just fine, it's that you don't notice, since it's unexceptional and thus not likely to catch your attention)

 

The "gay community" has a different view of monogamy (and, honestly, a poorer self-image on average) and ranges between being forgiving of and encouraging infidelity in a lot of places, which can be a problem, but these days it's not like the straight community's much better, unfortunately. People seem to have lower standards overall, which is kind of sad.

Thanks Zot,

I'm sure you're right, "open relationships" and "poly arrangements" probably can work. I just don't personally want to be in one, and have a little trouble understanding them. But of course I should mind my own business and let people be.

I'm glad for you pulling it off for 21 years . I hope your relationship continues to be happy and healthy. And you're right it does seem that overall people have lowered their standards, it is sad .

Anyway thanks, and have an awesome day!

Kevin

Kevin,

 

Listen to what Eric said....look at the long view. You want your shins and knees to be in good condition forever..so some down time can't hurt. If you are running, then time to invest in good running shoes.

 

Your supervisor who engaged in homophobic comments in front of you, IMO, also engaged in work place harrassment of you. She created a hostile work environment. I don't know if your state has Laws against Discrimination for such conduct. That would be the kind of conduct that I would report to the Human Resources Department and plus she has disparaged you in front of others by saying she is glad you are no longer at that work site and its better now that you are not.

 

I feel for your friend. Maybe she can put in for a transfer?

 

I don't know what to say about Claire but if she is uncomfortable, then maybe its time to tell both Mary and Pam, its time for both of you to go live somewhere else. (If you need to be there for moral support, she can say it in front of you in their presence.)

 

I agree with Zot. There are all sorts of relationships under the Rainbow. It is what both consenting adults agree upon. Personally, I am with you, I vote for Monogamy. That's just me. However, its whatever works for those involved. So, I leave it at that. I hope Claire is ok....she sounds like a total sweetie who will I am sure be pursued by potential GFs. Maybe she needs her time to heal, space to be and to be Mary and Pam free. Lucky for Claire, she has the best friend in the world...YOU:)

 

I hope your shins, knees and work place envirnoment improves. Too bad it couldn't be said to the ex boss moron, "Oh I hope there are no kissing scenes too. I hate watching breeders kiss..so gross" But then again you have a lot of class and smarts and wouldn't be so gross and tactless as she clearly is. I know shame on me for typing this...but I read that comment and I want to scream....I was at an end of year party last year at one of my friend's and her friend said the same thing (He didn't know I was Gay) but I was furious. (I said to my friend, his true colors came out...he didn't know I was Gay and he made a homophobic ignorant comment. My friend defended the moron and said "oh, he's not like that" duh..he sure as heck is)

 

I just looked toward him as I walked away and said loud enough for him to hear "damn Homophobe" and walked away. I avoided him the whole night as he stood next to his wife making smug comments. I was the only Gay Guy at the party and I could see the others eyes on me as he made the comment watching for my reaction (The rest have known me forever) and they knew I was upset (I get very quiet and one of them pointed out how quiet I was....)

 

I ramble but I do feel your upset and pain regarding your former moronic boss. Is there a cure for homophobic morons? I sometimes wonder.

 

Hugs Kevin, I hope you are ok:)

 

Michael

Thanks Michael,

You're right I am going to take it easy on the running for awhile.

Actually when she made that remark I was technically her supervisor. Also I'm not "out" to her anyway. So while she is very blunt, and probably would state her opinion if asked; I doubt she would have volunteered that comment had she known. Besides that I was ticked off, but I didn't feel at all threatened or harassed. As for the gossip.....well that's just gossip, and the truth is pretty much EVERYONE there would be fired if it came to gossip. Anyway it isn't really my work situation that's unpleasent. I've been having quite a bit of fun in fact. I'm just concerned about Coressa, but she's looking for another job anyway.

Actually I don't at all mind "breeders kissing". For one thing I think it's sweet when any two people who are in love kiss. And I'm a little bisexual anyway, so there's really nothing I find disgusting at all about a guy and a girl or two girls (though again I think it's sweeter if their in love ). As one final bit of irony (which I really do hope I'm wrong about), I personally think her fianc