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I Had to have Another Hit

AFriendlyFace

Entry posted by AFriendlyFace

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I was trembling.

 

I'd carefully avoided it all day, but now the withdrawal was getting stronger. My nerves were shot. I couldn't stop pacing. Thinking back I realized that I couldn't pinpoint the exact time the addiction started. At first it was something I only did occasionally. Maybe as a way to celebrate, or after a stressful day. Then I gradually began to need a fix everyday. I'd promised myself those days were behind me now. I'd even told everyone that, that part my history was just that, history. Yet at this moment, I knew it was hopeless to even contemplate continuing my night unless I had just one more hit......one more and then I could be free.

 

It was late, and cold. Only a junkie would be going out on a night like this. I shrugged and tried to dismiss the thought as I hurriedly left my apartment and began my lonely walk. Oh I knew all the places to go for it. I eventually settled on a location not too far from home. Sure it was risky. There was a greater chance of someone I knew seeing me, but I didn't think I'd make it if I had to go further......they all thought I was clean now, and that was fine with me.....besides it was no one's business but mine.

 

I'd walked fast; I was there before I knew it. I had second thoughts. Perhaps I can fight this. Maybe if I go home and can just get through this night, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel will be in sight........no, no I couldn't resist, not this time. And anyway I was already here.

 

He knew what I wanted as soon as he saw me.

 

"Back again I see" He stated with a smug, self-satisfied smile.

"yes, yes" I replied, fervently anticipating my next fix.

 

I bought more than I needed. This much would probably last a typical person a week and a half at least......I'd be lucky to get three days out of it.

 

I quickly paid and left. Eager to make my way home and get the relief I so craved. The walk home was a blur. I remember wrestling with myself, forcing back the urge to just stop right there and get reacquainted with the bliss I so desperately longed for. I wanted it....No I NEEDED it......not here though; no not here.....too many prying eyes.

 

Eventually I made it home. After fumbling with the lock I finally slammed the door behind me and breathed a sigh of relief. My deliverance was at hand now.

 

I took out double the standard amount......I was no greenhorn by any stretch of the imagination.

 

And then!

 

OHHHH what ecstasy! What a sublime ride I was now on!

 

 

 

 

The next few minutes are hazy. It was all gone almost before it started. The only thing I can say for sure is......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God I love chocolate!

12 Comments

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shadows

I'm of the firm conviction that quitting chocolate is impossible. I've tried (for acne reasons) and just couldn't do it. And I'm by no means a weak-willed person. I guess it was my first experience with addiction, and something seeming out of my control.

 

It's easy to give up something for a predetermined amount of time (for example, the 40 days for Lent), but to know that you're giving it up forever seems to trigger all sorts of addictive responses...

 

Nicely written post by the way. One of my personal favorite forms of writing something (the satirical self-commentary), and it was execute flawlessly. The only tip off was that it's unlikely you'd be addicted/telling us about your addiction like this.

 

//shadows (I will not eat the chocolate nuts hidden in the top drawer of the dining room cabinet...)

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JamesSavik

//shadows (I will not eat the chocolate nuts hidden in the top drawer of the dining room cabinet...)

 

I most certianly will Shadows! That's two of my favorite things: chocolate and nuts! In the same package!? JOY! :lmao:

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Guest Kitty

My name is Kitty and I'm a chocoholic.

 

0:)

 

I'm with shadows ... nicely done, Kevin. :2thumbs:

 

And James, Russell Stover (candy company) used to have a specialty box called "Just Nuts". I haven't seen it in the stores for a while :( .

 

Kitty

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libbonobo

hee hee! :2thumbs:

 

And for those who enjoy chocolate and certain other kinds of nuts, there's always chocolate body paint.

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NickolasJames8

lol.....you made me think about the last scene from half baked when the joint was talking to Dave Chappelle. He threw it off of the bridge and it yelled , You'll be baaaaacccckkkkk!!!!.......kinda how it is for you and chocolate?

 

 

Kisses

Nick

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Zarcie

That was excellent! I somehow suspected where your post was going. A fellow user always knows. :lol: Now I don't feel so bad about how my coworker and I scrabbled for ever last bit of leftover dark chocolate ganache today. There are definite high points to haveing a part-time job at a chocolate shop. I'm my own supplier! You are a brave soul to try and resist the temptation, but I fear chocolate will always win.

 

Damn, now I need some too!

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AFriendlyFace

I'm of the firm conviction that quitting chocolate is impossible. I've tried (for acne reasons) and just couldn't do it. And I'm by no means a weak-willed person. I guess it was my first experience with addiction, and something seeming out of my control.

 

It's easy to give up something for a predetermined amount of time (for example, the 40 days for Lent), but to know that you're giving it up forever seems to trigger all sorts of addictive responses...

 

Nicely written post by the way. One of my personal favorite forms of writing something (the satirical self-commentary), and it was execute flawlessly. The only tip off was that it's unlikely you'd be addicted/telling us about your addiction like this.

 

//shadows (I will not eat the chocolate nuts hidden in the top drawer of the dining room cabinet...)

 

Hey Shadows, Thanks I'm really glad you liked it. And you're right it is much easier to give something up for a predetermined amount of time. In fact Lent will probably be my next serious attempt lol.

 

So were you able to resist those chocolate nuts?

 

Anyway have an awesome day!

 

Kevin

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AFriendlyFace

//shadows (I will not eat the chocolate nuts hidden in the top drawer of the dining room cabinet...)

 

I most certianly will Shadows! That's two of my favorite things: chocolate and nuts! In the same package!? JOY! :lmao:

 

LOL I agree James! Chocolate + Nuts = MMMMMM. Anyway have an awesome day and take care!

 

Kevin

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AFriendlyFace

My name is Kitty and I'm a chocoholic.

 

0:)

 

I'm with shadows ... nicely done, Kevin. :2thumbs:

 

And James, Russell Stover (candy company) used to have a specialty box called "Just Nuts". I haven't seen it in the stores for a while :( .

 

Kitty

 

Thanks Kitty! LOL it's a relief to know I'm not alone. ***checks his schedule for days he can attend group therapy***

 

HMMM "just Nuts" huh? I'll have to look into that! Have an awesome day and take care

 

Kevin

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AFriendlyFace

hee hee! :2thumbs:

 

And for those who enjoy chocolate and certain other kinds of nuts, there's always chocolate body paint.

 

HMMMM **makes a mental note** :boy:

 

Have an awesome day and take care, Libbonobo :)

 

Kevin

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AFriendlyFace

lol.....you made me think about the last scene from half baked when the joint was talking to Dave Chappelle. He threw it off of the bridge and it yelled , You'll be baaaaacccckkkkk!!!!.......kinda how it is for you and chocolate?

Kisses

Nick

 

LOL Nick, Actually I've never seen Half Baked. It's one of those movies I've always meant to but never have (like Dumb and Dumber). LOL but that does sound like a good description. Anyway have an awesome day and take care!

 

Kevin

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AFriendlyFace

That was excellent! I somehow suspected where your post was going. A fellow user always knows. :lol: Now I don't feel so bad about how my coworker and I scrabbled for ever last bit of leftover dark chocolate ganache today. There are definite high points to haveing a part-time job at a chocolate shop. I'm my own supplier! You are a brave soul to try and resist the temptation, but I fear chocolate will always win.

 

Damn, now I need some too!

 

LOLOL Zarcie, I guess a fellow user always does know. MMMMMM Chocolate ganache! And WOW that's so awesome working in a chocolate shop. It's like a childhood (OK maybe adulthood) fantasy come true! LOL have an awesome day and take care!

 

Kevin

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