Jump to content
RIP - Comicality
  • entries
    191
  • comments
    720
  • views
    94,798

Just trying to get through the day

comicfan

Entry posted by comicfan

855 views

March is a rough month. That sounds odd I know, but I will explain.

 

Growing up the month of March was something my family knew would be busy and fun. March held two big events for my family - my mother's birthday and my parent's anniversary. These things were something that my family knew would start and finish major events.

 

Today is March 10th and my mother would have been 74 today. My father and I have sort of avoided talking about it because neither of us wants to break down again. It is amazing how you become use to someone just being there day in and out, until they aren't. Time passes, it eases a bit, but certain days or events will drive it home again. I think a part of the problem is I am alone so I can't confide and turn to my own partner to share things with. I am the rock others turn to.

 

Their anniversary is in a few days. In between I know we will take a trip out to the national cemetery to lay flowers on her grave. Their time to celebrate always ended with St. Patrick's Day. It is usually why I am quick to send all my friends cards for that. Unfortunately this year I have had a hard time just keeping up period when it comes to events.

 

I have been focused on my writing and trying to keep myself from saying or doing things wrong. Seems I have upset some people, but didn't realize it. So just taking some time to myself and sorry if I am being a bit standoffish. Just dealing with things the best I can. Even as I write this I have someone asking that I help them with something they are going through, and I find I can't tell them no. Eventually, I will have to find someone I can lean on, or else I am going to fall apart one day and doubt the pieces will be put back together.

  • Like 7

10 Comments

Recommended Comments

Aaron Penrose

You say you have no one to lean on, but you do have the GA community, no? :) I don't know you well, but from one soul struggling beneath the weight of the world to another, I hope things improve for you. I am lucky and young enough to never have had to deal with the pain of losing a parent, but I imagine it's awful. *hugs*

  • Like 1
Link to comment
  • Site Administrator
Valkyrie
  • Site Administrator

I'm sorry you're going through all this.  You are not alone in feeling loss so acutely.  Holidays and traditions aren't the same with the loss of loved ones, that's for sure.  I felt that loss very much this Christmas since my family fell apart, so I can relate on some level.  I also know the pain of loneliness and it sucks big time.  I am a very insular person and can find it difficult to open up to people, but I found that counseling helped me immensely when I experienced the loss of two very important people in my life.  Keep writing and getting those emotions out.  You'll get through this and Aaron is right. I may be new here, but I can see how much people here care about you.  Hugs and I hope you feel better soon. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Palantir

Keep going Wayne. I know you will.

Being a rock for others is a foundation of who you are and in a way gives you a base to draw on in times of your own need.

Keep searching for answers, and especially, look for someone you can confide with.

Best wishes!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Aditus

This community is great, but sometimes you need a real touch, a real hug. All I can do is wishing with all my heart that you'll find them eventually. Until then an e-hug might help. :)

  • Like 2
Link to comment
joann414

I don't have to tell you what a wonderful friend you've been and are to me.  You know I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.  But, I know talking with me is not like having someone there for you at all times when you need them.

You're an easy person to talk to and I'm sure that's why people come to you.  It's because you're such a good and giving person.  We're not going to please everyone at all times, so you can't dwell on that.  I know losing parents is hard.  I've lost both.  Their birthdays and anniversary were special days, but as you know, I'm a Christmas idiot, and I got it from them.  We had a large family and my parents made Christmas into a huge celebration,  It wasn't all about gifts, but enjoying other members of our family, cooking, and the togetherness you feel then that you don't feel throughout the year.

So, yeah, it's hard, especially the visit to you mom's graveside.  You'll be strong because you know your dad needs you.  Sending hugs and strength you way.

  • Like 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..