I hope you all enjoyed the last Improve & Encourage feature, because it's time for another one. These features are meant to both provide feedback to authors and, similar to story reviews, point out stories that readers might not otherwise have found. It's similar to a review, in that the person doing the critique tells you what they liked about the story, but it differs in that they also provide constructive criticism. Each author signed up to participate, and sign up's are still open!  These will post once a month until the last author signed up is critiqued. If you'd like to provide a critique for the blog, sign up in the thread. I'm hoping to have a lot more authors sign up, and just remember, by signing up, you are also volunteering to have your story critiqued and featured.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Dodger

Critique By: Sam Wyer

Please give us a short summary of the story you chose.

Charlie and Roger are two teenage guys who have been friends since fourth grade.   Their friendship turns a corner and teeters unpredictably for the few awkward moments it takes for both of them to realise what is really happening.

What do you see as the strengths of the story/poem?

The most obvious strengths are the key players in it, as both Charlie and Roger are well characterised.  Given it’s a relatively short story, the introductions don’t feel rushed, and you get a very good sense of who the two of them are, and how close their friendship is.  Whilst written completely from Rogers point of view, Charlie is still very easy to relate to.  Yes, so maybe it is a ‘classic’ storyline, but it’s done really nicely here, and it develops well in a short format.  It’s definitely towards the realistic end of story telling, and the dialogue works well throughout.

What do you see as the weakness of the story/poem?

As for weak points, it’s honestly hard to point to much here.  There’s very little wider context to Charlie and Roger, so you don’t get much of a sense of how they relate to other people, other friends, or their families.  There are nods towards this, but that’s all.

How do you think the story/poem could be improved?

So could it be improved?  The lazy answer is definitely yes, by writing more!  These two guys are very likeable, engaging, and well written, and I know I’m not the only one who thought that it would be good to hear more about them.  Other than that, a bit more context for the wider worlds of Charlie and Roger would be nice, as I mentioned above.  I’d also like to know how they manage the next, but unseen moments / days / months / years.  I don’t mean the sex, I think we all pretty much know how that works, but emotionally they are very different people, and for me, there’s a lot of questions about how the interplay that has worked so well as friends transforms with their relationship.

What was your favorite part?

My favourite moment in the story takes up the whole of the second half of the final chapter, and is brilliantly managed.  To give you a flavour of it: