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Poetry Might Not Be my Thing


Back on July 16 @AC Benus posted a status update looking for volunteers to look at one of his poetry prompts.  i thought about it, and decided to try. 

(it's here, if you're interested  https://www.gayauthors.org/profile/18130-ac-benus/?status=134349&type=status)

 

 

i'll show you the evolution in just a sec, but first i learned a couple of things i wanted to share. 

 

These authors who post poems here are a very talented group.   

 

They also work very hard on these offerings.  It's not like they just spit the words out onto a page and VOILA! it's poetry.  For the ones i know best, it's a long process. It could be days, or weeks before what they've written coalesces into something other than a pile of words.  i've likened it to a painter, who blends the primary colors into just the PERFECT shade to convey the feeling.  Our poets do that with words. Finding just the RIGHT word so their thoughts and feelings come though the page for the reader. 

The poets here at GA are also brave.  They've put their hearts onto the page, bared their souls for all to see.  That, my friends, is bravery. 

 

So, to AC's Poetry Prompt. 

i really wanted to do it, so i PMd him and said i'd volunteer.  He sent the link and i downloaded it, and read it.  Not just once, but many times. 

i started writing, and my first attempt was darn close to the syllable count (57577 is what a Tanka should be): 

 

the lights on the tree 
sparkle and dance bring 
butterflies to my stomach 
waiting for the morning 
was never my strength 

 

But there wasn't anything that tied together why waiting until morning is hard, and there was a hard stop after the third line, so back to the drawing board.  The next attempt is a bit better but the syllable count is still off and there's still that pesky hard stop: 

  

the lights on the tree 

sparkle and dance on 

on the packages below, 

i'm giddy inside 

to see what's in them 

 

Whenever i had some quiet, or some downtime, i'd open the document and start to noodle around with it.  i kept in touch with AC and shared some of my work. 

He was, as he always is, gentle and supportive in his critiques and his guidance. 

i thought a lot about his last email to me where he talked about how a person can say the same thing in many different ways, that blending of just the right words i talked about earlier.  He said that putting the words in one order sounds like "everyday speech" but moving the exact same words around can make it musical.  He went on to say that it takes practice, and that anyone writing poetry has to just write a lot to get a feel for it. 

 

Here's the final evolution: 

 

from across the room 

the brightly wrapped packages 

reflect the lights from 

the tree above and i can't 

wait to see what hides inside 

 

 

i used the "self-check" tool that was in the prompt, and it seemed to check out.  AC  agreed.  He also reminded me not to be too hard on myself as writing poetry takes work, and practice.  Then, as is his style, he invited me to revisit this when the new prompts come out.

 

Am i glad i did the prompt challenge? Yes, i am.  There were several times when i just wanted to stop, to give up.  i was getting frustrated that i couldn't get it. But it's not in me to do that, so i did the best i could.  Could i keep working at it?  Sure, but i think i have learned what i needed to. And  i gained some insight into the process, and  perhaps a better appreciation for the poets among us. 

 

Will you be looking at the new prompts?

 

 

 

 

 

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17 Comments


Recommended Comments

AC Benus

Posted

Thanks for posting these. You've shown us the process of how a poem's idea can go through many iterations, each time hopefully becoming clearer and clearer. I'm glad you didn't throw in the towel on this one. The results speak for themselves :yes: Well done! 

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Brayon

Posted

Excellent work, miss molly. Soon you'll have the Poet tag on your name.

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mollyhousemouse

Posted (edited)

7 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Thanks for posting these. You've shown us the process of how a poem's idea can go through many iterations, each time hopefully becoming clearer and clearer. I'm glad you didn't throw in the towel on this one. The results speak for themselves :yes: Well done! 

:hug:

thanks, AC.  i'm also glad i didn't quit. perhaps next time won't be quite like getting blood from a turnip!

thanks for encouraging me 

Edited by mollyhousemouse
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mollyhousemouse

Posted

2 hours ago, dughlas said:

I enjoyed watching your progress. The final result was well worth your effort. I can close my eyes and it's Christmas ... 

thanks Dugh.  Christmas has always been a special time for me

thanks for reading

 

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mollyhousemouse

Posted

2 hours ago, BHopper2 said:

Excellent work, miss molly. Soon you'll have the Poet tag on your name.

oh A! while i thank you very much, i think i'll stick to the occasional blog

thank you for taking the time to read this 

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mollyhousemouse

Posted

1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said:

you and i have discussed poetry often. i am not a great poet, but i strive to be better always. you did a great job with the prompt.

 

it's funny but these small poems like Tanka and Haiku are among the hardest things to write well. We are taught in schools it's all about the syllables, it is, but it is so much more. AC's translations of the Japanese Masters shows us this.

 

These tiny poems are gems, they are not stilted lines, but should flow.  i am terrible at writing them, which is why i rarely do. However, when AC launches his new prompts. I'll do them and i'll do better than the first time around.

 

great blog, molly

we do talk about poetry often, almost as often as we talk about food, :gikkle: it's from you that i received some of the best poetry writing advice, write it down, then let it sit. 

i'll look at the new prompts too, with a better grasp on what it's going to take to make the poem work

thanks for all your love and support tim :kiss:

 

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mollyhousemouse

Posted

23 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

I am very grateful you chose to share these evolutionary thoughts with everyone. Writing poetry can be a wonderful experience, but you have also shown that it requires thoughtful patience. For my part, I am immensely grateful to have a supportive community of Poets and readers here on GA who have encouraged and guided me, too. 

thank you Parker!

the community here is, by and large, made up of good people 

without that encouragement, i don't think i would have even attempted the prompt, much less finished it

thanks for taking the time to read this, i appreciate your comments

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Mikiesboy

Posted

1 hour ago, mollyhousemouse said:

we do talk about poetry often, almost as often as we talk about food, :gikkle: it's from you that i received some of the best poetry writing advice, write it down, then let it sit. 

i'll look at the new prompts too, with a better grasp on what it's going to take to make the poem work

thanks for all your love and support tim :kiss:

 

That advice comes from @AC Benus and it took me a long to see he was right.

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mollyhousemouse

Posted

1 minute ago, Mikiesboy said:

That advice comes from @AC Benus and it took me a long to see he was right.

so the student is also a teacher 

i'm grateful to you both

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AC Benus

Posted

52 minutes ago, mollyhousemouse said:

so the student is also a teacher 

i'm grateful to you both

I'm learning constantly :yes:

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MacGreg

Posted

Brilliant! I love that you included commentary about your journey developing the Tanka and the practice poems you wrote along the way. This exemplifies  the complex process of writing poetry - which, as you so aptly put it - is not easy.

 

Your Tanka is wonderful, molly. Christmas can be magical, and you've captured that perfectly. Now you can be counted among the brave. I look forward to future completed prompts that you share.

 

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mollyhousemouse

Posted

41 minutes ago, MacGreg said:

Brilliant! I love that you included commentary about your journey developing the Tanka and the practice poems you wrote along the way. This exemplifies  the complex process of writing poetry - which, as you so aptly put it - is not easy.

 

Your Tanka is wonderful, molly. Christmas can be magical, and you've captured that perfectly. Now you can be counted among the brave. I look forward to future completed prompts that you share.

 

thank you Sir

i wanted to show some of the process, to show my favorite poets (You Sir, tim, AC, chief among them) that i appreciate every word

i appreciate you reading and commenting

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Defiance19

Posted

This is really good, molly. I loved that you took us through your process.. Your final result was wonderful.. could not help smiling at the picture you painted. 

Well done.. 

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mollyhousemouse

Posted (edited)

9 minutes ago, Defiance19 said:

This is really good, molly. I loved that you took us through your process.. Your final result was wonderful.. could not help smiling at the picture you painted. 

Well done.. 

thanks Def!

i knew from talking with tim that writing poetry was much harder than it appears he makes it look so easy. but man! a couple of times i thought i'd cry from frustration

thanks for reading and commenting

Edited by mollyhousemouse
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