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not quite me

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mollyhousemouse

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For several days now, i’ve been “off.”

Off my game; off my healthy eating; my mood is off; my enjoyment of my job is off.  i’m just OFF.  Frankly, i don’t like feeling like this.  Even my relationships are off. i had to excuse myself from the living room last night when the kids’ joking around and the dogs barking made me feel like i was about to explode.  i cried a little when i told a friend that i loved him.

i know that this happens; we’re all human and life ebbs and flows. i also know that it won’t last forever, but that doesn’t make it suck any less.

i also realized that i dislike the phrase “Well, just get back on that horse.” But sometimes it feels like i’m trying to climb on a wild mustang. i know that if i can just take a deep breath and start again, that i’ll find a way out sooner or later. 

The sky isn’t as blue, the grass isn’t as green. Life is waiting, and i’m just sitting on a bench somewhere watching it.  Today, i'll get through it, just like always. Maybe tomorrow i’ll be closer to ME again…

 

 

there was no editing on this, all errors are mine

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i also realized that i dislike the phrase “Well, just get back on that horse.” But sometimes it feels like i’m trying to climb on a wild mustang. i know that if i can just take a deep breath and start again, that i’ll find a way out sooner or later

Don't worry about getting back on the horse, instead make friends with him. Like tim said, walk with him.

Everyone has stretches like this, even horses. Breathe, remember we all love you, including Phil, the kids and the dogs. 

:hug:

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 Everyone who came before me spoke very wisely, molly. I’m just going to add, hang in there, molly. :hug: 

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Also the phrases, "just cheer up" or -- for those who are particularly unsympathetic and toxic -- "just get over it".

I've posted this before, its one of my favorite recent songs:  lyrics from the song "Delilah" by Florence & the Machine -

         'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine
         (Maybe not tonight)

Sending you love.

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10 hours ago, Brayon said:

I'm sorry to hear that miss molly. Just remember, "And this, too, shall pass." It's different for each person how long it takes, but it will.

thanks A, i really appreciate your taking time to read and comment
i know i have a great cheering section here
 

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9 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

I love you too. And A is right. You dont need to ride the mustang...just walk along side of him for now. Get back on when he is calmer.  xoxo

thanks tim xoxo
i love the visual about walking along side of the horse until it's calm
taking it in little steps, i remembered my breakfast today and made myself eat lunch in the break room
thanks for everything :glomp:
 

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9 hours ago, Defiance19 said:

You are a wonderful soul, molly. Sometimes it’s totally okay to float with the current instead of fighting against it. Take care of you! 

:hug:

thank you Def
i'm floating, but looking for a way back to the shore
thanks for being there/here for me

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8 hours ago, Kitt said:

Don't worry about getting back on the horse, instead make friends with him. Like tim said, walk with him.

Everyone has stretches like this, even horses. Breathe, remember we all love you, including Phil, the kids and the dogs. 

:hug:

thanks Kitt, it's helpful to know i'm not alone, i mean i know that, but hearing it makes it more real, if that makes sense

 

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8 hours ago, Reader1810 said:

 Everyone who came before me spoke very wisely, molly. I’m just going to add, hang in there, molly. :hug: 

thanks Reader :hug:

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5 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

My thoughts are with you today.

thanks Parker
i appreciate your support, i'm glad you're part of this community

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It's hard when you're used to being strong and one day wake up and find you are not … at least not today.   I know.  But it's the time to take stock. It's time to be as kind to yourself as you are to others. It's time to be allow others to take care of you. Allow yourself breathing space, lower your expectations of your personal self for a few days.

Do something kind and good for yourself.

I believe tim suggested a camel ride?   

much love and respect, mollypop

Edited by MichaelS36
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1 hour ago, Fae Briona said:

Also the phrases, "just cheer up" or -- for those who are particularly unsympathetic and toxic -- "just get over it".

I've posted this before, its one of my favorite recent songs:  lyrics from the song "Delilah" by Florence & the Machine -

         'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine
         (Maybe not tonight)

Sending you love.

you are so right Fae! those things just don't, well they aren't helpful at all
thanks for reading, and your support
 

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you don't have to be the one who always has it together.  you're allowed to be weak, and worn and tired.  Don't let guilt at being imperfect make your trial worse - we're all imperfect.  Expect only that you'll wake tomorrow, and that you'll be the best you that you can manage.

Be kind to yourself, molly.  you deserve that.

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4 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

It's hard when you're used to being strong and one day wake up and find you are not … at least not today.   I know.  But it's the time to take stock. It's time to be as kind to yourself as you are to others. It's time to be allow others to take care of you. Allow yourself breathing space, lower your expectations of your personal self for a few days.

Do something kind and good for yourself.

I believe tim suggested a camel ride?   

much love and respect, mollypop

thank You Michael Sir
it is hard when you aren't yourself, and frustrating when you can't seem to find the way back
i'm taking it a day at a time, one small thing at a time to get back on track, i remembered my breakfast :)
and yes, he did mention a camel ride, lol! not sure where we'd find such a thing, but a trip up the highway to the zoo isn't out of the question
thank You for reading, commenting and supporting Sir

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4 minutes ago, Wayne Gray said:

you don't have to be the one who always has it together.  you're allowed to be weak, and worn and tired.  Don't let guilt at being imperfect make your trial worse - we're all imperfect.  Expect only that you'll wake tomorrow, and that you'll be the best you that you can manage.

Be kind to yourself, molly.  you deserve that.

thanks Wayne
appreciate so much you reading and commenting on this
i'm so glad you found your way to our little group
not being hard on myself, well that's a tough one too that goes WAY back
Phil's good at reading me, and knowing what i need, He's making sure i'm taking care of me
thanks again

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