So, i’m following up on what i posted last week, about me not feeling quite ME.
Phil and i talked a lot last week, and to be honest, i teared up more than once. We talked about how i can’t be who i am, do what i do, if i’m not at my best. And i haven’t been at my best.
To be at your best, you need to take care of yourself. When you’re on a plane and they give the safety briefing, they say to put the oxygen mask on before you help you someone who may have trouble doing it, children or whoever. It’s because YOU need to be able to function to help THEM.
Being a partner, parent, Dom or sub, it’s all the same. i’ve heard it said that “You can’t pour from an empty cup” and it's true.
So i’m working at “self care.” It’s a phrase that’s tossed around frequently, and sounds kind of self serving. Phil asked me to look it up, what is “self care.” Here is what i found:
Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it's a simple concept in theory, it's something we very often overlook. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety.
What Self-Care Is — and What It Isn't - Psych Central
Frankly, i have been very bad at doing this; i am bad at doing this. Oh sure, we go every week to the farmers market, and we hit up the Saturday markets that show up. We do these things together. But, as He pointed out, i haven’t done much, just for me lately. He says He shares some fault in this. He’s been needing me a little more lately with His vision issues, i have to do all the driving dusk to dawn now, as well as help Him read some things. But, i’m also guilty of not asking for time. There have been several invites from my friends that i have just said “No, I can’t go this time.” He was not at all pleased to find out about that! (Facebook ratted me out!)
i’ve been told that this behavior needs to stop. At the very least, i need let Him know that i’ve been asked to do something, to go over for game night, or out for dinner.
i went out Saturday night with a group of girlfriends, just dinner, nothing fancy, and had a great time, once i relaxed, lol! And Sunday, i felt much better for it. He was right. Of course.
He’s going to help me get back to myself, because that’s what He does. He cares for me.
So, i’ve been told that i need to start finding time to take care of me. At this point, i’m not sure what that looks like.
How do you self-care? What are the things you do for you to take care of yourself? i’m open for suggestions, and i thank you for being part of the conversation.
i edited this myself, any errors are mine