Entry posted by mollyhousemouse
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i’m angry and hurt, and need to get this off my chest.
People will tell you that death is a part of life, it’s all part of the circle of life.
Well, they’re full of crap.
Death is death. And it sucks. Doesn’t matter who it is, if you lose someone you love, it sucks.
Like Great Aunt Betty, the one who would sneak you that candy you loved at the family reunion—it’s a loss and it hurts.
A nephew with leukemia—hurts like a punch to the gut. A nephew was hit by a car, while he was in the crosswalk? Almost unbearable pain.
Very recently, a few people i know here lost family members. It was hard for them. They were both sudden. Not that having advanced warning for an impending death, makes it any easier. i mean, we all know those stories; Uncle Frank diagnosed with whatever, so everyone starts “preparing” that he’ll pass soon. Nope, doesn’t help to have that time to what, wrap your mind around it? No, don’t think so. Loss is hard, nothing really makes it easier.
i have had two losses in as many weeks. My family is shattered. My brother and sister both have lost sons. One niece has lost her big brother, another niece and nephew have lost a cousin and a brother.
my own youngest son will have to attend his third memorial for a peer. A peer, someone his own age, not for an elderly relative, but a person in their prime.
Of my sister’s step son, someone said, “He’s in a better place.” Hell, he was in a pretty good place! Good job, a beautiful wife, and the most adorable 3-year-old son.
They said similar things about my brother’s son. He died in an accident on his very first day at university.
His. Very. First. Day.
He was 19. He was in a very good place already.
i’m angry, hurt, all of those things. Grief is very different for everyone, and that’s ok.
Right now, i’m stuck in anger and hurt.
i need to work past this, a little anyway, since i’m going to have to be the big sister, the oldest child, next week and do all the social niceties.
Go hug someone and let them know you love them.
thanks @Mikiesboy you are the best
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