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DEAD is not a Better Place

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mollyhousemouse

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i’m angry and hurt, and need to get this off my chest.

People will tell you that death is a part of life, it’s all part of the circle of life. 

Well, they’re full of crap.

Death is death. And it sucks. Doesn’t matter who it is, if you lose someone you love, it sucks.

Like Great Aunt Betty, the one who would sneak you that candy you loved at the family reunion—it’s a loss and it hurts.
A nephew with leukemia—hurts like a punch to the gut. A nephew was hit by a car, while he was in the crosswalk? Almost unbearable pain.

Very recently, a few people i know here lost family members. It was hard for them. They were both sudden. Not that having advanced warning for an impending death, makes it any easier. i mean, we all know those stories; Uncle Frank diagnosed with whatever, so everyone starts “preparing” that he’ll pass soon.  Nope, doesn’t help to have that time to what, wrap your mind around it? No, don’t think so. Loss is hard, nothing really makes it easier.

i have had two losses in as many weeks. My family is shattered. My brother and sister both have lost sons. One niece has lost her big brother, another niece and nephew have lost a cousin and a brother.

my own youngest son will have to attend his third memorial for a peer. A peer, someone his own age, not for an elderly relative, but a person in their prime.

Of my sister’s step son, someone  said, “He’s in a better place.” Hell, he was in a pretty good place! Good job, a beautiful wife, and the most adorable 3-year-old son.

They said similar things about my brother’s son.  He died in an accident on his very first day at university.

His. Very. First. Day. 

He was 19. He was in a very good place already.

i’m angry, hurt, all of those things. Grief is very different for everyone, and that’s ok.

Right now, i’m stuck in anger and hurt.

i need to work past this, a little anyway, since i’m going to have to be the big sister, the oldest child, next week and do all the social niceties.

Go hug someone and let them know you love them.

 

 

thanks  @Mikiesboy you are the best 

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molly, I am so sorry to hear about the loss you and your family is going through. My prayers for you and your family.

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molly 

I’m so sorry on your loss. I do know the rage you are feeling as that I just went thru this  same lost. Death is never easy on anyone. When the death comes by accident or by there own hands you have no closure. molly the worse thing is that people stop talking about the ones that died they never speak of them again . It’s like one day they are here and the next day they are gone. It’s not good to keep that all bottled up. Lean on you family, friends. Please know that anyone of us in DiC would take this loss for you so you could get thru this. 

molly anyone of us are there for you if you need to vent or need a friendly ear. So molly know this you never walk alone there is always someone close by and please know it’s ok to cry. 

Stay strong molly 

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58 minutes ago, rickproehl said:

molly 

I’m so sorry on your loss. I do know the rage you are feeling as that I just went thru this  same lost. Death is never easy on anyone. When the death comes by accident or by there own hands you have no closure. molly the worse thing is that people stop talking about the ones that died they never speak of them again . It’s like one day they are here and the next day they are gone. It’s not good to keep that all bottled up. Lean on you family, friends. Please know that anyone of us in DiC would take this loss for you so you could get thru this. 

molly anyone of us are there for you if you need to vent or need a friendly ear. So molly know this you never walk alone there is always someone close by and please know it’s ok to cry. 

Stay strong molly 

thanks rick
knowing i can always come here, well that's really been a good thing, it's my safe place
you stay strong too rick
 

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47 minutes ago, mollyhousemouse said:

thanks rick
knowing i can always come here, well that's really been a good thing, it's my safe place
you stay strong too rick
 

molly having friends in DiC have also helped me thru my struggles so you stay safe molly 

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Oh molly... everything about this is absolute shit. Saying that someone is in a better place after they're dead - whether from an illness or an accident - is a hollow, useless sentiment that comforts no one. Yet, you're expected to nod your head in agreement and move on from the loss. Meanwhile, the resentment lingers. I'm very sorry you and your family are facing these tragedies. Feel what you feel, in the way that comforts you, and don't let others tell you everything is fine. Sending a tight hug your way, girl.

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2 hours ago, MacGreg said:

Oh molly... everything about this is absolute shit. Saying that someone is in a better place after they're dead - whether from an illness or an accident - is a hollow, useless sentiment that comforts no one. Yet, you're expected to nod your head in agreement and move on from the loss. Meanwhile, the resentment lingers. I'm very sorry you and your family are facing these tragedies. Feel what you feel, in the way that comforts you, and don't let others tell you everything is fine. Sending a tight hug your way, girl.

thank You Sir
i'll be doing my best to leave the anger here when i go to Colorado
 

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