Ben's Bumblings- Entry 1/24/2025

Middles: Nuances and Distinctions

Note: I am a novice level writer. Everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt or disregarded as I bumble my way around.

This blog entry is dedicated to Nuances and Distinctions that I struggled with halfway into the writing of my first novel:

Showing What Another Character Is Thinking While Being Limited to the Main Character’s Overall Point of View

These are examples I gathered from the community when I found myself in a challenging situation in which Character A needed to gain Character B's trust gradually and I wanted to show Character B changing his mind gradually.

I asked the community: Other than their actions and their words, how would YOU show what another character is thinking while being limited to the main character's overall point of view? 

These were the responses (you can also click on each name to visit their profiles because I found out that mentions are limited, but links are unlimited):

KBois

1- you can italicize the thoughts of the character X so the readers know what he's thinking without relying on 'telling'. At the same time you have character Y pondering X's thoughts and gradually changing his perception. 

2- you can have character Y hypothesize as to what he/she thinks the other person is thinking.  This leaves room for further speculation on the main character's part and an internal dialogue showing the change if heart. 

Thirdly

Though it also feels like cheating, one thing that came to mind other than what Kbois wonderfully suggested, are handwritten notes. 👀 I was a teenager once and I remember playing messenger passing notes from girls to boys, or girls to other girls, and so on. When writing from one friend to another (or anything intimate between couples), so much can be read between the lines. It's why there is a collective panic whenever someone intercepts those notes, especially anything incriminating like calling an ex a fusion of a magical girl and their scent of choice "Sailor Spice." 

Talo Segura

Third person limited is just what it says with the label, it allows a little more freedom with the principal character because you are using he and they, rather than I, but nevertheless the reader is following only this main character's thoughts and inner feelings. The main character may speculate about a secondary character's inner thoughts, but he doesn't know what another person is really thinking. You cannot put the reader inside another character's head, only with third person omniscient where the reader sees all can you do this.

Drown

You are not necessarily limited to just one character's POV though. You can … head hop to another one. This is extremely dangerous territory. But without a lot of finesse, it often comes off heavy-handed. If a story constantly swaps POVs, I will stop reading.

All suggestions above are good though.

I like limited writing POVs, makes it more interesting to deal with such things. Focus on what your main character can see, smell, taste, hear, touch. Have them question their senses, for the reader to really get into the POV's head.

Did he see that expression? It was there, wasn't it? I'm sure it was, oh god, this man was so hard to read! Exhausting. He wished Luke would just come out with it and say what's on his mind. But oh no, we had to sit here and ponder. 

Headstall:

Dialogue and second character's actions, reactions, pauses, tics, facial expressions and the like... but definitely through dialogue for me.

Just a quick example...

Character 2: "Are you sure about that?"

POV: "I was... ah, you don't think so?"

Character 2: "Sure, sure, if that's your take." Leon nodded and smiled, but Ryan knew him well and saw right through it. 

POV: "Okay, well, I haven't made up my mind yet, so--"

Character 2: "You do you, man," Leon said in a rush as he dropped his gaze.

POV: A sigh quietly slid from Ryan's mouth. It was clear his friend thought him crazy for even considering taking Thomas back. Was he angry? It irked him to think he was, so he challenged his poorly concealed attitude. "Why do you hate him so damn much?"

Character 2: Leon's eyebrows rose, and he looked sheepish, but stubborn too, and yeah, at the least, miffed about something. "I don't... hate him exactly, and it's none of my business anyway... it's not my life."

POV: Yeah, he sounded defensive now, and that never went well. Ryan cooled his jets, not wanting to poke and prod.

Character 2: "Listen, I gotta go. I promised my mother I would...." His voice trailed off as he turned away and started walking up his street.

POV: Ryan sighed again, louder this time. Leon was definitely lying--he wasn't fine with anything--and he was going to do what he always did when things got uncomfortable. No doubt he wouldn't see him for a week. He watched his friend's hunched shoulders and hurried gait for a minute, but he never turned around once, like he would have done any other time. Annoyed at how their talk had played out, he strode away in the other direction. He was confused, but something about Leon's demeanor niggled at him. 

LJCC:

By describing things, really. Context and subcontext are the keys to every situation. Subcontext is probably the most important part of storytelling you'd have to insert in everything you write. Without it, its like eating a sugarless cereal. The story would taste very bland. In-your-face writing is literally the opposite of fiction writing. It's like reading a news report. So to successfully hide whatever intention you have with your characters, you have to hide them in a subcontext that the readers will subtly understand. Some writers will directly hint at what the subcontext is (like in this sample), and some will hide it in their graves. 

This is a very short prompt I made to, hopefully (if it makes sense), give my answer to your question:

SETTING:

Context: William is showing his apparent 'fiance' to the guy he slept with last night. A fellow spy.

Subcontext: Roger is doubting himself if William truly feels nothing about what they've shared together the night before. The CIA agent feels there's something more. He's also doubting if the fiance is his real fiance.

• “Well, this is my fiancé,” Damien said, smug as a cat dragging in a half-dead mouse. He turned to face Roger, his expression all polish and ice, heartless, soulless. Roger felt the contrarian demons stir inside him, their claws in his guts, pulling him toward what he shouldn’t feel, shouldn’t want—but did, and did deeply.

  He knew his feelings for Damien, and he knew Damien's duty. Knew, too, what he himself could give, which was less than nothing when the CIA had its iron hand on his leash. And yet, last night—goddamn it—last night had happened. He had let passion, real passion, take the wheel, knowing full well that today Damien would be boarding a plane back to London, back to MI6. Back to the interrogators, with their sharp questions and sharper eyes. If he wasn’t pitch-perfect, it would be his fault because he hadn’t said no to William last night

• Romantic, cold-effacing, heartless Brits. That’s what Damien was—wasn’t he? Or was he just a full-frontal asshole of an American to expect something? He wanted some version of romance, sure, but they were both intelligence officers. No room for distractions. No room for...this. And yet.

• Damien looked at him now, the look of someone who had already filed everything away in a locked box. Roger saw it. He saw the purple shadows pooling around his shoulders like bruises. Whatever connection they’d shared last night was gone, replaced by duty and steel.

  And now, as if the whole moment weren’t absurd enough, Damien was introducing him to this spineless twig of a man—this toothpick masquerading as a person—who was, apparently, William’s fiancé. The words floated, as pompous and self-satisfied as Damien’s tone. Roger swallowed down everything he couldn’t say and told himself, not for the first time, that what happened last night was for nothing. Or was it really for nothing? Because for certain, he'll be thinking of William till the end of his days. Fuck it, he thought. I have to stop his flight, was his convincing tirade in his mind. I'll blow up the plane if I have to.

===

Indirect Versus Direct Conflict:

These are examples I gathered from the community when I found myself in a challenging situation in which I couldn't find enough examples about literary nuances/distinctions between direct and indirect conflict.

I asked the community: 

1. What is a writing example for direct vs. indirect conflict in terms of a disagreement between two parties? 

2. What is a writing example for direct vs. indirect conflict in terms of a physical altercation between two parties? 

3. What are any other types of conflicts that I didn't mention that would result in a direct vs. indirect conflict? Please write an example. 

These were the responses (you can also click on each name to visit their profiles because I found out that mentions are limited, but links are unlimited):

KBois

I literally just finished dealing with an irate resident.

Direct conflict:  The issue was a notice we gave him regarding items on his site that needed to be addressed. 

He was trying to argue with me saying that we are accusing him of not having a valid registration displayed. 

Our notices are basically a checklist... we place an X next to the violation and highlight when it needs to be taken care of. 

He could not comprehend that there was no X checked off by the registration. It was checked next to the 'remove clutter.'

No matter how I tried to explain it to him he didn't get it. This is a direct conflict... both of us engaged in verbal sparring. 

He's lucky I didn't lean over the counter and initiate a direct physical altercation and throat punch him, especially after he started bad-mouthing my staff. I shut that down pretty quick. 

Thirdly