Like it so far, hasn't been much stories where it has political thought. Or ones that are taking one side.

wait! so what'd the coach say to him??

wait! so what'd the coach say to him??

I left that part out on purpose...it's already been written though

Like it so far, hasn't been much stories where it has political thought. Or ones that are taking one side.

Thanks Drewbie I hope you like the whole thing once I get it going full speed

I like the earthy feel to it. There are some fascinating stories around the bottom of the totem poles.

Seems promising so far.

Watch yourself though. Your character loses his voice about four paragraphs to the end, when you really start sermonizing. I'm not saying you're wrong to do so; as I assume that class divide will be a major theme, it's probably best to get it all down in one pill. But you might want to think about words this character would use to talk about the issue. He's intelligent, you've stated, and obviously educated, but that doesn't necessarily translate to magniloquence, or even eloquence.

Another point might be to ask, how educated can he be on this subject? If he's from a rough neighborhood and recent transfer to a magnet school, there could be some pretty wide gaps in his education, particularly in social studies. It doesn't sound like his mother or peers are ones to read Newsweek either, and so he may not have given opportunity to really talk about or even seriously think about complex and non-immediate issues such the earnings gap and its effect on the political process.

It's your story, but you may want to rethink about having these words come out of his mouth.

If I remember well, the last "political" story was one brought by Jake Scribe. Welcome to this new one. I agree with B1ue, but you only need very few changes. And your story is a good opportunity to show us better than in your posts your political orientation .

Dont let us wait too long for the story itself.