and now for something completely different...

Sadly a lot of these are true, a few I can't attest to, and others that are just way-y off base (for me anyhow).

A little local humor:

You know you're from the Inland Empire IF...

1. Every one of your friends, including yourself, has a drinking problem.

2. You're pissed that you live in the 909 but your cell is 951.

3. Everyone is in a band.

4. Statutory rape laws dont exist here.

5. You hook up with someone on Friday night and Saturday morning you have 10 missed calls from people that already heard about it.

6. You've known more than half your friends since junior high, or elementary school

7. You use terms like "Mo Val", "San Berdoo", "Fontucky", "Deadlands", "Blowmont", "Ghettoside", "Tefukula", and "Victimville" to refer to places

8. When you go to parties you bring your own beer and guard it with your life

9. A party isn't a party until the cops come and someone gets knocked out

10. Every Jetta you see has a roxy sticker on the back

11. The whos gonna drive to get more booze conversation is decided by who has the fewest number of D.U.I.'s

12.You try to act as white trash as possible but your parents live in million dollar houses and drive hummers

13. You know at least 10 people with a tattoo of their last name, a star, or a flower

14. At least half the guys you see are wearing black Active socks

15. When all of your girlfriends go off to college, and all your guy friends stay home and work construction

16. You walk into a party and you've hooked up with at least half the people there

17. Even the people you haven't seen since high school still manage to find out what and who you are doing

18. You walk into Von's or Rite Aid and see at least 5 people you know

19. You have an Uncle Jager.

20. You participate in the cycle of: A ) Seeing old people at parties and then B ) Being the old people at parties.

21. "Your mom" is the most common phrase in your vocabulary.

22. You walk to your truck at Victoria gardens and mistaking put your key in one of the 50 black lifted silverados with Famous stickers on them...

23. You still miss Metro and Gotham.

24. You go to victoria gardens on friday night, saturday night and sunday night because there isnt much else to do...

25. You know what a Bro is, and what a Bro Hoe is.

26. Being called a Bro Hoe isnt a good thing yet all of them are excited to be called one.

27. when monday night bowling is the highlight of your week.

28. you go to the Branding Iron on Wednesday nights.

29. You know what people do at "the Top of Haven "

30. your whole life is DRAMA.

31. You cant start a day without Starbucks.

32. You run into your ex's ALL the time.

33. When you think Fontana is ghetto. (fontucky)

34. when you have been to a Quakes game on friday night.

35. you were disappointed to learn that Hemet is no longer the Meth capital of the world

36. u know what emo is... but you're too "hardcore"

37. You have gone offroading off the 71

39. You have been to a Rufio concert.

40. you know someone who works at Active, Hollister or Abercrombie.

41. u know someone who went through the "bleaching" the hair phase, with spikes

42. u WERE someone who went through the "bleaching" the hair phase, with spikes

43. You have crossed a raging flood . . . in an intersection

44. Kids love their cars more than they love their parents

45. You know that snoop dogg lives 10 min away and where his house is.

46. You know that snoop dogg's mom lives 10 min away and where her house is.

47. You know at least 10 people that had to be evacuated from their homes because of the wildfires.

48. You WERE at one point evacuated from your house because of wildfires.

49.You take the 10 or 60 to get somewhere that is 5 min away, but it takes 45 minutes to get there

50. all ur old friends have kids.. and u know their baby daddy.

51. At least 5 of your friends has their lip pierced.

52. lifted trucks have west coast choppers, Tapout, or Famous stickers

53. u eat dennys or albertos after a hard night of partyin'!!!!

54. u know someone with a 50cc pit bike

55. you know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows travis barker

56. Every radio station fades into spanish at least once during your commute

57. If you go to the University of Redlands, you can't help but laugh whenever all the rich kids stand mouth-agape when you tell them that Redlands was the fun place to go on the weekend when you were in high school.

58. You flipped your shit when they mentioned Riverside on the OC.

Hope you enjoyed!

Steve