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Some Old Broad At a Restaurant

Mark Arbour


I was eating lunch at a restaurant a few days ago. I went by myself to get some peace and quiet while I was grading finals. Peace and quiet. Yeah right.


My table was in the corner, and there was another table to my right, set up so the person on the opposite side was facing me. There was an older woman and a younger woman at the table talking, while the old broad was facing my table so I could hear her just as well as her friend. Plus you know how some of those old people have problems with the volume of their voices anyway. Old Woman was talking about her daughter and her daughter's "friend", who was, according to Old Woman, effeminate. She goes on this lengthy dissertation about how this young man is a good friend to her daughter, even if he is "that way." She expands, talking about homosexuality and how it's not a sin to be gay, it's a sin to act on it. So according to her, as long as this young man doesn't commit any homosexual acts, he's fine. Soon as he sucks a dick, well, it's straight to hell. Well, not entirely. She still thought that having those thoughts were a "sin", but that didn't really matter because everyone sins. How magnanimous of her.


By now I'm really eavesdropping, gleeful that Old Woman will probably die in the next 10 years, one more homophobe gone from the face of the earth. Then she goes on to explain to her friend that we all have our crosses to bear, and that God gives us those to challenge us. But we have to bear it, we have to resist temptation. So God has made this young man gay, but he needs to resist his urges. That is his destiny. That is what God has planned for him.


And then, the most telling piece of this conversation. The topic turns to her own sex life, and she mentions how she never liked sex. She always thought that the earth would move, that it would be the end-all-be-all of experiences, to bowl her over, but it wasn't. She was willing to grant that it was OK, but she didn't see the big deal. Her friend asked her if she ever talked about this (sex) with her husbands, and of course she didn't. Barry (evidently the first one) would have been too embarrassed to talk about it. I didn't catch a reason for her not talking to the other one.


I wonder if that isn't the missing link in determining why people are homophobic? Maybe they're all jealous that these gay people are having sex and enjoying it while they don't.


Save a homophobe. Give him or her an orgasm.


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I think that is the problem with all people who think sex is a sin. They are,also jealous of anyone having it!!!!!!!!!

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We know what she thinks of homosexuals as sinners. I would be interested in her thoughts on serial heterosexual marriages. She actually has some experience with that one. :P

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Yes yes, a plague o' the homophobes!


Nah, I'll resist the temptation to despise her for just this reason. Sure people like her have some backwards thinking, but I shouldn't readily return antipathy for people I don't know.

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Ironically, it's possible that the reason she never enjoyed sex is because she never did it with a girl. It's often the ones who have something to hide who are the biggest homophobes.

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That's ok Bang. I'll just run her fat ass down in the parking lot. We'll call it an unfortunate accident. That way none of us have to feel any particular antipathy for her. I might have some 'splaining to do if I burn out on her face.




What if the reason she didn't like sex was because she was really a lesbian and had been suppressing it for all those years?


According to her own jebus logic... you've got to wonder.

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You may very well be right, but I'm not so sure. I think that she never really had her sexual being awakened (the women in here are better at evaluating that line of thought) so she really doesn't know what she's missing.


For men, it's so easy. It starts with masturbating, then you're golden. You almost have to; There's not much choice. But do women have to? Some women claim they never do. Maybe they repress their sexuality, and that's what you end up with.

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Hmm... interesting question. I think I may be a tad more broad minded than most but the answer for me is... GODS yes I have to. I would EXPLODE if I didn't have an orgasm at least a couple of times a week usually at least once a day and if there's a person on the other end of it then probably more than once a day :)


The problem is that it was very traditional for women to suppress their sexuality. In my little valley it is still something that is not spoken about in the older generation.. it just does not do to admit you like sex let alone to talk about it or admit you absolutely f**king LOVE it. I shock my mother at least once a week. :)



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Is her attitude really that shocking? That's the pretty standard Catholic take on homosexuality and sex, after all.


I'm also not sure on your line of reasoning as far as homophobia and bad sex. Well, you may have something about the latter leading to the former, but perhaps it is because people who've never had and face no prospect of ever having mind-blowing orgasms are better able to decide that sex is for one holy purpose and that one purpose only than your average 12-year-old boy who just discovered his new favorite toy that requires no batteries.

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I would totally buy your t-shirt. Great slogan.


And I do agree that most older folks just couldn't accept they liked sex and even begin to think on experimenting with their own sexuality. It's rather sad, actually.


Specially because of all the buts and objections.


I say, share the love!

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This woman sounds exactly like my grandmother, but I'm pretty sure she hasn't been down your way recently.


I really think it is possible that she just does not enjoy sex in general. I have a strangely large number of asexual friends, so I can vouch for the fact that it's possible.

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