Poetic Justice of a One Night Stand

[Jason Rimbaud]

check out a new short story I posted in e-fiction, called Poetic Justice of a One Night Stand

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...5&chapter=1

 

 

Summery: The consequences are all consuming.

 

Jason R.

Edited July 30, 2007 by Jason R

[RJ Santos]

Hey Jason

 

I think you know what I'm about to say so I won't say it again. I mean, anymore.

 

Check out this short story guys!

[Ieshwar]

Jason,

 

I..ah forget it. I'm not able to express myself properly after reading ths story. Perhaps someone else will do it at my place.

 

But you know what? Was he trying to wash off the stains of sex and cum from his room? Ha! Of course not! It was the guilt building up in his soul which was stinking and the stains were coz of the unshed tears. But it's not with detergents that he'll succeed.

 

I feel sick, diseased and lifeless.

So true!!! He is and he absolutely deserve it.

 

And a question- does this type of man exist? Those callous to the unheard sound of a breaking heart or to the stab in the heart...

 

Ieshwar

(and perhaps a potential Alex too...)

 

P.S It was a great story, with great imagery and very well-written. It's just the subject matter...

[Jason Rimbaud]

Thank you again Rad, and while I knew what you were going to say, I want to hear them again.

 

And Iesh, you've stated the reason behind this story perfectly. Can we identify with the narrator in this story? Not really, though he's in a place where his behavior is even disturbing him on many levels.

 

But usually the reader seems to identify with the Alex character. Most of us has been right where Alex stood, most of us has been taken advantage of in our youth. The purpose behind this story is two-fold, one to be a cautionary tale, don't let your dick lead you into becoming another Alex. Though at times it seems rare, love and commitment do exist. And the second purpose, sex does not equate love. It never has, and never will.

 

Thanks for the kind words,

 

Jason R.

Edited July 31, 2007 by Jason R

[Conner]

Unequivocally a sobering story, but intensely thought provoking as well.

 

I have to agree with Jason, Ieshwar, your thoughts were right on target.

 

I do find myself being rather overwhelmed by my pessimistic side. The world will never be in short supply of Alex's. We are all vulnerable at times. Let's face it, loneliness is a bitch. Even the narrator understood that Alex wasn't there for the sex.

 

I can still see the look on his face, a sad look of quiet acceptance. It was heartbreaking, to see someone so broken, so conditioned to believe how wrong f**king a guy truly is. I saw hints of tears in his blue eyes as he quickly got dressed. Alex is still young, young enough to have delusions about finding true love and lasting commitments. In the brief time he spent in my bed, I think I might have jaded him, tarnished his golden armor, set him on the path of becoming another jaded fag, just like me.

 

For me, these were the most poigant lines in the short. I must admit I find myself wondering how or why the narrator became so jaded. Was he an Alex at some point?

 

Again, remarkably well written, Jason. The use of the repeating sentence was demonstrably effective.

 

Conner

[RJ Santos]

Yeah, I wanna know too. Was the narrator an Alex at some point? And I identify with him on some level, Jason. It's like you just gotta use sex to feel. There had been hurts in the past that sometimes it takes physical pleasure to just feel something equivalent to good. Sex. And this story tells just that, plus the downside of it all.

[Jason Rimbaud]

Rad,

 

I think the narrator was an "Alex" in his young days. I picture him to be in his late twenties, single and very much alone. So much alone that he hooks up with a twenty-one year old in a straight bar. He's had ten years of one night stands, internet hook-ups, and endless nights inside of bath houses. A man that has grown up with the idea that being a gay man is about sex, bars, and orgies. The idea of having and maintaining a lasting relationship is something he wants but really doesn't have the proper tools to achieve this happiness. A man who has been taught that gay men aren't equipped to remain with a single partner forever.

 

This is an observation I've made of the gay lifestyle here in San Francisco. Have you ever wondered why you rarely see older gay couples hanging out at the clubs? I think they know that that lifestyle is detrimental to staying together.

 

Over the years, I've seen so many "Alex's" in the clubs. Little lost twinks that believe being gay consists of behaving like Brian Kenny from Queer As Folk. They lose the best part of themselves doing drugs, sleeping with a different boy/man every night. I think for some of them, they are merely mimicking what they see on TV and from what they see other gay men doing. It's really a sad sight, to see these young boys get lost in this world of mirrors and lies. Because I think most of them really want to find someone special and live out their lives in blissful love. But rarely can you find true happiness that lasts sitting on a bar stool.

 

If you notice, at the beginning of the story, the narrator blocks out the real reason he feels dirty. He spends his time cleaning the shower, the sheets, the carpets, and even himself. And when this fails to eradicate his feelings, he begins putting the blame on Alex. He describes Alex as having bad breath, too much body hair, and only going through the motions. He tries to convince himself that having sex with Alex was never about pleasing the boy.

 

But when he saw the look in Alex's eyes, realization hit him of the night's true consequences. The emptiness that consumes him, maybe for the first time, when he sees how his behavior affected the boy. When he sees how much damage he did to Alex, he saw the innocence leave as the boy fought back the tears, he feels dirty. Because not only does he know that he will never achieve happiness in one night stands, but he might have just set the boy on the path to becoming another jaded man, to walk the same empty path the narrator walks.

 

In that moment, he admits that Alex didn't have bad breath, or too much body hair. And that Alex wasn't lifeless in bed, but passionate and filled with vigor and life. He admits that he might never feel clean again, the consequences of his actions consume him.

 

Jason R.

 

PS: I have to thank DesDownUnder for giving me the title, Poetic Justice of a One Night Stand. Without him, it would still be named something very stupid.

[RJ Santos]