What do you most regret?

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi all,

 

Sombre subject I know, but I was thinking this evening about how I wasn't out in high school. I had a friend who was obviously gay though. Everyone knew it. Only he wasn't really the "strongest" of people and the pressure of things led him to make some bad decisions. His first sexual experience occurred he was about 16 or 17 with a 30 or 40 something year old man who, to be charitable, only wanted him for sex. Then in college he feel into the drug culture and, despite having always been a very intelligent, promising student, ended up dropping out of school and working THREE jobs to try to support his habit.

 

Eventually he more or less cleaned up his act, but it was only by joining a religiously jealous group which, besides the drugs, reinforced his ALREADY self-destructive feelings of self-loathing over being gay. Last I heard he was preaching against the "sins of homosexuality" and on bad days getting drunk and hooking up.

 

Anyway, I regret not being there for him. I somehow feel like maybe if I'd been out, and had looked after him properly things would have turned out better for him.

 

So what do YOU regret?

 

-Kevin

[Menzoberranzen]

Mmm, I was recently asked about this, and I can't really come up with anything. I don't regret much, and even my bad decisions have served as learning experiences, and I don't regret them per se. I'm young, though, without much baggage, so I'm sure my answer will be markedly different in a few years.

 

Menzo

[NaperVic]

I have two regrets...

 

1) I regret not having come out earlier to myself and the public. I really only accepted my gayness when I was 27 (don't ask me to explain all the gay porn I had since I was 16yo ... a phase that I would grow out of perhaps?). I missed out on 9 years of dating men.

 

2) When I was in the 7th Grade, there was this boy named Chris. He was soooo nice to me and we had the best time together for two years. However, he always wanted to come over to my house and hang out outside of school, but I kept him at a distance because I was embarassed as his family was better off than mine and I was ashamed for him to see my house. So our friendship consisted mostly of our time at school, and me deflecting his attempts to meet outside of school.

 

During our 8th Grade trip to Great America (the amusment park outside of Chicago), we spent the entire day together, just the two of us and that is still one of the best times I've ever had in my life. He had more money for the trip than I had, but we basically pooled our money together and spent it equally.

 

He moved away the summer after 8th grade and I never saw him again. I didn't understand it at the time, but I think we were attracted to each other. Every once in a while, I try to 'search' for him on the internet, but I haven't been able to find him. I also keep hoping he lists himself on Classmates.com, but alas, no luck yet.

 

So my 2nd regret is not having kept in touch with him. It's silly to think this, but I always think of him as being my soul mate. So Chris if you're out there, PM me.

 

Vic

[BeaStKid]

Okay, the biggest thing I regret is not going to an all boys school---for obvious reasons!!! lol

 

But that is in hindsight. When I look at the way my life has turned out...I mean I don't know if I would have wanted it any other way. I made some very silly, rash decisions in 8th grade which I regret and given a chance to go back, would never ever even think about them!! I regret some things I did in 4th grade. I regret not doing much to save my family from a tough emotional breakdown. I regret turning down the advances of a cute boy in fear of being outed. Sigh!

 

I think that would be enough for now.

[Ieshwar]

Okay, the biggest thing I regret is not going to an all boys school---for obvious reasons!!! lol

 

Be careful what you wish for, Beastie! I go to an all-boy school. I won't say it's bad coz I just love my school (despite hwo shitty it may be; we're reall fanatic our school over here!). And funnily enough, I never looked at the boys in that way. I always considered them as my brothers and I'm not really into incest. There're a few cute ones but that's it. Except one on which I had a crush last year. But that's coz I knew him before I knew that he's from my college. (five years but I never noticed him. Blind me)

 

But what I miss is the girls! I find it easier to talk to girls. They're more laid back and at ease with expressing their emotions. I admire them for this.

 

Regrets? Not much! Yeah, a few times I regret not having done my best. I'm pretty lazy. So I give myself at most. This sucks!

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[BeaStKid]

I said in the next line that I would not have changed it after experiencing the co-ed situation!! lol...anyways, the all-boys in question is quite a good school---One of the best in India---and I would have really liked to go there...not to only ogle at other boys but as I mentioned it, It is one of the best (so was the alternative I chose) and all-boys was just an added perk...lol..

[Benji]

I said in the next line that I would not have changed it after experiencing the co-ed situation!! lol...anyways, the all-boys in question is quite a good school---One of the best in India---and I would have really liked to go there...not to only ogle at other boys but as I mentioned it, It is one of the best (so was the alternative I chose) and all-boys was just an added perk...lol..

 

 

...I know a few of you are going to say "yeah, but you could always quit" well quiting is easy, I've done a hundred times. However my biggest regret is that I started smoking in the 1st place, I went all thriough High School without touching the stuff and in my 1st month of bootcamp I start smoking (in all fairness, with next stop being 'nam, it was an easy thing to do, dumb but easy)

[Jack Frost]

I rarely regret. Whatever I have regretted in my life, that I will not tell you. Sorry.

[AFriendlyFace]

I rarely regret. Whatever I have regretted in my life, that I will not tell you. Sorry.

Surely you regret calling me (not to mention my almost painfully shy friend CJ) a "Post Whore"! In fact when I saw that you were the last one to comment in this thread I thought, "ah, Jack's come to tell us how he's been wailing and rending his clothes ever since that fateful day"

 

Kevin

[Graeme]

I believe I'm the sum of all the decisions and events that I've experienced. There are some that I wish I hadn't experienced, but I can't think of any that don't have some good side to them. WHile there are many things I wish I'd done differently, if I had done them differently, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

[The Reaper]

"There is no such thing as regret, only remorse."

[Myk]

What don't I regret?!? But that is my plight for thinking far too much....too many possibilities and I'll nevr know which is best! In the end, its best to live your life with no regrets, if you can. Follow your personal code of morals and ethics and if anything goes wrong, take it as a learning experience. That is soooooo true cause I find whenever I'm right about something I don't actually learn anything!!!

 

Greg

[Jack Frost]

Surely you regret calling me (not to mention my almost painfully shy friend CJ) a "Post Whore"! In fact when I saw that you were the last one to comment in this thread I thought, "ah, Jack's come to tell us how he's been wailing and rending his clothes ever since that fateful day"

 

Kevin

Dream on shoppingwhore.

[Kurt]

Since this topic was posted I have been thinking about what I regret. Nothing big has come up that I truly regret. There are a few small things that I regret not doing, but there really is no big thing that I regret.

[Thirdeye]

I regret wasting 5 years of my life being scared, stupid and feeling sorry for myself

[AFriendlyFace]

Dream on shoppingwhore.

I was going to respond to this as soon as I read it...but then I got distracted making other posts... and then I heard about this sale and...

 

Since this topic was posted I have been thinking about what I regret. Nothing big has come up that I truly regret. There are a few small things that I regret not doing, but there really is no big thing that I regret.

Well that's awesome, Kurt!

 

I regret wasting 5 years of my life being scared, stupid and feeling sorry for myself

Awww

 

Just remember your past got you where you are now

[Bondwriter]

I regret not having actually enslaved Jack Frost to force him to write the end of Moving On. And leaving him on the loose coming around for taunting.

[Dezlboi]

I will always regret how I treated the first boy I really has feelings for.

 

This was in jr. high and high school, and I wouldn't figure out and understand that I had feelings for guys for quite some time; so the butterflies in my stomach that I'd get whenever he was around, or whenever we sat side-by-side in his bean bag chair playing Mega Man 2 on his Nintendo on weekends were very very confusing.

 

I would want to be with him all the time, and I would get jealous of the relationships he had with other friends. Seeing him with his first girlfriend REALLY threw me over the edge. I was so jealous - I wanted to be on the receiving end of all of that attention. All of this mixed-up emotion melded into a very strange resentment of him. I would act out towards him in all sorts of ways, and made things very tough for him for quite a while. I wouldn't have ever done him any physical harm, but the specifics of some of the stupid crap I did are just too shameful for me to recount at the moment.

 

After a long time of losing touch, we did speak a few years back and I explained everything. I don't know if he understood, but he did tell me that he had no ill feelings towards me. He forgave me, but I will still hate myself for that for the rest of my life.

[old bob]

as Reaper says :

"There is no such thing as regret, only remorse."

I agree with him.

But there is a difference.

Regret: to be sorry for, to repent, to grieve at, to miss

[BeaStKid]

But what I regret most : That the day has only 24 hours. There are so many things I want to do....

And time is pressing....

Totally agreed...as a matter of fact, I made this comment somewhere else too. I guess in the Games and Humour Forum...

[old bob]

Totally agreed...as a matter of fact, I made this comment somewhere else too. I guess in the Games and Humour Forum...

You are right !

But the feeling of time flow is not the same when you are 16 or 78

carpe diem BeatSKid (trad : enjoy th day, its latin)

[BeaStKid]

You are right !

But the feeling of time flow is not the same when you are 16 or 78

carpe diem BeatSKid (trad : enjoy th day, its latin)

Agrees wholeheartedly!!

[ashessnow]

In 5th grade my teacher decided to create a student newspaper. ( I believe it was "The Room 36 News" or something like that.) I had to write an article with a partner about new and upcoming movies that were coming out and rate/review them. I did all of the research myself while my partner sat on her ass and talked to her friends. A few days before it was due I asked her if she was going to do anything and she blatantly told me no. I wrote and typed up the article and handed it in when it was due. While my teacher was reviewing it on the computer, she noticed I had only my name to the article.

 

My point is this: I regret telling the teacher who my partner was and not letting the bitch fail like she should have.

[Benji]

In 5th grade my teacher decided to create a student newspaper. ( I believe it was "The Room 36 News" or something like that.) I had to write an article with a partner about new and upcoming movies that were coming out and rate/review them. I did all of the research myself while my partner sat on her ass and talked to her friends. A few days before it was due I asked her if she was going to do anything and she blatantly told me no. I wrote and typed up the article and handed it in when it was due. While my teacher was reviewing it on the computer, she noticed I had only my name to the article.

 

My point is this: I regret telling the teacher who my partner was and not letting the bitch fail like she should have.

 

 

......Ouch!! Hope it doesn't keep you awake at night

Edited August 16, 2007 by Benji

[Raro]

In 5th grade my teacher decided to create a student newspaper. ( I believe it was "The Room 36 News" or something like that.) I had to write an article with a partner about new and upcoming movies that were coming out and rate/review them. I did all of the research myself while my partner sat on her ass and talked to her friends. A few days before it was due I asked her if she was going to do anything and she blatantly told me no. I wrote and typed up the article and handed it in when it was due. While my teacher was reviewing it on the computer, she noticed I had only my name to the article.

 

My point is this: I regret telling the teacher who my partner was and not letting the bitch fail like she should have.

 

So... sometime in high school I had some project for school and a really unenthusiastic lab partner, and ended up doing what you regret not doing: I wrote the whole thing myself, explaining to the teacher that my partner hadn't wanted to help, and handed it in. The teacher promptly told me that the assignment was to be done "with your partner", and thus I hadn't done the assignment either. So he let us redo the assignment together; after an excruciating couple hours hammering out basic english with this really unenthusiastic partner we turned it in, and got some awful grade. I'm not sure if the grade was really because our project was so bad, or in retribution for not doing it "together" in the first place. This teacher was all about teaching us odd lessons, and I'm still not entirely sure what point he was trying to make.

 

Anyway, about my personal regrets... so this cute guy moved into my building, and while we were talking last night this perfect opportunity came up for me to drop a gay reference, to kinda "feel him out", and I missed it/chickened out. Yep. That's about it for the moment. I tend to nurse a regret until I've thoroughly absorbed ("grokked") it, and then put it behind me.

 

-- Raro