Let Love In

[york366]

This is a new short story I wrote. It is about how someone finds peace with their love.

 

Let Love In

 

Let me know what you think! Anything at all!

 

Thanks!

 

-Kyle

[Graeme]

Wow!

 

The ending took me by surprise, and I didn't like it. That is, I didn't like what happened, not the writing. The writing was great

 

One thing I would suggest is a change to the opening paragraph. The "I am" in the first sentence was fine, but in the second sentence and last sentence of that paragraph I think it should be contracted to "I'm".

 

The repetitive paragraphs were great. The general rule is to avoid using the same words/phrases too often, but this story shows how effective that repetition can be when done deliberately and carefully.

 

Congratulations! This is a very good short story, even if I would have personally preferred a different ending.

[Ieshwar]

Wow, that was a really good story. With great descriptions and imagery! I really loved it!!! Well written.

 

But I didn't find the ending bad! I found it rather realistic! I feel that the character was a teen. And suicide is a thought that keeps crossing our minds at those periods of time. Many don't do it (thank god!) but some do...

 

Graet job

 

Ieshwar