[AFriendlyFace] Going In

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi all,

 

Please check out my new piece, Going In

 

I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think!

 

-Kevin

Edited March 24, 2009 by AFriendlyFace

[Richard Lyon]

That's a very clever idea. It might benefit if it were expanded a bit to set the family in something like a Berkelyesque context.

 

There's the notion that young men typically need to rebel against their parents. Since most middle aged parents have become somewhat conservative, rebellion usually takes the form of being liberal. When you are a family who is determinedly liberal, rebellion has to go the other way.

 

Obviously this is meant as a satire on the classic coming out scene. However, going to war isn't exactly the conceptual opposite of that.

[Cynical Romantic]

A fun parody piece, though I agree with Richard that the analogy isn't quite accurate. After all, unlike sexuality, enlisting in the military is a choice.

 

My only critique would be that I found the satire to be a little heavy-handed. You could probably get away with a lot more subtlety and still get your point across, if you were inclined to do so. (I would've sent that as a PM, except I know you usually encourage public critiques, so I hope you don't mind me posting that here).

[AFriendlyFace]

That's a very clever idea. It might benefit if it were expanded a bit to set the family in something like a Berkelyesque context.

Thanks, Richard,

 

Yeah, I thought about it expanding it a bit and probably should have. It was just a silly little idea that occurred to me randomly and only took a few minutes to bash out. So I probably didn't give it as much attention as necessary.

 

There's the notion that young men typically need to rebel against their parents. Since most middle aged parents have become somewhat conservative, rebellion usually takes the form of being liberal. When you are a family who is determinedly liberal, rebellion has to go the other way.

Exactly

 

Obviously this is meant as a satire on the classic coming out scene. However, going to war isn't exactly the conceptual opposite of that.

Yes, that's very true.

 

A fun parody piece, though I agree with Richard that the analogy isn't quite accurate. After all, unlike sexuality, enlisting in the military is a choice.

Thanks CR, and yeah, you guys are right; it's isn't quite analogous at all.

 

My only critique would be that I found the satire to be a little heavy-handed. You could probably get away with a lot more subtlety and still get your point across, if you were inclined to do so.

I'm sure you're right. Had I indeed extended it and broadened it a bit I probably would have, but as it stood I just wanted to have fun with making it outrageous and absurd. I meant it more to pay homage to the sort of ridiculous, largely unrealistic comedy scenes you see in movies and television, than to actually be believable or moving.

 

However, I'm sure you're both right and it would have been much better literature if I'd expanded the idea and toned it down a bit.

 

I hope you both got a couple of laughs or eye-rolls out of it though

 

(I would've sent that as a PM, except I know you usually encourage public critiques, so I hope you don't mind me posting that here).

Oh definitely! I think it gives people a great opportunity to consider angles they might have considered and come up with new points that way. I know that personally speaking when I've read threads about a story I've often thought, 'that's a good point! I hadn't considered that." I've then thought of separate, related points to mention from there. So yeah, good or bad I definitely welcome a thoughtful review, and I thank you both for your comments

 

Take care and have an awesome day

Kevin

[Richard Lyon]

It was a nice chuckle and that appears to be what you intended it to be.

 

If you wanted to develop this into biting satire, the driving irony could be that there are indeed parents who would rather see their sons march off to their death in war than have them caught sucking a cock.

[AFriendlyFace]

It was a nice chuckle and that appears to be what you intended it to be.

 

If you wanted to develop this into biting satire, the driving irony could be that there are indeed parents who would rather see their sons march off to their death in war than have them caught sucking a cock.

That's very true and very tragic

 

I was actually superficially exploring one of my own great fears with the story. Obviously I'd have no issue with my son being gay (indeed I'd have a slight preference for it, but would be fine either way), but I'd be utterly horrified if he wanted to join the army.

 

I'd actually probably go through many of the same reaction's John's family did. I'd try to support his autonomy and his decision, and I wouldn't be ashamed of him, but I would be a very sad and scared. I'd also be quite disappointed in general even if not explicitly in him. I don't think I'd actually believe that anti-war songs and movies could change his mind, but I suppose you never know what I'd cling to if I were desperate. I probably would be wishing he'd spent less time doing aggressive activities (like football) and instead had engaged in artsier hobbies. Of course I wouldn't think it had anything to do with being a vegetarian, that was definitely just a joke.

 

When you think about it, it's easy to see how parents can react a certain way to their child's gayness. Like a well meaning parent I would primarily be concerned with his safety and happiness, and I would fear that by going into the army he was endangering those things. Also, as a pacifist the thought of my child engaging in armed warfare is certainly disconcerting.

 

However, first and foremost I think it is important to support your children's decisions and while joining the army isn't exactly a decision I would be thrilled about it or agree with, I don't actually think it's immoral. I'd also be proud of him for pursuing his own goals and interests and doing what he felt was necessary, ESPECIALLY against the subtle pressure against this particular decision that he would probably have felt growing up. That is courageous and laudable.

 

So I wouldn't scream, and I wouldn't cry (at least not in front of him), and I wouldn't try to manipulate him, but I probably would gently try to talk him out of it and at the very least be certain it was something that he felt like he needed and wanted to do. In the end I think I would support him, but no, not his decision. That (not being able to support the decision itself) is something I'm embarrassed about and slightly disappointed in myself about.

 

For the record I'd feel the same way if it were my daughter we were talking about.

 

-Kevin

Edited August 16, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Tiger]

That was quite funny, Kevin. I couldn't help but think of the awkward coming out when I read it. I hope that's what you intended it to be a parody of. Otherwise, I totally missed the boat.

[Benji]

That was quite funny, Kevin. I couldn't help but think of the awkward coming out when I read it. I hope that's what you intended it to be a parody of. Otherwise, I totally missed the boat.

 

 

............Exactly, I took this to be this was a great parody on a different dimension. Obviously, Kevin had a two-fold implication with it. Being a vet, I have prided myself, yet worried when my 'kids' went off to fight.

[Tiff]

That was quite funny, Kevin. I couldn't help but think of the awkward coming out when I read it. I hope that's what you intended it to be a parody of. Otherwise, I totally missed the boat.

Kevin, this was funny. When I read it, I couldn't quite believe what I was reading. Luckily, I made the connection right away, otherwise I'd feel like some idiot. But I think the fact that you were so obvious made it as humorous as it was. It was out there, but also with an element of truth, so I thought it had a great balance. Being subtle works too, but this just added to what you were trying to do/get across. I'm not sure if I would have laughed as much if it was subtle.

 

I particularly loved the mother's reaction...something about vegan? It's something a mother would say, blaming themselves. Then the brother saying he could change.

 

Great work!

[AFriendlyFace]

That was quite funny, Kevin. I couldn't help but think of the awkward coming out when I read it. I hope that's what you intended it to be a parody of. Otherwise, I totally missed the boat.

Wait what? You thought this was a parody of coming out?

 

NOOOOOO, this was supposed to be a parody of how difficult it is to live a simplistic life in our materialistic world!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

............Exactly, I took this to be this was a great parody on a different dimension. Obviously, Kevin had a two-fold implication with it. Being a vet, I have prided myself, yet worried when my 'kids' went off to fight.

Thanks, Benji

 

I'm really pleased to find out how it was taken by vets! I meant it in a positive light with the over-arching theme being acceptance and doing what you feel you must.

 

I was more skewering ultra-liberals than anyone else...because I myself am an ultra-liberal so I thought we were fair game

 

Of course that is the ultimate irony of the situation. John's family wouldn't have had any trouble with him being gay, or being in an interracial relationship, or changing religions, etc., but when it came to a more conservative topic like the army they were suddenly less tolerant and accepting.

 

Kevin, this was funny. When I read it, I couldn't quite believe what I was reading. Luckily, I made the connection right away, otherwise I'd feel like some idiot. But I think the fact that you were so obvious made it as humorous as it was. It was out there, but also with an element of truth, so I thought it had a great balance. Being subtle works too, but this just added to what you were trying to do/get across. I'm not sure if I would have laughed as much if it was subtle.

 

I particularly loved the mother's reaction...something about vegan? It's something a mother would say, blaming themselves. Then the brother saying he could change.

 

Great work!

Thanks Tiff!

 

I'm glad the obviousness was okay. I agree with CR and Richard that the piece would probably have been more effective if it had been broadened and understated, but despite other goals I first and foremost just wanted to give everyone a good laugh.

 

 

I really enjoy writing humourous pieces and this one was sort of testing the waters. I'd love to do more of these sorts of things in the future.

 

 

Thanks, ya'll

 

-Kevin

Edited August 17, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[canundra]

I wonder if there are actually parents like this. So liberal (or whatever) that they'd be against their son/daughter joining the U.S. military.

[AFriendlyFace]

I wonder if there are actually parents like this. So liberal (or whatever) that they'd be against their son/daughter joining the U.S. military.

Yeah, hypothetically me, and literally my mom. She'd have thrown a much bigger fit if I'd told her I was joining the army than when I told her I was gay.

Edited August 17, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Richard Lyon]

I wonder if there are actually parents like this. So liberal (or whatever) that they'd be against their son/daughter joining the U.S. military.

 

It wouldn't be difficult be difficult to find families like that in the San Francisco Bay Area. There's a political push on here the eliminate Jr. ROTC from the high schools.

[Former Member]

You got a giggle out of me with the vegan part! It was like watching a sitcom's take on coming out. Very enjoyable!

[AFriendlyFace]

You got a giggle out of me with the vegan part! It was like watching a sitcom's take on coming out. Very enjoyable!

Thanks!

 

You know to be honest, when I was writing it I was envisioning a sort of over-the-top, SNL style sketch.

[old bob]

I was going "randomly" through e-fiction and came to your story. Nice find !

I make me laugh a lot and I will now smile all the evening (its 7 pm here). Thanks Kevin .

[Ieshwar]

A very funny one. The right anti-war song was simply hilarious! Of course, I enjoyed the story.

 

Thanks for sharing this!

 

Take care.

Ieshwar

[David McLeod]

I was cruising the "View New Posts" and found Leshwar's which led me to the story. Really excellent. I was completely taken in by the last scene: when the lights flashed on, I thought he'd be facing a "detox team" from some church. But that's just the way I think.