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[AFriendlyFace] WAS - Chapter 3 - Awash With Information


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Hi all,

 

Sorry about this, but I have to run out for the evening and I haven't had time all day to post this in eFiction (which takes me a LONG time), so I'm posting it here for now and will get to eFiction later.

 

I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think! :)

 

-Kevin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

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Worth A Shot

 

Chapter 3: Awash with Information

 

 

Edited by AFriendlyFace
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Hey...we can post our comments under this right? I was thinking of starting a new thread, but ehh, I'm lazy and this seems like it saves space. :D

 

Thanks for posting this, Kevin. I was feeling moody all day, and then I was dragged walking by my sister and her bf, and I'm so sick of them being in my face all the time!!!!

 

......anyway, I needed something good to read and lift my mood, so :wub:

 

Not a lot went on in this chapter, but I still loved finding out about Cosmo and everyone's backgrounds. It gives all the characters more depth. Although Aaron doesn't know Jose well, Jose is looking better and better in my eyes. He's just overly protective and comes off as an ass, but it's obvious he loves his friends, and is willing to take care of Cosmo, financially, and emotionally/mentally. Very sweet.

 

Oh, I still dislike Daisy. He's still an ass...an ass I'd like to kick. How he can manipulate his friends is beyond me, but I'm sure there is still more to the group that we don't know about. I wish Ben stood up a little more for Aaron in this chapter. Ben was, like, nonexistent.

 

Cosmo is extremely frustrating. He knows drinking is bad for him, but he still continues to use it, to rely on it. There are so many other things he can do to get himself out of bed each morning, but instead he clings to drinking, and all his friends let him. On the other hand, I really sympathize with Cosmo. He obviously regrets his past, and contracting HIV. He just covers it up by being pleasantly drunk, and being super friendly to hide his true feelings. When he tells Aaron that Jose is as close as a husband he'll ever get, it was very heartbreaking. Who doesn't wish things had turn out differently? Especially him. Maybe he wouldn't be sick then. For a secondary character, Cosmo makes me really feel for him. You want to slap him upside the head one minute, and hug him the next. Good job.

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  • Site Administrator

Great chapter Kevin, and thanks :worship: .

 

I really liked the chapter, and mainly for one reason.

 

The conversation between Cosmo and Aaron was very honest, truthful and realistic.

 

You could tell that Aaron was genuine and interested in Cosmo's health, life, and well being as well. Even though it would be easier to just ignore the questions that Juan brought up, he still had the courage to ask the difficult questions.

 

If anything, I think the night will be a large step forward in Aaron and Cosmo's relationship.

 

I did find it interesting that most of the guys in the group really with the exception of Jose, do not have to 'work' for a living. This includes Ben. It seems that Aaron has made his way into a group of guys that maybe don't really know the meaning of a hard days work. This also may explain the apprehension of both Daisy and Georgio and their questioning attitude (hey, I'm being nice here :P ) of Aaron and his intentions with Ben. I'm sure over the years that these 'privileged' boys have had their share of users who were only interested in their money.

 

Good to see that Aaron's attraction to Ben was in place before he knew of him and his group of friends wealth.

 

If anything, this chapter kind of makes all the BMAD guys look a bit better, or at least we now understand them a little more.

 

Thanks again.

 

Steve B)

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Thanks for the chapter. It's good to see how their lives are progressing. :)

 

One thing though...I don't see the point of the italics. I understand that they're meant to portray the thoughts of Aaron, but the story is already in first person. Because it's first person, we already know the thoughts of Aaron (since he's the narrator) so I don't see the need for additional thoughts in italics.

 

I think you did a better job of it in BMAD. There, the use of italics wasn't as common as it is in WAS. Instead, you blended more of Aaron's thoughts into his narration, which I find to be lacking here. When reading this chapter, especially the conversation between Cosmo and Aaron, the italicized thoughts between every piece of dialog threw me off a lot. It was like there's this third person in the conversation (Aaron's psyche). If that is your intention...Well, I really don't think it's working.

 

Anyways.

 

I wanna see Mick. I miss Mick. When's Mick coming back?

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