YaP Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 (edited) Hey out there ! Posting of Tiffs new series "The Price of Revelation" started ! I call it a "sort of sequel" because there are some characters from "Jumping Over my Mountain", but the story can really stand on its own. Read and comment, please! Summary: Sean, finally eighteen, is determined to live his own life and make his own decisions. Storm tries to protect Sean at any cost, and learns that no matter his efforts, he can't always shield Sean from the pains of growing up. Sean finds out the hard way that love is sometimes blind, sometimes life-threatening, sometimes unexpected, but sometimes - if you are lucky enough and keep your eyes open - true. Chapter 1 is up now. Read. Enjoy. Comment ;-) Edited December 10, 2009 by YaP
Drewbie Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 (edited) I like it Tiff keep up the good work. Sean does feel obvious that he doesn't fit in with the "new family" Rachel seems so far, that they don't really talk.. Edited February 9, 2009 by Drewbie
Mikie Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 Oooh... I like the idea of the story very muchly. Great start, Tiff, can't wait to see which direction you take this one in. Also can't wait for the new chapter. ~Mikie
Meeko Posted February 13, 2009 Posted February 13, 2009 Oooh... I like the idea of the story very muchly. Great start, Tiff, can't wait to see which direction you take this one in. Also can't wait for the new chapter. ~Mikie More more more!!! Good start to a very interesting and I know it will be a rollercoster ride, and I already bought my ticket. I'm good to go, hit me with it!
YaP Posted February 18, 2009 Author Posted February 18, 2009 ... and the story unfolds :-) Chapter 2 is up !
David McLeod Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Always a day late (and usually at least a dollar short), I just found this story, and devoured Chapter 1. Not only is it a good story, with some strong characters, it's also a lesson for any aspiring author on how to develop characters. The dialogue between Sean and his father, and between Sean and Kessler creates an image of Sean (physical appearance, personality, mental state) while avoiding lengthy narrative. I'm off to read Chapter 2!
Drewbie Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Tiff another great chapter Im really liking Kessler, and Rachael isn't bad like I thought she was going to to be.
Mikie Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 Great chapter, Tiff! I don't like Ethan at all... it seems like they're on the straight and narrow path to an abusive relationship... That's not good at all :-( Can't wait to see where you're taking this, Tiff. Loving it, as always :-) ~Mikie
Tiff Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 More more more!!! Good start to a very interesting and I know it will be a rollercoster ride, and I already bought my ticket. I'm good to go, hit me with it! Yes, you know it will be a rollercoaster ride, although I still don't think it's as creepy as you like to believe it is. But I'll take it. I do like being the author or creepy tales. LOL. Always a day late (and usually at least a dollar short), I just found this story, and devoured Chapter 1. Not only is it a good story, with some strong characters, it's also a lesson for any aspiring author on how to develop characters. The dialogue between Sean and his father, and between Sean and Kessler creates an image of Sean (physical appearance, personality, mental state) while avoiding lengthy narrative. I'm off to read Chapter 2! Hey, David! Thanks for reading and I didn't realize I had been creating an image of Sean using other means until you brought it up. Perhaps subconsciously I was trying to avoid huge narratives because I had done that in the past and feared boring readers to death. Nonetheless, glad you picked up on that and commented. Tiff another great chapter Im really liking Kessler, and Rachael isn't bad like I thought she was going to to be. Heya Drewbie! Aside from Sean and the old JOMM crew, Kessler is one of my favorite characters as well. Well, I kind of like everyone, but Kessler is a good friend to Sean. And no, Rachael really isn't the evil stepmother at all. LOL. Great chapter, Tiff! I don't like Ethan at all... it seems like they're on the straight and narrow path to an abusive relationship... That's not good at all :-( Can't wait to see where you're taking this, Tiff. Loving it, as always :-) ~Mikie Hiya Mikie! Glad you're enjoying this new story and thanks for commenting! I did start off rather fast with introducing Ethan and setting the path of their somewhat destructive relationship. I will warn that it will get worse pretty quickly and there might be some expected, as well as unexpected, turns. Either way, I hope you keep reading!
Drewbie Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 (edited) Chapter 3 is up Sean is being stupid, imo it was rape or at least not concerned.. and if Ethan really cared he would of stopped, poor keesler is confused Good to see Hiro and Crew Edited March 11, 2009 by Drewbie
David McLeod Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Tiff, Just read Chapter 3. The conversation at the dinner table raised my blood pressure so much, I think I'll skip coffee this morning. (Just kidding...about the coffee, that is, but not about the blood pressure.) This chapter is intense. It's a fine balance of sharply drawn characters and thoughtfully presented, engrossing subject matter. The passion in Chapter 2 has become...well, I don't want to give away a critical plot point, but what the passion became, you dealt with adroitly.
Mikie Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Way to be intense, Tiff... Yes... that was a very intense chapter... Can't wait to see where you're going to take this story, but it definitely looks promising, hon. Then again, I always love what you write :-) Seriously though... intense... ~Mikie
Tiff Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Chapter 3 is up Sean is being stupid, imo it was rape or at least not concerned.. and if Ethan really cared he would of stopped, poor keesler is confused Good to see Hiro and Crew Hey Drewbie! I do agree with you about Sean, but let's face it, young people (because I'm so old and wise, lol) or people of any age, don't see things clearly when they're sucked in by someone as manipulative as Ethan. Some are strong enough to see through the bullshit and others aren't. And in this particular chapter, I really liked Kessler's protective nature. I just love the whole close friendship aspect. Thanks for commenting! Tiff, Just read Chapter 3. The conversation at the dinner table raised my blood pressure so much, I think I'll skip coffee this morning. (Just kidding...about the coffee, that is, but not about the blood pressure.) This chapter is intense. It's a fine balance of sharply drawn characters and thoughtfully presented, engrossing subject matter. The passion in Chapter 2 has become...well, I don't want to give away a critical plot point, but what the passion became, you dealt with adroitly. Hi, David! It's funny, but whenever I write my stories or chapters, I never really consider them intense. It's just a normal plot progression, at least in my mind. And to some extent, it was probably an expected outcome. Although I do admit it was a bit rough writing the scene between Sean and Ethan and then rereading it while I was editing it, so I suppose it has it's intense moments. With the dinner table scene, I had to get into the suspicious parent mode to be Storm. That was fun for me to write for some reason. Thanks for commenting! Way to be intense, Tiff... Yes... that was a very intense chapter... Can't wait to see where you're going to take this story, but it definitely looks promising, hon. Then again, I always love what you write :-) Seriously though... intense... ~Mikie Hmmm, I'm guessing you thought this was a very intense chapter by the number of times you used "intense". But I do agree with you and David that it has it's "body tensing, sharp intake of breath" moments. And the fact that I got that sort of reaction from readers means I got the meaning and emotion across. Thanks for commenting! Then again, I always love what you write :-) Aww, you're just the sweetest!
YaP Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 2 more chapters to read :-) Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 are up now !
Drewbie Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Yea, I agree sharon, Ethan's going to do something. Im glad Zeke and Sean had that conversation, i don't know if he would of listened to Skyler. Looking forward to more So Edison and Kessler might be his next bf, or Sean might stay single.
David McLeod Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 The scroll-wheel on the mouse was smoking when I read the two latest chapters. The family scene at the beach was a nice, clean, happy, innocent contrast to the ominous theme of the story to this point. Once again, dialogue, including some very witty words ("I was hoping for a non-response," for example) was used very effectively. Dare we hope for a happy ending?
Meeko Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 Dare we hope for a happy ending? You do know who's story your reading right??? Just making sure...
Tiff Posted March 29, 2009 Posted March 29, 2009 You do know who's story your reading right??? Just making sure... Hey, not ALL my stories have bad endings that result in death and murder or rape or whatever. Sometimes there are happy endings! Jeesh, no faith in me.
Meeko Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Hey, not ALL my stories have bad endings that result in death and murder or rape or whatever. Sometimes there are happy endings! Jeesh, no faith in me. Do you blame you?
Tiff Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Do you blame you? What kind of question is that, weirdo? No, I do not blame myself!
Sir Galahad Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Ethan is totally unhinged, & by the references in the phone call with Sean, I reckon he's killed before. I agree that Zeke was the best one to have the conversation with Sean, especially from his experiences before. At least Sean listened to him & saw a little sense at long last. What Ethan's next move will be is anyone's guess, I just hope he doesn't go after little Sammy as payback to the family! Amazing chapters.
Benji Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 Ethan is totally unhinged, & by the references in the phone call with Sean, I reckon he's killed before. I agree that Zeke was the best one to have the conversation with Sean, especially from his experiences before. At least Sean listened to him & saw a little sense at long last. What Ethan's next move will be is anyone's guess, I just hope he doesn't go after little Sammy as payback to the family! Amazing chapters. ........Yes, there was something about Ethan I didn't like from the start, his last conversation confirmed it.
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