Coming out PART 2 (As a drag queen)

[JTRandall]

OK, heres the sitch.

 

I came out to my parents as gay at 15. They didnt get it and at 18 they kicked me out. After that we talked and now 7 years later, they have pretty much accepted it and I can even talk to them, not in detail, but at least mention that I am dating a guy or that I am in the Gay Mens Chorus or whatever.

 

About 6 months ago I started performing as a drag queen. No I dont want to be a woman, No I am not a transvestite. I look at it as another way to perform; Its acting and dancing. When I am in drag I am just wearing a costume and taking on a new persona.

 

I want to be able to tell my parents that I have a drag show, instead of making up something or just saying I am going out to the bar. They Live 2 and a half hours away so its not as if they could catch me, but for my peace of mind, I want to tell them.

 

We had dinner a few nights ago, and I have to say that it was the most at ease I have EVER been with them. We could joke, laugh, and just basically hang out. That's basically what brought this on. I want to be able to have that, while still being true to my open book policy, where: I am what I am, If you dont like it, tough.

 

I am curious to see what people have to say about this. I feel like I am coming out AGAIN. I mean, we all know that its hard enough the first time.

[hombre]

OK, heres the sitch.

 

I came out to my parents as gay at 15. They didnt get it and at 18 they kicked me out. After that we talked and now 7 years later, they have pretty much accepted it and I can even talk to them, not in detail, but at least mention that I am dating a guy or that I am in the Gay Mens Chorus or whatever.

 

About 6 months ago I started performing as a drag queen. No I dont want to be a woman, No I am not a transvestite. I look at it as another way to perform; Its acting and dancing. When I am in drag I am just wearing a costume and taking on a new persona.

 

I want to be able to tell my parents that I have a drag show, instead of making up something or just saying I am going out to the bar. They Live 2 and a half hours away so its not as if they could catch me, but for my peace of mind, I want to tell them.

 

We had dinner a few nights ago, and I have to say that it was the most at ease I have EVER been with them. We could joke, laugh, and just basically hang out. That's basically what brought this on. I want to be able to have that, while still being true to my open book policy, where: I am what I am, If you dont like it, tough.

 

I am curious to see what people have to say about this. I feel like I am coming out AGAIN. I mean, we all know that its hard enough the first time.

 

 

Personally I don't like the name "drag queen" - I prefer "female impersonator", and as long as the performer is still ALL male and the illusion looks convincing it is generally something I enjoy watching. Drag queens to me are those persons who have decided after years of being a female impersonator they go and get breast implants and start taking hormone and eventually have a complete sex change, and when in the process of doing all that they (in my book) are no longer a entertainer nor entertaining.

 

I would explain to your parents you are a "female impersonator, or illusionist" and if they show concern, about maybe you becoming a woman, explain it like you did here, you are just doing it as a extension of your performing, you will still be a male at the end of the day.

 

[old bob]

I dont have anything against "drag queens" or any other name you want to give them.

Everybody is free to feel how and what he wants.

I'm just happy for you to be proud to be who you are.

And congrats that your parents has accepted your way of life .

[Nephylim]

Why not invite them to a show? Hehe... no that would be cruel (is there STILL anyone out there who don't think I'm evil )

 

Well... telling your parents that you perform seems fairly safe. Why not tell them that you are in a stage production. You can tell them that you sing and dance and that you get good reviews. Break them in gently. Take it step by step. If they are happy to accept that you performing in a show then you can gradually work up to what you actually do in the show.

 

Good Luck

[Johnathan Colourfield]

"Drag" Shows are amazing to watch. I watched one a few years ago, Cher, Doris Day, Katrine Jenkins, he did them all and he was hilarious

 

He was a great guy as well, quite interesting to talk to

 

I hope you can get over your tension with your parents xx

 

 

[Benji]

................. I agree, tell them your in a stage show, assure them your not a transvestite, as they seem to be able to take shock in small doses.

[JamesSavik]

I could never do drag. My body would never ever be mistaken for female. The drag queens that most people object too are the guys that aren't shaped right to do it and just look scary.

 

For guys that are shaped right and are cute enough to pull it off, I say go 4 it.

 

Good luck with your family- just keep in mind that they don't need to know everything.

[Arpeggio]

I think I could do drag really well, but I wouldn't. It's just not my thing.

 

Good luck telling your parents

[jenni]

I would agree with what others have said about going very slowly when you tell your parents. Give them some time to warm up to each stage of the truth before they are confronted with all of it.

 

Maybe you could mention one of your friends who is in the show with you first. Don't tell them how you met. That way, you could explain about the show and what it means (i.e. that the friend is not a transvestite, that it's for entertainment only, etc) to your parents and they can begin to accept the concept before having an emotional response like they might if this is explained as something YOU are involved in. Also, it will give you a chance to gauge their reactions before you tell them truth.

Edited November 17, 2009 by jenni

[JTRandall]

Time for an update:

 

So I took everyone's advice and decided to basically go REALLY slow with what I tell them. Right now, they know that I do shows where I impersonate people... Havent gotten to the female part yet, but I will... Eventually.

 

Also, It probably doesnt help my case when I get into a big fight with them... Ooops. But theyll get over it hahahaha.

[writeincode]

Time for an update:

 

So I took everyone's advice and decided to basically go REALLY slow with what I tell them. Right now, they know that I do shows where I impersonate people... Havent gotten to the female part yet, but I will... Eventually.

 

That's probably good. That way they have the idea that it's an impersonation thing solidified already and hopefully they won't be so fast to jump to "you wanna be a woman?"