Same-Sex Parents

[MikeL]

A study to be published January 22 in the Journal of Marriage and Family reports that same-sex couples can be effective parents. A report in USA Today includes the following:

 

Children raised by same-sex couples appear to do as well as those raised by parents of both sexes, suggests an international research review that challenges the long-ingrained belief that children need male and female parents for healthy adjustment.

 

"It's more about the quality of the parenting than the gender of the parents," says Judith Stacey of New York University, co-author of the comprehensive review.

[wildone]

My two cents worth is that by just having two parents, they can assume different roles. It doesn't need to be a mother and a father.

 

I think a couple will adapt to what their children need. Not that I am trying to throw single parents under the bus but it must be hard for one person to assume all the roles that two parents could share.

 

Also I'm glad that even more proof from studies is coming out in favour of same sex parenting. Even though conservatives will dismiss it, it is always good to have more ammo for the debate .

Edited January 21, 2010 by wildone

[thatboyChase]

good article

[NightOwl88]

Nice article, I'll have to circulate it through the Yahoo groups I belong to.

[rknapp]

I read through five pages of comments on the article and found two things. First, I'm amazed that anyone still thinks gays are vile. Second, it warms my heart to see many more people countering the dimwits who insist I am incapable of raising a child. My mother is aware that I am gay, that she had nothing to do with, that it wasn't a choice, and that all the religious rhetoric is a farce, all on her own, and she still insists that I have children. She asked, "What if your partner wants kids?", to which I replied, "Then maybe." (I hate kids). She is religious and yet she has no misconception that two men or two women are incapable of raising children.

 

One of the comments on there I found to be quite hilarious. A man who is against the idea of gay marriage and gay parents and is sickened at the idea of two men or two women having sex quoted someone who defined homophobia. He said, "I have never met anyone who is afraid of gays," in a humorous way. I really wanted to quote him and say, "Look in the mirror."

 

Will I have kids some day? If my husband really wants kids, and we're in a stable situation to do it, then sure. He'll just have to be sure I don't put the screaming thing in the trunk when we go on vacations.

[Cia]

This is a bit off from the family dynamics in the article and there were issues other than the just being parents bit. But I was raised from the age of 2-9 by my dad and his twin brother. I had an sister just 18 months older than me that lived with us as well. No mom in sight. I wasn't messed up by that, or even realized that it was that abnormal. Why should it be any different because the 2 guys are in a physical relationship as well? It is a stereotype that seems to be rapidly fading nowadays, rightly, imo!

[TetRefine]

Its sad they have to conduct big elaborate studies on something that should already be common sense. Two guys or two girls can raise a kid just as good as a guy and a girl.

[KJames]

I read through five pages of comments on the article and found two things. First, I'm amazed that anyone still thinks gays are vile. Second, it warms my heart to see many more people countering the dimwits who insist I am incapable of raising a child. My mother is aware that I am gay, that she had nothing to do with, that it wasn't a choice, and that all the religious rhetoric is a farce, all on her own, and she still insists that I have children. She asked, "What if your partner wants kids?", to which I replied, "Then maybe." (I hate kids). She is religious and yet she has no misconception that two men or two women are incapable of raising children.

 

One of the comments on there I found to be quite hilarious. A man who is against the idea of gay marriage and gay parents and is sickened at the idea of two men or two women having sex quoted someone who defined homophobia. He said, "I have never met anyone who is afraid of gays," in a humorous way. I really wanted to quote him and say, "Look in the mirror."

 

Will I have kids some day? If my husband really wants kids, and we're in a stable situation to do it, then sure. He'll just have to be sure I don't put the screaming thing in the trunk when we go on vacations.

 

In the trunk? Really, Robbie...wouldn't it just be easier to design a noise cancellation system for the car attuned specifically to the pitch range of screams and cries of an infant or child?

~Thinking of Warner Bro's. cartoon with Foghorn Leghorn talking to Brainiac chick with oversized glasses and slide rule figuring calculus equations on paper~

[Graeme]

Its sad they have to conduct big elaborate studies on something that should already be common sense. Two guys or two girls can raise a kid just as good as a guy and a girl.

In their defence, it's not exactly common sense. It seems logical, at first glance, that a child would do well with both male and females in their life, because they will grow up to live in a world populated by males and females. Despite lots of attempts to prove otherwise, males and females are different and you can't apply a 'one size fits all' approach to dealing with the sexes.

 

Having said that, the mere fact that single parents can successfully raise children should make it obvious that two parents of the same sex can raise children at least as successfully as a single parent (presumably of a single sex).

 

The counter to that would be studies that show that children in single parent families are more likely to have problems and to be in trouble later in life. The response to that is to ask how much of those problems are due to having only one parent, rather than the fact that only a single sex is raising the child. Two parent families have a much better ability to produce income and to spend more time with their children than single parent families. How much does this simple fact make a difference to the family? You can argue that it could make a huge difference, but you can't prove it without studies. Without studies, it's not possible to quantify the difference (if any) between two same-sex parents and two different-sex parents.

[KJames]

In their defence, it's not exactly common sense. It seems logical, at first glance, that a child would do well with both male and females in their life, because they will grow up to live in a world populated by males and females. Despite lots of attempts to prove otherwise, males and females are different and you can't apply a 'one size fits all' approach to dealing with the sexes.

 

Having said that, the mere fact that single parents can successfully raise children should make it obvious that two parents of the same sex can raise children at least as successfully as a single parent (presumably of a single sex).

 

The counter to that would be studies that show that children in single parent families are more likely to have problems and to be in trouble later in life. The response to that is to ask how much of those problems are due to having only one parent, rather than the fact that only a single sex is raising the child. Two parent families have a much better ability to produce income and to spend more time with their children than single parent families. How much does this simple fact make a difference to the family? You can argue that it could make a huge difference, but you can't prove it without studies. Without studies, it's not possible to quantify the difference (if any) between two same-sex parents and two different-sex parents.

 

"...as successfully as a single parent (presumably of a single sex)"? I haven't heard of many true hermaphrodites mothering, or fathering, children...as they tend to keep their marriages and sexual situations quite secret. I'm not saying that to sound biased within our own homosexual community, but that is not a sexual flaw, it is genetic, and still causes major sexual identity problems for those are hermaphrodites.

 

BUT, I like the point of your argument, that two same-sex partners can raise and parent a child with time, effort, love, and respect.