6 Lies Everyone Knows About Writers

[Kavrik]

1) WE ARE SENSITIVE AND ROMANTIC. we're sensitive about our WORK, and romantically inclined toward our Fictional Love Interests, but we're too busy writing and plotting and agonizing over word counts to be sensitive to your needs and/or interested in your romantic pursuits. our notion of romance involves you cleaning the house, bathing the kids, and bringing us coffee. AND STOP TELLING US TO SHOWER IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY WE SMELL YOU CAN LEAVE.

 

2) WE ARE RUDE AND BROODING. no, we are hungry and frustrated. and if you're not providing us with the kind of dialogue we can use in our novel, we are not particularly interested in hearing it. so if you can't be useful enough to tell us what happens in the next chapter or why on earth this plot twist made more sense in our head? you should probably bring us something to eat, and make sure it has lots of chocolate in it.

 

3) WE ARE RICH. i'm sorry. you've obviously confused us with the cast of Jersey Shore.

 

4) WE ARE POOR. OUR FINANCES ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS hey are you going to finish that sandwich we already spent our last twenty dollars on books.

 

5) WE ARE DELUSIONAL. if you think hearing voices and talking to imaginary people and rarely leaving the house and dismissing most people as generally annoying to mean that we are DELUSIONAL, you are quite wrong. we are not delusional. we've just figured out where all the cool kids are hanging out. And they happen to be in our head.

 

6) WE'RE WRITING ABOUT YOU. don't flatter yourself. we're writing about you and your mom and our elementary school teacher and that kid in our sixth grade class and the guy we bumped into three weeks ago and the girl who refilled our strawberry lemonade at the restaurant we love and our best friend's little sister's friend because of that one thing she said the other day and even your cousin on Facebook who doesn't know we totally stole that line from her "status" for our teenage-dialogue-needs. it's not just you. WE ARE WRITING ABOUT EVERYONE.

[JamesSavik]

I might add that not all writers are raging alcoholics. Some of them are mellow alcoholics.

[Kavrik]

I might add that not all writers are raging alcoholics. Some of them are mellow alcoholics.

 

 

Well said sir!

[Nephylim]

Tee hee hee. I like the 5th one hee hee hee

[AleMaho]

I laughed so hard at the last two!! =))

[AnytaSunday]

Oh, I missed this one!

 

They all fit, actually, I know they're meant to be funny, but numbers 1, 2, and 5 constantly get me into trouble.

 

1) *hubs pulls on elbow, leers suggestively.

"Um...yeah, not right now, just got to finish writing this perfect kiss moment. Later, 'kay?"

 

Later:

 

"I just spent three hours finishing that damn chapter. I'm soooooo tired..."

 

(I'm thinking people will deduce exactly how that gets me into trouble (and the perfect punishment, lol))

 

2) Seriously. I'm my own worst bitch.

 

5) Yeah, 'cause it's true. Don't know how much longer I can done the line: "the real ones are in NZ."

 

 

hehe, thanks for the posting!!!