"Impaired Perceptions"- Disability and views

[W_L]

The CNN article caught my eye (for those who know me, I am blind in one eye and suffer from Congenital Glaucoma).

 

http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/25/health/brian-steel-impaired-perceptions/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

 

This line from the subject of the article, Brian Steel, really highlights what disabled people feel:
 

 

 

The overall message is that you cannot tell what a person is capable of
or what their life is like simply by looking at them. That is true
regardless of ability, race, religion or orientation.

 

The irony is I am partially blind, but I can understand how perception is formed and how people's views can shape your reality.

 

Growing up, I was in special ed classes for several years with teachers bending backwards to keep us all busy and working. Some normal kids would approach us, they would tease our class for their disabilities and speak in slower tones as if we were all mentally handicapped. I hated the treatment.

 

Eventually in middle school, I studied independently outside of class and asked to be placed in higher level classes. I got in and was placed in classes with advanced placement kids. The teachers were nice for the most part, but I could still see snickers after I had to walk into a classroom with a cane after an eye surgery, because I had to put an eye patch over the only eye I have vision in.

 

I pushed even harder and got into a magnet high school in 7th grade and I hold a bachelors degree and Masters degree now.

 

Through all that, I was also gay. I guess in retrospect, in my pursuit to silence the perceptions, it wasn't hope that kept me going, but a need to prove myself and my being without a label.

 

Don't know how many members of GA are disabled to that extent, but wanted to share some personal reflections.

[Johnathan Colourfield]

Thought i would add my two cents into this

 

For those who don't know me,  I'm a sufferer from Developmental Dyspraxia and Sensory Processing Disorder. I have suffered with mild depression in the past.

 

This basically means that i dont have very good motor skills and i can't be exposed to loud noises or bright lights together (or like having two senses majorly sparked) or i internally freak.

 

I didn't really have that much of a problem with bullying until i got to Year 7. From Year R-6, i had a teaching assistant and i would have to do coordination lessons every day - to develop my balance, my communication and my writing skills. 

 

When i got to Year 7, i was singled out as the weird kid - the kid that is 'slow'. Surely, I am slow. I admit it. I take approximately 2 seconds longer than the average person to think through a phrase. I was bullied mentally for about four years. I wasn't ever physically bullied, thank goodness.

 

In Year 8, i got into theatre. This was my saving grace. It gave me hope in my own abilities. One of the classes i took was Modern Street Dance. Now, i was not the most confident dancer in the world - but this class drove me to work beyond the mental restrictions I had. I gained teaching awards in Dance - something I am immensely proud of. I've had choreography in county shows. I've danced on the 02 Stage in London. I've done all the things the doctors told me I would never be able to do.

 

So where now? I can't ride a bike, I can't tie shoelaces, I have a panic attack if something goes wrong. I worry far too much.

 

But, i live by the phrase 'shit happens for a reason' - i've had all this crap cast on me - it's high time i got my own back

 

Now, both of my disorders are internal. People can't see that there is something 'wrong' with me I like it that way I tell people as soon as i become friends with them, so they know that i'm not doing things wrong - or i'm not trying to insult them - i'm just being me

[joann414]

And I like the "you being me".    What wonderful accomplishments for you.  dancers are a wonderful talent in so many ways. Hugs guy.

[C J]

This is one of the best posts I've seen.   I don't get to see anything of people on here except what they say.   I don't have the sort of challenges I just read about, but reading them reminded me that I don't often consider that there are important differences between myself and others that I'm not, and may never, be aware of.   Those differences are always important, because peoples circumstances have some effect on their lives and how they relate to the rest of the world.

 

   If I keep that in mind then I can understand things that I wouldn't otherwise.   It's good to be reminded of that, because it helps me to be more thoughtful about the things that sometimes bewilder me in other people.   It also reminds me of two famous people with problems they fought to overcome, Helen Keller and Stephen Hawking.

 

   I think the big idea, at least for me, is that everyone, regardless of who they are or what I think of them, has as much potential as I do, if not more, and deserves the same consideration, or thoughtfullness, that I think I deserve.   I think it's something that's lacking in the world, so I had to say something about it.   Thanks for a very meaningful post.  

[Arpeggio]

I have cerebral palsy, but I was never in any special classes or anything. In kickball, the teachers made the kids stand still when I kicked the ball, and I always got a home run. Nothing makes you feel stupid than crap like that. Now, the only hint of something wrong is the way I walk; heel toe on my left foot. Basically a limp. A lot of people associate it with mental retardation, and look at me funny when I say it, so I usually don't mention it at all cause I'm too lazy to explain.  

 

Is laziness a handicap? 

[SilverNitro]

As a deaf guy, I'm pretty much so used to it that quite often i don't even feel like I'm disabled. Most of the time, I don't really have any issues, especially with phones today. I can pretty much text anyone, and if i need to order anything from a fast food place, i can just type out what I want on a notepad on my phone, then show what i typed out to the person. However, I've met a few people who are pretty much ignorant or intolerant or just plain impatient. quite often, Id say 90% of the time, i wont catch all of what you may say to me, and Ill ask to repeat until i can piece together enough to understand whatever someone is telling me. It annoys me whenever a person would roll their eyes when asked to speak again, or speak EXTRA SLOWLY like a retard (seriously, you should try watching people's face when they try to speak to me like they're speaking to a 1 year old child.). All I ask is patience and speak clearly and normally. if nothing work, the old pen and paper (or notepad on phone) will always be on hand for me.

 

I never really have had any issues, however when I finished school, and started a full time job, I realized I should try to find a way to improve my hearing. My natural hearing, assisted with hearing aids can only go so far (68+ Db, i can hear with hearing aids, 95+ without, I have "profound hearing loss"). I decided to get a cochlear implant, and overhaul my brain on how to perceive sound. It is working out well for me so far 7 months after surgery (feel free to ask me if you'd like to find more details!), however, among the more traditional deaf people, and people who are proud to be deaf, receiving an implant would be an insult to the deaf culture (kinda in a way like I'm working on trying to turn myself straight, similar concept). so it sometimes make me feel kinda detached to deaf culture, while still kinda detached to the normal culture, since I'm still considered deaf, and now, me being freshly out of the closet, freshly detached from the "straight" culture, and still trying to work my way into the gay culture. i often feel like I'm stuck in a crossroad in the middle of nowhere, trying to decide whether to go north, south, east, west, northwest, southeast? definitely lots of changes for me to work out right now.

 

I never really have had any bullying issues in the past in school. its probably because if its behind my back, i just simply don't hear about it, or if someone tease me, i just take it as a joke and tease them in return. i guess it helps that I'm not easily offended at all I figured here's a good place to share a little bit of my story.

 

If there's any question or anything you're curious about, feel free to ask me! I'm usually in the chatroom too as well.

 

Cheers!

Edited January 28, 2013 by SilverNitro

[Nephylim]

I used to be very fit, slim and super sexy (well, two out of three ) Breaking my back completely wrecked my health and severely limited by mobility causing me to pile on weight which I can't exercise to lose (i can't even swim because i have severe psoriasis and an allergy to chlorine) 

 

It used to get me down, especially during a period when I had to use a wheelchair and wasn't sure I'd ever be able to cope without it. The way people treated me was horrible. I suddenly wasn't a person anymore, i was a problem. I blocked aisles, held people up, needed more space etc etc. The worst thing of all was that my then husband resented the fact he had to push me in the chair and was embarrassed by it

 

Now, i don't have to use a chair, although I need a stick if i'm walking more than a few feet, but i still get all the shit about moving slowly, especially up stairs. I have arthritis in my joints and especially in cold weather I have difficulties with stiffness and severe pain. I (like to think) I look quite young for my age and I get glares and comments when I sit in disabled seats on buses, because I need the extra legroom, or park in disabled spaces.

 

Eventually I got to a point where I thought - screw this and screw you. That's when I started dying my hair bright colours and surrendering to the dark side. Generally speaking, no one gives me shit now, at least not to my face

[Billy Martin]

   I think the big idea, at least for me, is that everyone, regardless of who they are or what I think of them, has as much potential as I do, if not more, and deserves the same consideration, or thoughtfullness, that I think I deserve.   I think it's something that's lacking in the world, so I had to say something about it.   Thanks for a very meaningful post.  

 

I couldn't agree more!

[W_L]

Well at least I am not the only disabled gay guy on this site and everyone has their own unique takes.

 

John, you are a great guy. Besides, the turtles win the race (even though I was born in the year of the hare )

 

Lacey, I really want to just hug you tight and never let go,

 

Partial blindness is kind of weird, I am not completely blind, but I am not able to use my sight either. I hate having to go through life being here and half there, so I kind of understand SilverNitro's point.

 

Nephy, the shadows cannot consume what is bright, they cannot presume over what is right You will find a light eventually to shine through the abyss.

 

The surgeries were the worst for me, because for a brief period of time I have to wear eye patches and use my cane. Imagine going into class like that. The teachers were amenable. They closed the blinds and turned off most of the lights in the room to allow my eye to be used (one of the side effects of Glaucoma is the formation of Cataracts, which need to be removed), but the kids didn't understand why I could not have intense light. I hated being the one singled out for that stuff. It takes weeks for my cornea to heal and besides how difficult life was, the kids made it worse.

[Johnathan Colourfield]

Oh and i forgot to say I have sight problems too! lol  I totally understand being the kid with the patches W_L I was that for like 3 years - before they corrected the angle of my eyes lol