ISO Editor for a short story

[Former Member]

This is a short story told from the perspective of a teen suicide victim.

 

I will be greatfull to anyone who will be willing to help me. The following is a couple of paragraphs that I roughly typed...

 

“We are gathered here today in the presence of God and of these witnesses to celebrate the life of Hunter Thomas Bowman” the Preacher said. A man whom I’ve never met was talking about celebrating my life. ‘My life?’ I thought to myself.

 

“A beloved son, brother, and friend who was taken from us far too soon and far too suddenly, as God has called on him for a greater good” he continued. “Hunter leaves behind a world of strife and conflict for one of peace.  I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry...“Pslam 40:1-2” he said.

 

I looked to my left to see my Mother and Father embracing each other. My older brother sitting stoically with tears streaking from his swollen eyes. I turned my attention to Gavin, my best friend, sitting in the row behind my family. He too was weeping and looked like he hadn’t slept days.

My heart ached for them. I wanted to simply reach out and hold them but every time I tried it seemed like they were outside of my reach.

Edited June 3, 2014 by Ryan Jacobs

[LJH]

Hang in there. I am sure one of our new eds will step up.

[Kev de Cauchery]

Yep. I'll take this one. If it's not urgent, gimme two days to finish up with another project first. ill pm you.

[Kev de Cauchery]

Though I'll suggest you find another pair of eyes, especially for fine editing.