ISO Editor/Beta for Fall anthology story - one time

[Valkyrie]

I've finished my fall antho story and am looking for someone to do light editing (typos, missed words, etc.) and beta read for me.  It's a little over 5k words.  The subject matter is very dark with graphic descriptions of abuse/neglect.  I use MS Word.  Please let me know if you need any further information.  Here is a snippet:

 

 

 

 

I started retching as soon as I approached the dilapidated house.  I wondered why we were even here.  With a stench this bad, the police should have called the coroner, not paramedics. 

 

Kevin grimaced and handed me a bottle of Vicks VapoRub.  I was glad I hadn’t eaten lunch yet.  A policeman ran out of the house and threw up on the lawn.  A fireman followed and shook his head.  “You boys better get suited up before coming in here.  It’s pretty bad.”

 

‘Pretty bad’ didn’t even come close. 

 

The mailman had called the police after noticing an increase in the pervasive smell that surrounded the place around the same time that the mail started accumulating.  The occupant was a known hoarder with a belligerent past with local authorities. 

 

Kevin and I donned white protective suits along with air masks and the VapoRub. 

 

“Over here, boys!”  The fire chief motioned us toward the back of the house.  We carefully negotiated our way along a two foot high pathway of garbage, following a narrow trail through mountains of magazines, newspapers, boxes, clothing, trash, and other unrecognizable items.  There were bugs everywhere and the odor was nauseating.  It’s a good thing I’m not claustrophobic, I thought.  The stench increased the closer we got to the back of the house. 

 

“There he is.  The coroner is on his way.”

 

The hoarder’s bloated body was reclined in a nest of pillows on a grimy mattress, nestled among a mountain of clothes and garbage.  It was clear that he had passed a while ago, although just how long was hard to tell due to the heat.

 

“Hey!  We got another one here!”

 

Kevin and I turned around and followed the fireman’s voice to the other side of the house.  Between the bugs, garbage, and stench of the hoarder’s body, I thought I’d seen the worst of this house of horrors.   I was wrong.

[Ron]

Ooh, I'd love to help! I can do the type of light editing you mention, as well.

Edited June 19, 2014 by Ron

[Valkyrie]

Thanks   I'll PM you. 

[joann414]

I'm in for the beta if you like.

[Valkyrie]

Thanks, Joann

[Cole Matthews]

Damn! I missed out! Remember me next time Valkyire. I owe you one.

[Valkyrie]

Thanks, Cole   Will do