Iso: Editor/beta - Romance - ~37K

[Hudson Bartholomew]

I'm looking for a beta reader and/or editor for a contemporary romance.

 

The story is complete and ready for editing, so finding someone to read it over for me as soon as possible would be ideal. I can send it in Microsoft Word files, either in chunks or in its entirety. 

 

I've worked with editors in other contexts (i.e. non-fiction writing), so I know what to expect from an editor/writer relationship. Some of my fiction has been posted on another website to quite positive feedback, but I've never had anyone with editing experience take a critical look at my work. So I'd like to get an honest opinion and see if my writing up to snuff.

 

I'd like help with copy editing, flagging common writing mistakes, as well as general feedback on the story and characters (like pacing, etc.). 

 

Below is a snippet. Please let me know if you'd like to work with me!

 

***

 

“Hey Ryan,” Amanda shouted as she brushed past him. “You’ve got another admirer.” She nodded toward the end of the bar.

 

Ryan gave her a crooked smile, “You know I’ve only got eyes for you, honey.”

 

Amanda rolled her eyes and grabbed a couple of beers out of the ice.

 

Ryan turned back to the drinks he was making, and ignored whoever the admirer was at the end of the bar. There tended to be at least one person every few days, but Ryan was never interested, so he never paid them any real attention. 

 

Amanda and the other bar staff had bugged him about it numerous times. Whenever they brought it up, he’d just shrug it off with a smile. For a while, they were making up stories for why Ryan never hooked up with a customer or never talked about seeing anyone.

 

They started innocently enough—Ryan was gay and the admirers were all girls; Ryan grinned and shrugged. Then he got some male admirers and he still didn’t react—so maybe he wasn’t gay, but just picky; Ryan grinned and shrugged. For a while they were convinced Ryan was the submissive in some kinky master and slave relationship; Ryan grinned and shrugged.

 

They finally decided that Ryan was non-sexual; Ryan grinned and shrugged but figured they weren’t far from the truth. It wasn’t that he was non-sexual, he just never met anyone that peaked his interest. And he was getting off enough with his porn job that his physical needs were being taken care of just fine.

 

Ryan was a loner, and he was content to stay that way. 

 

Ryan forgot about his admirer as the evening went on. It was Friday and the bar was packed with people wanting to have a good time. His tip jar was seeing a good amount of action. It wasn’t until he made his way to the end of the bar in search for his next order did he remember that someone had been admiring him.

 

The guy had very dark hair and very light eyes—it was impossible to tell what colors exactly with the lighting. And he was staring at Ryan unabashedly from his perch on the barstool.

 

One glance and Ryan knew that he knew. It wasn’t the first time a customer had recognized Ryan from one of his porn videos. He’d respond the way he responded to everything—a grin and a shrug. But this guy wasn’t just staring at Ryan, he was examining Ryan; the only other time Ryan had been examined that way was during auditions.

 

Then it dawned on Ryan; the guy didn’t just know, he was in the industry. A second glance confirmed it.

 

He had broad shoulders and tightly defined muscles under the snug fitting t-shirt. The lips were full, slightly pouty. Wisps of a tattoo peeked out from under his sleeve, snaking across his left arm.

 

Eight inches, thick, was Ryan’s guess. He was definitely part of the industry.

 

“Need a refill?” Ryan asked as he gestured to the nearly empty pint glass in front of the stranger.

 

“Sure,” came the answer—no hesitation, not even a glance down at his glass.

 

Ryan gave him a crooked smile and took the empty glass.

 

When he returned, the stranger said the last thing Ryan expected him to.

 

“I’ve never seen you smile like that.”

 

Ryan paused, his smile coming a moment too late and lacking its usual confidence. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“And I’m sure you do.” 

 

[rec]

I'd be  happy to take a crack at it.  I edit for a  number of authors--Graeme and Cole Parker, for two.

 

If you are interested, I'm attaching a file with my email address.  Word files are just fine.