I'm getting real sick of this...

[rknapp]

O.k., I have two problems. Both deal with girls, and neither I want to be in a situation with.

 

The first girl has recently been making it blatantly obvious that she wants to date me. She's gone as far as to say things like "You're oblivious, aren't you?" as if she thinks I want to date her too, and "Why don't you like girls?" as if she thinks I would ordinarily be all over her. It's not that I don't want to date her, it's that I don't want to deal with her shit on a daily basis. She uses me as emotional crutch when things in her life go bad, which is never something that should be an element in a relationship.

 

The second girl wants to f**k me. Tonight got REAL bad. She straddled me in a chair in the lounge when we were chilling with friends, and the only way I could get her off of me was to grab her ass and freak her out. Then, she and another friend came down to my floor, and this other "friend" says "there are sheets in that room (standing inside my doorway) that need to get dirty, so I'm locking you two in here," and she leaves. The girl who wants to f**k me had a plastic bat with her (I'd kicked her in the ass when she tried to sit down, jokingly, so she ran to get the bat to hit me with). Well, she'd been hitting me with the bat periodically throughout the night, so I grabbed it to keep her from hitting me with it, and then she wrestles me. Half my f**king floor saw the wrestling, including the bi guy down the hall who had left his room to use the bathroom (right across from my room). Compromising positions came about, and I wouldn't be suprised if they all think I'm using my roommates empty bed to f**k her. Well, she left when I gave her the bat back. Then, the other friend from before called me and told me to "get a toothbrush and a condom and come upstairs" and hangs up. She's called two more times and I answered neither time. The last call was a half hour ago, so I'm hoping they gave up.

 

Heres a question for you... well two.

 

How do I let the first girl down gently (I still love her as a friend), and how do I get the second to f**k her boyfriend instead of me (yes, she has a boyfriend to boot!)?

 

 

 

 

 

f**k! The other friend just tried to call me again! WHAT THE CRAP!! I AM NOT SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED!! WHY ME??!!

[dkstories]

Dude, you know...like putting all the stereotypical answers aside...pick a third girl, kiss her in front of them both, sit back and watch the fireworks. (or if you really want to be brave...use the bi guy down the hall for that).

 

Sheesh, sounds almost as bad as August (girl who chased me in the 10th grade and even went so far as to claim I'd gotten her pregnant when I'd never even had sex with her, just to get me in the sack with her.).

[ex52tech]

The first girl says your oblivious, I think she means that you are just not getting it, she has done everything she can to get you to date her, but you still won't ask her out. Maybe tell her the truith, you guys talk about too much personal stuff already, dating her would break down that saftey barrier. Tell her she is too much like a sister to you to get intiment.

 

Maybe tell the second girl, "after you f#%k me are you going to throw me on the scrap heap with all the others", or ask her if she is going to tell her boyfriend that you two got together so she can get off watching him beat the s#%t out of you. Try to make her feel like shes whoring on you too much and its turning you off.

 

Tell her friend that keeps playing matchmaker to go rub herself on a gearshift knob to get off instead of pushing her friend at you like a piece of meat in a butcher shop.

[shadows]

I think 52tech has the right idea for the first girl. You don't want to damage your already existing "friendship."

 

The second girl... well, it would be fun to have some amusement with her. Say yes to sex on the condition that there's a threesome with her boyfriend? And by threesome, you mean she can watch while you and her boyfriend have fun. I don't know if you're out, but this is still a good answer, because it's so proposterous it doesn't matter what your sexuality is.

 

 

As to your "why me?" the answer is because you're remote, you're distant. Some girls are attracted to the "hard to catch."

[ex52tech]

I think 52tech has the right idea for the first girl. You don't want to damage your already existing "friendship."

 

The second girl... well, it would be fun to have some amusement with her. Say yes to sex on the condition that there's a threesome with her boyfriend? And by threesome, you mean she can watch while you and her boyfriend have fun. I don't know if you're out, but this is still a good answer, because it's so proposterous it doesn't matter what your sexuality is.

As to your "why me?" the answer is because you're remote, you're distant. Some girls are attracted to the "hard to catch."

Yea tell her your an ass man, and her boyfriend has a nicer ass.

[Xandra Kitee]

How do I let the first girl down gently (I still love her as a friend), and how do I get the second to f**k her boyfriend instead of me (yes, she has a boyfriend to boot!)?

f**k! The other friend just tried to call me again! WHAT THE CRAP!! I AM NOT SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED!! WHY ME??!!

Dude, where are you living ? The nymphomaniac ward of a mental institution ?

 

Now there's not a lot of answer to your question. Just say the truth even if partially. You're not interested, period. Be blunt if you have to, girls are not made of crystal. But dumb they can be as much as boys so just be clear.

 

For the first one, if she's really a friend you should clearly tell her what's the problem. I mean, that's what friends are for, no ? To tell you what mere acquaintances won't dare or bother to say. If she can't take it, at least you'll know where you stand in this "friendship".

 

As for the second, I don't really understand why you're accepting so much. From what I've read (and only from that), you don't seem to resist that much either. There's no way I'd let somebody harass me that way and certainly not to the point where "friends" would think of locking me up in a bedroom.

 

Maybe I'm dead wrong but right now I think it happens to you because you let it happen somehow.

[MayaMys]

O.k., I have two problems. Both deal with girls, and neither I want to be in a situation with.

 

The first girl has recently been making it blatantly obvious that she wants to date me. She's gone as far as to say things like "You're oblivious, aren't you?" as if she thinks I want to date her too, and "Why don't you like girls?" as if she thinks I would ordinarily be all over her. It's not that I don't want to date her, it's that I don't want to deal with her shit on a daily basis. She uses me as emotional crutch when things in her life go bad, which is never something that should be an element in a relationship.

 

The second girl wants to f**k me. Tonight got REAL bad. She straddled me in a chair in the lounge when we were chilling with friends, and the only way I could get her off of me was to grab her ass and freak her out. Then, she and another friend came down to my floor, and this other "friend" says "there are sheets in that room (standing inside my doorway) that need to get dirty, so I'm locking you two in here," and she leaves. The girl who wants to f**k me had a plastic bat with her (I'd kicked her in the ass when she tried to sit down, jokingly, so she ran to get the bat to hit me with). Well, she'd been hitting me with the bat periodically throughout the night, so I grabbed it to keep her from hitting me with it, and then she wrestles me. Half my f**king floor saw the wrestling, including the bi guy down the hall who had left his room to use the bathroom (right across from my room). Compromising positions came about, and I wouldn't be suprised if they all think I'm using my roommates empty bed to f**k her. Well, she left when I gave her the bat back. Then, the other friend from before called me and told me to "get a toothbrush and a condom and come upstairs" and hangs up. She's called two more times and I answered neither time. The last call was a half hour ago, so I'm hoping they gave up.

 

 

The second girl and her friends are bitches. Don't feel bad about being rude, because that's exactly what they need...even though with the way that girl acts, it seems more like she's joking...still, she needs to get serious. She'll stop harassing you like that once you get the point across that no you won't sleep with her, and no you don't think she's being cute. Hell, embarass her or make her feel ashamed of how she's acting if you have to.

 

As to your friend, make it clear you're not attracted to her. It'll definetly dumpen your friendship a bit, but if you feel like it's strong, the awkwardness will dissappear. She won't keep on pursuing you if she knows you're not into her...and if she does, continuously tell her to knock it off. She'll get over it eventually.

[rknapp]

I made it clear to the first friend that I am not interesting in sexual relationship right now (and that's the truth) last night when we went out to dinner (she paid, so it wasn't a date). As for the other half of the truth, she's homophobic, and I value our friendship too much to ruin it that way.

 

The second, here's a update. The girl who kept trying to hook us up (we'll call her Lauren) walks with me and a guy friend (call him Kevin for now) to a class we share every Friday. On the way, she says to me, "What's the story between you and Jan (name changed for her sake)?" I tell her that there IS NO story between us. She just doesn't seem to understand. The four of us, plus two others, had been making many remarks with sexual innuendo, as a bit of fun between friends, and a couple smacks on the ass here or there for laughs. Well, that's stopping. I'm also not going to be sitting with Jan on a couch, and will be forceful with "Jan" and "Lauren" so they get the big picture here. No coming out will be involved, mostly because the two guys I'm friends with will be living in an apartment with me next year if I stay at this school, so I don't want there to be tension. No point for it if I'm neither sexually active nor a sexual being, right?

[Howie]

I made it clear to the first friend that I am not interesting in sexual relationship right now (and that's the truth) last night when we went out to dinner (she paid, so it wasn't a date). As for the other half of the truth, she's homophobic, and I value our friendship too much to ruin it that way.

 

The second, here's a update. The girl who kept trying to hook us up (we'll call her Lauren) walks with me and a guy friend (call him Kevin for now) to a class we share every Friday. On the way, she says to me, "What's the story between you and Jan (name changed for her sake)?" I tell her that there IS NO story between us. She just doesn't seem to understand. The four of us, plus two others, had been making many remarks with sexual innuendo, as a bit of fun between friends, and a couple smacks on the ass here or there for laughs. Well, that's stopping. I'm also not going to be sitting with Jan on a couch, and will be forceful with "Jan" and "Lauren" so they get the big picture here. No coming out will be involved, mostly because the two guys I'm friends with will be living in an apartment with me next year if I stay at this school, so I don't want there to be tension. No point for it if I'm neither sexually active nor a sexual being, right?

 

poor rknapp, that doesn't sound happy

 

i hope you get out of this situation soon. are you out to anybody irl?

 

howie

[rknapp]

Howie: One person, but only because I dled porn from him and he messaged me about it. We don't really talk.

[Howie]

Howie: One person, but only because I dled porn from him and he messaged me about it. We don't really talk.

 

 

i think i'd be quite lonely, if i were you. i wonder how long you'll be happy with the situation. do you know any other glb people irl?

 

howie

[AFriendlyFace]

No coming out will be involved, mostly because the two guys I'm friends with will be living in an apartment with me next year if I stay at this school, so I don't want there to be tension. No point for it if I'm neither sexually active nor a sexual being, right?

EVERYONE is a sexual being, RK. It's fine if you're not sexually active, but don't make yourself into a symbolic eunuch. I think you should go along at your own pace, and not do anything until you're ready, just try not to deny your feelings or think of yourself as someone who would "never have sex" (even with someone you were in love with). Take care and have a great day

 

Kevin

[rknapp]

EVERYONE is a sexual being, RK. It's fine if you're not sexually active, but don't make yourself into a symbolic eunuch. I think you should go along at your own pace, and not do anything until you're ready, just try not to deny your feelings or think of yourself as someone who would "never have sex" (even with someone you were in love with). Take care and have a great day

 

Kevin

 

When I said that, I meant that I'm not the type of person to have sex for no reason. True, I've never had sex, but that's because I believe sex should be somewhat meaningful, meaning when I have it, it's with someone who I know for a fact won't think less of me, and in a sense loves me back. I suppose hopeless old fashioned git is a better term LOL. I'm the polar opposite of the average college student: No sex, no booze, no smokes. Ever. Helps to avoid drama and trouble. The booze will come in two years, and the sex will come if I find the right person to share it with... and if is a big word.

 

Anyways. "Jan"'s boyfriend came down on Sunday, and nailed her four times. So she's sated for the time being.

 

To answer Howies' question: Yes and no. The guy I mentioned earlier is bi, but I've been avoiding him because he was only interested in getting me in the sack. Yeah, wasn't gonna happen. Then there is one guy on my floor who is bi, but we haven't even acknowledged eachother. He mostly sits in his room, or he is with his friends from outside the building. He doesn't even talk to his redneck roommate (with good reason, obviously). There is also one gay guy whom I am acquaintences with. He's probably only 17 right now though, Sergio from my high school. Never really talked to him outside of GSA (as far as I know, he had a boyfriend when I was still in high school).

[AFriendlyFace]

When I said that, I meant that I'm not the type of person to have sex for no reason. True, I've never had sex, but that's because I believe sex should be somewhat meaningful, meaning when I have it, it's with someone who I know for a fact won't think less of me, and in a sense loves me back. I suppose hopeless old fashioned git is a better term LOL. I'm the polar opposite of the average college student: No sex, no booze, no smokes. Ever. Helps to avoid drama and trouble.

Good for you!