It Feels like Monday

[DarkShadow]

You are definately going to be another one of my 'must read's. I just finished all five chapters. I love the way you write and evoke their emotion so vividly, with action instead of a 'I was sad.'

 

I know others may want more character development, but honestly, I like the pace at which I'm getting to know the characters. Too much information too fast usually just blurs the mind. (well mine anyway)

 

Now, again, I'm stuck with not having another chapter to read! I'm sure it will be worth the wait. I'm patient... SO HURRY UP! j/k

 

I do think this is a great story and can't wait to see where it goes.

 

The only questions I had at the end of any of these chapters, was 1. What's his younger brother up to, and 2. Was it a pan she blasted him upside the head with or something more fun! Say for instance... the car. (of course I know it's not the second... but I REALLY hated the father at the end.) Did jaime perhaps get burned from whatever was in the pan?

 

Thanks for the fabulous read!

 

Take care!

[Tom]

 

I really have to thank everyone that has read it so far, and even more importantly, left all the reviews and comments.

 

Kevin, if ya go back and read about John's dad in chapter 1, then let your mind run wild, you might figure out how bad John got hurt

 

As far as what happened down stairs with Mom, Dad and Jamie....I so want to tell, but I already said 'no spoilers', so I have been really trying to get chapter 6 out. I think I am somewhere between half way and 3\4th done with it now...I just hope I can keep my mouth shut till it's done

 

Hugs to all,

Tom

[Max03]

What's happening? It is kinda quiet here ...

 

Where's Tom and when will the next chapter be published?

 

Greets

 

Max

[JustynC]

Chapter 6 ? Where is Chapter 6? Somebody did say Chapter 6 right? I cant find Chapter 6. Ahh thats cause you're still working on it aye? lol I love the story dude cant wait for CHapter 6 heh heh

[Tom]

Hi guys,

 

you all remeber what school is right? Well, My editor, Kurt, he's still in it.

 

Now as much as I want to post chapter 6, Kurt has to finish editing it first and School takes priority in my book.

 

So all I can say is that we all have to be patient. If Kurt feels he can't get it to me soon, he'll tell me, then I'll see what I can do

BTW...I think you guys are gonna love chapter 7

 

 

Kurt just got chapter 6 back to me just now...so concider it posted

 

Edited October 22, 2006 by Tom(lostone)

[Kurt]

Well, first I want to say that I like where this story is going...

 

Sorry that it took me so long to get Cahpter 6 edited... I have been busy, I am starting to get caught up with things, so hopefully a delay like this will not happen again.

 

Happy reading,

Kurt

[knotme]

I just read all six chapters to date in one go, then let them sit and perk for a while. My first reaction: nice story line! John's family--especially his father--was a powder keg waiting for a light. The story starts just before the explosion, and we get front row center seats for both the explosion and a developing love interest. Nice!

 

About the forum discussion on holes in the characterizations, I would say that the plot line has gotten ahead of the motivations--motivations consisting mainly of character development and background information. This is not necessarily bad. The author might want to seize a break in the action as an opportunity to backfill some motivation; or he might choose to leave us hanging. I guess it depends where he wants the center to be: on the family crisis, or on the developing love interest.

 

Like other posters, I was puzzled by the actions in the kitchen. Why did the mother hit the father repeatedly? (Fury? Demonstrating her authority?) Why didn't the father hit back? (Chivalry? Guilt? Subservience? Too stunned to respond, NOT.) Why did the daughter hit the mother hard enough to get arrested? (Desperation? Is she growing up to be a batterer, too?)

 

It might help the author to know how one reader has filled in the holes in motivation. I am guessing, but so what. From Chapter 3,

I still remember the first time he did that to me. I was ten years old. He was watching T.V. and I walked up to ask him a question about my history homework. He didn

[Tom]

HI Guys

 

Ummm....you might want to check my blog

 

Tom

[Max03]

This chapter is a strange chapter It is enlarging my questions instead of giving answers and I LIKE IT

 

I like the story very much and I still like the brother love...

 

I completely understand the mothers reactions, it is in a mother to protect her children whatever it costs. I think if you try to steal a young lion from his mother, the mother would do much worser things then john's mother has done...

 

 

Good work Tom and Kurt

and Tom take all the time you need ... (I'll be waiting right here for you and the next chapter...)

 

Yours

 

Max

Edited October 28, 2006 by Max03

[Tom]

Hi guys,

 

Sorry it's been so long since I posted

 

I really meant to get chapter 7 up a few days ago, but my Grandmother's funeral was Saturday, and I couldn't get the final draft cleaned up till a few minutes ago.

 

anyway, you can find chapter 7 here

 

Enjoy

 

Hugs,

Tom

[Tom]

Hi guys,

 

Sorry it's been so long since I posted

 

I really meant to get chapter 7 up a few days ago, but my Grandmother's funeral was Saturday, and I couldn't get the final draft cleaned up till a few minutes ago.

 

anyway, you can find chapter 7 here

 

Enjoy

 

Hugs,

Tom

[Max03]

I have been right here waiting for you...

 

Okay I did a few other things too but I read your latest chapter.

 

I think it is a very good chapter and I have a feeling that Jeff has feelings for John, maybe it is just a strong friendship but I hope that Jeff does have 'love' feelings for John. Jeff is so caring.

 

I also like Kevin, you just have to love the little boy.

 

 

Keep up the good work Tom

and again "I'll be right here waiting for you and the next chapter"

 

Max

[Tom]

HI all,

Just a quick note...

 

First off, Sorry I've been gone so long; I've been learning to drive 18 wheelers

 

Second, I now have internet access again and am hoping to get chapter 8 going again really soon

 

third, I had to read my earlier chapters to get the feel for the story again and I think I better warn everyone that there will be re-writes

 

Hugs,

Tom

[Conner]

hehehe...well, seeing that you were just taking care of business...you're off the hook. I think we can let you out of the pillory now.

 

18 wheelers! My, my! Wow! Ya know, that's so manly! I love manly.

 

Re-write is fine, I was going to re-read the story once you posted chap 8 anyway. My short term memory sucks.

 

Glad you're back!

 

Conner