It Feels like Monday

[Kurt]

It Feels like Monday is is a story about a young man of fifteen that knows what he is, and is deathly afraid that someone will find out, and about his growing into a world that knows his biggest secret. It is a great story, and I recommend that you read it.

 

Have you read it yet? What did you think of it?

 

Chapter one is the only chapter that is out, but chapter two should be out soon. Chapter one is here.

 

Kurt

[Kurt]

Chapter 2 is now out. It is a good one!

 

Kurt

[adblue]

I read chapters 1 and 2 last night. This is a promising story so far, with a nice feel to it. Good job, lostone and Kurtie.

[Conner]

I'm enjoying this story as well.

 

I have a feeling Chap 3 may be delayed. dkstories posted a very positive comment in the e-stories section. Lostone is floating on cloud 9 somewhere feeling like he just won the Pulitzer.

 

Ok, so the ending of chap 2 has me confused. Based on Jamie's comment to John, Dad and Kevin have a good relationship. Yet, that's not the case based on what Kevin says to John. Does anyone have a take on that?

 

Hugs,

Conner

[adblue]

Idea 1: Jamie's view versus Kevin's view.

 

Another Idea:

 

Perhaps Kevin is, overall, pretty OK with his father.

 

* I'll have to reread. I think the stepdad is about the only dad that Kevin has known.

 

Kevin may be very eager to be the "good boy, good son" and be perfect for his dad. Yet, inside, he may feel like he can't ever meet his dad's super-macho, military expectations.

 

Kevin and John seem to have a pretty good relationship, although they may not have been close before. -- But the start of adolescence means teens get a little "us teens versus those adults" mentality going, and so, now Kevin may feel closer to his brother John. Kevin has just learned that even his older brother can get very upset and vulnerable, and Kevin's had a little time for that to soak in, instead of thinking it was unmanly.

 

-- Hey, all that is entirely a guess. We don't know much about the characters yet, but we've got a pretty good idea of how John is doing.

 

-- Looking forward to more chapters ahead.

[Tom]

I'm enjoying this story as well.

 

I have a feeling Chap 3 may be delayed. dkstories posted a very positive comment in the e-stories section. Lostone is floating on cloud 9 somewhere feeling like he just won the Pulitzer.

 

Ok, so the ending of chap 2 has me confused. Based on Jamie's comment to John, Dad and Kevin have a good relationship. Yet, that's not the case based on what Kevin says to John. Does anyone have a take on that?

 

Hugs,

Conner

 

Darn it Conner, your are right...chapter 3 is delayed. I didn't get it to Kurtie soon enough...and he went on vacation :wacko: . And yep, when one of my favorite Authors gives me a good review...I'll just say...I'm still grinning from ear to ear, after all, I still think I can't write And to tell the truth about chapter 2 ending, Nope, I don't have a clue where any of it is going .

 

Adblue, Stepdad?...maybe I need to reread the story ...O.K., I'll admit it the first two chapters are kinda difficult to follow. I have gotten some sugestions from various sorces that should help with that problem. But I will clarify the fact that John's dad started his transformation when Kevin was very young, thus sparing Kevin the brunt of it all

 

p.s. A conversation...about my story...Cloud nine...here I come

[adblue]

Oops, OK, I clearly need to reread the chapters then. It's been over a week, I've been stressed, and, um, yeah.... My apologies for getting confused and not rereading before posting. :blush:

[Tom]

. We don't know much about the characters yet, but we've got a pretty good idea of how John is doing.

oh,oh... I don't...give me a hint, will ya

 

 

Oops, OK, I clearly need to reread the chapters then. It's been over a week, I've been stressed, and, um, yeah.... My apologies for getting confused and not rereading before posting. :blush:

 

I'll accept your apology for getting confused...If you allow me the embarassment of not writing clearer .

[Conner]

I'll accept your apology for getting confused...If you allow me the embarassment of not writing clearer .

 

The proper procedure when an author errs is to blame the editor! Get with the program!

 

Kurt, go stand in the corner until chap 3 is ready for editing. Sucking your thumb is optional.

 

Hugs,

Conner

[Tom]

The proper procedure when an author errs is to blame the editor! Get with the program!

 

Kurt, go stand in the corner until chap 3 is ready for editing. Sucking your thumb is optional.

 

Hugs,

Conner

 

 

Sorry...I'm new at this

[adblue]

OK, I reread them. I'm really not sure how I got the idea that the dad was a stepdad. I must've dreamed that up in the week between when I read it and commented on it. How embarrassing, considering I edit.

 

Kurt can edit faster, maybe, if he's not standing in the corner, sucking his thumb. I mean, it must be harder to work the computer that way. ...Is this the way rumors get started? Kurt's probably going to chase us all with a red pen....

[Kurt]

Lol, wow. Well, I am now back. I have not even read chapter 3 yet. Hopefully I will have it back to Tom by Morning, but I do not know. My computer has a virus, so until I fix it, I will have to use my sisters laptop. I am not sure how much she will let me use it. Egh. Sorry guys.

 

Kurt

[Tom]

On a brighter note...he can take the laptop into the corner with him

 

Hey conner, when can he come out...he had chapter 3 before he left

[Tom]

I am hoping a new thread will encorage some more discusion*

 

(Yep...I can't spell)

 

approximately 9am Pacific Daylight Time...hehe...they'll never find it

[Kurt]

Good thing you have an editor. Discussion.

 

This is a great chapter! I love where the story is going.

 

Kurt

[adblue]

You've done a good job with the plot and pacing. Most of your characterization is good too, though the mom and the friends, Jeff and Tim, could use a little fleshing out. Good that you have John, Kevin, and Jamie finding their way closer to each other, and starting to function as a team. It's keeping my interest.

 

Kurt, good thing you're on the job, editing away. Watch the spelling a little bit more closely, though. Don't be shy about saying your opinion on the story elements, either. Keep up the good work.

 

I hope you're both working well as a writer-editor team. Best wishes.

[Kurt]

Kurt, good thing you're on the job, editing away. Watch the spelling a little bit more closely, though. Don't be shy about saying your opinion on the story elements, either. Keep up the good work.

Thank you for the advice! I am just a beginner, so I need all the help that I can get.

 

Kurt

[AFriendlyFace]

Hey everyone!

 

I just read chapters 1-4 and I'm totally hooked now! LOL yep, you better watch out, Tom; I'm about to start pestering you all the time for updates

 

You've done a good job with the plot and pacing. Most of your characterization is good too, though the mom and the friends, Jeff and Tim, could use a little fleshing out. Good that you have John, Kevin, and Jamie finding their way closer to each other, and starting to function as a team. It's keeping my interest.

I feel like Tom's done a great job with the characterization of John, Kevin, and Jamie in the first four chapters and defintiely set the groundwork for a more indepth look at everyone else. I guess as a writer you're faced with immediately characterizing everyone or doing it as it comes up. I feel like Tom's chosen the latter. After the first chapter I had a really good feel for Jamie (which was only increased over the next three chapters, especially the fourth). With Kevin I feel like we got a ton more depth in the 2nd and 3rd chapter. John is of course the main character and his development will always be a continuing process. Anyway I really feel like Jeff at least has a great start, and since it looks like John is going to be spending some time with him we can expect to see much more of him. I like the way Tom's presenting his story. He's just diving right in and giving us more detail as we go. I think it really works excellently for this story.

 

I posted reviews in the E-Fiction section, but I especially want to say what I thought about chapter four since it's the most recent. So here's what I said in my review:

 

WOW! What an intense chapter!

 

I'm SO impressed with the way Jamie handled everyone! She's certainly got alot on the ball! I'm glad John's getting out of that environment, at least for the time being

 

It really sounds like Jeff might have feelings for John.

 

Also this section:

"Have you ever considered that you coming out might not change much at all? It might even make life alot easier for you."

 

"Are you nuts!? Don't even go there Kevin. Just go tell Jamie that I can't come out."

 

That section has such a delightful double meaning all the way. Kevin's talking about John "coming out" in the gay sense in the first quote, and how it would make things easier, but he could easily also be encouraging John to come out of the bathroom and get the help he needs for his current situation.

 

Then John responds that he "can't come out", meaning of the bathroom, but clearly of the closet as well!

 

It's just brilliant!

 

I'm REALLY dying to read the next chapter now! Awesome job, Tom!

 

Anyway that's pretty much how I'm feeling at this point. I'm really excited that John's going to be spending some time with Jeff. Jeff sounds terrific! Also hot

 

Keep up the good work, Tom; great editing, Kurt!

Take care all,

Kevin

[Tom]

HI guys,

 

Just thought you might like to know, I finaly got chapter 5 to Kurt last night...even started chapter 6

 

hugs,

 

Tom

[Conner]

HI guys,

 

Just thought you might like to know, I finaly got chapter 5 to Kurt last night...even started chapter 6

 

hugs,

 

Tom

 

Thanks for the update, Tom!

 

Ok, Kurt, stop hogging chapter 5 already!! :2hands:

 

I have to agree with Kevin. Jeff has a crush going for John and didn't want to see his friend all bruised up for fear he'd start crying or something.

[Conner]

How do authors become so evil, so quickly? :wacko:

 

Spoilers on chap 5 follow.

 

John is manhandled by a police officer, mom's in handcuffs, there's a towel over dad's head, and John's sister's hand appears injured. What exactly happened? Don't know. I'm just a reader. I'm here for the benefit of the author, to be manipulated as he sees fit.

 

Ok, I'm finished whining. Well, maybe not quite finished. Where's chap 6???

 

I like Martin, the male nurse and Jeff's cousin. More Martin, please! One thing I know for sure - if I were Martin's patient, I wouldn't be asking for privacy.

 

Listen up, Tom. The stage is set nicely for John and Jeff. Don't go messing with it!!! :2hands:

 

Conner

[Tom]

How do authors become so evil, so quickly? :wacko:

 

Spoilers on chap 5 follow.

 

John is manhandled by a police officer, mom's in handcuffs, there's a towel over dad's head, and John's sister's hand appears injured. What exactly happened? Don't know. I'm just a reader. I'm here for the benefit of the author, to be manipulated as he sees fit.

 

Ok, I'm finished whining. Well, maybe not quite finished. Where's chap 6???

 

I like Martin, the male nurse and Jeff's cousin. More Martin, please! One thing I know for sure - if I were Martin's patient, I wouldn't be asking for privacy.

 

Listen up, Tom. The stage is set nicely for John and Jeff. Don't go messing with it!!! :2hands:

 

Conner

 

Are you sure your watching the right 'stage'?

 

and I didn't plan on toying with everyone ...but John just wouldn't tell me what happened ...

 

and spoilers...so soon...Now noboy's gonna read it ......guess I'll just have to restart chapter 6 ...

[AFriendlyFace]

Good chapter

 

More Martin, please!

Listen up, Tom. The stage is set nicely for John and Jeff. Don't go messing with it!!! :2hands:

I think Jeff and John are still on track. After all Martin specifically said his cousin told him to watch out for "someone he cares about".

 

So I am confused about this chapter. I don't know what went down, and I'm not even sure why John is that hurt. It seemed like his original wounds, while bad and ugly, didn't necessitate a hospital stay and unless I'm wrong most people don't go to the hospital simply because they fainted. So maybe he hurt himself in the fall? Or because he already had been hurt or something?

 

Anyway I can't wait to find out what happened!

Kevin

[Max03]

I finally found time to come congratulate Tom and Kurt for their amazing work on the story

[Kurt]

Also what could have happened in the house? Maybe John