MidnightSecret

{October 2, 2010} Midnight here. I've noticed that I've been writting to many happy love pieces, so I thought I would take a different approach this time. It's love, but it's dark and not pretty. Please give it a read if you have some free time, and if you don't like it, that's fine, all I ask for is that you give it a chance. Any feedback is definately appreciated!!! cheers <3 --- ... The red car shimmered across the asphalt, dripping rain like blood. No one ever told me that it would be this hard. "I thought you loved me." Or atleast that's what I keep telling myself. I wanted to come and see you again, to tell you that I was sorry; you really don't know how lovely you really are. I rubbed my neck, bruised like the sea of purple. As I look into the mirror, I keep asking myself: why do I always come back to you? I wish you would just leave, and take all these sorrows away with you. "No, you can't leave, I won't let you!" - I could barely breath after uttering these words out loud as if someone could hear me. But it was dead silent, and I was alone. I was disgusted with myself, because I knew that it would only break my heart if you did leave me. Nothing, and I say nothing can penetrate your heart of eternal darkness. Why can't you see, that I never betrayed my own heart, I just can't walk away from you, because I love you too much. So stand there, watch me burn, and watch me slowly die... In your arms. I seem to always turn a blind eye to every pain you made me suffer through, to every lie you made me swallow, and to every nightmare you made me live through. I tried to tell myself that your gone, but your prescene still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone. Through these tear stained eyes, I convinced myself to come and find you. "I am so SICK of looking at you. So... I beg of you... Stop haunting me! Stop screaming my name! Stop loving me! Stop! Stop! Stop! I hate you! ... No I don't... I love you." So do what you want with me, and let's fall back into the same pattern: press your body forcefully against mine, and my tears will drown my senses. Let me scream into your pillows, as you devour me. Suffocate me with your breath, as I dig my nails deep into your skin. Bite my lips until they bleed, tell me you love me, tell me your sorry, and I will forgive you. 'Set this bed on fire.' It's the same damn thing over and over again. Could it be that... I've been alone all along? And I was afraid to face it, so I clutched onto you, and you destroyed me. But maybe, my temper is just as bad, and I'm just as mad, and just as tortured, as YOU are. Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy and messed up as it seems to be. Maybe, just maybe, this is love. Because I know that, even though I may despise you, hate you, I will always, always follow you into the darkness, Regardless. ... - - - - That's the end of this piece for now! I put alot of thought into this, so I hope you guys enjoyed it. Who are we to say what love is? Although it is in our nature to love, how we express it is so mysterious. What do you guys think about love? Feel free to comment and discuss <333333 Stay Sweet Always xoxo Love, Your Friend.

{9/30/2019} - Hey everyone, this week has been just super busy due to school >.< Anyways, this one is to all my GA friends/fans (if I have any :') ) that I fricken adore + love so fricken much!! <3333 *hugs* - Yes it's true, whether you believe me or not, it won't change the way I feel. He walked right into my life, when I least expected it, and now he is taking over. And you know what? It's beautiful, and it feels right... Beauty personified. I couldn't see it before, but it must be the chemistry, Because "I am the rain, and he is the sun, and together we make a rainbow." I think it's beautiful. And now that I've found him, I'm bound to find happiness by being around him. I love it, the way he makes me laugh, the way he holds my hands, the way he makes me feel, and I'm glad that he knows how to be a man. I'm not ashamed to confess that nothing makes me happier than the thought of him tightly holding me against the lightly dimmed stars till the night fall fades away, letting dawn's rosy fingure tips spread across the brisk sky, whisphering in my ear, "Together, we are beautiful." It's funny isn't it? How his resplendent smile makes me leave behind all my worries, all my fears, and all my regrets, so that I could truely live my life the way I intended to until the end of the world. So let us linger here until death do us apart. Because frankly, there is no where else I rather be. Dear Lovers; Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and let your imagination run wild, be as free as the wind, a heart big as that tree, full of sweet promises and remorse, don't be afraid to love, embrace it, or forever drown in the untold confessions of a broken heart. If the whole world could just fall in love just like me and my man, then that would be beautiful. Let love take over, breath it in. It's alright to be happy, because love doesn't have to hurt. Stay Sweet Always, xoxo, Your Friend <3

I hope you have a happy birthday! Don't party too hard, or you could ignore me Take Care! xoxo,

Have a Happy Birthday ~ Be Safe! xoxo,

and to everyone else, this is just a reminder that I LOVE reading comments > xoxo,

ty for always reading my stuff! ^^

- Don't spit that word at me, I've done nothing wrong to you. You look at me, and you think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me. - He hiss those hateful words at me, my love didn't ignore it, so he asked and glared: "What did you say?" and before replying, they walked away. It makes me howl with pain that there are people who would ever want to hurt us like that. Don't they realize that people suffer everyday from hearing those words? They suffer, because it robs us of our security, our identity, and ultimately... our beauty. I've never realized how incredibly cruel people are. In this world, we all continue to struggle to find ourselves, and why is that? It is because we fear Hate. And like the sad cry of the morning dove, it is the dark song that hugs your broken heart. At times I feel that I am living in a world where I must force myself to "wear a mask, which would allow me to fool the world all I want, but I cannot ultimately fool my heart." Why must I hide my heart, my love, and myself to a world full of people who love me? And to those who spread hate, they don't matter. I hope that the world will keep on turning, and for the better. Besides, life is hard enough already so quite frankly it's too much work pretending to be someone else. - For the first time in my life I've had roses, and I've apologized to no one. I can honestly say that I love myself, sometimes I hate myself for the choices I make, but I will celebrate my life the way I intend to, whether that means I laugh or I cry, I won't regret it. For every breath I take, and for every step I take, I do it for the freedom of my heart and soul. I am free to laugh, to love, to cry, and live my life with the people who matter the most to me. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I hope you would all do the same, cast a warm glowing light on yourself, show the world what's inside your heart, and be loved for who you are. And if there are people who try to attack you, just remember that they don't matter as long as you are happy and a good person. I hope that one day each and ever one of you will realize that you are special, that you are beautiful, and that you will understand why the word "Queer" will never touch you again. Be yourself, sing your song to the world, because someday soon, that song will stop playing, so make the most of what you have! Besides, it's just a hateful word that stupid people use to hurt each other. Stay Sweet Always xoxo, Your Friend

I'm so sorry to hear about such news, I could only imagine. With that being said, I guess there's no need to cry :] Because the sun will come out once again, as if she has never left you, her memory and her love will always be perpetuated in your heart. Stay Strong Ms.Wonderful xoxo, Your Friend

Thank you so much for these words, you may never know how much they mean to me.

September 16, 2010 It was now or never... In the heat of the moment, I stepped up to him, and kissed him with every strength I had. In the close confines of his arms, it felt like I had stepped right up into the stars themselves... Like I had become one with the sky, and that together "we were as clean and pure and wide as the universe itself." It was as if my mind was completely devoured by the dream world. It left me breathless, and for once in my life, everything felt so right. We stayed that way for a long time, maybe until the sun had touched the sky and the hour had called us home. All my life I have waited for love to come and stay. And now that it has, I'm afraid that it will all somehow slip away. Maybe it's inevitable, and I guess we'll never know for sure. Sometimes it's hard to trust in the words that may only hurt you in the end. At first I tried to fight the love I felt for you, I didn't know why, but I tried so hard not to look at your face. Because I was afraid. I was truely afraid that if I opened up my heart to you, I would only risk getting hurt. And it was because of this reason that I needed to get away from it all, and it hurts my soul to say that had I walked away from something so great. I ran, and I ran as far as I could until there was no where left to run. When the nights were so long and lonely, you were the beautiful melody that inspired me to be the person I have always wanted to be my entire life. So you should know that... It was the things you did that brought me back to you. There is no gaurentee that this life is ever easy, so we must be willing to take any opportunities that pop up along the way. My friend, even if you may get hurt, I promise you that you will rise once again, and that you will learn to love again, but this time you will be stronger. When you love someone or something strong enough to be able to take risks, then it must be worth it. Remember; if it feels good, then it must be good. Does your Mind understand why you need to take the risk? Does your Heart demand it? Does your Soul realize the possible outcomes? Yes? Then Risk it. Love is simply too beautiful to run from. - Stay Sweet Always. xoxo, MidnightSecret

ahaha, this is such a cute forum thread <33 I have a confession to make: I have a crush on ALL of you guys! Spread the love xoxo,

I've been reading wuthering heights these past few weeks, and I am in love <333 - "If all else perished, and you remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and you were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it" - Cathy - "Why did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me, and cry, and wring out my kisses and tears; they'll blight you - they'll damn you. You loved me--then what right had you to leave me? What right--answer me--for the poor fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery, and degradation and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart--you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine." - Heathcliff - "And I pray one prayer--I repeat it till my tongue stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you--haunt me, then! The murdered DO haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts HAVE wandered on earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad! only DO not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I CANNOT live without my life! I CANNOT live without my soul!" - Heathcliff

{September 14, 2010} Dear Lovers and Friends, How are you today? Oh so your feeling good today? Good. Now I need some words of wisdom from you. What does it mean to take a "chance?" How do we define such a thing and must it only occur once a life time? I, for one, have learned about the many places I've wanted to, dreamed of, and spoke of going to. But in reality, I hadn't actually set foot outside my door. Why was that? To be frank, I still had no idea what stopped me from the pursuit of happiness, love, and life. Maybe it was because I was afraid of rejection or that such a pursuit is absolute falconry? So what if this supposedly pivotal moment in my life was to come unexpected, do I go for it with open arms, or do I let it go and submit to my own tragic destiny? There's a reason why I keep ranting on and on: it's because I feel that there might be someone special in my life at the moment. However, where our relationship is situated at the moment is still sort of a mystery to me. This is because I've been asking this same question all week over and over again: "Should I let him be a part of my life? Yes? No?" If I do, this would dramtically change things for me... Adjustments would have to be made blah blah blah. I'm just scared that if things go to fast, that like a strike of lightning it would only end quickly. What was your first love like? What do you guys say about taking chances? Am I ready to jump off the edge with him? I would appreciate any advice, since you guys rock! <3 xoxo, MidnightSecret<3

Love this Song: " Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world? - Because you don't love me any more. " " Why do the birds go on singing? Why do the stars glow above ? Don't they know it's the end of the world? - It ended when I lost your love." " I wake up in the morning and I wonder Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand, no, I can't understand - How life goes on the way it does." " Why does my heart go on beating? Why do these eyes of mine cry? Don't they know it's the end of the world? - It ended when you said goodbye." </3

"If all else perished, and you remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and you were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger." Would it have made a differance at all? These nights have been too long and lonely, and this road doesn't seem as bright as it was before. Maybe I have lost my way? Some say love is a work of moving art with the ability to paint endless images into one's mind. And these images are the dreams that are afraid of waking. And these are the dreams that speak to your soul. It melts your resistance to sensibility. "Did I trip, did I stumble, loose my balance, graze my knee, graze my heart?" "I know I'm in love when I see you. I know when I long to see you I'm on fire. Not a muscle has moved. Leaves hang unruffled by any breeze. The air is still. I have fallen in love without taking a step. You are all wrong for me and I know it. But I no longer care for my thoughts unless they're thoughts of you." No matter how many times I write "I love you" there is never enough room to convey how sorry I was to let him go. But it was my heart that was afraid of breaking that I never even bothered to take a chance, a chance to learn to sing, to dance, to laugh, and to love... him. I told him goodbye. He was gone, and so was this world we created together; it could not survive. Maybe goodbye doesn't mean forever. And maybe I'll see him again. It was me; I was afraid of dying that I never learned to live.

<3

Dear Beautiful, "We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

you Hated it. The way he would stay with you. and All he did was infest your mind, and helplessly gnawed at your Heart as it devoured you completely. You have fallen into the trap of the dark villian. like the nightmare that makes you scream, there is nothing that can penetrate his Heart... of darkness. like the sad cry of the morning dove, he is the dark song that hugs your Broken Heart. you Hated him. but Craved him in your system; And it Sickened you. an Idiot, madly in love with a Monster.

GAH I've been so busy lately... So no poems for awhile </3 But here's a confession I would like to share: "I am convinced that... You must be a good runner because you're always running on my mind. You must be a great thief because you've stolen my heart but I must be a horrible shooter because I'm always missing you." That is all, have a good night everyone <333

LOVED IT! <3 You will not regret reading this book!

@Mark Thx for mentioning MaMa Cass, absolutely LOVED HER, D': "Dream a little Dream of me," never fails to put a smile on my face each time :]

thanks! :]

My heart swelled as I brushed my fingers againt the ink of his words, as if I was slowly deciphering a secret code. I never knew, never never never knew, until now. ... "I never knew if it was a coincident, but every time he played the piano, raindrops would always fall from the sky. And All I could hear was a sad melody, as it hugged the colorless sky, like the sad cry of a morning dove. I felt a stir in my heart each time, and I helplessly clutched on to it, as it devoured me completely. The memory of when we first met was permanently stained onto my heart. When I came across him, he was in my eyes, stunningly beautiful. As he turned around startled, his face was bathed in the sun's ravishing light, and his body glowed with streaks of radiant colors. Time had stopped, and had given me the opportunity to stare into his lustrous eyes blazing with desire. As occupied as my eyes were, that fixed image of him immediately perpetuated in my memories forever. I was convinced that one glace from him, a whole nation would fall. As the days passed by, I was determined to take him away, to breakaway from our foolish lives. Redundantly, I listened to him play each passing day, with more pleasure in seeing his resplendent smile." ... -- ... The story of his heart was as forbidden as it was fragile, without it mysteries it could not survive. I never knew until the day he was gone that I was in fact loved by someone I loved, and the rest were in shadows, and the rest were a secret. It would be so beautiful if the world could be blind, if it could fall in love with us.

adorkable

These Memories we made, they play redundantly in my head, and they can't seem to slip out of my mind too easily. It hurts not being able to Grasp them with my own hands. The pain doesn't get easier each passing day. But I'm still holding on to all those letters you wrote to me, holding them with my heart. ... I whisphered something into the wind, hoping to leave a dent in the air, "I Love You..." But it was already lost in the night that was engulfed by nothing but thunder, tonight it wasn't only the sky that was crying as it began to swallow the moon. ... Come back, come back to me, I'll be waiting underneath the stars, and that is where you will always find me.